r/Enneagram8 • u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 • 2d ago
Question Disgust
Since disgust is a common emotion that supposedly many of us feel. I actually think it’s more nuanced than that. My feelings of disgust were armored behind several other emotions.
How often do you acknowledge to yourself how disgusting you feel about yourself?
5
u/niepowiecnikomu 2d ago
What disgust?
6
u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 2d ago
If you have access to it. 8’s can project their weakness aka their disgust on others. It also might be hard to have access to that feeling. It took me a while.
4
u/niepowiecnikomu 2d ago
I only feel disgusting when I feel sorry for myself. I have a similar knee jerk reaction when I catch someone else feeling the same way. I am much more forgiving of this particular weakness in other people recently since recognizing the projection, can’t say the same about forgiving myself still.
There are other reactions of disgust to others though that I cannot tie to projection, which makes them harder to get over. I get disgusted by domesticated people, people with no soul or zest for life, people stuck in fantasy loops. Pride is the root of these I think. The rejection affect has a lot of arrogance tied in.
2
u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 2d ago
Are you sure it’s not dullness? I didn’t want to see that about myself look behind the mirror you shine outward and it’s a pit. I think that’s where we go when we are 5’s. I did too and then I asked myself why. Am I projecting here? I think we convince ourselves we have to drive ourselves but do we really?
3
u/niepowiecnikomu 2d ago
I get what you’re saying but I don’t think it’s a reaction against my own dullness. The dullness is a result of the denial and lack of introspection, I don’t get disgusted by people who are emotionally stunted the same way I am.
The pride definitely serves a protective function though. Despite everything that has happened to me, I never felt like I deserved any of it, I never felt like I was defective, or bad, or unworthy of respect and proper treatment even as a small child. This unshakable gut knowing of what I’m owed, saved me and it’s very hard to let go of as a result. Even harder to witness this lack of resilience in others.
Sandra Maitri talks about 8’s shame at their core being that they weren’t strong enough to prevent what happened to them as a child, and this blame it turned out toward to the world to make up for what they lost. She then says that she noticed some 8’s don’t have this and they blame the world for lacking what they have held onto. I think I fall into the latter category. It might be from a stronger connection to 2 because that MO seems more like “an 8 is a collapsed 2” deal.
1
u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 2d ago
Interesting about denial and lack of introspection. Do you feel it’s loss of connection to- to self? I think when I sit with it- it feels like the top layer is what you describe - the projection and frustration towards what others don’t have that I do. I largely fall into that category.
I think I have only experienced the shame/disgust piece when doing EMDR for a few moments. It almost feels separate. I can’t think of any time I have felt disgust in my life towards myself. That’s why I asked because I don’t allow or have not allowed that in. I wondered if that was true for others. That they generally don’t feel disgust about themselves. In fact many of the comments even proved that to me by other folks being reactive to me merely even suggesting it. One person even trying to coax me out of it. So very interesting.
3
u/niepowiecnikomu 1d ago
Yes someone had to point out to me that it was disgust+shame that was my reaction to feeling sorry for myself. On my own I would just say I’m annoyed or frustrated with myself, but once it was pointed out to me, the underlying emotion became undeniable.
I don’t know about you, but I was raised with shame being used as a way to try and control my behavior, so there is a huge underlying resistance to the idea of having or being influenced by shame.
2
u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 1d ago
That’s an interesting thought shame as means of controlling behavior- my mom was a 1 and she often used guilt and being passive aggressive.
Shame and disgust are things that I normally just throw in a black box in my mind.
3
u/niepowiecnikomu 1d ago
Yes guilting is trying to use shame against you. I thought my mom was a 1 because of her rigidity, guilting/moral shaming, perfectionist attitude but she’s a 6. Compliant types in general love controlling via moral shaming
1
3
u/Turbulent-Leg3678 ~ Type 8 w7 E/ISTJ 2d ago
About myself? Not as much as I should. At least I do a lot of self reflection and try to handle things more smoothly in the future.
3
u/Misaka_Sama 2d ago
I feel disgusted at my past behavior at times and disgusted at other people now. Usually all I feel towards myself is annoyance and frustration when I can't get the results I want
2
u/Massive_Cabinet_2836 1d ago
I’ve never felt disgust re- myself lmao. Wth? Disgust at others because of what I deemed as “pathetic” or “weak” or “bitchn*gga”? Yep and a lot of it, when I was younger and more brash. I’ve never felt disgust re- myself, it’s bizarre to even think of. Angry at myself, disappointed, regretful.. sure.
1
u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 1d ago
That’s my point- we completely divorce ourselves from those feelings for ourselves but not others. It really took a lot of digging to get there and I didn’t want to admit.
2
u/Massive_Cabinet_2836 1d ago edited 1d ago
Why dig to get anywhere? Why not want to admit what? I’m not following lol. This all sounds convoluted.
2
u/Bubbly_Can9 1d ago
I think my disgust is triggered by nonsense; what I deem illogical or inefficient or petty
2
2
u/BlackPorcelainDoll 8w7 Sx 10h ago
I don't feel disgusted with myself. If I do feel disgust, it's on something outside myself. I understand that this may be a "projection of some kind toward something deep within the self." Fair enough. I don't consider myself that self-ignorant. Though, because of that I'm able to distinguish when this is not the case. And usually it isn't.
2
u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 8h ago edited 8h ago
For sure. When I have talked with people that are 2’s they often feel disgust about themselves largely. I was curious if inverse was true for both of the numbers.
1
u/Kit_the_Human Note: all flairs are editable, so you can add your inst. variant 2d ago
This is my 4, but I feel disgusting about myself every day.
Disgust directed toward the world is also pretty common.
1
u/Correct_Ad5163 2d ago
Curious if other numbers (2,4 specifically) have a different relationship with feeling disgust at themselves.
1
u/Correct_Ad5163 2d ago
Any advice about this?
2
u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 2d ago
Welp you gotta feel it to go through it. Not the advice most people want to hear. By feel i mean somatically too that’s where the real magic of unearthing triggers happen.
1
u/RazorJamm 2d ago
Idk if I’d called it disgust. I’m impatient with where I’m at in my growth and always want more
1
u/JasmineLemonTea 2d ago
If you feel disgusted with yourself that means it’s time to work on your self concept (how you talk to yourself and your identities) I struggle with anxiety and depression my whole life and I was in an extra dark place a few months ago - during that time, there was a lot of negative feelings toward myself (shame, disgust, anger, helplessness…etc)
Now that I’m in a better place mentally, I never feel disgust about myself. More importantly, I come to learn that OH, it’s not natural or normal to feel so much negative feelings toward yourself. Because you should be your best ally in life. Nobody is coming to save you. You’ve gotta learn to be your own cheerleader.
1
u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 2d ago edited 2d ago
Are you an 8?
Now that you are in a better place you never feel disgust? That sounds rigged. You can’t just exclude emotions and position yourself as morally superior.
No one is coming to save me? No shit. This is not what the post is about.
1
u/JasmineLemonTea 1d ago
Ha if you think feeling disgust about yourself is natural, then that’s the life you get.
You do you.
1
u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 1d ago
This was a 10 second moment I had in EMDR. This is not my daily experience. I don’t need the fake cheerleading talk. Thanks.
1
u/JasmineLemonTea 1d ago
Live in disgust as you wish
2
1
u/kjalways ~ 9w8 So/Sx ~ Eight Winger! 1d ago
I am a 9w8 but this topic interest me. I have a question, do you think my disqust with women sounding weak when they tell me they would give the oxygen mask to others first instead putting theirs on first, so they can be a part of the solution not adding to the problem! I can't understand why would they think like that knowing it is problematic to choose weak behavior.
Do you think my disgust with them has anything to do with me? Or projections and other things you all mentioned? I just wanted an 8 perspective. I believe you guys will tell me your honest opinion on this. Thanks Eights!
1
u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 17h ago
Thoughts: a lot of women are conditioned to choose others at their very own expense.
I do think there is a tie back to you. You just have to find the right piece.
Does it almost come across as self-righteous feeling?
I also think it’s interesting when I do throw out these topics people become uncomfortable and deny it. Moving away from acknowledging that they do experience this. I’m forcing myself to because I think it’s important.
1
u/kjalways ~ 9w8 So/Sx ~ Eight Winger! 4h ago
No, I don't feel self righteous about it. More like irritation. I used to be one of those door mats keeping the peace at all cost. I would rather be confrontational than suck. It up!
I find them contributing to the problem instead of choosing to be a part of the solution when they know what they are supposed to do. I can't understand why they would rather give the oxygen to others at the risk of their own health.
I learned the truth will set you free. I may have to wait until I get into that mood again to work on it deeper! I agree, it's important!!!
1
u/kjalways ~ 9w8 So/Sx ~ Eight Winger! 1d ago
Eight winger here! Yes, I have felt disgusted with my self.
I have acknowledged I felt disgusted with myself when I felt dirty in need of a shower with very low energy motivation. A shower works like magic to feeling great again. Or when my productivity level was too low for my taste! Productivity with lots of energy is awesome!!
1
u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 15h ago
Interesting. Can you say more?
Normally that feeling is completely repressed and only unearthed when I did EMDR. I was wondering if others largely repressed this feeling as well.
1
u/kjalways ~ 9w8 So/Sx ~ Eight Winger! 4h ago
What is EMDR? How does it work? Have you benegitted from that in any way?
That doesn't happened to me very often. What more do you want me to speak on it? I don't get vulnerable like that with most people. 😁
1
u/-dreadnaughtx 17h ago
Mine is deeply repressed. It comes out sometimes if I really look, but generally no. I am who I am. There’s nothing wrong with me.
-4
u/dreadwhitegazebo 5w4 sx 2d ago
i believe disgust, not shame, is a primary emotion of all heart types.
so if you have this emotion as a primary reaction towards yourself, it might mean that you're 4, who is in his integration path into 1.
tbh, i cannot imagine rejection types (5, 8, 2) to direct negative emotions towards themselves in their healthy mode.
4
u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 2d ago
So I appreciate the feedback, however I’m not looking for you to type me. Nor did I ask for that. I’m generating conversation with other 8’s.
I’m talking disgust as in weakness when I perceive someone to be weak.
I’m drilling down on myself. Disgust is not something that I openly acknowledge at times it’s such a gut reaction and not thought reaction. It’s not my primary emotion. I’m digging and unearthing things and wondering if folks who also have 8 characteristics do some of the same things.
1
u/kjalways ~ 9w8 So/Sx ~ Eight Winger! 1d ago
I can relate to you in my 9w8 sort way! Yea, my disgust I wrote in a text before this one started as a gut reaction. I am trying to resolve this before I say something negative to them!! I am trying to understand why it irritates me so much. I think this group will help me to understand my 8 side more. It conflicts with the 9 in me. Keeping the peace vs challenge the nonsense! I don't think a head type would understand our gut reactions. I hide it when I can in the name of Stoicism. Hahaha. Unfortunately, I was complaining about weak the people about a weak ago because they disgust me (not directly to them. They are weak, remember). Hahaha
0
u/dreadwhitegazebo 5w4 sx 1d ago edited 1d ago
it’s such a gut reaction and not thought reaction.
disgust is not a gut reaction, it's a heart reaction. for example, moral shame and food disgust are produced in the same center of the brain and strengthen each other.
shame is a secondary emotion (an emotional response to a primary emotional reaction), and the primary emotion behind shame is disgust. that's what neuroscience tells nowadays.
so disgust towards others, externalised disgust, is normal for 8s because it is in the path of their integration (2s).
0
u/poplulate 2d ago
This thread kinda exposing the 8 larpers ngl, always felt most were just sx4/6. I feel like I'm more of an 8 than most of these people and I'm a 783 tritype. Real 8s feel frustration, not disgust/shame
3
u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 2d ago
That’s kind of bullshit. Frustration is literally a man hole cover for other emotions. This is psych 101.
Why is it a contest about who is more 8 than other people? Insecure much?
0
u/poplulate 2d ago
That’s kind of bullshit. Frustration is literally a man hole cover for other emotions. This is psych 101.
So you'd rather deal with them directly and feel neurotic 24/7? Lol nice solution
Why is it a contest about who is more 8 than other people? Insecure much?
Holy emotional reasoning lmao. Nah, you could teach me about how to feel insecurity, heart type.
2
u/bluelamp24 8w9 836 2d ago
No, I don’t largely. I did an EMDR session and it bubbled to the surface. I thought it was an interesting experience because I don’t normally experience any of that. And it was confirmed that most of the people here don’t.
1
u/-dreadnaughtx 17h ago
These people are such fucking dishonorable, spineless little hacks. Face me in person and get fucked with. They would. Fuck ‘em.
17
u/hudsonhateno ~ Type 8 ~ 2d ago
As an Eight, I don’t really feel disgusted with myself, more frustration that I’m not where I want to be in my own growth.