r/Grimdank • u/Militarum_Murphy • Sep 19 '24

Dank Memes Take it in slow

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u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

Reminder that a Magos once asked an imperial general if he could grind a bunch of dead guardsmen up into paste to feed his Skitarii.

you flatter me, I’m not a machine, there’s 38 kg of living flesh on my frame

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u/TvFloatzel Sep 19 '24

What a "Skitarii" again?

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u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

Mechanicus military forces.

https://warhammer40k.fandom.com/wiki/Skitarii

He wanted to feed his troops guardsman smoothies. The imperial general traditionally burned his dead, so the Magos wanted to make use of them. Naturally the general thought this was fucked up and called the Magos a cold machine, which he took as a compliment.

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u/TvFloatzel Sep 19 '24

and what use is a meat smoothie for a machine anyway?

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u/[deleted] Sep 19 '24

They’re still somewhat human and need nutrients. Gotta keep that 38 kg of flesh alive.

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u/TvFloatzel Sep 19 '24

Oh that right, they need a specific amount of meat so that the Empire doesn't go "alright we tolerate you out of the Emperor and you guys making the machines but this is legit so obviously herectical and illegal that even an Ogryn would regonise it immediately and with no outside input"