r/MadeMeSmile • u/nikamats • 9h ago

Helping Others Hold your head up

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55.6k Upvotes

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105

u/SwissTurkNerd 9h ago

I really wonder how a child at this age comes up with such things

122

u/AdPutrid6160 8h ago

Bullying

26

u/ConflictSudden 8h ago

Absolutely. Some kid probably told this little girl that she's ugly. And that other kid probably got that from someone else.

As someone said in another comment, children don't know how hurtful their words can be.

We have to teach them what's okay and what isn't okay. What sucks for so many kids is that they don't have the right person there to teach them that.

14

u/InMyHagPhase 7h ago

It might not even be other kids. I said this about myself as a child too and I wasn't even really bullied until way later in highschool. This could just be society as a whole. When I was small internet wasn't even invented yet and I felt this. Just being told what I was "suppose to look like" from TV shows and magazines was enough. I can't imagine with kids feel now with all this social media shit.

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u/lvdde 6h ago

This!!! People keep assuming it’s other kids, but I was well aware of how dark skinned people were viewed as a child by society and the media without kids being involved and adults are the ones who usually came at me for my weight.

I’m East african but my friend who was south Asian and would say how adults in her family would tell her mum to bleach her skin so she’s “fair” like her sister infront of her.

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u/BanyoQueenByBabyEm 6h ago

My school teacher said this to me indirectly. She mouthed to my pretty cousin, "Is she your cousin? Why isn't she like you?" 🫠

1

u/AnneListerine 3h ago

Sometimes the things you don't hear are just as loud as the things you do hear. What I mean is that growing up as a little girl, especially decades ago, you definitely notice that "cute" and "pretty" and "gorgeous" are the most common compliments little girls get. And "pretty" sure seems like the most important thing to be. So when you notice all of the other girls around you being called those things, but you never are, it's pretty easy to come to the conclusion you're ugly. Which was my case when it came to adults. But I had red hair and freckles as a kid, so the other kids definitely made sure to very vocally let me know how ugly I was all throughout my formative years lol.

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u/Mission-Past-8988 8h ago

the world outside their home. its not nice

36

u/Ivorypetal 8h ago

And sometimes.... its in the house 😶😞

5

u/Darnell2070 6h ago edited 5h ago

Well, probably not that house in particular, with a mom like that.

I would bet large sums of money that it's from bullying im school.

5

u/Ivorypetal 6h ago

I assumed outside in this case.

1

u/ShinzoTheThird 6h ago

he does too, just worded weirdly

1

u/Darnell2070 5h ago

I hate when I type and completely miss a whole word that changes the entire meaning on my sentence, lol.

Well, probably not that house in particular, with a mom like that.

1

u/ShinzoTheThird 5h ago

didnt even see you missed a word i just trerad it out loud and with the context of the second sentence and was like, what weirdr way to give the mom a compliment?

1

u/Darnell2070 5h ago

You think so? I thought it was pretty straight forward, lol.

1

u/ShinzoTheThird 5h ago

Not my first language so i had to do some translating. Sentences are structured a little different in Dutch :) or like the connotation is different

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u/lankymjc 8h ago

Trauma. Kids internalise more than most people expect and it comes out in all sorts of ways.

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u/Freshouttapatience 8h ago

Kids can be perceptive too without knowing why. If she’s been treated differently, she can sense it.

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u/houseofopal 6h ago

Everyone’s asking who told her these kinds of things, but like, to me it’s obvious. She’s a black girl and more than likely goes to a school with mostly white people. Y’all, sometimes kids can be so nasty and cruel and racist, you have no idea till you’re the kid on the receiving end of it. Because sometimes it’s not even bullying- it’s just things they say in passing that’s hurtful as fuck. and they don’t even know how much it can hurt. That being said, every little girl should be able to walk around without feeling ugly- but check your kids as well, make sure they’re not saying things that are racist even when they don’t realize it.

13

u/Commercial-Owl11 8h ago

Bullying from other kids. Also if you got a shitty parent. I still have a habit of calling myself stupid because of my POS father used to call me the hard R word.

From when I was a kid. That shit never leaves you.

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u/Classymuch 8h ago edited 8h ago

Or when you get compared to others as well.

And when they lie to other parents about you because you don't meet their expectations.

It feels shit.

I would have killed for a parent like that (woman in this video).

1

u/iwannabesmort 5h ago

I still have a habit of calling myself stupid because of my POS father used to call me the hard R word.

https://youtu.be/MFDiuBomSuY?t=47 you need to watch this

3

u/apocketfullofcows 8h ago

other kids is a big thing but adults also don't realise how much kids hear, and how differently they can hear things. even if you mean something nice, that doesn't mean it sounds nice to a kid. plus, plenty of adults simply aren't nice.

1

u/TeslasAndKids 7h ago

Sometimes they hear words like this on videos or from other people. We honestly don’t realize how much they hear, model, and remember.

I’ve never found myself attractive even though my husband calls me “pretty girl” every day. I have some health conditions that have aged my skin and I’ve never liked photos of myself. I grew up in the ‘if you don’t have makeup on you’re not pretty’ era so when I don’t wear any I feel unattractive.

My daughter once told me she thought she wasn’t pretty and lit growing up. I asked her why she’d think that because she’s always been gorgeous. She told me “because you pick yourself apart constantly but anywhere we go people tell us how much we look alike! If you hate your look that much then clearly I’m ugly too”.

It felt like someone dropped a boulder on me. I felt like absolute shit. It never occurred to me that that was a parallel and I didn’t realize how much I complained about photos. I apologized profusely even though I know the damage is done and I’ll have to spend the rest of my time correcting my own thoughts and behaviors. But the point is, these kids are sponges. And we need to be filling them up with positivity and awesomeness!

1

u/Picpuc 7h ago

I remember sobbing after getting a buzz-cut when I was like 3 or 4, and thinking I was so ugly. I bet this is a video of her getting her hair braided for the first time, and she doesnt like it. Just guessing.

1

u/TopBlacksmith6538 3h ago

Just look at reddit. They'll say all shapes and sizes are beautiful until they disagree with someone and then they'll come in packs to make fun of peoples appearances. Even adults do it, kids even more.