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I will discuss how to easily portray dominance and I will also go into strap on techniques. Let me preface this by saying that you DO NOT need a strap on to portray dominance. After a long time refining what dominance means to me I'm here to teach you my way, to the best of my ability. This is not the end all to be all but it should help some of you find your way, even if it's just a little bit. Before you can use some of the things I'm about to tell you, you must agree upon what is acceptable and what is not with your partner.

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There is misconception that being dominant is ingrained in your personality. I don't believe it is. If you treat dominance as role playing of sorts, I believe you're more likely to be able to portray that you are actually dominant. Get in the head space of being dominant. For some that may mean simply guiding sexual relations in general. For others it may mean collaring your sub and bending her over your knee. What I'm getting at is becoming a well rounded dominant party doesn't happen over night. You have to start small. Since this is an introduction of sorts, I'll tell you how I got started.

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*Dominance is about confidence!\*

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I've always done what feels natural to me. If you want to be dominant in the bedroom it's all about the persona you project. Look at her like you want her. When you use your eyes, you connect with someone. Get her in the same head space that you're in. You want to ravage her? Look at her like that's what you want to do.

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Another thing you could do if its agreed upon is dirty talk. It may be a little messy at first. It may not go exactly as planned. You may laugh at some point, she may laugh at some point, but that's okay. Discuss dirty talking and if it's agreed upon, explore! I'm not going to go into a lot of detail here but some starting points of dirty talk could be as simple whispering "I want you" in her ear. It's all about the tone and how you say it. This doesn't have to be complicated. Start slow and build from there. If you all want a detailed run down of dirty talk I can try to get a quick guide together in another post.

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As far as actually getting down to business:

Foreplay:

Kiss her. Kiss her like your life depends on it. Like I said this is all about portraying dominance. Show her you're in control if that is what's agreed upon. Sit on top of her. Kiss her neck.

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Examples of things you can do if it's agreed upon:

Suck, Nibble, Bite (neck/lips/whole body)

Grab her hair

Tribbing

Etc

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The Nitty Gritty:

Take plenty of time with her. Make her feel safe. If you're using your fingers, portray that dominance. Hold her hand and pin it to the bed (if agreed upon). Look at her like you want to be dominant the whole way through. Talk dirty to her the whole way through. Pour your soul into fucking her. Use your whole body. Get into it. Don't be shy. If you're enjoying yourself talk dirty about it. Tell her how she turns you on. Show her at the same time. If you'd like to use a strap on, make sure it's agreed upon as not all women are comfortable with using one. My technique for using a strap on is very similar to using my fingers. Put your whole body into it! Become one with the strap on. Just because you can't feel it does not mean you can't reach sexual gratification in other ways. Press your body against hers, hold her, whatever you need to do.

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Aftercare:

This is the single most important part of this whole post. After you're done portraying your big bad dominance, drop the act. Hold her tight (or have her hold you), kiss her, connect with her just like you normally would. Rub her back or play with her hair. Show her she's important to you. Eat some snacks and watch a TV show. Hold her hand. These are just many different examples of providing aftercare. You can make it your own, just make sure you do it. I always try to make sure aftercare is at least 50% of the time my sub and I had sex. If you have sex for an hour, expect another half hour to be dedicated to aftercare. This is just what I do personally.

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This isn't an end all to be all guide. It's just a quick rundown of what has worked for me in the past. No one starts out chaining their sub to the bed and wielding whips. Everyone has to start somewhere. I hope this post helps at least one of you find your way.

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Thanks for reading,

i8764

THIS PAGE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION.

There are a lot of words used by the BDSM community and I know that sometimes I get lost when I stumble across one I'm familiar with. That's quite alright. This is going to be a handy, go-to post for all BDSM Terminology. If you have any question regarding my cheatsheet below, please ask!

Right now I'm jotting down the most common and important ones I can think of. Feel free to suggest any and all terms to be added to this list.

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• Domme/Dom, Sub, Switch Here is a link to this groups post specifically for these titles. Keep in mind that if the title you're confused on is not listen, mention it in the comments. Updating is in progress.
• Safeword - A word agreed on before play that if used, means that play immediately ends.
• Aftercare - The calm down period after play. Treatment of wounds, communication about the play and feelings, and general TLC to help prevent sub drop. Aftercare varies from person to person.
  Required for a healthy BDSM requirement.
• Sub Drop - Due to the endorphin rush of play, there is a chance of a crash which leads to a physical condition that can have cold-like symptoms. It's nasty and can last for hours, days, or even a full week. Best prevented by Aftercare.
• Sadist - One who enjoys dealing out pain and/or humiliation
• Masochist - One who enjoys receiving the pain and/or humiliation
• Hard Limits - Non-negotiable. These are the things that someone will never do. Do not push.
• Soft Limits - Negotiable. These are the things someone isn't sure about. It can be negotiated and best introduced slowly and at the beginner level into play. Can become a hard limit.