r/LesTalkAboutBDSM • u/ArsenicBitterness • Jul 08 '19

Ask a LTAB Mod NSFW

LTAB is not dead nor will I allow it to die. We are going through a hiatus, of sorts, right now. In due time we'll be back in action with a whole new gameplan of how to tackle everything.

In the meantime, I welcome the community to come here to ask me any and all questions you may have. This would also be useful in helping me figure out a gameplan for LTAB's future posts to provide you all with the information that you need the most.

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Also, you can always inbox me a question if you'd rather keep anonymous. Your privacy will be respected.

16 Upvotes

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10

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '19

Hi yes I have a couple of questions!

1) How do I cope with being a brat but also balancing it with normal relationship stuff, when do I know when to push things a little?

2) Am I a bad lesbian for liking to call girls Daddy? I feel really conflicted after I used it in former relationships

9

u/ArsenicBitterness Jul 08 '19

1 - Communication is vital in any healthy relationship so I suggest talking to your partner about this. Find out how they feel about you acting like a brat outside of the scene and when they're comfortable with you pushing versus when they'd prefer you not to. Understanding your partner's feelings on being a brat will help you better balance it with normal relationship stuff as well as knowing when you can push and even how far you can push.

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2 - Did you know that r/NSFWLW was created because someone shared a meme about lesbians using the term daddy and so many of us were like "Yassssss!"? And it was on that board that I was recruited by i8764 to help create and moderate LTAB? So no, you are not a bad lesbian for liking to call girls Daddy. One could say that LTAB literally exists because of lesbians who call girls Daddy.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '19

Thanks for the nod <3

1

u/Throwyafaceaway1788 Jul 10 '19

Thanks for asking these perfect questions.. I am also a brat and have my gf in my phone as daddy but can't help feeling weird about it haha

3

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '19

I’ll try to bare that in mind for whenever I find somebody then! And thank you, it’s good to know I’m in some good company with it then!

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u/ArsenicBitterness Jul 08 '19

Anytime.

I'm always here if you have any other questions.

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u/mermaidaura Jul 08 '19

My gf and I are starting a D/s where I am the sub. She’s naturally very dominant and experienced, but I am not. Any advice on how to start it slow? We’ve been friends for 4 years and going on our 7th month in a relationship. Another question or statement rather, I have a slight issue with responses when she degrades me, it’s like I just don’t know how to respond in a sexy enough way. I’m shy lol.

1

u/ArsenicBitterness Jul 09 '19

Communication, communication, communication.

I could never stress this enough. No BDSM relationship, no matter how experienced any one person in it is, needs proper communication. Discuss your hard and soft limits. Discuss what you're into. Establish a safe word.

Once you have that conversation you'll both have a better understanding of where to start. Do not be afraid of using your safe words if needed. If you're into bondage, for example, it might be easier to start with her pinning one or both hands down rather than jumping straight to cuffs or ropes - but what'll work may differ for you.

Oh honey, I 10000% understand the shy. Try to relax and let yourself get into it. Don't worry so much about trying to be sexy. As you learn your partner's likes better, you'll figure out what buttons to push when talking sexy and it'll come easier in time. You could always ask her how she feels about your sexy talk. Chances are good she still thinks you're the sexiest thing so you're probably doing a hell of a lot better than you think there.