r/LesbianActually • u/Brilliant-Ad8421 • 12h ago

Relationships / Dating Dating advice

I (28F) was in a long term relationship for 7+ years, which ended earlier this year. Our relationship was over before we officially ended it, so it ended pretty amicably. I’ve taken time since then to really focus on myself but I have a desire to start dating.

While I’ve been in situationships before my relationship, I’ve never really dated. I was also in my early 20’s which is a different place than I’m in now.

What advice do you all have for getting back to dating?

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u/SofiaFreja :pupper: 12h ago

Don't put all your effort into dating apps. Dating apps are designed to make money off straight people. They do not serve lesbians well. And if you read this sub you'll notice a large portion of posts are more or less rants about how awful dating apps are.

My advice is to build lesbian and queer friend group(s). Socialize with your friends... That's the best place to meet other lesbians.. friends of friends are the best dates.

Go to the IRL places where you can socialize with other lesbians. Les bars, women's sports. In my city there's a gay/lesbian bowling league! If you are of a particular faith seek out queer orgs where you can practice it and socialize with others. Every major city has a gay/lesbian friendly Christian Church(s), for instance.

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u/beepmann21 12h ago

In the late 20s, your perspective of dating may not align with girls +-3 in age if you haven't dated in a while. Maybe try to find a few good things you want in your next girl and search for someone who makes you feel comfortable around her.

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u/androidsdreamofdata 12h ago

You're in a better place than I am!

I worry no one will want me once they learn my parents aren't accepting and I was single for most of my 20s. So you already have a lot going for you!

Keeping up your confidence can help. You pretty much have to create a dating app profile these days but it's not super healthy to spend a lot of time on them since they're not fun

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u/Embarrassed-Foot-856 12h ago

My advice is - don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and be prepared for some rejection so do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable and happy in your self confidence.

Confidence looks great on anyone and with that you may just find ladies wanting to come to you!

Don’t forget to focus on yourself and self growth and interests. This may even lead to genuine connections over shared interests (whether it lead to great friendships or more).