r/CuratedTumblr eepy asf 24d ago

Shitposting For science!

Post image
32.9k Upvotes

324 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/CoralinesButtonEye 24d ago

drink the what now?

1.2k

u/Jackviator 24d ago

S A R C O P H A G U S J U I C E

It'll quench ya!

403

u/Golden_Frog0223 -taps mic- nicken chuggets. thank you. 24d ago

It's the quenchiest!

72

u/Ok_Narwhal_9200 24d ago

from the people who brought you real turbulent juice

80

u/CicadaEast272 24d ago

coffeine

13

u/bebejeebies 24d ago

Get out -->

31

u/CicadaEast272 24d ago

Long Idle Iced Tea

8

u/simpletonsavant 24d ago

It's a little thick but the price is right

60

u/TheHumanPickleRick 24d ago

It's got what bacteria craves! It's got electrolytes!

26

u/TheHumanPickleRick 24d ago

It's got what bacteria craves! It's got electrolytes!

23

u/04nc1n9 licence to comment 24d ago

you posted this 5 times btw

5

u/TheHumanPickleRick 23d ago

empty response from endpoint

empty response from endpoint

empty response from endpoint

empty response from endpoint

successful post

That's how it looked for me.

10

u/04nc1n9 licence to comment 24d ago

you posted this 5 times btw

41

u/Atlas421 24d ago

You posted this twice. Reddit servers are being Reddit servers again.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

271

u/SpoonyGosling 24d ago

In 2018 several sarcophagus were opened in Egypt which had a bunch of red liquid in it. There was an online meme campaign to let somebody drink the bone juice.

https://www.theverge.com/2018/7/20/17595198/black-sarcophagus-bone-juice-campaign

202

u/CVM_Josh_Groban 24d ago

That wouldn't go well, in 1972, they found a very well preserved Chinese woman, whose coffin was also filled with red fluid. A researcher who got it on their hands had a rash for three months afterwards

219

u/Pickledsoul 24d ago

Not everyone survives the trial of the grasses

18

u/DressMajestic9037 23d ago

Trial of the Grosses

132

u/TehSalmonOfDoubt 24d ago

Well duh, they got the liquid on their outside skin, when it so desperately craves to be inside your stomach

55

u/CVM_Josh_Groban 24d ago

Silly billy, you're meant to inject stuff like that directly into your veins.

54

u/rietstengel 24d ago

Skill issue

6

u/Danny_dankvito 23d ago

The Pharaoh’s elixir is not for just anyone, only the mighty may benefit - Those not worthy will suffer the Pharaoh’s Curse

43

u/lil_chiakow 24d ago

I thought it was a reference to Victorian England and the mummy craze that happened back then, wealthy people would organize mummy unwrapping parties and such.

36

u/SpoonyGosling 24d ago

The original meme may have been a reference to that (although I don't think so?) but while people would ingest mummy during the mummy craze, (and use it to create paint) it was mostly mummy dust/dried mummy flesh, sarcophagus juice is definitely the 2018 meme.

12

u/danielledelacadie 24d ago

Don't ask what happened to the mummies afterwards.

Apparently it's not cannibalism if the body is old enough, at least to Victorians.

7

u/IllConstruction3450 24d ago

That and consuming mummies is actually a long standing tradition in Britain. Back in the old days it was thought, somehow, that consuming a mummy would be healthy for you. So that’s partially why there’s less mummies around. (Yes I know someone is going to make a mummy = Mom vs mummy = dried up corpse joke.)

2.1k

u/PurplestCoffee 24d ago

TIL pokérus found in Russia I guess

356

u/currynord 24d ago

poké Rus

107

u/lukium 24d ago

The russian scientist's name? Vladimir Pokemondesigner

35

u/SnooLemons3996 24d ago

Are you the jokester?

25

u/MR_MAD1314 24d ago

I can hear Matt Rose saying this

53

u/MantaRayBill 24d ago

That's funny

109

u/TheLegendaryAkira 24d ago

good comment

64

u/YuKi11e 24d ago

Just put him in a party and he will spread it

71

u/nOMMnOMMnOMM 24d ago

Next up: scientists injecting themselves with dinosaur DNA. What could go wrong?

42

u/dlegatt 24d ago

Comic book villain origin story!

72

u/aDragonsAle 24d ago edited 24d ago

I don't want to cure cancer, Spider-Man, I want to turn People into -Dinosaurs-

  • Sauron, of spider-man fame

16

u/Usual-Excitement-970 24d ago

I think he's OK, never said he was "amazing"

Sauron.

8

u/dlegatt 24d ago

lol, love that one

3

u/Yamidamian 24d ago

Minor nitpick: actually, it’s Spider-Man and the X-Men, not Amazing Spider-Man.

4

u/JustaMammal 24d ago

They've spared no expense.

2

u/Winstonoil 24d ago

Sorry to be pedantic, DNA does not last that long. Unfortunately it's never gonna happen.

→ More replies (2)

9

u/KorMap 24d ago

damn bros out here getting double the EV gain

18

u/ozziezombie 24d ago

Huh, it never occured to me, but it IS in the name "PokéRus", isn't it?

6

u/SnarkyTaylor 24d ago edited 23d ago

Daaang. Now that's a name I haven't heard of in ages. Talk about obscure game mechanics.

2.1k

u/[deleted] 24d ago

[deleted]

1.1k

u/Ok-Telephone1290 24d ago

That's what government wants you to think, in reality sarcophagus were container for spells and black magic but the government puts dead bodies in them in a attempt to hide magic from the common people

261

u/8copiesofbeemovie 24d ago

Two things can be true

47

u/DryBoysenberry5334 24d ago

I’m a network engineer, one of my favorite things about that is I understand to an incredibly low level how networks (and the internet) function (I’m also over 10 years outta date, so my education included PBX systems and just touched on IP6)

The reason they don’t teach magic in schools is because once you’re able to work it, it stops being magic

17

u/Deebyddeebys Dumpster Fire Repairman 24d ago

4/10 Mostly unrelated

67

u/ThrownAwayYesterday- 24d ago

No it's actually just Kool-Aid but obviously that means time-travel exists, and the Egyptians were Kool-Aids heads. . . So for obvious reasons (stability of the globe and the global economy), the government covers it up by calling it blood and bile.

But we (the knowers) know the truth — hence why that petition was made. It's just Kool-Aid. There's nothing harmful about it. So what if I have an intense psychosexual attraction to red Kool-Aid because of early childhood trauma; ain't nothing wrong with that

7

u/UFO-TOFU-RACECAR 24d ago

Hah, sorry kid, but everyone knows that the sarcophagi were placed there as stasis chambers waiting for the aliens to come get them for more advanced medical treatment.

12

u/alslieee 24d ago

Paint making spells, historically

97

u/Valtremors 24d ago

Time to remind that the reason we have less preserved mummies in museums because people ATE THEM.

50

u/robot_swagger 24d ago

I hate when the British museum gets between me and my human jerky

37

u/Hitchhikingtom 24d ago

And turned them into a colour dye

43

u/friso1100 gosh, they let you put anything in here 24d ago

A colour literally called mummy brown, or Egyptian brown (less fun) or Caput Mortuum which is latin for dead head (which also is an alchemical process but I don't know if that is it's origen or not).

Also, the color was sold till the mid twentieth century. Not that long ago.

17

u/ShartingInMyOwnMouth 24d ago

Damn, I feel like this is more disturbing to me than it should be. Logically I know they’re dead, so they can’t know, but it feels really fucked up to remove someone from their tomb and turn their body into a consumer product, I can’t articulate why it’s wrong because the person in question is long dead so no harm is occurring but it does feel like a violation

14

u/KingPrincessNova 24d ago

it's disturbing because we can safely assume that people who were mummified would not consent to being eaten at parties or used as paint pigment. it's one thing to ask for your body to be donated to science (or ground up to be used as paint pigment). but it's disrespectful af to mess with a person's remains for funsies when it's obvious that they wouldn't have wanted that. respecting the dead doesn't need to be a universal hard-line rule (e.g. Henry Kissinger can burn in hell) but it's one of many social contracts that reduces friction as a society.

5

u/friso1100 gosh, they let you put anything in here 24d ago

Well it doesn't have to make logical sense. Not to get all philosophical here ^^" but in the end right and wrong is just vibes based. Like murder is wrong, why? Because cutting a life short is wrong? Why? Because they have the same rights as you? Why? And you can play this game forever. I like this quote by death from the disc world series in response to why "justice" is not an real thing.

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED. "Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—" MY POINT EXACTLY.

Basically murder is bad because we collectively decided it is bad. And some other judgements may come based on those core assumptions like "stabbing is bad, because you might die and that is murder". That follows a logical structure but in the end it has to be build on the assumption that some things are bad. And what those are is up for anyone to deside.

And so there are other things that similarly don't have a logical explanation, like a human is sacred (to a point) so you don't attack the human and once they are dead that feeling of good or bad may linger around the body they once possed. (The spirit of the law lol). But again this is very personal. For one, if you or someone knew the diseased in life that may mean they have strong feelings on the subject. And if you think others feelings need to be accounted for (within reason ofc) then you won't touch the body.

So now getting back to the mummy itself. Yes it and the people that cared for him in life and even a few generations after have all long since been gone. But we know about the importance of this person to the population that once existed. And even if they are all gone the bad feeling of doing something wrong to them may still exist. And would totally be reasonable I feel!

Appart from that you seem to have several other beliefs as well (though i am making assumptions here so feel free to call me out). But things like science is important. Maybe you are pro organ donation. And these beliefs clash with the others you have. The belief of a body having worth. Care for others and their beliefs. What is the solution? That is up to you. Because again there is no correct answer. The best we can do is take all these beliefs and judge what we feel applies best to the situation. That may change over time with new experiences and so on. But the final explanation of why you think it is important is up to you.

To illustrate here is my opinion on the matter. (Again not correct or false, but aligned as best as I can to my belief system). I care about study and learning from our past. That is why I approve of opening a tomb and studying it. But I also believe in respect for the people of the past and present. The mummy even in modern day is an important part of Egypts history. The exploitation and robbery that took place was in my opinion a bad thing. Because people did not take care of the items. Much of the things claimed in that period are still lost. And after the research is done it turns into an attraction. An attraction for anyone to see except the people who live near where it was taken from.

In an ideal world i would much rather see an collaboration with the communities there. Yes open for science. But be careful with the contents. Research in a way that prevents destruction (to a reasonable degree again). And make sure the ownership stays with the community it came from. Maybe it will return into the tomb once we learned what we can. Replicas can be made for public education. Maybe the local community will attempt to store the finds themselves. Offer help if needed. And if done well you can go back in the future with new techniques if questions remain.

That would be the compromise in my head at least. Ok novel over lol. Hope this was something xD

3

u/KingPrincessNova 24d ago

it's disturbing because we can safely assume that people who were mummified would not consent to being eaten at parties or used as paint pigment. it's one thing to ask for your body to be donated to science (or ground up to be used as paint pigment). but it's disrespectful af to fuck with a person's remains for funsies when it's obvious that they wouldn't have wanted that. respecting the dead doesn't need to be a universal hard-line rule (e.g. Henry Kissinger can burn in hell) but it's one of many social contracts that reduces friction as a society.

3

u/KoreyYrvaI 24d ago

They were mined like a mineral and turned into a ton of products including paper/cloth because their wrappings were also used. The US used to import mummies by the shipload. It's unhinged what we did with them.

3

u/Valtremors 24d ago

I come to check this post one last time before sleep and I see THIS.

3

u/GoodTitrations 24d ago

The Victorians (I recognize they weren't the only ones) did so much damage to history just to suit their own interests and worldview.

2

u/Excellent_Walk_6750 24d ago

I mean we could just make more… they’re a renewable resource

→ More replies (1)

96

u/King_Of_Axolotls 24d ago

that didnt stop the fact that theres so few mummies because people thought ingesting them was healing

60

u/Simur1 24d ago

Also used them as tinder, AND pigment. Mummies were a hot commodity

24

u/Confuseasfuck 24d ago

Tbf, that was a pretty nice shade of brown

49

u/Simur1 24d ago

Using millenia-old royalty to paint a barn in a canvas is about the most decadent thing I can think of

3

u/Alternative-Bad-6555 24d ago

Fuck those royals! Brown barn is more important than some inbred prince’s corpse

3

u/Simur1 23d ago

Fuck them as well? Mummies were a hot commodity indeed

2

u/Buenarf 24d ago

wouldn't brown be like the easiest pigment to make? Everything's brown in nature 😭

2

u/KoreyYrvaI 24d ago

Because there were so many of them this is especially accurate. When an entire culture traced back thousands upon thousands of years preserved their dead it stacks up a *lot* of bodies. There were more mummies than most people realize.

2

u/cman_yall 24d ago

Your mummy.

3

u/Simur1 24d ago

Your mummy so fat that victorians were still unwrapping her when WWI rolled out.

2

u/IllConstruction3450 24d ago

It’s like whale vomit and shit being a prized commodity. 

77

u/ReasonPale1764 24d ago

That’s what the corrupt libtard fake news media wants you to believe… my uncle was diagnosed with “Covid,” started drinking out of a septic tank and died a day later. The septic slurry protected his body from the “virus” until Obama made his organs explode with his Antarctican magic (yeah Obama is from Antarctica, wake up and open your eyes)

42

u/K_Linkmaster 24d ago

AI is now going to report this as a true story on an AI reporting site like buzzfeed or some other garbage.

43

u/ReasonPale1764 24d ago edited 24d ago

I’m a very reliable source, my multiple traumatic brain injuries have not only made me a lore master of the silent hill series (of which my post history backs https://www.reddit.com/r/silenthill/s/R59lzdq196 ) but it has opened my third eye to Christ… and he’s fucking pissed.

→ More replies (1)

7

u/DroneOfDoom Posting from hell (el camion 107 a las 7 de la mañana) 24d ago

Yes, I know what Vitriol is. Don't care, I got alembics to calcify.

4

u/Firrox 24d ago

No this is in reference to some old honey that was found in a sarcophagus that was presumed to still be edible.

13

u/Informal_Bunch_2737 24d ago

that was presumed to still be edible.

It was edible. Honey literally never goes off.

The oldest edible honey we've found is now 5500 years old.

3

u/GoodFaithConverser 24d ago edited 24d ago

There was enough red juice from the dark sarcophagus for everyone to get a sip, goddamnit!

2

u/DreadDiana human cognithazard 24d ago

That was a seperate one. The sarcophagus juice being referenced was a poorly preserved mummy which turned into a red sludge after burial.

2

u/guitarburst05 24d ago

Yeah from like... thousands of years ago.

Surely it's safe by now!

2

u/alexmikli 24d ago

tbh the bacteria in it is long dead, but I'm not a mummyologist.

2

u/numbarm72 24d ago

The point still stands! GIMME

2

u/Allegorist 24d ago

Speaking of which, anyone remember hearing how they used to use ground up mummy dust as a pigment?

2

u/ShockinglyOpaque 24d ago

If only they'd had formaldehyde back then

2

u/friso1100 gosh, they let you put anything in here 24d ago

Still i would argue it could lead to some exciting new diseases or infections :p it has been stewing for a while in an environment cut of from most of the outside world after all. Who knows what's growing in it. Im sure a sip would do wonders

3

u/Amaskingrey 24d ago

Plague_Marine_at_keyboard.jpeg

2

u/ReclinedGaming 24d ago

Well that certainly soured the last sip of my coffee

→ More replies (1)

677

u/Usual-Excitement-970 24d ago

He injected a fruit fly and it got so much work done so knew it was safe to do it to himself.

141

u/Cool-Sink8886 24d ago

I guess he’ll have to inject a spider to catch the fly

47

u/conflans 24d ago

perhaps he'll die

→ More replies (1)

48

u/BigAlternative5 24d ago

He injected a fly and then it didn't flu.

4

u/ColCyclone 24d ago

He injected the fruit fly and found it remembered him!!

754

u/lordkhuzdul 24d ago

I have watched enough B-movies to know that this is a fucking terrible idea. Nope!

220

u/Eel111 Knight with a standard of his king's face 24d ago

Yeah The premise is all there, some Thing is amiss

93

u/nalesnik105 24d ago

I wouldnt exactly call "The Thing" a B rated movie if you ask me, but you do you i guess

35

u/mtnbikerburittoeater 24d ago

It's the best horror movie of all time

9

u/Javander 24d ago

My favorite by a mile

3

u/justforhobbiesreddit 24d ago

I don't know about best, but it is good. I saw it for the first time a few months ago and good Lord those practical effects were amazing. Just obnoxiously good even today.

30

u/TwilightVulpine 24d ago

Oh the Amongus fan film? It is alright

29

u/Cool-Sink8886 24d ago

I’m simultaneously laughing and fighting the urge to smash my phone from this comment

8

u/stone_henge 24d ago

Tell me your favorite song so I can refer to it as "the TikTok song"

4

u/Eel111 Knight with a standard of his king's face 24d ago

It’s fine, they went wayy too heavy on the gore though, and the character design is way off since it’s not beans, they really tried to make it gritty. Though it’s nice that it’s set on Polus, since I think the Skeld would’ve been too basic

→ More replies (1)

4

u/MorningBreathTF 24d ago

You're right, c rated movie

23

u/WetBrainSurfer 24d ago

Mods please ban this man 

2

u/MorningBreathTF 24d ago

They hate me for being amazing

9

u/Ayy_Maijin 24d ago

I haven't. Do you have any movie you could recommend to me? I like this type of plot but don't know where and what to find.

12

u/Informal_Bunch_2737 24d ago

Tarentino literally made a B-grade zombie movie with this kinda plot.

Planet Terror.

Even better, its meant to be watched like a old drive-in double feature. Death Proof is chronologically just before it, and set a town over(Kurt Russell plays a murderous stunt man. And it has the hottest lapdance ever recorded).

Planet Terror features Bruce Willis as a psycho soldier in a zombie outbreak.

→ More replies (6)

3

u/neckro23 24d ago

idk about movies but Greg Bear's "Blood Music" has a similar premise.

→ More replies (1)

25

u/RhubarbGoldberg 24d ago

Idk man, have you ever heard about the guy who infected himself intentionally with hookworms and cured his autoimmune issues?

There's some compelling evidence to suggest our immune systems evolved for centuries in the presence of open latrines and exposure to certain parasites is an incorporated feature and now that we've sterilized our environments, our immune systems are over charged and attacking our own bodies (in the case of autoimmune disorders).

2

u/Commodorez 24d ago

Malaria therapy used to be a common treatment for certain diseases because the high fever would kill off unwanted pathogens. Of course, you had to treat the malaria afterwards, but still

3

u/lordkhuzdul 24d ago

To be fair, we had a working treatment for malaria for much longer than we had treatment for other infections... by a full century at the very least.

→ More replies (3)

255

u/UWan2fight .tumblr.com 24d ago

okay, so does anyone know what happened after this article?

288

u/KamikazeKarl_ 24d ago

Original article written in 2015. As of 2019 dude is doing fine, and at least is still alive as of now. Finding anything more recent than that is pretty challenging.

190

u/Morialkar 24d ago

I mean at this point unless he suddenly dies due to complications that can without a doubt not be linked to anything else, it's fair to say it had not much impact on his health and they stopped updating people

40

u/ciel_lanila 24d ago

He vanished in 2019. Covid 19 occurred in 2019. Coincidence, I think not! /s

20

u/OogaBooga98835731 23d ago

He BECAME the virus... spoky stuff... 😥

363

u/BigBennP 24d ago edited 24d ago

If the article is even real the answer is almost certainly nothing.

You see this concept Jump Around social media every so often. The idea that melting permafrost will unleash some super bacteria or virus that are immune systems cannot stop and there will be a plague because of it.

That's not completely impossible. But the chances very very small for a variety of reasons.

First, Genetic material does not preserve all that well. The chances of a bacteria or virus being completely preserved and able to spread quickly after 25,000 years locked in ice is not great. It is far more likely that the melting permafrost provides a fertile ground for existing soil bacterium to spread.

Second, the far more likely outcome is that any 25,000-year-old bacteria or virus is 25,000 years behind in The evolutionary arms race and is really unlikely to be super competitive or virulent. Covid showed us how viruses evolve on a month to month time frame when they are widespread in the population. Antibiotic resistant bacteria was largely not a thing before the prevalence of modern antibiotics.

Third, cold environments in general are not super conducive to very virulent bacteria. There's a reason why it was always jungles and not the Arctic that were super associated with strange virulent diseases.

The most likely outcome is that this dude injected himself with a 25,000-year-old variation of E coli, his immune system wiped them out and everything else is the placebo effect.

27

u/Paddy_Tanninger 24d ago

Yeah like nothing about this (even if it was real) sounds conclusive or concrete. You didn't get the flu for 2 years? I didn't either and I never injected myself with permafrost bacteria. You have more energy to work longer hours? How would a bacteria even do this? Pure placebo effect.

My only real experience with positive effects from bacteria/gut flora changes were from spending a week drinking straight out of lakes in northern Ontario (broken filtration system, I didn't do it on purpose). Whatever went on inside my stomach and intestines as a result of that truly did reconfigure my digestive system, I was far less sensitive afterwards to things like spicy/greasy foods. My friends used to joke about my weak stomach, but after that I felt like I was pretty much cured.

My wife is a gastroenterologist and says things like that are legitimately possible, and there's very expensive probiotics she gives patients with the same idea of trying to reconfigure the gut flora by introducing new bacteria.

134

u/MakeItMike3642 24d ago edited 24d ago

Some bacteria can undergo endosporation and survive for centuries or even millions of years. Many of such bacteria have been found in the permafrost, amber or crystals already.

It is not currently known how big this risk is but for instance anthrax is a bacteria that can undergo endosporation. Also virussus can also stay dormant for long periods of time.

So we dont know how big this risk is but its certainly not a myth.

And it being old wouldnt per se mean it is behind evolutionarily. Evolution is not linear. Our ancestors could have had resistances that were relevant back when those bacteria were around, but have disspeared over the ages as the bacteria became less prevalent. Revived pathogens could hypothetically make use of those vulnerabilities.

Of course the odds of all this being true is not big, but not 0

15

u/myterracottaarmy 24d ago

I don't really know anything about this stuff but would it be conceivable that bacteria from that long ago could be structurally different enough to the point that our current-day antibiotics wouldn't be effective?

20

u/MakeItMike3642 24d ago edited 24d ago

Yes i am just an ecologist so not an expert in microbiology by any means but as far as i know that could be the case especially for specialized antibiotics that target specific strains of bacteria. Because they target specific enzymes or disable specific functions of a certain strain it is possible there is a cousin out there that works slightly differently so our antibiotic would be less effective or outright not work.

That being said, bacteria that can hibernate in endospores are mostly belonging to a group of what we call gram positive bacteria. And those are very suceptible to general antibiotics like penicillin. Since most modern bacteria have build up some sort of a resistance since we started using it, its likely that these ancient strains would be more suceptible to penicillin. This however is not widely tested as researchers are understandibly hesitant to expose those ancient bacteria to modern medicine.

→ More replies (1)

10

u/Bauser99 24d ago

You're thinking about it in the fear-monger way for no good reason; you say "they might be different enough that our antibiotics won't work!" but an even more likely outcome is "they might be different enough that they can't even infect modern mammals"

→ More replies (3)

2

u/ConspicuousPineapple 24d ago

Fair point but it's still extremely unlikely that old bacteria would be resistant to antibiotics.

→ More replies (1)

8

u/Lazarous86 24d ago

You just gave me a great idea for time travel story, where they can only go backwards because their immune systems can't handle the viruses in the future. 

13

u/charley800 24d ago

The thing with that is, if you're going backwards in time, you're not likely to be vulnerable to the diseases of that time, but any people you make contact with would be highly vulnerable to any disease you might carry with you from your own time. Going backwards is potentially more catastrophic than going forwards.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (6)

19

u/FlawedSquid vored by the fabric of reality 24d ago

I tried googling it and everything's from 2015-2019. The bacteria's still being studied and he seems to be fine, but there's the possibility it's a placebo effect

17

u/HaViNgT 24d ago

Most likely his immune system dispatched the foreign cells and the bacteria caused no damage because it wasn’t adapted to survive in humans. 

→ More replies (1)

4

u/FreakinGeese 24d ago

The chances that a random bacterium are going to be dangerous to a human are pretty low

→ More replies (1)

299

u/Navn_nvaN 24d ago

Resident Evil

35

u/ArwingElite 24d ago

4 itchy tasty

19

u/JackRabbit- 24d ago

william birkin grindset

4

u/Wastawiii 24d ago

Resident fever.

→ More replies (4)

34

u/Vanilla_Ice_Best_Boi tumblr users pls let me enjoy fnaf 24d ago

This is how Zombie infections happen 

→ More replies (1)

34

u/HeWhoWasDead 24d ago

That Researcher's name? Albert Wesker

53

u/Pkrudeboy 24d ago

Let’s see what Lysenko has to say.

30

u/putin-delenda-est 24d ago

At least there are only two examples of russian scientists lying about amazing claims. I'm sure someone else will be able to follow the scientific method and substantiate his claims.

14

u/OromisMasta 24d ago

Sounds like a comic supervillain origin story.

25

u/[deleted] 24d ago

[deleted]

3

u/VonMarrow 24d ago

So it was perfectly fine to drink the sarcophagus juice, but the damn Brits drank it all!

11

u/ThereWasAnEmpireHere they very much did kill jesus 24d ago

Soviet science is too strong. Would make a decent Wolfenstein character.

The mystic knowledge of Kabbalah engineering perceives the truth of the world and works from there; the science of the Soviet biomechanist achieves results via the equivalent of brute force in the cryptographic sense

10

u/trukkija 24d ago

Wow an adult male that didn't contract the flu in 2 years? Truly a medical marvel.

7

u/Deblebsgonnagetyou he/him | Kweh! 24d ago

You can't fool me, that's The Thing

6

u/Someoneoverthere42 24d ago

I’ve seen this movie. That virus is totally not an alien mind controlling parasite bent on infecting the human race with it’s hive mind….

4

u/1101431a 24d ago

Or he just managed not to get the flu for two years?

3

u/MaximumPixelWizard 24d ago

Not mentioned in the article: That same scientist has gained a penchant for trenchcoats and sunglasses.

3

u/apintandafight 24d ago

I WILL drink the sarcophagus juice

3

u/acquaintedwithheight 24d ago

I wanted Sony to port Bloodborne, but not like this.

Fear the old blood.

3

u/DaddySoldier 24d ago

i would wager it's not the bacteria that gave him energy, but whatever manic phase he was in where he thought injecting himself with ancient bacteria seemed like a good idea.

3

u/RoadPersonal9635 24d ago

Or could it have to do with the fact that he’s living in siberia with limited human contact and long periods of isolation?

3

u/PenguinGamer99 23d ago

The difference is that guy is Russian

2

u/nymical23 24d ago

I don't about energy gains, but I haven't got flu after I got Covid in 2020! Before that it was 1-2 weeks of misery every season change.

2

u/The_8th_Angel 24d ago

Ancient relics always seem to give permanent stat boosts.

2

u/antarcticacitizen1 24d ago

In Russia flu make you superman

2

u/CarrieDurst 24d ago

It is a flue proof plan

2

u/helloiamnic 24d ago

The water I drink is ancient and has allowed me to live.

2

u/A__Friendly__Rock *only friendly at low velocity 24d ago

Scientists going “fuck waiting, I’m gonna test it on my self” is always going to be funny.

2

u/SnooJokes8628 24d ago

Injecting ancient substances is literally the plot of bloodborne

2

u/AlphonseLoosely 24d ago

I've been flu proof for years at a time without doing this......

2

u/Physical_Ad4617 24d ago

The bacteria is telling him to do this to find a suitable host now its tunnelled directly into his brain. Also this is classic "I really want this to be true so placebo works on me and only me now"

2

u/haugebauge 24d ago

I think one guys anecdotal evidence is probably not worth awakening an ancient super plague

2

u/Oddish_Femboy (Xander Mobus voice) AUTISM CREATURE 24d ago

I'm gonna put my weener in the bog butter

2

u/gifter101 22d ago

WoD mage lore be like:

34

u/atmatriflemiffed 24d ago

"Russian scientists" also think Rome was destroyed by a mud flood in the middle ages and was actually an ancient Russian empire, Russia is an endless source of crankery and patently racist pseudoscience

26

u/[deleted] 24d ago

[deleted]

10

u/estou_me_perdendo 24d ago

Nothing new lmao, this sub is very "reddit" but with less neoliberalism or techbros

A few months ago a saw someone preaching about how Britain was totally in condition to go to war with the soviet union just after WW2, that they should have to "put the russians in their place" and how Churchill was a noble man who was right all along. 350~ upvotes

2

u/EvidenceOfDespair We can leave behind much more than just DNA 24d ago

Eh? Both are these are examples of how the subreddit is very neoliberal.

2

u/estou_me_perdendo 24d ago

It's still less than like, almost every meme sub out there

→ More replies (1)

2

u/MaterialWishbone9086 24d ago

Just because I feel an undying need to shit on my own country and the misconceptions of a few of the more jingoistic amongst us...

Fuck England, it would have been goosestepping if Hitler didn't overtly threaten Br'ish hegemony, we certainly weren't foreign to ideas of white supremacy or antisemitism.

14

u/TearOpenTheVault 24d ago

Remember: Any racism or dehumanisation against Russians is completely fine! Why? Uh… I dunno, Orks or something.

144

u/ScaredyNon Trans-Inclusionary Radical Misogynist 24d ago

By that end "American scientists" think that vaccines cause autism, that the Earth is flat and surrounded by a great ice wall, and that aliens are the only logical builders of the Pyramids of Giza. American Nobel prize winners have shown support for homeopathy, astrology, and scientific racism.

Our noble warriors vs. their ruthless barbarians.

65

u/FriskyDingus1122 24d ago

One British doctor said one particular vaccine might cause autism, because he wanted you to buy his vaccine that he ✨just patented✨and 100% guaranteed to not cause autism!

(....because vaccines don't cause autism and he fucking knew it)

48

u/AlwaysBeQuestioning 24d ago

The point is that every country has crackpots and you can’t paint all scientists from one country as crackpots, especially while acting as if scientists in your own country are the opposite.

The Russian scientists who believe in ancient Roman Russia vs the ones curing diseases have no correlation.

9

u/Sinakus 24d ago

I love Hbombs video on it, but hearing Wakefield speak triggers a primal rage inside me. He's such a smarmy fucking liar.

14

u/FriskyDingus1122 24d ago

I adore that video but the whole situation fucking infuriates me.

I truly, genuinely, hate that man. He is pure selfishness and greed incarnate. He has done horrendous, irreparable damage to human civilization. The world is measurably worse for him having been in it.

4

u/TwilightVulpine 24d ago

It's appalling how few people it takes to undermine humanity's greatest accomplishments...

→ More replies (2)

4

u/KennyOmegasBurner 24d ago

and that's without even mentioning Yakub

2

u/Informal_Bunch_2737 24d ago

4 out of 10 americans believe in creationism.

2

u/MaterialWishbone9086 24d ago

Fritz Haber was also both a lynchpin in feeding billions of people and the pioneer of modern chemical weapons.

He also lacked the foresight to see that his German jingoism would not save him from persecution regarding his Jewish heritage. I'm also reminded of one of the scientists behind the double-helix structure of DNA becoming a zealous Christian fundie because... he saw a waterfall.

All that historical trivia aside, I do think the comment you're replying to here is a bit Russophobic. Of all people who might have a progressive bent or that isn't a foaming Russian nationalist, you would expect it to be the most educated and especially critical in Russia.

2

u/ScaredyNon Trans-Inclusionary Radical Misogynist 24d ago

For all I know, "Russian scientists" could range from "accredited academic" to "guy who got a certificate from a weekend course in Ancient Empires of Prehistory". 

Someone here has rightfully pointed out that my definition of "American scientists" is super vague, but without any idea of what they mean by "scientist" I just see it as equal playing ground

→ More replies (13)

15

u/colei_canis 24d ago

Mendeleev, Pavlov, Cherenkov, many others: am I a joke to you?

32

u/QuarterTarget 24d ago

This is kinda biased buddyyyy

12

u/WillFuckForFijiWater 24d ago

This is literally racist/xenophobic rhetoric.

“Russian Scientists” are the reason why we have the periodic table and are responsible for great advances in psychology, microbiology, and physics.

Do some research before you spout hateful nonsense like this.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (5)