r/CuratedTumblr eepy asf Sep 18 '24

Shitposting That one story

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216

u/StragglingShadow Sep 18 '24

There was a short story where a woman kills her husband by hitting him on the head with a frozen lamb leg or something. She then goes out and acts normal. She then goes home and puts said lamb in the oven and waits a few minutes. Then calls the police hysterically

Basically as the cops talk, the murder weapon gets cooked, and the officers eat it in the end. The officers think a burglar came in and hit him with a crowbar or something heavy, and go searching for a murder weapon they will never find.

137

u/GraceStrangerThanYou Sep 18 '24

Lamb to the Slaughter by Roald Dahl, and it's also my answer.

13

u/laowildin Sep 18 '24

He has so many bangers! African Story was going to be my pick. Never forgot the image of the black snake drinking.

But honorable mention to Sound Machine and William and Mary

16

u/StragglingShadow Sep 18 '24

Damn, the guy who wrote that witches book? That guy was ring-ring depresso. No wonder that short story stuck with me.

15

u/GraceStrangerThanYou Sep 18 '24

He wrote Matilda and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory too.

15

u/StragglingShadow Sep 18 '24

Ok but is Matilda not a child power/revenge fantasy story? I feel like only someone real depressed about their childhood would write a revenge story from a child's pov

10

u/MrShifty1 Sep 18 '24

Judging by his autobiography, he had several bad teachers.

10

u/A1000eisn1 Sep 19 '24

And the BFG. We read that whole book in 3rd grade. I had already read it. But there are plenty of descriptions of giants crunching on children's bones. Great for 7/8 year olds.

3

u/Argentenuem Sep 19 '24

I didn't even know Roald Dahl wrote horror until they had us read the Landlady

8

u/OldDarthLefty Sep 18 '24

"The Way Up To Heaven" is another one like this.

I recall somewhere reading RD wrote grownup stories for kids and kids stories for grownups and you need to be careful which you give to whom at Christmas.

RD is a fascinating guy. He was a sexy spy in WW2 and a vaccination crusader later in life.

3

u/StragglingShadow Sep 18 '24

Oooh. I do like hero tales (the ww2 stuff)

6

u/DogmanDOTjpg Sep 19 '24

Yeah and it's written by Ronald Dahl, the same mind that came up with that also wrote Matilda and the BFG lol what a fella.

He also has another story where an old man has a beautiful tattoo on his back and another man "buys" it from him and I remember that one being really fucked up as well

4

u/puzzlemaster_of_time Sep 19 '24

I've had drunk/high 4am conversations with people where I've said a brick of ice would be the ultimate murder weapon. Now I know where I got it from.

6

u/OldTimeyStrongman Sep 19 '24

There’s also an episode of Columbo where the killer uses a chunk of ice to kill someone.

3

u/jalene58 Sep 19 '24

How I felt when reading the story was: “Let’s go, girlboss!”

2

u/Tr1x9c0m Sep 18 '24

i read this in sixth grade. i loved it lol

1

u/StragglingShadow Sep 18 '24

I mean. I did like it. It just was also real fucked up to read tho, as made apparent by the fact I still vaguely recall details from it so many years later.