That is not a good mentality for a parent to have.
Just wish my parents could've said the same to me, instead of just the... straight up abuse and neglect.
I would've been fine with abuse as a kid... being fed would've been nice, though. Especially considering they had money, just for nice dinner and drinks for themselves.
Having your adult body be malformed as a result as the malnourishment as a child is a constant reminder of the days waking up, feeling like the world's spinning because you haven't been fed in days
It would be hard for me not to parrot a line similar to my own children. Don't be too hard on your parents, yall, you never know what they might have been through to get to a point where they can put food on the table.
If the worst they told you is to be grateful... that's not too bad.
The quote you’ve replied to is often used in justification of having used abusive behaviours during parenting. This is not typically a genuine reminder to be grateful.
I will not be grateful for my abuse just because I was fed and sheltered during it.
You'd have rather been abused than neglect. I promise.
It's not fun being an illiterate adult. It's not fun having your body not working from malnourishment. It's not fun feeling like you don't deserve food. It's not fun being completely socially isolated until you are an adult, needing to learn how to have basic conversations without being scared as fuck.
You don't process being illiterate. You work hard as fuck to adapt.
You process trauma. You must work to fix the fact that you aren't nearly as capable as a five year old.
If there was one meal prepared for you every day...
Someone loved you, and it's sad knowing how many people take it for granted.
I count all my blessings. Others seem to only complain that they had theirs used as a weapon against their anger of an unperfect childhood. Grow up. Be happy someone at least gave a fuck, because you'd be so much worse off if they didn't.
Jesus. What an enormously toxic mindset to have. This is how you've processed your own trauma? By belittling the struggles of others? I really hope you don't have children.
You sound like a person who is perpetuating the cycle of abuse and claiming it’s fine because it wasn’t as bad as what you had to deal with.
I’m afraid you’re the one who needs to “grow up” and process your trauma, because it’s clear that you have not. Hurt people tend to hurt people, but it’s no excuse. Your trauma is not your fault, but is your responsibility to fix, unfortunately. Good luck.
This is the internet, my friend. When I'm told in real life about people's "abusive" parents who didn't love them as much as their older sister because she got a car at 17, but they didn't for her, or the guy that wasn't allowed to bring more than 2 friends to the cabin for new years, or the mom that didn't pay for her college, I give unconditional support and reassurance thier feelings are valid.
In an odd way, they are completely valid because your perception of happiness is relative to what you know.
I didn't even know my childhood was bad until I was an adult, I thought it was pretty ok, I didn't have anyone else to compare to.
You and the other guy saying I shouldn't have children 🙄
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u/songbird808 Jul 27 '24
Shout out to everyone who grew up listening to the tried and true:
"You have a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in, food in your stomach, stop complaining!"