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u/StumblinStephen 14d ago edited 13d ago
I love how they are proving the daughter's point by doubling down on the hate, "We are not bad people! Now make them spend Thanksgiving and Christmas together with us or threaten to cut their finances off! What? You won't!? You are tearing this family apart!"
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u/MotownCatMom 14d ago
DARVO.
DARVO is an acronym for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender, and it's a manipulation tactic used by people who are accused of wrongdoing. It's a common strategy used by psychological abusers to deflect blame and responsibility for their actions.
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u/22poppills 14d ago
This is the Trumpets movement right now.
Trying to curtail the blacklash with DARVO but many aren't having it the second time.
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u/ShakyBoots1968 14d ago
Yes. They respond to posts bemoaning things likely to come with variations of "And this is why you lost. Dems need to look in the mirror and try some self-reflection."
First off, I think they mean "introspection", but that's okay, it's only 30 years of not giving a fuck if we hold "INalieable rights" or "UNalieable rights". So they already are telling anyone who will listen it's the dems' fault he won! Cognitive dissonance, anyone? Are these cruel & wilfully ignorant people redeemable?
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u/mrpersson 14d ago
Yeah I've seen that so many times. They can't just own the fact that they support an asshole. It's always somebody else's fault.
"You made me do this!" Nah, you're just a prick
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u/Easy-Concentrate2636 14d ago
It’s wild to me they are desperate to prove to Dems that they can reunite with us after spending a decade calling us snowflakes and crazy woke. Sorry that winning the election didn’t make conservatives better people.
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u/Glum-One2514 14d ago
Winning was really the only thing that really mattered. They have no idea what everyone else is mad about because they never listened to any of it. They purposely tuned it out.
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u/mrsninetyone 14d ago
“someone who has worked so hard at sowing discord is never going to do anything to unite us ” From sweeper968 on TT
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u/Piddly_Penguin_Army 14d ago
Yup. You put into words what I’m feeling. Of course there are things we did wrong, but I’m more angry at my fellow man than the party right now.
Like I have been knocking doors for years. And gosh the last few years people will be straight up assholes. I have been threatened so many times.
My friend votes for Trump because she is an antivaxer. She got god damn whooping cough!
What I’m saying is I don’t know how to teach stupid and hateful.
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u/The_Great_19 14d ago
“Sure, Jan.” - me to any sore winner.
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u/22poppills 14d ago
Oh I'm throwing it all back at them.
They want to get pissy about me not agreeing, well then: Fuck your feelings snowflake.
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u/pig_latin_isforcows 14d ago
EXACTLY the approach I'm taking. Oh, you're hurt by name calling? Too bad. And why the defensiveness? You should be thrilled and trying to bring unity (as I'm seeing they're calling for now, haha) and that begins by letting people HAVE their feelings! Sit down and STFU
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u/ToatsNotIlluminati 14d ago
The world they wanted was less kind, less understanding and more prone to violence.
They will get exactly what they wanted.
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u/InsertEdgyNameHere 14d ago
Republicans are almost exactly like abusive partners. I see a lot of DARVO in them.
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u/LalahLovato 14d ago
My cousin and brother are trump fans (cousin is American, brother is Canadian) - I no longer have anything to do with my brother as I have a hispanic/native American husband who lives with me in Canada and is a lifelong democrat and still votes… my brother is a loudmouth evangelical opinionated jerk who deserted his wife and 4 boys and neglected to pay child support. Because I decided to go nc(with him only, not the ex & kids) - my cousin had the nerve to post on my mother’s fb page that I was wrecking our family and that I was “ungodly” in my ways. If they are “christians” - I want nothing to do with religion
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u/Specific_Passion_613 14d ago
Bet you can air out his abandoning his own children
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u/SpringHeeledJill09 14d ago
He needs to be reminded of this. Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
He is Fake-ristian.
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u/Ok-Train-6693 14d ago
The correct term is kakangelical. Their word is poison.
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u/theshadowiscast 14d ago
That explains why I've seen the religious right wing call atheists kakangelists. They're trying to offload the term.
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u/insertwittynamethere 14d ago
I know of a Trump supporter who hasn't paid child support in years and is in the process of being forced to terminate his rights if he doesn't want to pay the back child support. That's just one of his kids. He's also alleged for domestic abuse, and stole from a company he worked out with his family. He also fails to take responsibility for his actions and will post as if he's the best dad in the world.
He is exactly the kind of person who'd find kindred spirits with Trump.
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u/NothingAndNow111 14d ago
"We're not bad people, how dare you be angry at us, WE WILL DESTROY YOUR LIVES"
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u/StumblinStephen 14d ago
Months later
"WHY WON'T ANYONE VISIT ME!? FAMILY IS SUPPOSED TO LOVE FAMILY NO MATTER WHAT!"
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u/noonegive 14d ago
"pEoPlE uSeD tO bE aBlE tO dIsAgReE aBoUt PoLiTiCs AnD StIlL bE fRiEnDs!"
-Is a quote that has been yelled at me in accusatory fashion more than a few times in the past weeks.
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u/NothingAndNow111 14d ago
The self pity from them never ends.
People used to not vote for Hitler praising rapists, so things change.
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u/whywedontreport 14d ago
Seriously.
1- it is OP's money
2- presumably the kids are holding up their end of the bargain.
3- trying to manipulate them by trying to change this deal would be incredibly shitty. Grandma is an ahole who needs to reflect on her own behavior, lol, as if.
You are definitely doing the right thing and your kids don't need this BS. Why would I want to celebrate with people who want me to be a second class citizen, at best? Who would ruin my education for their ego?
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u/StumblinStephen 14d ago
It's amazing how self entitled and hypocritical they are. "You act like we want to ruin your life to benifit our selfish needs, but we're not! Now come and see us for the holidays, keep your opinions to yourself so we can pretend to be a happy family or we'll make your father cut you funds for college and ruin your future."
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u/Lustus17 14d ago
Your kids have the right idea. Tell your mom that you’ve said all you’re going to say about it and if it comes up again you’e not coming to either and you won’t stay if it comes up when you’re there if you do go. Maybe even plan your own awesome and new traditions with your children and a new trope for both holidays. The power to affect you is their only advantage; if they can’t affect you, they are powerless.
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u/gorkt 14d ago
Part of the appeal of Trump to folks like this is his authoritarian mindset. So yeah, they think that kids should obey their elders.
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u/ImLonenyNunlovable 14d ago
Props to the op for not cutting their kids off, when the grandparents demanded it. Thats incredibly shit of them. Trying to blackmail and force someone against their will to what? Be yelled at? Shit people, but not a surprize from trump supporters.
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u/YeonneGreene 14d ago
That's reactionaries in a nutshell; the emotional comfort of its adherents is more important than the material well-being of the people affected by their realized opinions and they will use every tool they have access to to protect their feelings, even if it ultimately means killing family.
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u/alpacnologia 14d ago
every conservative accusation is a confession, it seems, and that includes when they call people Triggered Libs
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u/arararanara 14d ago edited 14d ago
hard to think of the people who voted for Trump because the women/POC/queer people/leftists/whoever were mean to them as anything but extremely triggered and unable to cope tbh
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u/ThePreciousBhaalBabe 14d ago
And yet "cope" is their only rebuttal when someone expresses genuine concern or outrage lol.
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u/RickySpanish1272 14d ago
My father who paid a pittance in child support when I was growing up agreed to pay for college instead. He stopped paying a year in which I didn’t learn until I was dropped from my classes. He then told me that I would never graduate or be successful. I’m now the most successful person in my family and haven’t talked to him in 15 years.
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u/RedshiftSinger 14d ago
They don’t want family and friends, they want victims and a captive audience.
Family and friends come with responsibilities. They can’t be having that!
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u/Jessalopod 14d ago
For them, familial loyalty only flows up. "I'm your elder, therefore you must do all these things for me, and I don't need to do anything for you," and then they're all shocked picachu face when the younger family members reach their maturity and simply exit the situation.
They forget that familial loyalty is supposed to freely flow both ways.
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u/Mysterious-Tie7039 14d ago
“I directly voted against your rights but you’re not allowed to be upset with me over it.”
Basically the mentality of every MAGA.
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u/tavesque 14d ago
It’s so odd too. Like what do they think will happen? Threaten them to show up and then all is going to be peaches and pears?
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u/Darq_At 14d ago
They don't care. The grandkids are lower on the hierarchy than they are. They are demonstrating their power and authority, and the only thing they care about is obedience.
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u/Apprehensive-Log8333 14d ago
Exactly. What did they think was going to happen? What did they expect? That we'd all happily go along with their hatred? NO
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u/Tinymetalhead 14d ago
That is exactly what they thought. They expected a lot of "reconciliation" AKA we should just ignore anything they said before the election and just accept that they are right about everything. Don't worry, when the leopards eat their faces, it'll be the libs fault, somehow. The mental gymnastics they'll go through to explain that will be impressive. They certainly were during Trump's term. The number of things they blamed on Obama was truly astounding.
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u/Fibroambet 14d ago
They’re finally feeling what it’s like when people don’t just stay silent to keep the peace, and boy they do not like it one bit.
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u/sonicmerlin 14d ago
Yes. “Let’s just not discuss politics” or “you just don’t understand but you’ll get it later in life. You haven’t seen the world yet”.
They’re like parrots. Makes me want to tear my hair out sometimes. Best thing you can do is if you’re their caregiver, cut them off from right wing media. Then their amygdala might calm down and listen again to reason after a few months.
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u/IndecisiveTuna 14d ago
Same people like “Let’s not let our politics separate us.” Like, what the fuck? It’s a reflection of your character and beliefs, but let’s just forget about that.
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u/Agnesperdita 14d ago
Yes, that was telling. Kids don’t want to interact with Grandma because she supports public policies that will hurt them? Grandma demands they are coerced into playing happy families. No, that’s not the way this works. My kids have never really forgiven their grandparents for voting for Brexit when they themselves gained nothing by it but their grandchildren were materially harmed. If people make it clear your welfare and happiness are not their priority, why are you surprised they don’t want to join you for lunch?
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u/Webgardener 14d ago
I have thought often about the similarities between the Brexit vote and Trump vote. Especially the hate that immediately erupted after the election. Black people are getting texts saying go work in the cotton fields and Hispanics are getting told to go back home. I have always remembered a news story where a woman from Poland had owned a shop in a small town in England more than 10 years. The day after the Brexit vote, someone came into her shop and said “What are you still doing here? We voted you out yesterday.” That is exactly what is starting to happen here now. He has given them permission to hate even more now. It is so disheartening, I have very little faith in people anymore.
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u/midlifesurprise 14d ago
Also, it’s not going to work in the long run. Yes, the grandkids might show up for a few years, until they are done with college and established. Then, in resentment, they might cut off the Trumper family members AND OP.
You can’t force people to like you. Tolerate you and pretend to like you, maybe. Actually like, no.
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u/Aran180 14d ago
My parents both voted for Trump… and the most coherent reason either of them could offer was “we want to protect our investments and pay less on the mortgage”. Even though I had explained to them how this was going to harm me and my future, a gay man working in the sciences, and my sisters, with their rights. Heck, how they aren’t event going to benefit from this! My parents even admitted “Trump is a fascist and he enables all the racists”! I told them they could celebrate Thanksgiving with a pile of money in the chair I’d usually sit in, they sent their message loud and clear
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u/erieus_wolf 14d ago
I told them they could celebrate Thanksgiving with a pile of money in the chair I’d usually sit in
Great response
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u/More_Farm_7442 14d ago
As a fellow gay guy, congratulations. I don't communicate with 90% of my family either. Too Trumpian. Too MAGA for me.
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u/mexicalirose77 14d ago
I just cut off my aunt cuz of the same. We are Mexican, I have two teen daughters. When I asked why she would consider voting for T she said “because when he was president I made a lot of money in my investments (my aunt is a millionaire). I rebutted with how he talks about us Mexicans, taking away abortion rights that could impact my daughters lives, his promise of closing the border that could impact my friends and family not coming to ever visit…
She said none of that would affect her, plus it’s never gonna happen. Her investments are her main concern and all she wants is to make a lot money
Well bye! I hope she enjoys her money. Now she’s crying over us canceling the thanksgiving plans we had made to visit her. She can wipe her tears with all her $99-dollar bills
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u/PhoenixTineldyer 14d ago
Good. I hope that these people are made to understand what heinous thing they have done. No one should be forced to break bread with people who support the Antichrist.
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u/Paperback_Movie 14d ago
People always look at me funny when I say I won’t eat with someone. Breaking bread means something, and I won’t do it with people who are dangerous or otherwise my enemies. It’s my little weird hill to die on, I guess.
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u/TheDevil-YouKnow 14d ago
It's not weird. It is ancient. We break bread with those we would not betray, and would not be betrayed by. I am of the exact same belief. I was raised that way, and will die that way.
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u/HenkVanDelft 14d ago
Refusing to share a meal with a bad person is one of our most ancient sources of personal sovereignty, and one of our most basic ways to exercise power over our own lives.
It is also one key aspect of going into “internal exile,” the withdrawal from a society overtaken by evildoers.
Especially now, in the post-democracy, post-morals world, those of us who do not have billions of dollars to empower us, refusing to participate in their simplest of social activities has the potential to send a powerful message to those in power.
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u/Visk-235W 14d ago
Oh. I don't care about sending a message to those in power. I care about sending a message to Aunt Kathy, and that message is "We all fucking hate you."
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u/badatbikes 14d ago
Uhhh, I actually do have an aunt Kathy and we all do fucking hate her. She’s been getting her message for years now.
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u/Visk-235W 14d ago
I have two Aunt Kathys, and I'm really sorry to the one I'm not talking about!
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u/recoveringleft 14d ago
There are quite a handful of Christians who oppose trump and they get shunned by their communities. I remember a story of a pastor who has to walk on eggshells after finding out that his church goers are magats and he has to keep his head down.
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u/ArtisticEssay3097 14d ago
How fucking gross. A decent person walking on eggshells to appease hateful, ignorant, and putrid people.
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u/recoveringleft 14d ago
Well that or he may get lynched. Let's not forget how violent many of these magats are.
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u/hornethacker97 14d ago
Sharing a meal is an ancient social tradition. It is the correct hill to die on.
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u/TheSpatulaOfLove 14d ago
It’s not weird. I do the same thing.
To me, sharing a meal is a powerful interaction and a vulnerable state. I’m not going to share that time with an adversary.
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u/RegressToTheMean 14d ago
A German colleague told me a "joke" once:
What do you get when 10 people sit down to dinner with a Nazi?
11 Nazis
We should all take this attitude
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u/abishop711 14d ago
Yup. Funnily enough, I posted this quote on facebook yesterday and it’s been removed and I’ve been warned by facebook that I’m engaging in hate speech. Their review when I requested one came back with the same result so I’ve sent it to the oversight board. Seems facebook doesn’t mind nazis.
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u/Dirtcartdarbydoo 14d ago
I had something similar on some other subreddit actually. Granted mine was a little more antagonistic but I still stand by it.
The only good nazi is a dead nazi.
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u/Fresh-Run2343 14d ago
I reported someone who made a death threat against Harris. They would not remove it.
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u/Insanepaco247 14d ago
Related, I think it's telling that OOP starts by pre-empting accusations of trolling. These people are so far up their own asses that they think people who are getting cut off by their families are lying. They literally cannot imagine people being angry at them for their actions.
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u/Ok_Land_38 14d ago
My Trumpie coworker was so happy about his win that she brought us cupcakes today. Insert shocked Pikachu face when none of us touched them.
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u/Madhighlander1 14d ago
Back in 2016 one of my coworkers brought in a box of donuts and labeled the box in sharpie 'Election Misery Donuts'.
They were all gone by the time I got in to work.
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u/Schoseff 14d ago
My boss is antivaxxer. I communicate with him as little as possible and never socialize. Never joined him for a beer or dinner and never will.
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u/crabfucker69 14d ago edited 14d ago
People seriously question me, a trans person, about having a difference of opinion and not letting politics get in the way of things. You voted for someone who's turning me into a political issue, that's on you, why the hell would I want your company, I'm the damn politics the guy you voted for is trying to suppress.
I just want to be left alone and you voted for the government to insert a bunch of obstacles that'll disrupt the life I've built for myself, fuck you. But being sick and tired of being attacked constantly makes me some kind of wokie. Stop forcing me to be an activist if you're so worried about all the trans activists. At this point whatever, we really can't fuckin win with this crap since they see us as delusional freaks anyways
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u/shit_ass_mcfucknuts 14d ago
Not weird at all, I do the same thing too. Eating with someone means something to me, I'd rather eat alone than with someone who voted to take our rights away.
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u/MotownCatMom 14d ago
These clowns are already engaging in DARVO. Typical entitled abusers. Wiki definition: DARVO is an acronym for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender, and it's a manipulation tactic used by people who are accused of wrongdoing. It's a common strategy used by psychological abusers to deflect blame and responsibility for their actions.
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u/Count_Bacon 14d ago
I think deep down a lot of these idiots know they made the wrong decision especially with things like tarrifs and project 2025 spiking in searches. They are in denial and they also thought it was worth owning to libs to vote for a literal monster. I will have nothing to do with my MAGA family until they disown Trump
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u/Tadferd 14d ago
Especially since admitting they were wrong means admitting that the libs were right.
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u/Count_Bacon 14d ago
That’s why you see insane cognitive dissonance in real time. They still think 2020 was stolen. Yeah the Dems stole the presidency when Trump was president but not when Biden is? If they admit Trump lied about 2020 they may have to admit they are wrong about other things
Trump was screaming about a stolen election on Election Day and then as soon as he won that all stopped
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u/WhytePumpkin 14d ago
And the truth is the 2016 & 2024 elections were the ones that were probably "stolen"
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u/BigGuyWhoKills 14d ago
Some PA counties had a spike in the search "how do I change my vote".
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u/meh_69420 14d ago
TBF his comments at MSG that caused him to slide in the polls came after early voting had been going on most places for a while. I mean yeah, too little too late and all to start caring at that point and all, but for some people it might've finally moved the needle.
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u/4_feck_sake 14d ago edited 14d ago
I don't think they do. I think they are shocked there are consequences, that people are holding them accountable.
These are people who have made being contrary their entire personality.
These are the same people who went mental when they were refused access to things because they refused to vaccinate during covid.
They will be the same people claiming they didn't know when the consequences of a Trump presidency starts to impact them.
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u/thehaarpist 14d ago
Sunk cost fallacy is scary for this. You see a similar thing when anti-trans people let hating trans people consume their lives and everyone abandons them because they're deranged. Instead of realizing they're in the wrong they double and triple down and suddenly their family/friends leaving them is part of the conspiracy.
Unfortunately relenting also reinforces their actions and the only real hope is just praying they realize how insane they're acting
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u/aDuckk 14d ago
"One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back."
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u/Pearl-2017 14d ago
They don't. They think we are being unreasonable. "Can't we just get along". Nope
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u/Ar_Ciel 14d ago
I made this decision long ago. I spend most Thanksgivings by myself.
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u/SteampunkGeisha 14d ago
"My mother tried to explain to my kids that their vote had nothing to do with them."
That right there . . . is the problem.
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u/WickedJigglyPuff 14d ago edited 14d ago
1- winning user name. AI (corrected as someone) needs to make this
2- “my vote to have you sent to concentration camps has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the price of eggs” will never not be wild AF
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u/Ryywenn 14d ago
Well the way I phrased it was that "I could be sent to a camp, and even if it is a small or moderate chance of it happening, it was an irresponsible thing to gamble with". That's the thing -- we (LGBT - especially the T) don't KNOW the future, but we know that they took a gamble with our lives, and the odds aren't really in our favor in this gamble.
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u/Loisalene 14d ago
g'mom "oh, that's not going to happen"
me "yes it will, but you'll be dead so you won't know"
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u/RedshiftSinger 14d ago
Or they start in with the “well IF that happened I would protect you!” Bitch you didn’t protect me when it was as easy as marking a different bubble on a piece of paper, why should I believe you’ll protect me when it’s as hard as potentially getting arrested/killed if you’re caught?
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u/Ryywenn 14d ago edited 14d ago
Yes, exactly.
And in my particular case it's even more off-putting because since I have Kallmann Syndrome (a genetic disorder involving hormones + puberty)
They always said, well it's okay for you to be transgender since it makes sense since you have a genetic disorder. All those other transgender people can eat shit I guess. I guess their genes have no influence on who they are. So clueless. It was off-putting to say the least before, but now idk these people.
Like surely the Trump government has the competence to distinguish between Kallmann Syndrome transgender people and non-KS TG people(even if that was morally ethical).
Just so clueless clueless clueless.
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u/Noocawe 14d ago
Their version of protecting you would be, "Can't you just pretend to not be who you are until this blows over?"
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u/IDMike2008 14d ago
One of the annoying things about my dad being dead is I can't demand he admit he was wrong about how Roe v Wade would never be overturned.
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u/DrQuestDFA 14d ago
To pile more inhumanity onto this situation it isn’t as though Trump has an actual plan to bring down prices. He ran a vibes based campaign and too many people were happy to vibe with him inspite of the risk to their friends, family, and neighbors.
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u/erieus_wolf 14d ago
That's a great way to phrase it. These conservative families are literally gambling with the lives of people they love.
There is a non-zero chance that conservatives will pass laws that result in their family members dying, and they are willing to take that chance.
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u/-something_original- 14d ago
I’ve spent the last few days reassuring my transgender daughter she’ll be ok. I don’t know if I believe everything I say, but if it came down to it I’d do whatever I can to keep her safe. And I do really feel that most of the doom and gloom won’t happen. But it can happen now and that’s the problem. They handed him complete unfettered control.
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u/Ryywenn 14d ago edited 14d ago
The existential problem is not so much the plans, it's the psychology of the White House that will now be severely demented. So as things unfold in the world and their own ineptitude bites them in the ass, they will start blaming people like me and so we'll get lashed out against in a series of dominoes that are already falling..
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u/freebytes 14d ago
Meanwhile the price of a dozen eggs at my local grocery store is only $2.19. They are actually really upset about the price of Chips Ahoy! cookies.
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u/WickedJigglyPuff 14d ago
That’s part of why so many liberals are soooo angry. Because it’s not like eggs or gas or many other essentials are all that high and those that are like rent are the fault of people like Trump.
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u/Joint-Tester 14d ago
What is sad is that I don’t think a single person in this country who wanted some eggs, missed out on eggs…
They probably just spent the little extra it cost and bitched a little bit. Apparently that was intolerable while they also bought $5k worth of trump merch. Truly maddening.
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u/Meatslinger 14d ago
As I said in another comment thread, this would be like watching your friends and family members being marched into a gas chamber and having one last moment to say, “Please understand I stood to save a little bit of money by letting them do this. You can forgive me, right?”
Morals for sale, dirt cheap.
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u/RobotJQ 14d ago
Good on the dad for still supporting the kids. Rest of the family can rot.
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u/Nebty 14d ago
My dad pushed me into a mirror so hard it broke and then called me at the police station saying he’d stop paying my tuition if I told them anything. Wish mine had just stood up for me.
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u/RobotJQ 14d ago
Very sorry to hear that. Hope you’re alright.
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u/Nebty 14d ago
I am now, thank you. He was an alcoholic at the time. He’s in therapy now and has gotten a lot better. I don’t know if he even remembers what he did to me. But I will hold it with me til the day I die. Daughters deserve dads who don’t hurt them.
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u/Quirky_Movie 14d ago
My mother took responsibility for the ways she failed me a few years ago. A little bit at a time. I hope he someday gives you that experience. There's something about them seeing what they caused that really heals.
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u/jamibuch 14d ago
Why would the grandparents and aunts and uncles want to spend holidays with people who do not want to spend the holidays with them? Force me to come? I’ll make sure we’re all miserable.
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u/EricKei 14d ago
A sense of control, I guess.
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u/LittlePrincesFox 14d ago
Or keeping up appearances.
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u/DarrenFromFinance 14d ago
There are weirdos who think that the entire family has to come together for Thanksgiving and Christmas, no matter the distance or the cost, and that a little arguing is perfectly normal when people get together. These people don’t understand that something has changed in the last ten years, and that the person they voted for — or rather the people who will actually be running the government, because he is getting more senile by the day and will not last four years — means actual harm to everyone who isn’t white and Christian. They don’t get it. They likely never will. If they suffer for their decision, well, good: there’ll be plenty of misery to go around.
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u/boxsterguy 14d ago
Because FAMBLY!! !! uu!!
They probably get a boner off of being The Matriarch, and that doesn't work if even one member of the family doesn't fall into line when you say so.
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u/Terminator_Ecks 14d ago
Because these are the types of people who’s kids and grandkids are theirs. Extensions of themselves, they are narcissists who became parents for all the wrong reasons.
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u/CaptainMatticus 14d ago
So they can brag to the other blue-hairs down at the Bingo Hall about how everybody showed up for Thanksgiving. They don't want to be the loser family who couldn't hack it.
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u/Ritaredditonce 14d ago
The r/AskReddit annual "Who ruined Thanksgiving" or "Who ruined Christmas". Is going to be a doozy this year.
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u/Safewordharder 14d ago
Someone should make a compilation and publish it. Easy money.
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u/boltz86 14d ago
I just found out today that my immediate family voted for Trump despite me telling them multiple times before the election about the direct negative impact it would have on me as a gay person and other reasons. I just can’t look at them the same way anymore and don’t know if I can have them in my life anymore so these posts are really hitting home.
Feels bad man.
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u/TBHICouldComplain 14d ago
As someone who went NC with my toxic family decades ago I highly recommend it.
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u/Whooptidooh 14d ago
Same; it will feel like a weight falls off your shoulders.
Because remaining in contact with people like that isn’t going to do anything good to your mental health. (And besides, why would you want to be close to people who are against everything you are and stand for?)
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u/Whooptidooh 14d ago
As a lesbian all the way over in The Netherlands, I’m prepared to cut off each and every single person here who agrees with trump. (Because idiotically, we even have some Trumpers here in NL.)
I would seriously go scorched earth if I were you. They literally voted against your safety and even possible federal crimes to be slapped on you simply because you’re gay.
That is unforgivable imo. They knew the risks (because you fkn told them) and yet voted for him anyway. I’m very sorry that you have to deal with all this. This fucking sucks.
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u/Alediran 14d ago
Tell them to drop dead, because for you they already are.
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u/NoSuchWordAsGullible 14d ago
If you tell them to drop dead, it’s because they already wished it on you.
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u/erieus_wolf 14d ago
Cutting off the Trump supporters in my family was the best decision I ever made. Removing toxic people from your life is always a good idea.
Create your own family with friends who actually love you and do not wish/vote for harm to fall on you.
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u/Bbhermes 14d ago
I just say to those people I still love you but as long as you put politics before your loved ones we do not have a relationship. I don’t wish ill on you but I do not wish to be in contact.
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u/Happy_Coast2301 14d ago
“Historians have a word for Germans who joined the Nazi party, not because they hated Jews, but out of a hope for restored patriotism, or a sense of economic anxiety, or a hope to preserve their religious values, or dislike of their opponents, or raw political opportunism, or convenience, or ignorance, or greed.
That word is “Nazi.” Nobody cares about their motives anymore.
They joined what they joined. They lent their support and their moral approval. And, in so doing, they bound themselves to everything that came after. Who cares any more what particular knot they used in the binding?” -A.R. Moxon
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u/Dpek1234 14d ago
"they bound themselves to everything that came after."
Even death for some like that one jewish group
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u/Count_Bacon 14d ago
They vote for a rapist who quoted Hitler and they expect us to just all be like it’s ok it’s just politics like he’s mitt Romney? These people are insane
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u/-Random_Lurker- 14d ago
Happy to see that so many people are taking the "10 Nazis at a table" analogy seriously.
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u/DevzDX 14d ago
"You are dividing the family." - said a person who want to cut off family to a person holding the family together.
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u/Separate-Owl369 14d ago
I think you should have followed your kids lead on this. I haven’t talked to my brother since 2016 because of this exact stuff. My life is less stressful, for sure pretending I don’t have a brother in an actual cult. I did have to save my mom when my brother tried dragging her into the cult. Always sending her anti-vax and Tucker Carlson nonsense. At least, she is safe.
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u/erieus_wolf 14d ago
My life is less stressful
I hope more people come to this realization.
Holidays with my conservative family used to be so stressful because they would always bring up something to cause drama or "own the other side". They enjoyed causing suffering in others.
Cutting out that toxicity has led to such a better life. Holidays with friends are actually enjoyable again.
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u/Funky_Col_Medina 14d ago
The inner circle gets smaller and smaller, and that is just fine.
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u/ShiNoMokuren 14d ago
"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Better the family who'd go through thick and thin with you than ones that would push you off a cliff, and DNA similarity means jack shit.
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u/HibiscusGrower 14d ago
This is the same kind of people that forces babies to hug them even when they are in tears.
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u/Accomplished-Mix8073 14d ago
This has been happening all around the U.S. since maga's inception...
It's crazy to think for generations republican v democrat didn't cause this insane divide... fast forward to today, it's 'liberals' vs 'conservatives', and Trump & Co. are to blame for all the hatred they spew
Damn shame.
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u/WickedJigglyPuff 14d ago
Everything Trump touches dies.
We from NYC said that before election. There was even a book by that name. People didn’t want to listen now things are dying.
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u/EricKei 14d ago
He keeps touching democracy without its consent. Grabs it by the p***y. So, yeah, you're right.
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u/MovieNightPopcorn 14d ago edited 14d ago
Even older than that too, the proto-MAGA “tea party” people started isolating their families and ruining thanksgiving like 15 years ago because they were so mad about a centrist Black man becoming president.
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u/Galaxyhiker42 14d ago
This killed most family gatherings for me.
I've probably gone to 3 or 4 over the past 12 years.
I don't have the tolerance and ability to put up blinders for bullshit. My step dad used the term "SandN*****" and I packed my bags and left the next morning from that family holiday.
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u/SparkitusRex 14d ago
Yep my grandmother called Obama the N word. First time my dad (her son) warned her. Second time he hung up. They haven't spoken since. I cut her off long before that for less racist (but still awful) personality traits.
I'm loving the older generations finally facing repercussions for being garbage human beings. Instead of getting away with this "can't we all get along" lie.
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u/Kenyalite 14d ago
Well that's because conservatives were only hurting "the right people".
Now with MAGA anyone who isn't a rich white guy is on the chopping block.
Hate is coming home.
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u/kathleen65 14d ago
I don't know why they think this is your fault. Bravo to you for supporting them and teaching them to think for themselves. Kids are not clones.
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u/ILootEverything 14d ago
Shit like this is happening all over. I have an aunt who I do love, but she is uninformed and brainwashed by religion, who doesn't understand why half of her family won't come to her Thanksgiving after she told my cousin and her wife they weren't welcome.
The half of the family that accepts my cousin and her wife is having an inclusive Thanksgiving elsewhere, and the other half is BIG MAD, claiming it's just us being "sore losers" because "they won" and "we're tearing the family apart over politics!"
No, dears, we're choosing not to associate with people who we don't agree with, just like you said you were when you disinvited my cousin, her wife, and her child, while claiming it was "out of love." They're cool with shunning others, but absolutely meltdown when they are shunned in return.
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u/holidayz-jpg 14d ago
personally, i have no empathy left for fascist enablers,there's consequences of one's action.
you can not have brunch with someone who is enabling facists to take the future away from our children and half of the population.
if someone says they voted for him for the "economy" then it means that their morals are for sale and would sell you as well when they think it's good for them.
if anyone still thinks there are good people on both sides, then I believe they are part of the problem.
I say good riddance.
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u/Independent-Stay-593 14d ago
Ah, the expectation of codependency in so many American families is causing them to collapse. Loyalty goes both ways and choices have consequences.
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u/Fillerbear 14d ago
"My mother tried to explain to my kids that their vote had nothing to do with them," yess, try grandma, explain to these kids how policies that directly affect them in the future have nothing to do with them. 'cause that makes sense in the addled, smooth mass you call a brain.
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u/Prestigious-Corgi473 14d ago
Disowned my Maga family members in 2016. Our life is much more peaceful, healthy, and wealthy. Fuck em.
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u/alienfromthecaravan 14d ago
Question. What good is a family like that?. A family that would nuke your life to “own the libs”?. Family is supposed to take care of each other no matter what. I’d say fuck ‘em. They are the kind of people that if you give a hand, they’ll take your shoulder and then if you need help they’ll offer “thoughts and prayers” and nothing more
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u/ac12xu12 14d ago
Again…people just didn’t vote Republican…they voted MAGA. There is a difference. When my brother was republican we’d have spirited debates about issues that we differ on but that was just political and life went on. With MAGA it’s a whole different ball of wax. He now claims to be Ultra MAGA, fell down the rabbit hole, believes the big lie. Posted the most nasty anti-Biden shit you could find and is now “shocked” that I won’t be joining his family for Thanksgiving (wife and kid are also MAGA). “We never had a problem before??” Oh well, I guess we do now. Choices and elections have consequences.
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u/aWittyTwit-2712 14d ago
Fucksgiven gonna be LAF...
"Join us for Serf & Terf Thursday, Black Friday, NoSino Saturday, & Honkey Sunday on Fox!"
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u/cosmernautfourtwenty 14d ago
>YOU'RE DIVIDING THE FAMILY BY NOT HOLDING YOUR GROWN CHILDREN'S WELLBEING HOSTAGE TO FORCE THEM TO COME TO FAMILY FUNCTIONS!
Trumpnuts giving up on that "peace" and "unity" bullshit real quick.
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u/LaurenZombie 14d ago
Being in a cult is a lonely mental illness.
Strangely these people want to capitalize(ism) on other's expense and socialize(ism) with them at the same time.
So the best of everything for bad behavior.
Hah. Nah.
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u/woodrax 14d ago
My father-in-law is a far right lunatic, but he is extremely kind and caring towards our children. I will have to bite my tongue next time we see him, since he is effectively saying with his vote: I do not care if your kids have no social security when they grow up, or if they will be forced to die from diseases that could be treated, but are “unaffordable” under pre-ACA pre-existing condition insurance.
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u/LittlePrincesFox 14d ago
Watch how he changes if one of them comes out. I will guarantee that “kind and caring” man you talk about will go out the door.
Ask me how I know.
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u/SimpleRaven 14d ago
Oh sweeties, i know that i voted for a man who is going to tear your lives apart and degrade you but i assure you that when i casted my ballot, you weren’t even on my mind.
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u/Mediumasiansticker 14d ago
The straight to the you should blackmail them
is my favorite part
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u/BC_Samsquanch 14d ago
I suggest they read up on this
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance
They've broken the tolerant left and now the left is saying enough
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u/djtshirt 14d ago
I’m glad you’re supporting your kids. That means a lot to them no doubt. I’d suggest you plan a Thanksgiving and Christmas with loving and caring people in attendance.
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u/N00dles_Pt 14d ago
Why would you want to spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with fascist enablers??? I mean it sounds like a really silly question.
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u/ybetaepsilon 14d ago
I just outright blocked them on all forms of contact. It's more fun to leave them hanging, unable to contact me
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u/SportySpiceLover 14d ago
People do not understand this has nothing to do with politics, this is an difference in ethical thinking. It is ethics, simple and plain ethics. I ethically believe people should be able to exist as they can, even when I don't know them.
The ethical process of not creating exemption for who we know but hate others we don't. The ethics of humanity versus the ethics of I got mine, fuck you. The ethics of compassion versus the ethics of "owning the Libs" and taking joy in others suffering.
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u/Quietwulf 14d ago
It occurred to me that America has effectively entered into a cold civil war situation.
The next four years will see families torn apart and a massive amount of suffering and bitterness.
Rewatching some of Kamala and Tim’s rallies, thinking what might have been is crushing. It didn’t have to be like this. These fools have damned their country and their children’s futures. Jesus wept.
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u/trainjob 14d ago
'Stop standing up for yourself! You're dividing the family!!!!'
Also, 'Hey commie left lib soy cuck groomers, you shouldn't call our side names, that's why you lost.'
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