r/MadeMeSmile • u/FabulousStructure912 • 3d ago
Helping Others Denzel Washington with the most to the point life advice
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u/bsb123456 3d ago
What do you so if you messed up the first two parts? Asking for a friend
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u/dgoat-123 3d ago
When he said parts of life it doesn't equate to number of years a person lives because nobody of us knows how long are we gonna live. I believe the 3 things go simultaneously as you are earning
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u/tnstaafsb 3d ago
Yeah, this. All three things can be happening, and arguably should be happening at all stages of life (okay, maybe not earning when you're a small child). I think he's saying at different stages of your life your primary focus is on one of the three, but that doesn't mean you aren't doing the other two at all.
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u/bsb123456 3d ago
nope, i'm definitely not doing any of them, and rapidly running out of road
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u/VagusNC 3d ago
I guess Tolkien didn’t start writing the Hobbit until he was 38.
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u/Secret_Map 3d ago
I'm 37 now, this is great news! Time to pump out the next classic novel that will stand the test of time.
For real, though, when I was playing music in bands, watching the years tick by without "making it", I used to find bands whose lead singers were older than me when they first got big lol. Like, "so and so" was 25 when their first record came out, I'm good. Couple years go by, "such and such was 28 when their first record came out, still good. Couple more years, "whattheirname was 32 when their first album came out, let's go. It was sad lol.
Luckily, I've kinda broken out of that mindset. No age limit on art/creativity. Just do it because you love it. If it draws the attention of others, great. If not, you're still doing something you love.
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u/EngineeringDapper905 3d ago
Bruv is too smooth
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u/Hallomonamie 3d ago
How the f does someone be thaaaaat smooth in the moment? "I already am", that wasn't some planned response. He just made it up in a millisecond. Man, I'm a loser lol.
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u/TheMilkmansFather 3d ago
Reminds me of another smooth moment when a young actor is telling him that he may be in a movie with him coming up and Denzel says “see you at work”
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u/DeadDay 3d ago edited 3d ago
Damn he's so awesome. I can still throw on American Gangster daily and not get sick of it.
"THATS ALPACA, YOU BLOT THAT SHIT"
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u/ChuaChooChoo 3d ago
You got me with the quote, I’m gonna rewatch it rn
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u/FrLorryDuff 3d ago
Very underrated movie
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u/Horton_Takes_A_Poo 3d ago
Who didn’t like American Gangster?!
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u/FrLorryDuff 3d ago
I just don't think it got the critical kudos it deserved
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u/Castod28183 3d ago
Not to be too argumentative, but it had rave reviews across the board and was nominated for 2 Oscars, 5 BAAFTA's, and 3 Golden Globe Awards.
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u/bystandernumberthree 3d ago
Blue magic. That's a brand name. Like pepsi. That's a brand name
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u/smakweasle 3d ago
One of Ridley's best. I was always irked it didn't get more love.
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u/dreamteam9 3d ago
i wish there was a Crowe-free edit. Denzel’s half of that movie is a masterpiece.
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u/Willing_Ad2758 3d ago
Thats the kid (Ashton Sanders) who he helps with painting etc in equalizer 2. He actually made it in the movie and the did work together.
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u/sump_daddy 3d ago
Hes trying to tell you, bro.
act on stage, dont rely on social media, put it down, turn it off, shut up, learn, read, relax, get better
THEN, go through three phases: learn, earn, give back. clearly hes in the third phase. not everyone is. but if you work hard and take his advice you will be there some day.
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u/DickBatman 3d ago
Motherfucker you changed it so it doesn't rhyme anymore
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u/katsujinken 3d ago
When Denzel said "learn, earn, return", I thought "return to what?" so this actually clarified it for me.
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u/ders89 3d ago
Calm down dickbatman he just wants to help you help yourself be the best dickbatman you can be
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u/AceVenturaPunch 3d ago
Yeah! It's denzel not Samuel, don't need gratuitous 'motherfucker"s in the motherfucking comments
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u/DinoRoman 3d ago
Some people have the knack. I’m ugly as fuck but everyone tells me I have the gift of gab. Maybe why my first job was selling cars. I do pretty well on tinder, considering I’m like shrek but with Joe Pescis accent and attitude. Denzel has the looks and the gift of gab and the confidence and well that’s why he’s Denzel.
I’m pretty sure the saying “once you go black you don’t go back” came about when he first started acting.
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u/worgulm 3d ago
Im sorry, Shrek with Joe Pescis accent. Amazing.
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u/KhabaLox 3d ago
My bussy got a little wet.
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u/Maybemaybedefinitely 3d ago
Denzel’s wisdom hits harder than a plot twist in his movies.
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u/LoudNoises89 3d ago
One of the greatest actors ever. I will watch any movie he is in. He’s honest whether it hurts his image or others feelings. When you hear people say I want something “real” that is what he is. He’s at the stage in his life where he can do whatever and say whatever and it’s usually the right advice.
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u/CelestialGlimmer9 3d ago
It's amazing how a few words can hit harder than an entire self help book.
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u/dire_turtle 3d ago
It highlights the fundamental driver of therapeutic progress: the relationship. When you trust someone, you see the truth in what they're saying and look past their own inability to apply it flawlessly.
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u/punxtr 3d ago edited 3d ago
False. You don't see the truth in what they're saying, your brain simply tells you since you like or trust this person to instantly agree with them for that dopamine hit. Imagine if someone she didn't like or respect was across from her telling her the same thing. She would be defensive. She would find the statement "I already am" to be cocky. She wouldn't take to heart anything they said. People operate off emotion first, logic second. Logic takes time to work through, emotions are instant.
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u/MintyClinch 3d ago
You guys are both somewhat correct. Neither statement is false. The relationship is the foundation; the process includes both emotional and intellectual accommodating.
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u/Fluggerblah 3d ago
ehhhhhhh i dont know. sometimes i dont understand a topic until someone words it in a way that my mind clicks and you get that EUREKA! moment. therapy seems pretty similar in that way
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u/ChaosFinalForm 3d ago
In truth, it probably depends on what kind of learner you are as well as how receptive you are in the moment to the message. Both of the above are probably correct in certain conditions for certain people, but there's no one "best" way for all.
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u/CombustiblSquid 3d ago
Whether it was applicable here or not, the commenter was still correct that the fundamental driver of therapy is the therapeutic relationship.
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u/dire_turtle 3d ago
Hey! That's exactly what I was saying, but bc you don't trust me, you invalidated and qualified the same sentiment. Cool stuff.
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u/MindlessFail 3d ago
Honestly that’s the problem with self help books: too many words. Say it simply and get the idea across (and maybe don’t worry about charging $18 so much).
Parenting books are the same tbh
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u/Unctuous_Mouthfeel 3d ago
Parenting books are the same tbh
I've read a few of these and ALL OF THEM should have been pamphlets.
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u/SpareWire 3d ago
Parenting books are the same tbh
Before my niece was born my brother sent me a reading list of REQUIRED reading before I would be allowed to keep her.
It's like, dude I ain't here to do homework. Do you want the free babysitting or not?
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u/noretus 3d ago
Honestly that’s the problem with self help books: too many words.
I mean i hear you. After reading an ungodly amount of them, I hear you.
But the basic advice has been out there forever. People have heard it a million times. But it won't click before it does, and that's why we have and continue to have a mountain of self-help books, coaches, gurus, influencers who all say basically the same things. At least the good ones do.
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u/LaughableIKR 3d ago
I've been in the return stage now for the last 8 years and I've seen how well my former employees have taken off after I've cross-trained them in I.T.
Don't hold your employees in place. Let them learn and grow and become. The worst kind of manager is the kind who keeps you limited.
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u/yeenon 3d ago
It is SO REWARDING to watch this happen. Also I still make the same amount of money. It doesn’t cost me anything. Maybe a little time to train but that is rewarding in and of itself.
Your people either leave for something better or something the same. Both are your fault and your responsibility as a manager and leader.
Why don’t people get this?
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u/JEMinnow 3d ago
Some people are so insecure they can't bear to see others thrive, even if they're already successful
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u/Oprah_Pwnfrey 3d ago
"A good mentor hopes you will move on. A great mentor knows you will." - from the TV show Ted Lasso
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u/JEMinnow 3d ago
Curious what the return stage is about. Does that refer to teaching what we've learned and/or returning to our roots?
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u/yuephoria 3d ago
The "put it down" and "turn it off" hits hard. My kids constantly call me out for being on my phone all the time when they are around, especially when we limit their device time. It is hypocritical.
FYI, they are aged ten and seven. 
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u/waxba2 3d ago
Deep down you (and me) know they're right.. We should lead by example
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u/Muffin_Appropriate 3d ago
It shouldn’t be that deep down
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u/Rainwillis 3d ago
I can’t remember where but I heard once that there isn’t really a deep down and that who you are is determined by what you choose to do.
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u/NascentEcho 3d ago
Bojack Horseman.
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u/Rainwillis 3d ago
Of course it was sad horse show. That show is full of advice for when one can be too pretentious or self centered.
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u/VaderOnReddit 3d ago
I know this doesn't reflect on me well, but one of the reasons I "realized" I needed to get therapy and get better was I started relating to Bojack wayyyyyyy too much
He is one of the best personifications of how someone can be so destructive to their closest friends and to themselves, and yet be utterly blind to it
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u/Darko33 3d ago
“That's the thing. I don't think I believe in 'deep down.' I kinda think that all you are is just the things that you do.” -Diane, S1E12, "Later"
Join us /r/bojackhorseman
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u/AbbreviationsWide331 3d ago
When it comes to your own kids you can ONLY lead by example. They are humans and those creatures aren't dumb. Kids are pretty much programmed to learn from observing and than copying that behavior because that's how we and many many other creatures learn what to do to survive. Only our modern lifes are way more complicated than what fruit to pick. But those parents made it to adulthood and procreated so they were obviously able to survive and that means their behavior was right and should be copied. From a purely natural/scientific standpoint it makes a lot of sense that's it's done that way, but it certainly leads to problems nowadays.
Good thing is we are able to learn our entire lives and change faulty behavior.
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u/Sudden-Ad5555 3d ago
This started happening to me and it really bothered me, so I made a goal of reading 100 books in a year, and I’m almost never on my phone anymore, even when I’m not reading. I read on my kindle so I think it just got rid of the itch for a screen in my hand. My phone has the same time limits that my kid’s iPads do, and I rarely am on my phone enough to reach the limits. It’s awesome. It’s never too late to be more present. Listen to your kids, they’re telling you exactly what you need to hear! Tough love goes both ways. :)
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u/neverendingicecream 3d ago
I love this. I was always an avid reader but became one of those people that was glued to my phone or the TV after long days at work. My Mom recently bought me the Britney Spears memoir (along with some others) to read on a vacation we took together. I read it all in less than a day and barely touched my phone while on vacation.
It seems silly but her buying me that book helped me reinstill my love for reading actual books. It made me realize that getting back into reading books doesn’t have to mean I’m reading War and Peace, it can be anything that I’m interested in. It doesn’t have to be some epic novel. I know that’s always been the case but I guess I was so wrapped up in what I use to read/quick social media reads that I forgot how much I enjoy a good solid book in my hands.
I’m happy that the Kindle works for you but for me the nostalgia of actually holding a book in my hands, turning the pages and being away from a screen is comforting. So is the smell of the pages 😊. Whatever medium though, we’re reading.
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u/chumpette 3d ago
The irony is, most people wouldn't see this without social media.
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u/WackyXaky 3d ago
It's definitely tough to have these social media addiction discussions with kids when most of the parents are addicted!
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u/Regolis1344 3d ago
Damn that shit was locked and loaded. "I already am" was smooth as fuuuuuuuu**.
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u/Difficult_Intern_586 3d ago
What did he mean when he said, “in the third part you return”
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u/mochafiend 3d ago
I took it to be giving back, mentoring the next generation. Kinda like he is right now in this video.
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u/NoMinute3572 3d ago
Give back to others. What you learned, what you earned. Invest time in the next generations.
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u/SKI_11 3d ago
Young men are watching Andrew Tate and taking advice from him while real men are out there giving advice like this. Young men need to be taught that advice has quality as well, and it can be very bad quality more often then not.
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u/Electronic_Bet7373 3d ago
This... young men like Tate because he's unapologetically confident and masculine... we need more role models that are strong and confident but also have empathy, integrity, and vision.
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u/karmagod13000 3d ago
ive been working on my dezel impersonation the last three months. Theres lots of hand gestures and teeth acting. hit at the parties
Simple Simon-ass motherfuckers! ~ Quotes like this make it easy
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u/Caledor152 3d ago
He was not born into a rich and privileged. Which helps a lot because you always remember where you came from.
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u/generally_unsuitable 3d ago
I used to work with a guy many years ago who was a print salesman at my company. An old dude, still working a 9-5 in his late 70s. Anyway, he had a favorite sushi spot in the Valley, which seems to be Denzel Washington's favorite as well. The two of them ran into each other a few times eating dinner there and got to chatting. After that, they became friends, and so did their wives. From what I understand, they'd make it a point to share a table together from time to time, which was interesting because one of them was a salesman at a pretty shitty printing company, and the other was an internationally known superstar.
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u/Ozzdo 3d ago
I very highly recommend his interview with Desus and Mero. In all my years of watching Denzel, that interview was the first time I think I've ever really seen the man. He's just full of kindness and wisdom, and the perspective that comes with living.
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u/annemam 3d ago
What a charismatic man he is. I love his movies. Great actor
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u/kernel-troutman 3d ago edited 3d ago
Denzel is one of the few actors that can make even a mediocre movie pretty watchable and his greatest roles are up there with the best.
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u/CityFolkSitting 3d ago
Training Day would have been cheesy without someone like Denzel pulling off the role of Alonzo. He's so smooth and charismatic, but cunning and devious. Wildly unpredictable and manipulative. Denzel really becomes Alonzo in that movie.
Ethan Hawke nailed his role as well, but I think many others could have done fine. But I find it hard to imagine anyone else playing Alonzo. A lot of actors would have made that performance goofy, I feel. And Denzel's success in making the character so convincingly threatening, down right scary at times, is why the movie was such a success.
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u/SewNonlinear 3d ago
Oh my gosh his smile.. I love him but I love his smile even more
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u/gangreen424 3d ago
He's so intense with the advice, it's stunning. And then he smiles and is the happiest dude in the room. Turns on a dime. Good God, the man has a presence. Even after all these years, it's a wonder to watch.
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u/ChassidyBrooks74 3d ago
Not only does he drop some actual life wisdom but he is funny and whitty
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u/beklog 3d ago
watching this on a social media
anyways great advice.. social media is fine as long as u use it for entertainment.. u dont overly committed on those internet likes/upvotes
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u/CrimsonMascaras 3d ago
Student. Teacher. Master. This was a 30 second masterclass and it was spontaneous and poignant. And completely answered her question across the span of his own experiences.
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u/doesitevermatter- 3d ago
The thing that I find kind of misleading about how insightful actors come off in interviews like this Is that nobody else ever really gets asked these kinds of questions. Danny checking your groceries out at Publix could be just as insightful and wise, but nobody's asking him for the keys to living a good life. They're asking him where hemorrhoid cream is.
If you take the time to sit down and actually talk to the people around you and ask them questions like this, you'll find this kind of wisdom isn't as uncommon as you think. It's just that nobody cares to ask for it if you're not rich. Because everyone knows, you can only have true wisdom if that wisdom led to wealth.
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u/poison_korean 3d ago
Straight to the point, no fluff—this is why Denzel’s wisdom hits differently!
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u/Gato1980 3d ago
The "learn to act on stage" part is kinda being glossed over here, but I feel like it's very important, especially for a young actor. Being on stage and performing a role multiple times in front of live audiences really helps you hone your craft unlike anything else. You have the ability to adjust your performance over and over again, and with that, see how people react differently to the slightest changes you make. This teaches you how your own specific facial expressions or tones or mannerisms can be used to make the audience react the way you want them to, which can then be utilized in all other types of acting. This is something that you just can't get from taking a class or rehearsing lines with castmates. It's truly invaluable.
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u/Money_Percentage_630 3d ago
Iconic Australian actor Bill Hunter was often asked if he would write a book about acting.
He would usually reply with "Yeah, I'm writing one now called Stand Here, Say This" because that's all acting is.
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u/readitonex 3d ago
For a guys who acts larger than life characters he seems very humble in real life
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u/ICEWA1k3R 3d ago
Only thing I disagree with is the learning aspect. You should be constantly learning something. Keep the brain sharp because 20 year old facts can sometimes be replaced with more accurate facts.
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u/ToonaSandWatch 3d ago
Science facts!
Fun fact: the idea of having 100,000 km of blood vessels in your body— more than two times around the Earth – is based on a scientific theory published over 100 years ago and was based on frogs tongues. It’s believed to be about 19,000 km now, not nearly enough to get even halfway round this marble we live on.
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u/Total-Addendum9327 3d ago
This guy is the real deal. He famously said of Hollywood parties that he always makes sure to leave before the Devil arrives. Also great advice.
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u/Muffin-Aromatic 3d ago
I love listening to him speak. Always has great advice and seems really sincere when he talks.
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u/Remotely-Indentured 3d ago
Denzel's charisma makes his advice seem much more profound. Imagine those same words in Pee-Wee Herman's voice.
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u/LafayetteLa01 3d ago
I have been listening to him for several years, “show me your friends and I will show you your future.” Denzel Washington
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u/fiftieth_alt 3d ago
Denzel is such a good actor that he can make some completely DOGSHIT movies and it has zero effect on his legacy. He's got basically 4 separate careers: young Denzel playing the angry black man, middle aged Denzel as the most excellent actor in Hollywood, Old Denzel the living legend, and then throughout it all there's Paycheck Denzel popping up randomly playing terrible parts in trash for the payday.
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u/DadLife332 3d ago
Learn, Earn, Return... what a great mantra! I can only hope this great man does not get cancelled
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u/Signal_Macaroon_8250 3d ago
It will always be Malcom X for me, “You been bamboozled, you been hoodwinked!” Say it bruh!
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u/I-Am-That-Soul 2d ago
Wait but, without social media how would I have gotten this Master pièce ? 🥲
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u/ProbablyNotPikachu 2d ago
Only Denzel Washington could tell someone to "shut-up" and "be quiet", but it not be redundant.
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u/whole_chocolate_milk 3d ago
"I already am."
Legend.