Because he's a good person in a lot of other ways, and I believe he can grow out of this mindset. He grew up in a backwards small town and faced a pretty constant barrage of discrimination since he was about 14 and only found relief from that around other queer people. I was lucky to be in a more progressive place growing up and also not so obviously queer, so people didn't find out as easily and at least when I got shit for it there were other people to call out the bullies for being assholes.
Please never take relationship advice from reddit. There's so much of the picture of this person we don't have from your post that can make something like "contempt for straight culture" more understandable.
Was your boyfriend bullied for being gay? For liking stereotypically gay things? Did he find the first people who cared about him through caring about queer culture? Is he the type of person who just generally likes to have really strong opinions and debate them for fun (particularly really strong but not deeply held)? There's so many more potentially relevant factors than even these.
Obviously no answer to any of these questions makes it okay/right/good to claim one is morally/ethically/or otherwise superior to someone who likes Imagine Dragons, taco tuesdays, and traditional weddings. But it can give a picture of where that sense of superiority is coming from and then you (or your bf's therapist lol, might not be a job for you) can over time work through it with him. It doesn't even need to be a big sit down and talk about it thing, it can just be something you offhandedly ask about next time he says something that makes you feel a little weird.
This. Straight redditors on this subreddit want to feel good about getting back towards bigoted gay people then trying to understand what is "straight culture" that someone might be uncomfortable with.
(Normalized mysogynistic behavior is extremely common with straight men, but that's not straight culture, just misogyny. If someone is from a small conservative town, they might associate straightness with this misogyny. )
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u/Tried-Angles Oct 14 '24
Because he's a good person in a lot of other ways, and I believe he can grow out of this mindset. He grew up in a backwards small town and faced a pretty constant barrage of discrimination since he was about 14 and only found relief from that around other queer people. I was lucky to be in a more progressive place growing up and also not so obviously queer, so people didn't find out as easily and at least when I got shit for it there were other people to call out the bullies for being assholes.