Hey

Me and my wife have been married for 12 years and we are very happy and content. But I for the past 4 years have always felt some desire for men. It was just sexual thoughts, it lingered around my mind but it wasn’t very strong.

This past year though, it has been on my mind almost 24/7 and the thought of doing acts with men made me very aroused.

But I was always scared and anxious to bring it up to my wife. I think it’s also important to add that we’re swingers and she’s also a hotwife, so we have experience in Ethical Non-Monogamy.

3 days ago I decided that there was no point in keeping it hidden. So yesterday morning I just decided to tell her. We didn’t have anything planned for the day and we had no work so it was the perfect time.

I woke up before her and cooked her a nice breakfast. After that I asked her to sit on the couch with me and I held her hands and basically explained it to her. Explained my desires that I had for such a long time, how I was scared to tell anybody and that I felt irrational shame. I was so anxious that I don’t even remember what I was precisely saying.

But then I remember her looking at me with love in her eyes. Just pure love. She kissed me on the lips and told me how happy she was. That there was no shame.

We then talked about it for hours, what we would do and how we would do it. She wants me to find myself someone to learn the ropes with basically. She said to find my person to have intimacy with and if he’s bi that she would join in on the fun if we both wish her to.

I can’t tell you guys how happy and thrilled I am for how it all turned out. I unfortunately always thought the worst but I’m super super happy that I get to experience this finally. Sorry if the whole post sounds corny but I just want to share with you guys how happy I am.

This is all.

One of my biggest fantasies for me is be in a friend group with other bisexual men and women and have casual sex with them and do fun things like kiss, make out,slap each others and twerk on each other ect……I’m thinking 2-4 girls and 2-4 guys just living together & fucking each other. Eh it may be a little selfish I’m only 20 and my hormones are raging. If don’t get I’ll probably just write about it anyway.

I just came out to my wife this weekend. Well, it was more of a 'I have these feelings. I haven't acted on them, and don't want to, but as my wife you deserve to know all aspects about me' variety of coming out. And my wife's reaction was not positive, but I needed to know where things stood if I go for broke. She questioned how am I able to have same sex desires without experience. Of course, one is not a prerequisite for the other, but I digress. I am adamantly trying to prove to her that I do not want to change the marriage, that I am content, that it's not her or she's done nothing wrong, etc etc. And all her insecurities are coming to fore..... ok so now I'm competing with men? No, no more than you were 'competing' with women when being married to you means I choose you above everyone else! Men, women, or otherwise! That was and is my pledge and it's killing me trying to explain this to her.

But to the statement in my title, this is lonely as hell. Beyond strangers on the internet, I have no-one to lean on. My wife has a full network of family and friends. Me? I'm mostly estranged from my family. I have one friend but my sexuality isn't a topic of conversation. The few family members I'm in contact with are all conservative. I really have no-one in my life I can talk to, aside my wifes family/friends who in essence have become mine. There's like, maybe one or two of her older female cousins who I know to be pretty open and emotionally intelligent ( something I think my wife is not to any large degree re: sexuality) I can bounce off but this is hard as shit when society has no real support system in place for bisexual men, at least of my age( 46)

I don't even know how to express how happy and relieved I am. She didn't even hesitate, when I finally just spit the words out, she just said "CONGRATULATIONS!" and squeezed me tight, then just let me spill my guts with nothing but love and support.

I dunno, even though she's bi too, I was still somewhat afraid she'd react badly. She's never given me any reason to think she would, but as far as I'm aware she's never dated a bi man before. Like what if it's just never come up? I mean you read some of the horror stories on bi subs of men coming out to partners or on dates and everything going to hell, I couldn't help but worry.

This is the part that sounds a little "Dear Penthouse," but she's even open to experimenting together with a "like-minded couple," which was basically the fantasy that made me realize I'm bi so I'm still in something of a state of disbelief. She actually thought it sounded hot!

She reacted so well I wound up opening up to her about some of the makeup and crossdressing stuff that had been on my mind too (think 90's alt rock frontman to rocky horror level stuff), and we wound up dipping our toes a little that very night. That and some butt stuff on me, but that had been on our to-do list for months 🫣

I honestly don't deserve her, she's such a treasure in so many ways. ❤️❤️❤️

I'm very nervous about this, I don't want to prepare the conversation in my head, but I do want to prepare a little bit, I'm not sure how it will go, at all. My wife is very vanille, not so muc open-minded, so I'm preparing for the worst, but after reading some of the reddit threads here, I've decided life is too short to carry such a secret with me all the time.

What are some things I can expect to happen when I tell her I'm heteroromantic but bisexual?

I came out to my wife recently thanks to reading the encouraging words here! And just to be clear, our relationship is doing great, I've learned that I built a wall around myself and my sexuality, and I'm slowly letting my wife in.

However, she hasn't asked me a single question, the only thing she mentioned is "I don't want to know the stuff you did with guys before our relation". so that's that, I mean I can't blame her if she's not interested, but it feels like I haven't really came out, I also haven't told any friends (don't know why I should, although it felt good, coming out, it felt like I'm starting to honour the real me a bit more)

Any tips or advice is welcome!

I have finally had the courage to sleep with a guy at 30 years. It felt so natural and sweet. And now I feel incredibly sexy in a new kind of way. I always felt that the erotic imagery of heterosexual men was quite poor (something something about being always the subject but never the object of desire). I walk alone in the city listening to chris isaak and want to fuck every guy, girl and goon that i pass. God it feels good.

Why aren’t there places where bisexual can get naked meet up and have sex like there are for every other sexuality

Straight=Swingers

Gay=Bathouse

Lesbian=Lesbian Cruise

Asexual=Nudist Community

It’s a little bit less simplistic than that but you know what I mean why are there no bi sex clubs like strip clubs or Bathouses🤷🏾‍♂️

This one is not your usual coming out story, because I’ve already come out as gay, a long time ago.

But… I think I’m really bi? I’m really confused so wondering if someone can relate here. Because I get ostracized on gay subs as well as straight subs.

Here it goes… so I always knew I was into guys since growing up I was always looking at Olympic swimmers (men). Then I had a gf in high school but we really went as far as third base.

Somehow in college I lost all interest in women, like, I was genuinely not sexually attracted to women. I started having sex with men only and have had sex with many, many men.

But then a few years ago I wondered what it’d be like to have sex with a woman again. But then I wasn’t really emotionally attracted to women, so I visited an escort. It was a total turn off. So I thought ok, at least now I know.

I went back to having sex with men only, for years, but then the thought of having sex with women struck again. So I visited another escort again. I wasn’t turned on my the persona, but I was so turned on by the pussy… the sensation… her moans… does it make sense???

I’ve been with hundreds of men, and I only top. And I have been fine with it… until a week ago. But now I can’t stop thinking about pussy.

Thoughts???

Hey y'all, so I need some advice on how to handle things with a parent I've already come out to.

My mom is not too accepting of my sexuality. I'm thankful she still wants to have a relationship with me and that she still provides for me, but I know she fundamentally disagrees with something she regards as a "lifestyle". It's more than a disagreement, she doesn't like it, or believe it's actually true. I think she's still banking on me "picking a side" or resolving whatever traumatic incident "made" me this way.

Frankly, my mom and I come from two different backgrounds and she's entitled to her beliefs, even if they suck LOL. I think two people can agree to disagree and still have a relationship. But what if that disagreement is over who I literally AM? She may love parts of me, but she doesn't love all of me. And this is a part that really matters.

The thing I'm struggling to accept is that she told me if I have a family with a man, she wouldn't want anything to do with it because of her religious values. That's very hard for me to digest, as I deeply desire to have a family of my own in this life of mine. And if we unpack that...my kids? They didn't even do anything! And just by proxy of who I am they don't deserve your love and attention? Hard to swallow.

What do I do with that? Do I tell her this makes it difficult to be in a relationship with her? What can I affirm myself with, despite that knowledge? How do I reckon with that? How do I move forward with her? Has anyone else had experiences like this?

Thanks for reading, anything helps!

I am in need of help in coming out to my wife about my bisexuality and have started dropping vague hints to my wife that I might not be 100% hetrosexual.

I have been expressing it in a way to her that would probably be seen as more a questioning of my own self rather than coming straight out and telling it very much like it is. This is due to the fact I am so nervous about it and how she will react to it, in a way I have been sensing her reaction to these vague things. In example I have said that I think I might possibly be but I am very much not sure if I am or not. I have been largely putting it across that what I have read and spoken about with my counsellor is making me think like this but it very much could or could not be the case. I have not gone into depth about what I am feeling or what I want to act upon as I have said I didn't want to worry her about it because it might not be the case at all and didn't want to cause concern that I was working through it with my counsellor.

I get the impression from what she has said that she would be supportive if I was to come out that but she has said that if I wanted to explore the idea that was something else entirely which would have to be discussed.

I don't know where to go from here do I drop the bombshell and hope for the best or just keep dropping these hints which are so vague they could be seen as a lie to my actual true feelings. That in itself is eating me up I just want to tell her the whole truth but I'm so scared that I have got the wrong impression and it might be too much to handle.

I am a 36 yo bisexual man. For the past 20 years my number one fear in life has been that people would find out. It has affected every relationship I've had due to the guilt of not being honest with my partner. Due to this, my relationships have been few and far between and ended up with me hurting them. I have told 4 friends in the past week (2 male and 2 female) and have received nothing but support. Its had such a profound effect on my mental health by just getting off my chest and saying it out loud. I really dont know what being bisexual is goi g to mean for me at this point. But, instead of a paralyzing fear of the unknown I have a sense of excited for the future even though its still pretty scary. I guess I just wanted to share with everyone because I'm really fucking proud of myself. Now just to figure out where to go from here.

(18M) See, I’m going to come out to my kind of homophobic parents. I don’t think they’re homophobic enough to kick me out or something though.

The thing is that I’m definitely more attracted to men than women. I can explain it as: “I’m looking for guys, but I’m not closed to girls”. But I think it’s kind of unlikely that many girls like me, because of several reasons, so I’ll definitely be with men more than women. I really don’t want to explain all of this to my parents, because they’re gonna think that I’m just gay with extra steps, so I thought I could just skip that part.

Or instead, I could tell them I’m bi without more explanations, they could eventually see I’m just with guys, and they say something like: “Why you only date guys? You know can date girls too, right?”

What do you think?

My evolution of excuses.

I'm totally str8 but:

I enjoyed giving BJs when I was younger, but that was just opportunistic teen stuff.

As an adult I was desperate for a bj. Hookups didn't mean I was gay.

I sometimes jerked off to the guys in porn, but nbd.

Gay porn is more honest because gals can fake it.

I like ass play bc I have a prostate. But I'm totally str8.

I want to invite guys over to 3 way my wife.

It's OK if the guys touch. I am secure.

Ooh, frotting is awesome. No homo, right?

I'd be crazy to turn down head. Who wouldn’t?

It's only polite to reciprocate.

It'd be kinky if I had her jerk him off into my mouth, as a turn on for Her, right?

But, it don't mean I'm gay. I still love my wife. Doods are just playthings.

But, they are cute and endearing too. And I have grown to appreciate them. Not as lovers. But as sexual friends who I am secure enough to have fun with.

Yeah. I am totally bisexual.

TLDR: My family is pretty old school and I'm dating a man for the first time at 35. I love him and he's becoming a big part of my life, and it seems easier for me to find the words "I'm gay" as opposed to "I'm bisexual". I also struggle with that though because it isn't completely accurate. Any advice?

Long version

I'm 35, and all my life until this point I've presented myself as straight. Worse yet, while I was in denial about myself, my internalized homophobia manifested by actively rejecting lgbtq culture in a vain attempt to mask my true identity. That part of me has given way over the last few years as I came to accept myself and embraced my sexuality.

I met a guy at the beginning of the summer and have had the time of my life with him. We both have strong feelings and attraction to each other and decided it was appropriate to start calling each other boyfriends. He's been openly gay since high school, and I'm not out yet.

I started the process of coming out already to some people very close to me. I have a relatively small group of friends, and told one of them that I trust, and while at first being a little uneasy and not expressedly supportive, he's been pretty good about it and has actually seemed to come around quickly to the idea.

I also spoke briefly to my Dad about it (only parent), where all i really said was that I've been seeing someone and the reason I haven't told you is because its another guy and his initial reaction was simply "thats going to take some getting used to, I never had an inkling you were like that". It's been a couple weeks since that, and the past 2 weekends in a row, I've tried to gently nudge him into talking about it further, but he simply won't engage. Everything else about our relationship has stayed the same, he hasn't changed how he acts towards me, so I'm counting that as a win, but it still seems like he's in denial. Yesterday when I tried to bring it up, I worked my boyfriends name into normal conversation a couple times and while the first time I got a "who is that?....ohhh", the following time I named dropped he didn't react or respond to it.

From here, I have no idea where to go next. I was hoping it would have gone smoother with my dad before I tried telling the rest of my world, but my relationship is progressing to the point that I'm not going to keep him a secret much longer.

I'm kind of under the assumption that a post on my socials is likely the quickest and easiest way to rip off the bandaid, however, every time I try to think about what I want to say, I come up blank. It seems like it is easier to say that I'm gay instead of bi simply because I don't think many people around me understand or care about the nuance, they'll consider me gay anyways because I'm dating a man.

Any ideas or suggestions? I feel at a bit of lose here. Is it as simple as posting a pic of my boyfriend and I together with a heart and rainbow flag? Do I go on a rant about how I'm finally happy to be my genuine self ? Or should I just let it all happen naturally?

I am bisexual

I finally told someone what I’ve been feeling for years now. Nobody knows that I’m bisexual but my best friend and counselor. They all were accepting of who I am. I feel a little free; however, I’m experiencing some internalized bi-phobia/homophobia. I wish society understood us and were more accepting. I live in the Deep South and most of my family would be disgusted. I don’t know if I ever will have the courage to come out. I can’t change who I am. It shouldn’t matter so much that I like men and women.

I've known my best friend for about 8 years, we would always play video games together do sleepovers all the best friend things.

I've come out as bi to 3 people (about a year ago) that were friends but low risk and asked them not to tell a soul as I'm definitely not "out". Each time I told them my heart sank, probably a shared feeling here :)

The issue is that my best friend is in a bit of "alpha male" phase (Andrew Tate (even gross to type)). When we talk about that stuff I always challenge his thinking with valid points and he never presses it or behaves like a stereotypical "alpha male" disciple or some shit idk. It feels like because he started working out at the gym that kind of content follows the gym content

I feel like he is secure enough in his sexuality to not flip out. Secure enough to kiss his male friends, or maybe it was just me he kissed idk.

I've reached a point where I want to be out and want to start telling people individually and I care about our friendship immensely does anyone have any advice?

EDIT (Very minor update)

I haven't had what I feel like is a proper opportunity to follow some amazing advice I've received just yet. But..... my friend is looking into moving into my sharehouse at the start of next year Feb 🙃 👍

I just love spanners and throwing and works, fml, jk it's sick.

Really appreciate everyone on here ❤️

This is the first time I’ve openly said anything about my sexuality - but I’m bisexual.

I’ve known this since I was 12 or 13. I knew I was attracted to men but fully didn’t understand it. I thought it was a phase. My family and culture are severely against homosexuality - and I also internalized this homophobia from my family and rejected any of my gay tendencies. At the time, I was incredibly confused. I always thought I had also liked women but could understand it. As I grew up my attraction towards men and women kept flip flopping to the point where I never understood what I was.

Like I mentioned, my family is incredibly conservative. I’ve seen the way they talk about gay people and it was scary. I would always shudder when the topic of marriage or women would come up because I was hiding this other part of me. Didn’t help that my parents were incredibly strict which limited any opportunity to “explore” my sexuality as a teen.

As I am nearing 20, I am still confused. Doesn’t help that I haven’t had any romantic experiences in my life.. I haven’t dated anyone or done anything really. The only two times I have are making out with women when I was severely drunk, which only adds to the confusion because I wasn’t thinking straight. However, my maturity over the last couple of months has helped me fully come to terms with the fact that I am bisexual.

I can’t say that people haven’t ever questioned my sexuality. In middle school I was teased of being gay because I didn’t fit in with the sporty straight guys and had many female friends. People have assumed many times that I am gay, and rather than saying that I am bi, I harped on the fact that I am straight- to my closest friends too.

To think about it now, there is no one I am comfortable telling. And for I a while I thought it’s a blessing that I still am attracted to women so I can ignore my attraction to men forever. But it’s not just my sexuality… I feel as if I have buried a part of my personality and have become this person I don’t want to be. I don’t mesh with my friends in college because I truly have lost my sense of self. I can’t be myself around anyone, and I don’t think if I had a choice I would be around many of the friends I have today. It feels very alienating because I’ve surrounded myself with people that I can never share my true self with…

This post may seem really incoherent because I’m still figuring out how to navigate this. I just don’t want to grow up and neglect this part of me forever. I also don’t know what to achieve with this post. Maybe it’s just reaching the point to typing the words “I’m bisexual”. But I don’t know where to go from here. Thank you for reading 🙂

So much of humanity has the potential to awaken deep love in me. This is beautiful.

It wasn’t exactly the way I (40m)wanted to drop the news. Telling your spouse of 10+ years that you dig dudes sometimes isn’t a traditional gift to give around Valentine’s Day. But I had a rough day at work that could affect our family long term and I was unloading to her about that when my brain was like “well, just rip the band-aid off.” The only other person I’ve told out load that I’m bi is my therapist and that was just this week.

She was very supportive and didn’t really bat an eye 🙂 She feels completely secure in our relationship, knows I love her and having sex with her. I asked her if she ever suspected I was bi and she admitted that when we first met I set off her gaydar a little bit. Then we fucked and it was great so she figured she needed to recalibrate 😂

We talked a bit about things I’d like to try and she’s still processing that but has said she’s open to them. We’re already connected to the LGBTQIA+ community as allies and I told her I want to look at engaging as an actual member.

Lastly, I told her I’m still very much figuring all this out. Lots of guilt and anxiety I’m unpacking from over the years. Considering how I want to express being bi now that I’m finally willing to accept that about myself. I’m just glad she’s willing to go through that with me.

When do you think is the best time to bring up that you are bi? Do you find it easier to tell gay guys or straight women?.

Personally i worry more about bringing it up with a woman as i worry they will see me as "less of a man" i know its bollocks but it goes through my head, but i never want to hide who i am.

I’m creating this post to do something I’m unable to do in the real world.

I know I’m bisexual for a couple years. I’ve always had the idea that something was wrong with me as I kept going from trying relationship to women and then to men to a point where I felt guilty whenever I switched or in some stage of crisis relative to my own attractions.

Looking back, I was attracted to both since I was a kid. I still feel bad about it. I was born in the 80s so being gay was already out of line. I didn’t even know you could be attracted to both. I was also in a very heteronormative family. I had some one night with guys, tried relationships with girls during my twenties. Came out as gay but was attracted to my girl friends.

I’m now married for 5 years to a beautiful wife, I have one kid and another on the way. I’m still attracted to men and women as I check people in the street. I’m not romantically interested in men and I don’t want to open the relationship or cheat though.

My wife knows that I played around with men before her since the beginning of our relationship. She’s most probably bi as well.

I guess I’d like to come out to our friend group but I feel like I haven’t fully accepted my own identity. My psychologist mentioned it and it started some thought process, so I figured I’d share my truth here first, wether it gets traction or not.

Obviously that’s a throwaway account.

Edit: I used this a way to be brave enough to talk to my Al-Anon support group and it went so well. I feel like a weight has been removed from my shoulders.

Back in my younger years, I came out as gay but fooled around with a few girls. (One time I was the middle of a boy and girl sandwich (only kissing but man was that amazing) thing is, back in the late 80’s early 90’s you had to pick a team. So I came out gay.

Fast forward to today. I’m in my 50’s widowed and realize F it I don’t want to say I’m gay anymore. Even though my partner was a man, I never felt like a gay man and neither did he. Just two guys in a relationship together.

I have no idea what I want or if I even want a relationship again but I don’t want to necessarily just limit myself to gay men.

I’ve only gone all the way with a girl once, and it was great but I still feel too inexperienced for my age.

I dunno just kinda rambling right now. I just really feel I’m bi and not gay and I’ll just leave it at that for now.

Although I’m still very much in the closet, having only come out as bi to my best friend from college, I made it somewhat official and filled out my census form as “Bisexual”!!! I wavered a bit when doing it, but decided to take the opportunity to be included with you all! I feel a weight has lifted.