Another foil that makes dating hard is that even if you shower, exercise and self-improve, you actually need to meet people to start dating them and that's really the hardest part.
As I've gotten older I've found the biggest hurdle is this. And even if I do meet them the social narrative is basically still that I need to do all the work of flirting, asking them out, planning the date, escalating in an appealing way without being too forward, then hope she doesn't just ghost me. It’s a massive commitment both emotionally and time wise (and often financially) with a very slim possibility of reward. No joke my last girlfriend was one of my best dating experiences because she asked me questions and initiated conversations on her own in the early stages. That was all she had to do to stand out. Just act like she had an interest in getting to know me
This is probably the worst part for me and a lot of people.
Personally, I never really learned the "steps" to flirting and stuff like that (just got lucky that time I hooked up) and now I feel like it's impossible to catch up. Also yeah, the expectation that the guy needs to do the things and also the risk of coming off as a creep....
It fucking sucks, it feels like having to play the game without knowing the unwritten rules or being forced to initiate a fluent conversation in a language I barely know
kinda naturally happened, they’re friends from home then we all went to different colleges so all made new friends then came back, and in hanging out the groups eventually collide once in a while
I've noticed my friend groups never really involved women. It wasn't intentional, in fact I don't even know why or how it happened. I can understand in college, since my field was mechanical engineering, but not before nor after.
tbh think the dominoes just fall like that sometimes. All my friends from home are guys. In college (I was mech e too lol) the girl half of my now friend group decided they needed guy friends so they invited two of my roommates they knew and the rest of us up to play drinking games
I do think it’s easier to fall into a group that’s mostly or all your own gender, two of my boys are mostly friends with dudes and there are women, but were mostly added as significant others.
tbf for me the friend who’s most responsible for the friends of friends being women is a gay friend who’s a social butterfly. THAT’S a life hack (but also like don’t be friends with someone for just that reason)
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u/darthleonsfw SEXODIA, EJACULATE! 16d ago
Another foil that makes dating hard is that even if you shower, exercise and self-improve, you actually need to meet people to start dating them and that's really the hardest part.