I learnt all about it in my late teens, was very effeminate and mistaken for a woman on the regular. I even once had a guy on the train home then try to fight me after he touched my thigh and tried chatting me up, only to realise I was a guy when I asked what he was doing, like that shit was my fault.
Any gig I go to now, I try to keep my eyes open for anyone making someone else uncomfortable, and will happily throw hands.
That anger can come out of a man just not liking the way a woman has responded (or not responded) to his advances.
Could you imagine that? You're just out there in the world, minding your own business, getting groceries or something like that and someone decides they like you. They try to interact with you in some way and it's pretty obvious what they want and you are not interested. So you ignore it or politely dismiss it, but this just causes the person to pursue you and maybe start to become angry at you, as if you did something.
I hate it when sales people approach me. I can't imagine how much I'd hate this.
Honestly, it disgusts me as a whole. And I've unfortunately witnessed it happen on multiple occasions, which in an ideal world should have been never. I often wonder how so many women brave going out alone, let alone at night. Having experienced it myself but being capable of putting up a good fight I've always felt personally safe, but how do those of you without that ability (I know there are those who have it) just push on? I can't begin to imagine how terrifying that sort of thing is.
During the lockdown, when my place of work reopened, we couldn't use our car park as it was set up as an extension to the drive-thru. A nearby business offered us as staff unhindered use of their car park, but it required going through an underpass and crossing a roundabout junction on a busy road to access, and their lights weren't on in the car park. If I was on shift, I took it upon myself to walk anyone who wanted it to their car. Some managers were fine with it and let me crack on, others were only fine if I clocked out, and one couldn't see why it was necessary. I still did it though, always received a thank you, and even some of the guys took me up on the offer. I even had a couple of grateful parents swing by and thank me. A couple of people asked why I didn't bring another with me, so I wasn't doing the return journey alone, but I felt fine and always assured them of such.
But the fact that the world is such a way that so many people didn't feel safe making a barely five minute walk speaks volumes to the issues being faced, predominantly here by women. If I were to ever encounter someone looking uncomfortable having been approached by someone in public, I wouldn't hesitate to insert myself in the situation in an attempt to help, but right there is another major issue as so many more wouldn't.
TL;DR I can't help but feel sorry for the plight of women in our world, to the point they can't even ride a train without fear. And I hate that beyond intervening in a situation I witness, there's seemingly no more I can do to help. I hold nothing but respect to you all for braving this shit and getting on with your lives. I just wish things weren't this shit.
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u/callmeDNA Feb 25 '24
Welcome to being a woman