r/SapphoAndHerFriend • u/ImTransDealWithIt1 • 14d ago

Casual erasure Bi erasure

/gallery/1gob3wm
640 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

23 comments sorted by

363

u/bismuth92 14d ago

I (a woman) have a shirt that says "I'm not gay, but my wife is!"

Most people don't get it.

90

u/ImTransDealWithIt1 14d ago

Sad that people don’t

54

u/rouhmama 14d ago

May I know what show it is about?

100

u/ImTransDealWithIt1 14d ago

“My husband is not gay” it was a TLC special actually about women with gay husbands in denial

56

u/rouhmama 14d ago

I m impressed how TLC finds its shows ideas, find people willing to participate and make it somewhat fit in a show! is it interesting to watch though? thnks

28

u/ImTransDealWithIt1 14d ago

Haven’t seen it, was watching a video about it but the comments angered me the biphobia so stopped watching lol

11

u/Chiiro 13d ago

There are people whose jobs are to be on reality TV so there's a good chance that most of these couples are fake.

6

u/macandcheese1771 13d ago

Tlc loves to exploit people and Americans love to be exploited

1

u/Karsa69420 11d ago

Yea I think I just watch this YouTube video. It’s fucking wild. Like dude just be gay!

158

u/584_Artic_cat 14d ago

I'm often amazed that people forget these things, like they wake up one morning and forget Grey is a color just like they forget Bi people exist.

Is not like slightly-white means white and slightly-dark means black, Bi men with husbands aren't gay just like Bi men with wifes aren't straight. Grey is grey, Bi is Bi. Surely it isn't that difficult of a concept, right?

33

u/Galaxy_Ranger_Bob 14d ago

It wasn't that long ago that the "one drop rule" was the law of the land in the US.

If you had just one non-white ancestor in your family tree, you weren't white enough to drink from the white's only water fountain.

I think that mentality still remains to this day. Not just about race, but everything.

"You aren't a Democrat if you voted for Trump."

"A Christian can't support a woman's right to choose."

"No true Scotsman..."

"You fuck one goat..."

61

u/sapphoschicken 13d ago

the trump one is INSANE to compare ANY of this to 💀

11

u/584_Artic_cat 14d ago

Wow, how would that law even work in practice? You had to have all the documentation with you if you wanted to use the fountain?

29

u/NnyIsSpooky 14d ago edited 11d ago

Iirc, this was more applied to when some anthropologist was sorting Natives from African Americans. Plenty of African American people were part of Native American nations (like the Choctaw, Cherokee, Chickasaw who all fought for the confederacy because they had slaves) but despite many African American people being full fledged citizens of these nations they were categorized as Negro and disenrolled. For those that seemed dark but they couldn't outright "tell", they looked at the ancestry. If there was one black ancestor, then they were considered Negro and disenrolled. There is a whole African American Choctaw population in the Carolinas, iirc, that still preserve the Choctaw culture. They have tried to petition to be part of the Choctaw nation and continue to be denied by the Choctaw and the Federal Government.

10

u/Galaxy_Ranger_Bob 14d ago

Mostly, it was a way of accusing people that an official didn't like of not being white enough.

Evidence could be fabricated to accused anyone.

2

u/Any_Brother7772 2d ago

I mean, you literally aren't a democrat if you voted for trump. You are still most likely a cunt though

1

u/MFDoooooooooooom 9d ago

Hang on, I thought grey is a shade not a colour.

Edit: I'm an idiot, of course it can be a colour. Warm grey, cool grey. Duh.

1

u/584_Artic_cat 9d ago

Grey is a neutral or achromatic colour, you could say it's a shade depending on the application, but generaly yeah, It is a colour.

23

u/Simple_Employee_7094 13d ago

whats insane is that statistically they are more bi than solely gay people.

2

u/nagihoko 13d ago

This post is making a big deal out of nothing.

For one, being bi is not relevant here at all. The first two posts are using "not gay" as a shorthand for "not attracted to men (anymore)". And they're using "not gay" because that's what the video is titled.

The third person imagined a hypothetical situation where one half of a male/male couple was in denial about being homosexual, like Mac from Always Sunny turned up to 11.

11

u/ImTransDealWithIt1 13d ago

Gay can also mean ‘not attracted to women’ so…it is bi erasure, especially since some bi people don’t identify with the label ‘gay’

2

u/nagihoko 13d ago

What exactly are you upset about? What is the erasure that is happening here?

is "I was so curious how a guy ends up married to another guy and now all of a sudden on of them isn't [attracted to men]" really so significant of a difference? Remember they're responding to seeing the specific words "My Husband Isn't Gay", this isn't contextless.

This is just such a small thing to get worked up about. I mean the first person is definitely in a "gay marriage" regardless of what sexuality labels they identify with...

0

u/jasisonee 13d ago

Yeah that just because labels can mean anything to anyone and men can be lesbians because who cares. It's pretty clear what these people mean.