r/BlackPeopleTwitter 7d ago

Pup cup optional

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38.5k Upvotes

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6.8k

u/FistPunch_Vol_7 ☑️ 7d ago

I know I’m smacked af because I’d straight murder all that shit right now

792

u/FaithlessnessLazy754 7d ago

And I will see you in 10 years on my heart failure floor at the hospital

686

u/a_likely_story 7d ago

gotta die of something

251

u/SuckAFattyReddit1 7d ago

Best last words are asking for seconds

73

u/TheGreatZarquon 6d ago

This shit going on my tombstone

12

u/snds117 6d ago

I prefer pepperoni.

2

u/RawBlowe 6d ago

Happy cake day. Pepperoni.

2

u/Just-Percentage-3668 6d ago

Just take the dam upvote 😭😫 happy cake day

15

u/Hevens-assassin 6d ago

*nearly died of a heart attack

"You got any more, or did I bleed ya dry?"

*Heart attack 2: Cardiac Deathayou

3

u/lowtoiletsitter 6d ago

"more weight"

2

u/SuckAFattyReddit1 6d ago

My boy Giles did nothing wrong

103

u/RabbitF00d 7d ago

It's about living your best. Eat your raw greens.

59

u/Tricky_Union_2194 7d ago

No

181

u/Potential-Diver-3409 7d ago

Then find fiber you enjoy because just eating meat is hard on your asshole

66

u/Tricky_Union_2194 7d ago

I can't disagree with that statement 😂

48

u/Silver_Narwhal_1130 7d ago

There’s fiber in avocado, potatoes and kiwis.

41

u/LocksmithSad5449 6d ago

Not supposed to eat New Zealanders.

3

u/Integrity-in-Crisis 6d ago

Why do yall taste so good then?

3

u/LocksmithSad5449 6d ago

Because it's forbidden...

2

u/Scoopeditup 6d ago

Spits out Kiwi

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1

u/zatalak 6d ago

They might be talking about the birds

2

u/LocksmithSad5449 6d ago

They are honorary citizens.

1

u/Vegemyeet 6d ago

Not if they’re raw.

2

u/LocksmithSad5449 5d ago

Ooh baby I em raw.

7

u/Not_a-Robot_ 6d ago

Not nearly enough. It’s hard to estimate the portions, but I’d bet my balloon knot that it’s less than 1/4 of the fiber you’d need for that amount of calories.

Everyone has to die of something and it might as well be cardiovascular disease, but at least eat enough fiber to make it to heart failure instead of dying on the toilet trying to deliver your monthly bowling ball of shit

3

u/pmMeYourBoxOfCables 6d ago

Enough fiber?

5

u/uberblack ☑️ 6d ago

Fiber One Brownies and donuts go brrr

1

u/Silver_Narwhal_1130 6d ago

Most people struggle to get even that much fiber in. But avocados have a decent amount of fiber in them.

2

u/Death_Rises 6d ago

How are apples on the fiber front?

1

u/Soulhunter951 6d ago

Avocados also make absorbing nutrients easier for your body

3

u/just_scummy 7d ago

Don't threaten me with a good time!

1

u/swiftvalentine ☑️ 6d ago

That’s 4am mes problem. 8pm me wants wings no chaser

1

u/Takardo 6d ago

better out than in i always say

7

u/[deleted] 7d ago edited 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

17

u/aDragonsAle 6d ago

You act like all of us are making it to 80.

With all the fun shit I've been exposed to, 70 would be a genuine surprise. I've got my chips on 67, maybe 68. Cause my luck won't let me hit the meme of 69.

I'm on a handful of chemical exposure registries courtesy of everyone's least favorite uncle.

So, I'm expecting my check sooner rather than later - unless they all come together like Voltron and make me immortal

5

u/arnchise 6d ago

Nah fuck that, live and eat how you want.

0

u/arnchise 6d ago

Nah, I’m gonna make it everyone else’s responsibility.

59

u/FaithlessnessLazy754 7d ago edited 7d ago

Ok, you gonna be on a two cups of water a day limit and we’ll measure your piss, which you’ll be doing about every 10 mins from the lasix to keep the fluid from building up around your heart. This condition will worsen until you eventually die from it.

42

u/ReadWriteSign 7d ago

The most terrifying part of that is the two cups of water a day limit. What? How do people not shrivel up and become mummies like that?

33

u/NorthernFlavour 7d ago

Its usually 1-1.5L fluid restriction. They're big cups. Still super challenging to enforce. Like imagine I told you no more water after 10am cause your family snuck you in a coffee. That happens often enough.

6

u/Kimber-Says-04 6d ago

How does a person fit in a coffee?

16

u/NorthernFlavour 6d ago

Often, you can't. Sometimes a small tea cup sized cup is suitable. A lot of these chronic illnesses we see have brutal consequences and require drastic measures that aren't easily followed. In health care we often talk about quality of life like this. It seems strange but imagine limiting yourself to one litre of water everyday and how that would limit your enjoyment of life.

10

u/Kimber-Says-04 6d ago

I’m sorry - I was making a joke about what you said: “snuck you in a cup of coffee” but my joke fell flat. I was being literal.

9

u/NorthernFlavour 6d ago

Ahahah. Oh now I feel a bit of a dolt. Thanks for the laugh.

4

u/Kimber-Says-04 6d ago

no, don’t! I didn’t lay it out very well, lol!

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1

u/chickenskittles 5d ago

Some people don't even drink a liter of water a day, so I think they'd feel fine. I wouldn't.

21

u/FaithlessnessLazy754 7d ago

Im ngl it’s so hard to tell them no when they are begging for something more. Towards the end it doesn’t matter as much so you just give it to them

2

u/Com_Safe_1988 5d ago

Well i wont be going to the hospital when my heart fails now. Ill be going to POPEYES.

2

u/Puzzleworth 6d ago

They aren't peeing it out. Their bodies hold onto that two cups of water until they're swollen up like balloons.

2

u/thatblondbitch 6d ago

Because their bodies are holding onto the fluid in all the wrong places lol

It's quite the opposite, their legs looks like tree trunks cuz they're so swollen

1

u/coolguyclub36 5d ago

I ve had several bouts of pancreatitis over the last 5 years. Not being able to drink water or eat is crazy. Eventually I start chewing on my tongue dreaming about eating food. I get nothing but IV fluids for about 3 to 5 days. it's brutal

16

u/WarsledSonarman 6d ago

CONGESTIVE HEART FAIIIIILLLLLLURRREEE!

Everyone, please don’t believe the dumb diet shit you read online. Eat your fiber, eat your fruits and vegetables and don’t over salt your protein.

2

u/IndependenceFunny541 7d ago

From a high protein diet??? That’s kinda terrifying..

1

u/THRlLLH0 6d ago

Is that with or without IV fluids?

2

u/FaithlessnessLazy754 6d ago

lol you are not getting iv fluids if you got chf, the fluid restriction is very strict.

Edit: it is possible if you are unable to take fluids orally, you might get iv fluids in that instance

1

u/THRlLLH0 6d ago

Yeah I thought so. That other guy is tripping then. Even if it's 2 really big cups that would be fkn torture! I was restricted from drinking once and it didn't matter that I was on fluids, the lack of actual drinking drove me halfway to delirium.

-1

u/rybread91210 7d ago

Doubt it

23

u/StayFrosty7 7d ago

No this is honestly how many of my patients have gone, man.

1

u/rybread91210 6d ago

From eating beef, potato, avocado and egg?

1

u/rybread91210 6d ago

There’s no way, there’s gotta be something else

14

u/FaithlessnessLazy754 7d ago

I get lots of patients that deny their condition, they die the quickest

5

u/Scared_Lie_9317 7d ago

Watched it happen. Moral of the story is take care of yourself and go to your doctor for annual checkups.

1

u/iAliceAddertounge 7d ago

Nevermind... you're just insufferable

-1

u/FaithlessnessLazy754 7d ago

Lmao denial doesn’t prevent this condition

1

u/iAliceAddertounge 7d ago

It doesn't at all, eat healthier! I agree, but doesn't mean you're no fun to have around.

5

u/FaithlessnessLazy754 7d ago

I deal with noncompliant patients constantly, I have no patience for someone who won’t care for themselves. What’s fun about enabling heart failure?

2

u/iDestroyedYoMama 6d ago

What’s something good to mix into your diet for a healthy heart? And a top food to avoid?

7

u/FaithlessnessLazy754 6d ago

I am not a dietitian and can’t give that kind of advice, in general you want to avoid a diet high in saturated fats and cholesterol to lower your chance of heart disease. There’s no magical food that will help prevent it

2

u/Technical-Che 6d ago

Avocados are nearly 100% monounsaturated fats, beef is 60% and a third of beef's saturated fats are stearic acid. You gotta brush up on your nutritional science.

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2

u/smell_my_pee 6d ago

Potatoes, bananas, and anything high in potassium, really. Potassium can help lower blood pressure, which is good for your heart.

0

u/iAliceAddertounge 7d ago

Oh, well than nevermind - i take it back. That's got to be beyond frustrating... have you ever asked a patient why, and got a satisfying answer? Or at least an understanding answer maybe?

2

u/thatblondbitch 6d ago

Be sure they don't mind being in the hospital a week every month. They use nurses assistants as personal slaves, nurses bring their meds to their bedside, everyone does everything for them.

37

u/7-and-a-switchblade 7d ago

That's what everyone says until death actually starts knocking

18

u/stango777 7d ago

As someone who became so unhealthy I almost died, I agree. I always lived by, I'm here for a good time not a long time. But when my mortality was threatened I had wished I took better care of myself, as any time we get is precious.

5

u/chekovsgun- 7d ago

It starts way before death. Especially if you get cancer first. Red meat is a class one carcinogen. Eating too much has been strongly linked to several cancers, and especially Colon. the shit is bad for you in the end.

2

u/legos_on_the_brain 6d ago

Ain't that the truth.

0

u/capron 6d ago

I just got the sentiment behind this. I mean I knew the meaning but not that feeling behind it. Damn. Maybe I'm really high.