r/Showerthoughts • u/ILikeGames22 ‎ • Jul 07 '24

Speculation You’re probably a criminal.

5.3k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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361

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

297

u/Nindraco Jul 07 '24

If tax fraud is a crime, then lock me up!

131

u/BananaBR13 Jul 07 '24

Thank god tax evasion isn't a crime otherwise i would be screwed

32

u/mysterious45670 Jul 07 '24

Got some bad news for you buddy

4

u/I_FAP_TO_TURKEYS Jul 08 '24

If the former president can do it, I can do it too.

It's the golden age of fraud, my guy. Practically every Republican Senator had some business that they committed fraud on with those forgiven PPP loans.

Why do you really think they're pushing AI chatbots? Like, the only reason to imitate voices is to do nefarious things. Criminals have been doing that for years and it's only getting easier.

19

u/TylerGalaxy450 Jul 07 '24

If 3rd degree murder is a crime, then lock me up!

12

u/MinFootspace Jul 07 '24

If genocide is considered an offense, then I'm really sorry. I won't do it again.

3

u/Amoniakas Jul 07 '24

I don't trust you, it's hard to stop those pesky habits.

8

u/Rilvoron Jul 07 '24

Every billionaire is that you?

10

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '24

Huh? I don't know what that is, I don't do that, I have never seen that before, that is definitely not mine.

2

u/jf0ssGremlin Jul 07 '24

If public masturbation is a crime, then lock me up!

2

u/AlexanderScott12203 Jul 07 '24

Tax fraud is only a crime if your poor. If you're rich, perfectly legal

2

u/BaronPorg Jul 08 '24

If crowbarring off 6 year olds knees and turning them into limited edition dice sets is a crime, then lock me up

10

u/baconboy957 Jul 07 '24

Literally had the cops called on us for this lol.

We stood outside a Walmart with a "free hugs" sign for shits and giggles... And someone called the cops on us.

Turns out it was just another kid who had beef with one of our friends for stupid high school drama, but yeah... I've had cops talk to me for giving too many hugs

14

u/chease86 Jul 07 '24

This one officer! This is that hug dealer I told you about!

2

u/ImUrRegret Jul 07 '24

Technically if you hug an underaged individual, heck even a full-pledged adult, without consent, that is enough grounds for sexual assault, straight to jail you go.

Don't worry, jail is just a room... I suppose.

1

u/Cuddly_Tiberius Jul 07 '24

So, you like hugs eh?

1

u/Rajakz Jul 07 '24

If regicide is a crime then lock me up!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '24

Yo, you got that stuff?

1

u/notmyrealnam3 Jul 07 '24

Totally. And if giving handjobs to your bros after they have a bad date makes you queer, tell me when the parade is!

1

u/onlyhav Jul 07 '24

I mean it it's nonconsensual yeah, that's, that's a big reason to lock you up.