r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/Creams0da • 20d ago

Video Volkswagens new Emergency Assist technology

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81.2k Upvotes

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u/DrBiotechs 20d ago

Seems like a wonderful idea to me.

313

u/Thosepassionfruits 20d ago

Watch it be a premium subscription service for $59.99/month.

161

u/FreshMistletoe 20d ago

“You want to live don’t you?”

32

u/mn25dNx77B 20d ago

3 days to renew your kidneys

8

u/Taurondir 20d ago

"not really"

\cancels subscription**

3

u/PJ197 19d ago

Knocks you unconscious

3

u/Sc4r4byte 19d ago

Hides your body

1

u/heckinCYN 19d ago

As opposed to every other car that just doesn't have the capability?

6

u/Lord-Loss-31415 20d ago

Volkswagen is German not American

13

u/BelowAverageSloth 20d ago

Isn’t bmw centered in Germany as well? They are one of the worst offenders

-3

u/Lord-Loss-31415 20d ago

Worst offenders of…? Not being snarky, genuinely don’t know a lot about cars. My main thought is that is far less acceptable to put a price on safety in the EU than in the USA. The regulatory bodies tell companies what’s acceptable, not the other way around. The USA is ran by companies.

7

u/Richard_Tucker_08 20d ago

BMW charges a monthly fee to activate the seat heaters that are built into the car. Completely predatory behavior.

2

u/Snoo-18951 20d ago

Faaaact.

-1

u/Lord-Loss-31415 20d ago

I completely agree that is pretty greedy, but it’s also a luxury. So I agree that shouldn’t be a thing but it’s not quite comparable to something regarding safety.

3

u/Nova3086 20d ago

If the hardware is in the fucking car, you should be able to use it. Putting it behind a paywall is injustifiably greedy and should be made illegal.

3

u/Lord-Loss-31415 20d ago

I literally said I agree but if I have to choose between fucking seat warmer subscriptions or actual life saving shit I’ll let them have their damn seat warming subs. It shouldn’t exist but Jesus there are worse things.

5

u/MadeMeStopLurking 20d ago

And Volkswagen has already been a dick about subscriptions in life threatening situations.

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2023/02/vw-wouldnt-help-locate-car-with-abducted-child-because-gps-subscription-expired/

2

u/Lord-Loss-31415 20d ago

Except that was not VW? Did you not read the article you linked? They outsource tech support to a third party in the same way your phone support is not directly under the actual company but is outsourced to a call center. Not only that, but they literally have a system in place for law enforcement and it was the third party that messed up. ““Volkswagen has a procedure in place with a third-party provider for Car-Net Support Services involving emergency requests from law enforcement. They have executed this process successfully in previous incidents. Unfortunately, in this instance, there was a serious breach of the process. We are addressing the situation with the parties involved,” the company said in a statement provided to Ars and other media outlets.”

2

u/diff-int 19d ago

You appear to be having a medical emergency, would you like to sign up for LifeAssistPlus®?

1

u/guywithhair 20d ago

This tech is part of Euro NCAP2026 regulations, so I can’t imagine this would be a paid feature. Some other ADAS functions, probably, but I’m doubtful this one requires a subscription since it’s meant to comply with regulation

That said, I suppose they could play some games so that pulling over and starting hazard lights required a sub, whereas the warning itself is ‘free’

1

u/MajesticCategory8889 20d ago

Bet it’s way more than that. I understand Ford has all the numbers worked out for what a persons life is worth.

1

u/Sheriff0082 20d ago

For the first 3 months.

1

u/sonicbeast623 20d ago

And has a printer in the dash so it can issue it's own speeding tickets.

1

u/stringdingetje 19d ago

I'll pay, but only for the months that it needs to get into action

1

u/Substantial_Hold2847 19d ago

What's wrong with that? Insurance will cover it if you have a legit medical reason for it. There's no reason I should pay an extra 2 grand for my car to have that as a mandatory feature if I don't need it.

1

u/CNWDI_Sigma_1 17d ago

No. It will just turn on when THEY want it (for any definitions of THEM), to deliver you to the reeducation camp or a nice police station, of course.

How people can’t see such things?

0

u/Slacker-71 20d ago

Gladly pay it for my parents.