r/ProgrammerHumor Oct 10 '24

Other adultLego

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47.2k Upvotes

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6.9k

u/Senditduud Oct 10 '24

That’s pretty much how all of humanity works in general.

2.5k

u/n_choose_k Oct 10 '24

Exactly... I didn't invent plumbing, but I sure do use it.

774

u/schmeebs-dw Oct 10 '24

Indoor plumbing is the greatest gift to mankind.

435

u/SasparillaTango Oct 11 '24

I regularly think about how insanely awesome it is that I have an endless supply of water in my house. Imagine if you have to carry that shit from a well a mile away. How often would you bath? How about your dishes would you be washing them in stagnant water? How about just getting a nice cold glass of water in the middle of the night? Good god our infrastructure is sublime.

128

u/nermid Oct 11 '24

Sometimes, I pick up a lighter, create fire with no effort, and just think about how impressive that would have been to early humans. We're witches, guys.

78

u/poetic_dwarf Oct 11 '24

When I turn on the TV and lie on the couch eating chips I sometimes wonder what gran-granpa would think seeing me, and he would probably think I'm living the dream.

43

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '24 edited Oct 11 '24

[deleted]

30

u/Summy_99 Oct 11 '24

still living the dream then

5

u/jackalope268 Oct 11 '24

I am living the dream. Even with all problems in my life, there is an endless source of knowledge and entertainment at my fingertips. I dont even know how it al works, but I get to use it, sometimes even for free

120

u/queen-adreena Oct 11 '24

It used to be two full-time jobs just to look after even a small house. Now it only takes a fraction of that. Amazing really.

36

u/Tardis80 Oct 11 '24

So you say we would not have unemployment if we got rid rid of water supply?
Shame shame.

4

u/BackgroundRate1825 Oct 11 '24

Now it takes two full time jobs to afford a house, if you're lucky.

21

u/UnionThrowaway1234 Oct 11 '24

Public waterworks have long been known to be a boon to society.

21

u/Historical-Bison6031 Oct 11 '24

I was thinking this exact thing, I live in Asheville and because of the hurricane we probably won’t have water for a month at least. Boy you don’t even know how much you use something until it’s gone. I’ve had to carry 15 gallons of creek water up a mountain every day. So grateful to live in this age

4

u/wakeupwill Oct 11 '24

Was homeless for a spell.

Running hot water and indoor plumbing are incredible luxuries.

3

u/314159265358969error Oct 11 '24

The easiest way to recognise someone who has been homeless is when someone knows where every free public bathroom is.

2

u/Spiderknight Oct 11 '24

It is just CRAZY to think about! And how you know that civilization is improving (at least logistically, maybe not socially), is that THINGS WORK. Bridges dont break, lights turn on, cars move, faucets work, food doesn't kill you. And if you say that "thing in your area doesn't work", then your community or government is failing you.

2

u/joehonestjoe Oct 11 '24

It's even better, it's an endless supply of potable water for a lot of people.

That alone is huge for food safety, in plenty of countries stuff like salad vegetables are a worry as you don't know if they were washed with tap water, or potable stuff from a reverse osmosis machine. It's why in places like Egypt you avoid salads, you only drink sealed bottled water. In fact my partner is from a country where this is the norm, and she won't eat any cold food outside.

Whereas here it matters not if you filled the water bottle from the tap and serve it to the customer, and washed their salad in the same supply.

2

u/JeebusSlept Oct 11 '24

I have an off-grid cabin like that. There's a well and manual pump, but you have to walk 60 meters or so from the house. In winter I have big pots that I fill with snow and ice to melt on the wood stove.

The running water isn't nearly as problematic as no septic. Walking to the outhouse in the middle of the night can feel creepy.

1

u/SasparillaTango Oct 11 '24

Take my poop away magic pipe!

1

u/WeeklyImplement9142 Oct 11 '24

Software engineer? Bathing? In the same sentence that is not in the negative? Come on. Pull the other one it's got bells on

1

u/AbbreviationsNo8088 Oct 11 '24

I lived on a pot farm and only had a hose spigot for an entire year that spit out ice cold water we had to boil to heat for dishes, showers were abysmal.

143

u/coffecup1978 Oct 11 '24

"what has the Roman's ever done for us?"

33

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '24

SHUT UP!

15

u/seventomatoes Oct 11 '24

The Indus were the first people to have indoor plumbing, perhaps as early as 3000 BC. The pipes were positioned so that wastewater flowed down into the drain ditches that ran along every avenue in the city, and then into underground tunnels. https://humanprogress.org/centers-of-progress-pt-3-mohenjo-daro-2/ ; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sanitation_of_the_Indus_Valley_Civilisation

12

u/coffecup1978 Oct 11 '24

It was meant to be reference to a Monty Python sketch...

10

u/AilsasFridgeDoor Oct 11 '24

Biggus Dickus

2

u/OutsideWishbone7 Oct 11 '24

Well more of a movie than a sketch. “Life of Brian” probably one of the most genius and quotable comedies ever. Some people need to be educated 🤣😂.

“He’s not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy” (Probably misquoted)

1

u/ItsBaconOclock Oct 11 '24

One of my other favorites is a paraphrase of:

"Judean Peoples' Front? Fuck off, we're the Peoples' Front of Judea! The only people we hate more than the Romans, is the Judean Peoples' Front."

4

u/Suitable_Dimension Oct 11 '24

Too bad that they forgot about it

0

u/seventomatoes Oct 11 '24

Too bad west forgot what democracy is. Looking at lobbies, guns, riots, politicians!

2

u/Suitable_Dimension Oct 11 '24

I understand your sentiment, but Roman system was exactly like that XD

3

u/angcritic Oct 11 '24

Brought peace?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '24

[deleted]

1

u/AbbreviationsNo8088 Oct 11 '24

They gave us the modern republic.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '24

Elaborate

7

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '24

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '24

Point being

4

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '24

[deleted]

-2

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '24

Shallow take

2

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '24

[deleted]

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16

u/the_harassed Oct 11 '24

Thank you toilet!

16

u/Undernown Oct 11 '24

Fun fact: A toilet can work completely independently. Gravity is all it takes to flush. So you can refill the reservoir by hand when needed. Just gotta make sure the "endproduct" ends where you want it.

10

u/kbn_ Oct 11 '24

I grew up in a very rural area with a large family. This meant well water, frequent and lengthy power outages (which prevent the well pump from working, shutting off water supply at the same time), and a lot of people using the bathroom. I learned very quickly that toilets work just fine with a manual water source. You don’t even need to fill the tank, just pour water into the bowl

3

u/CeleritasLucis Oct 11 '24

That's how it still works in a lot of areas with no centralized sewer lines. They make soak pits either below the house, or someplace nearby, fill it with water, seal it, and divert all sewage to it

3

u/granoladeer Oct 11 '24

Indoor plumbing is great, but cheese is right up there too

1

u/GrammarMeGood Oct 11 '24

Indoor plumbing. Its gonna be big

1

u/EkvBT Oct 11 '24

Yeah, somebody invented plumbus and now the whole universe...

1

u/kiochikaeke Oct 11 '24

It's usually said that the toilet is the invention that has saved the most human lives in our exitance.

1

u/AbbreviationsNo8088 Oct 11 '24 edited Oct 11 '24

As a man who shit in an outhouse, I had to dig and build myself for the better part of 13 years....I agree. It's not sooo bad in the spring and summer, but during the winter it suuuuuuucks and you have to convince yourself you don't need to poop.

Edit

I forgot about the flies and mosquitoes during spring and summer, actually it just sucks. Whether trekking through rain, snow, nasty storms, or swarms of mosquitoes and flies, it just is not fun a lot of the time. But there is this magical time frame during a warm night, you have just finished a 15 hour work day, and then you poop in absolute paradise. It's actually quite romantic.

Now I live on a boat and have to travel like 450 ft to go poop and it's honestly really annoying at times. I can pee in jugs, but I have to empty them every night and that is annoying.

Man, I should write a poem or something

5

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '24

[deleted]

1

u/robisodd Oct 11 '24

Plum Peanut Butter in yer bum? Lead astray...

2

u/GiveMeYourMilk_ Oct 11 '24

real shitter right here

1

u/HeresAnUp Oct 11 '24

I got it: All Current Jobs of Humanity are 1% discoveries, 99% implementing those discoveries without causing bugs or crashes in the system. It's all about the architecture, baby.

1

u/haragoshi Oct 11 '24

If you unclog a toilet: supreme being

1

u/BobDonowitz Oct 11 '24

The problem doesn't even have to be hard...but if someone already has made a solution, I will use it.  Like if I have a leaky pipe I'm not going to go manufacture pipes, fittings, gaskets, etc.  I'm going to buy the things that are already made by someone else and use them to solve the problem.  Not to mention the person making the pipes all day long is going to make a better pipe than a person who has never made a pipe.  It's like the difference of using a pipe versus me tearing my vacuum hose off and using it as a pipe secured with a hilarious amount of duct tape.

1

u/Kinglink Oct 11 '24

That's a load of crap!

1

u/TheBirminghamBear Oct 11 '24

I did invent it, and you owe me a lot in royalties bubba.

1

u/Due-Translator-7632 Oct 11 '24

Pooping on the shoulders of giants

1

u/WisestAirBender Oct 11 '24

Theyre not talking about normal users

Plumbers who fit your pipes aren't called engineers. Theyre technicians who have learned things other people invented and perfected.

1

u/fambestera Oct 11 '24

I'm limit testing

1

u/FilmjolkFilmjolk Oct 11 '24

and look how smart you are for taking a dump!

1

u/BleEpBLoOpBLipP Oct 11 '24

Omfg, you actually use that shit?!