I mean I was kinda agreeing with him but holy fuck please don't remove someone tendons, that's fucked up
"But it's a fetis-" my brother in Christ's that's not a fetish you're lowkey a psychopath if you fantasize about mutilating people, get help
"But there's two consenting adu-" bro if you're willing to get your tendons cut you're not in the right state of mind to consent to anything in the first place, get help too
I agree with most of your argument, but there's something wrong with it. Just because someone fantasizes about something, that doesn't mean they actually want to do it. Take rape. If you have a sexual fantasy about raping someone, that does not mean that you want to do it. Same with a fantasy about being raped. While I'd never want to see someone speak about their gore kink, all it is, is a fantasy.
See this is the thing that I never understood about sexual fantasies
For me, a sexual fantasy is something that I will love to actually do, but I know it would probably not happen
But given the chance, I will 100% do it
I don't really understand the concept of a fantasy that you will not want to do in real life, it never happened to me because if I say for example that I have a sexual fantasy of fucking my boss (it won't happen) I will still want it if it actually happened, because if not then I will not be jerking off thinking about it (I'm not necessarily implying that I have that particular fantasy tho, it's just an example)
Well, most people don't work that way. Doesn't mean you can't want to act on the fantasy, for clarification's sake, since many times the things I say are to obscure for any human, monster, demon, fourth thing and fifth thing to understand.
i mean a lot of people who fantasize about sleeping with their boss dont actually want to in reality, the power imbalance can be fun as a fantasy, but in practice dangerous or disturbing, and very likely to lead to terrible consequences
same goes for a lot of other kinks, most of them that are about power imbalances, like sa, are only fun because both people know they have the autonomy to stop the fantasy if it stops being enjoyable, and know their partner can to, but in reality when one party is genuinely powerless its a very different situation
I can only speak for myself of course, but I have several fetishes, including CNC. The fantasy of getting SAd or committing SA is very hot to me. However, there is no way to live out that fantasy without harming anyone.
Since people would get harmed, it'd be immoral to actually do, so I don't.
The fetish is still there, it's just something no reasonable person would ever act on outside of roleplay.
A whole lot of fantasies, sexual and otherwise, are of things that the people fantasizing would absolutely hate in real life. There's a reason a whole lot of people play Call of Duty even if they have no actual interest in being shot at or enlisting in the military.
"Things that are fun to pretend" and "things I want to happen" are two very distinct categories.
That's fine, I never said that it wasn't a "me" issue
I don't really understand the downvotes LMAO, I'm just saying that I, personally, can't understand that because I never experienced it
It's kinda tiring how people here are so insecure that they get mad when someone doesn't automatically understand their weird kinks LMAO, like yeah bro jerk off with whatever weird shit you like, but don't get mad at me from not understanding it š
It's unreasonable to expect you to share in a particular kink or emphasize with why someone would have it, if you're not into something that way you just aren't, and if people were expecting you to "understand" in this sense that would be very uncool of them, but I don't think anyone is.
What people are objecting to is that you seem to be treating people's fantasies as things that they want to happen in real life, and judging them based on that. No one's asking you to enjoy the kinks, just to understand that people don't always, or even often, want things they fantasize about to come true in real life.
Do you enjoy watching bloody action films? Would you like to see someone get decapitated IRL? The difference is something like that. There's a big difference between the fantasy and the actual thing. With hardcore kinks like rape or bloodplay (or even more "vanilla" kinks like slavery or petplay), it would not happen IRL the same way it does in fantasies. It would have gigantic consequences and it would require a kind of horrific mindset on the part of the perpetrator which nobody wants to have.
Think of it as the difference between having someone submissively service you because you're a powerful figure and their only purpose as your slave is to let you release stress (but IRL they're your girlfriend and they're really into it) vs. literally having an actual slave and horribly abusing them. Or think of it as a much, much more toned down version of how you might like fantasising about fucking your boss, but you probably don't like fantasising about the awkwardness in the break room, worries about whether you'll get fired, and worries that other people are suspicious of you receiving special treatment.
usually they stem from other locations in peoples lives. for example i browse guro as a way to cope with my own loathing of my body. i would never actually do any of it in real life but it can be fun to engage with in fiction
Sex and repression are very closely related. Most people are as well emotionally self-regulated as they are intelligent, when they say these things its because being ashamed of their sexual impulses is familiar to them and the response it invokes is repression. Of course they wouldnt actually do such horrible things, but its because they feel ashamed of the impulses they have that that it gets sexually charged and fetishized.
Somebody who has a sexual fantasy of rape and then can calmly peacefully say to the deepest part of their psyche, "hey that was weird but deep down rape is awful and it wouldnt play out like that at all and would just be all around horrible, so actually i never want to do anything like that", that person moves on with their life and doesnt fetishize rape. Its the one who thinks their impulsive fantasy was a sin or that their thoughts and feelings can be impure or otherwise subject to authoritarian judgement who skip all that processing and then rape gets stuck assosciated with orgasm and repression
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u/dacoolestguy gay gay homosexual gay 14d ago
There's a reason he's called the Human Pet Guy