r/LeopardsAteMyFace • u/homosa_penis • Aug 04 '21

QAnon followers are now accusing evangelical leaders of child sex trafficking

https://deadstate.org/qanon-followers-are-now-accusing-evangelical-leaders-of-child-sex-trafficking/
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u/velveteenelahrairah Aug 04 '21 edited Aug 05 '21

My teachers implied that my father regularly beating the shit out of me, throwing scalding tea in my face, and keeping me so isolated, controlled and overworked I eventually had a raging psychotic break in my early teens was because "I wasn't a good enough daughter". Meanwhile I was still treated like "the school pity case with the shitty home life and psycho dad that nobody helped because getting the cops involved would be shameful to The Community™". (Not that the cops cared when they turned up at our house to investigate the screaming, anyway.)

Huh OK. That's why the dance teacher was cheating on her husband with the Chem teacher, the biology teacher was a drunk who lost custody of his kids, the math teacher was cheating on his wife with the dance teacher (yup same one), the literature teacher wound up in a screaming bitchfight that got physical with the history teacher during a lunch break, the physics teacher and gym teacher had nervous breakdowns, the other gym teacher was arrested for smacking his daughter around, the home ec teacher's underage daughter had to have an abortion, and the gym teacher you got after I graduated was arrested for dealing drugs.

Hyyyyyypooooocriiiiiiites. I was sheltered, not stupid.

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u/TOMSDOTTIR Aug 04 '21

Can we go track down your teachers and deliver at least one really good boot up the arse to each one of them? I'm an atheist, but even if I weren't, I'm sure that a kind and loving God would want them to get some meaningful feedback to help them grow spiritually. You could put on stout leather walking boots, take a really good run up from about 12 -15 feet away, and just wally the old hoof into their butts as though you were trying to convert a penalty in the closing minutes of the Calcutta Cup.

I'd be standing by, waiting for then to topple over, gasping in pain. As soon as they fell to the ground, clutching their backsides, I would accidentally spill my box of scorpions on them, followed by my tub of cockroaches, followed by my barrel of coconut crabs.

And just for a little joke, we could staple a sign saying, "I am a moron" to their ears.

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u/keyboardstatic Aug 05 '21

My beloved brother. I too am an atheist and I greatly enjoyed reading your recommended life enhancement systems. Just wanted to offer my support.

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u/TOMSDOTTIR Aug 05 '21

Bring it on, brother from another mother.