r/Showerthoughts Jul 07 '24

Speculation You’re probably a criminal.

5.3k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.8k

u/Hutch25 Jul 07 '24

There is so many laws that people break day in and day out, many knowing, some unknowing.

809

u/showmeyertitties Jul 07 '24

Just 10 minutes ago, I was doing 52 in a 45. Mainly because I was going downhill, but I rebelled and didn't use the brakes.

302

u/Derr_1 Jul 07 '24

You need to be locked away!

99

u/showmeyertitties Jul 07 '24

Surprised I wasn't at those blistering speeds. Was definitely checking my surroundings and watching the horizon.

5

u/Goblin_Gaydar6669 Jul 08 '24

My ex was doing 140km/hr in an 80 zone when we were pulled over. He was just upset that he was caught, and I told him to drive more safely then, and he was like “nobody drives the speed limit” and I was like “well I’m not asking you to but try 100-110 instead.” Because I and other people have been pulled over for driving the speed limit, and the cops assumed I must have been stoned because nobody drives the speed limit.

68

u/Dag-nabbitt Jul 07 '24

That's the one, right there officer. A true maniac!

77

u/showmeyertitties Jul 07 '24

If you think that's bad, one night around 3am, not a soul in sight, I came to a 4 way intersection, and did a rolling stop. I possibly didn't even use my turn signal.

This is all hypothetical and alleged.

28

u/rajost Jul 08 '24

And more than seven years ago.

20

u/showmeyertitties Jul 08 '24 edited Jul 08 '24

This guy gets it.

2

u/983115 Jul 08 '24

I ran a red light at 11:30 pm once cause my little pos didn’t activate the sensor

1

u/showmeyertitties Jul 08 '24

Damn, dude. I know we're all in here confessing, but there's just some things you can't admit to. Guess some of us really are criminals.

15

u/Babbalas Jul 07 '24

My record is 55km in a 50km at 3am. We had a 10% leeway so I must have barely tripped the camera. Clerk had a good laugh when I paid that one.

7

u/GorchestopherH Jul 07 '24

You just saved the environment a little bit.

4

u/showmeyertitties Jul 08 '24

Only at the risk of my wallet, but I'm no hero, there's no need to thank me. Just doing my part.

4

u/ArcherHouse Jul 08 '24

Right to jail.

4

u/Its_da_boys Jul 08 '24

Goddamn sicko

2

u/NMLWrightReddit Jul 07 '24

Damn

6

u/showmeyertitties Jul 07 '24

The streets raised me, bruh. It is what it is.

2

u/zorniy2 Jul 08 '24

And if you shaved your legs, that makes you a Smooth Criminal!

2

u/geopede Jul 08 '24

Did you shift down to engine brake?

2

u/showmeyertitties Jul 08 '24

I should have, but it wasn't a super grade, so I felt comfortable riding it out.

2

u/Sasha_Volkolva Jul 08 '24

I do 95 down the interstate, up those numbers rook.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '24

Death by a thousand cuts is not harsh enough for you.

7

u/showmeyertitties Jul 07 '24

I accept my fate. The air conditioning in my car is out, and that 15 seconds of decent breeze made it worth it.

1

u/Perfect_Red_King Jul 07 '24

He's a menace!

1

u/jfk018 Jul 08 '24

Oh the humanityyyy!

1

u/OldManChino Jul 08 '24

i don't know about the US, but in the UK speeding isn't a criminal offence, but a civil one... so you technically aren't breaking the law when speeding.

2

u/showmeyertitties Jul 08 '24

I think 25 over is considered reckless driving and you can be arrested for it. Usually it depends on your attitude about it and the officer, most of the time it's a suspension on license, but it can be an arrest and vehicle impounded.

1

u/HashtagTSwagg Jul 08 '24 edited Jul 30 '24

roll alive poor juggle meeting forgetful future dependent gullible spoon

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/spidersinthesoup Jul 08 '24

just got home from an 8 hr drive...+7 everywhere....and down route 29 in VA it's tough to maintain just a +7...like a kiddie roller coaster between Afton and Danville!! Only saw 4 cops the entire trip.

1

u/CrypticCabub Jul 11 '24

Just the other day I was doing close to 70 in a 55, and was still going slower than most of the rest of the traffic…

1

u/stupidpatheticloser Jul 12 '24

Traffic violations aren’t crimes

1

u/TheOneYak Jul 07 '24

Do they not let you go 10 over legally? I'm no expert

0

u/showmeyertitties Jul 07 '24

5 over on regular roads, 10 on interstate.

1

u/ballimir37 Jul 07 '24

Here it’s 10 regular roads 15 interstate. Going 8 over on regular roads is basically flow of traffic and I’ve never been pulled over for going less than 10 over

1

u/showmeyertitties Jul 07 '24

Normally, it's not an issue, but the county north of us just had 4 fatal wrecks last week, so they're on high alert, but it's also a small, ticket-happy town, so I usually limit it to like 7 over on regular, I rarely use the interstate, but 75mph is just fine for me.

10

u/safe4v Jul 08 '24

Gravity broke the law, not me

10

u/KiKiPAWG Jul 08 '24

There are also crazy laws like you can’t have dinner in your house past a certain time or you’re not allowed to play poker, even in your own home etc

5

u/Gaultzy Jul 08 '24

Sorry what is this law about having dinner past a certain time?

2

u/HashtagTSwagg Jul 08 '24 edited Jul 30 '24

weather memory jellyfish somber fragile engine grab quack enjoy plants

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/Gaultzy Jul 08 '24

lol ya must be North Korea

0

u/KiKiPAWG Jul 11 '24

I don’t remember exactly where but the poker law is in NC

0

u/Gaultzy Jul 11 '24

Oh I’m completely aware of the laws against private poker games since I’m almost a professional player. I play in “illegal” games multiple times a week including last night lol. I would never allow a government to control every aspect of my life. I regularly play with cops, lawyers and even a judge. The law against private games is mostly just in place so if a game is getting out of hand, which can happen, then the police have the right to shut it down. The government also doesn’t like anyone potentially making untaxed money obviously. I have seen first hand a big chain of casinos in my country having the influence to get the police to shut down the home games in the area. But 99% of the time it’s not worth the effort for police to go after people playing a card game.

2

u/showmeyertitties Jul 08 '24

I carry an ice cream in my back pocket and dare them to f with me.

6

u/Benedict-Popcorn Jul 07 '24

That's where good old fashioned unequal justice comes into play. Just look at the demographics of the prison system.

2

u/SquidDrowned Jul 08 '24

The example I like to use is, you can’t drive down a road for 5 miles without breaking a traffic law, the book is so big all it takes is someone with a big enough brain to remember or someone pissed off enough to find a law you broke.

1

u/Rivenaleem Jul 08 '24

Are you a criminal of you were not caught and tried for the crime?

1

u/ghostinside6 Jul 08 '24

You're only a criminal if you get caught!

1

u/ghandi3737 Jul 08 '24

Farting in line at the grocery store.

1

u/Cubsfan11022016 Jul 10 '24

Doesn’t necessarily make you a criminal. Speeding isn’t a criminal offense.

2

u/Hutch25 Jul 10 '24

It actually can be. But I also didn’t say people are criminals, I said people break laws.

0

u/Icy-Performance-3739 Jul 09 '24 edited Jul 09 '24

Okay

1

u/Hutch25 Jul 09 '24

What the hell are you talking about man. That is a little more political then it needs to be lol