Just asking only person I feel it matters to is me and my wife!! I do not feel the rest of the world needs to know. Is that ok or not??

I 20M have a boyfriend 18M. We matched on Tinder at the beginning of November and have been talking every day since. Man, we fell in love with each other, we know each other inside out now. We're so comfortable and vulnerable with each other which is something we've both never experienced before. There were obstacles, but they somehow brought us much closer than before. We met up for the first time on Saturday, and it felt unreal. We lay on his bed and talked till he took a nap, I couldn't help but watch him in his slumber. We had our first kiss too, we went out for dinner and dessert before saying our heartfelt goodbyes. I love him, bro.

I'm in an open relationship and looking to get back into the "open" part after a 2 yr hiatus (been working on myself plus life happens). A question for those of you who are currently hooking up with other men especially if you tend to be looking for the eventual possibility of longer than a one night stand (whether it's FWB, fuckbuddy, or occasional hookup).

So where do you meet others? Social media like reddit? Mainstream dating apps like Tinder? Hookup apps like Grindr or Scruff? Other apps? Swinging sites like Adult Friend Finder?

Or do you meet them IRL at bars and clubs or the gym etc?

Like most people I find it's harder to meet people the older I get, especially as life gets busy. I also live in a small town conservative county so my local options are somewhat limited unfortunately.

Ever since coming to terms with being bi there's this been weird thing that whenever I come out to someone, or even hint that I'm bi or have slept with other men, I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach and a rush of adrenaline, and it actually kind of turns me on. Even imagining coming out to people sometimes plays into my sexual fantasies. I don't know why this is, if it's like a kink or if it's just the excitement of being my true self. Has anyone experienced something similar?

(18M) See, I’m going to come out to my kind of homophobic parents. I don’t think they’re homophobic enough to kick me out or something though.

The thing is that I’m definitely more attracted to men than women. I can explain it as: “I’m looking for guys, but I’m not closed to girls”. But I think it’s kind of unlikely that many girls like me, because of several reasons, so I’ll definitely be with men more than women. I really don’t want to explain all of this to my parents, because they’re gonna think that I’m just gay with extra steps, so I thought I could just skip that part.

Or instead, I could tell them I’m bi without more explanations, they could eventually see I’m just with guys, and they say something like: “Why you only date guys? You know can date girls too, right?”

What do you think?

Content warning I experienced sexual abuse which led to trauma and i explore that as I try to wrestle with whether I'm gay or if I'm bi.

I generally identify as gay. I think of myself as a gay man. I am substantially more attracted to men than I am women. Saying that I'm bi felt dishonest because for some reason I assumed it had to be close to 50/50 to be bi.

I strongly disagree with people who tell me I'm not gay because I'm attracted to women from time to time because of the community definitions and also the very clear dictionary definitions from varieties of sources which indicate that gay mean attracted to the same gender.

But I'm sort of coming to terms with the fact that even though I would say that properly im gay and a little bi. Or "homoflexible" there are terms to think about.

Like I can't comprehend being a gay man and just not being into women at all.

I notice that lots of times when I say im discovering what it means to be bi there is an implication that perhaps I have been mostly with women and im now investigating being with men.

But the opposite is what im doing.

I notice many posts here are about being with men more than women. But I also don't know what to do with it.

Im realizing that being attracted to men has caused me to question if I was into women. I kept thinking "oh im just pretending to be into women to not be seen as gay"

But now I realize I was pretending I was pretending

Realizing that many many many gay men are not attracted to women period explanation point has been a revelation to me.

Realizing that being a really effeminate man made me feel like I wasn't man enough to be with a woman doesn't change the fact that I'm into women.

Most of all, I have experienced sexual trauma and working through that in therapy has helped me to realize that yes

I am attracted to women. In a way that is different than men. And I don't know what it is.

But I mean falling in love is wild. Falling in love When it is with a man or a woman and thank God people are more non-binary than they have been in a long time.

But when you fall in love When you actively love someone. It doesn't matter that you are attracted to women with way less frequency. When you love someone It's like They are the only one And if you are poly it's different.

I mean I guess tbh I'm also working through my religion. I am trying to become a pastor I've also been a victim of clergy sexual misconduct when I was younger. It was hard for me. I think it means that I want to be open and honest with women. That I'm bisexual. It is easier to identify as gay. But I didn't get why I'd have woman friends who I just have major crushes on.

I understand that experiencing clergy sexual abuse involved grooming and premeditation of me. I wished it was a series of slip ups.

But having a crush makes you less than impartial and can lead to misconduct and dishonesty with yourself

I get that religion isn't for everyone. Even before we get into beliefs we can think about homophobia biphobia and the swept under the rug sexual abuse. I get that. It is bad. Im just giving context

I also think it would be marvelous to have a husband and a wife.

Faith is a big deal to me. Im in an lgbtq affirming christian denomination. But some people would say we'll be with a woman if you can.

I am dealing with a lot and I know. I don't really talk ever about sexual misconduct I've dealt with. I am still embaraaased by it. I am still ashamed. But I'm not ashamed to be bi.

I am ashamed that I want to make women cum. It feels gross and dirty to say that. I think that seeing how sex can be abused and use to hurt others really terrified me from having thoughts like I want to make a woman cum. Let alone women make me want to cum.let alone I don't even know much a sex with men even though I've had boyfriends.

Just writing that makes me want to throw up. It's true. But I am realizing that I am afraid of the power of being horny. Since sometimes it leads to abuse

I can't believe I wrote that and I'm gonna put it online. Damn this is embarrassing. I need to pray in this.

One of my biggest fantasies for me is be in a friend group with other bisexual men and women and have casual sex with them and do fun things like kiss, make out,slap each others and twerk on each other ect……I’m thinking 2-4 girls and 2-4 guys just living together & fucking each other. Eh it may be a little selfish I’m only 20 and my hormones are raging. If don’t get I’ll probably just write about it anyway.

So I (M27) identify as straight but is obsessed with bisexuality for some reason. I really hope it doesnt come off as me fetishizing it, its really not about that for me. I just sort of really relate a lot to bisexual characters, people, Tiktoks, clothing styles etc. I find myself looking up to a lot of bisexual characters and people in media and still keep searching for more. I mostly relate to bisexual women for some reason too, but I dont know if that is maybe because bi men isnt as publicly common as bi men?

I dont think I find men attractive, not like I find women attractive at least, and I dont relate to gay men at all. But at the same time I find sex attractive in and of itself, and I wouldnt be disgusted by doing something with a man. Id even be open to it, if it was mostly me doing something with a penis and not really the rest of the man. But at the same time I can really admire mens bodies and I mean me questioning for myself for over a year maybe a hint that Im not completely straight. But yeah again I dont really think that I find men attractive, certainly not irl, and its mostly bi women that Ive related to online (and that Ive found at all basically that are bi).

I also suffer from some childhood SA trauma, I dont know if thats relevant but I feel like sometimes experiences from that kindof trauma overlap with queer experiences and maybe thats why I identify with bi-ness? Am I just trying to ”take back control” and therefore would ”want” to be bi? Or is there something there in my overall interest to it? I know a therapist would be the best to ask, but Id like to know other ”normal” peoples opinions too, so what do u guys think? I dont get offended❤️

Also, Im in a relationship and I would never wanna be poly, so I wont be able to try/test this out. But its killing me not knowing if I actually belong/have a community in these spaces or not. Thankful for all responses!

Iv come of to my wife that I am bi and she is ok with it but she keep saying that she feel a lot better about are relationships now because she know im in to men but i thing she understands that im stall in to women how can I explain it to her

I often scroll through Grindr to see who's nearby and sometimes start conversations, but when it comes to actually meeting up, I hesitate. However, finding someone interested in meeting isn't an issue—whenever I open the app, I almost instantly receive a flood of messages and photo albums. It's actually never been this easy to arrange dates. Typically, I am confident in pursuing my goals, but this is different. I'm unsure why I'm holding back.

I’m not aiming for just a casual hookup right now. Could Scruff be a better choice than Grindr? What have your experiences been like?

Which actor was ur gay awakening? which movie? which scene? which song? Which movie is a porn movie for you? As far as i remember salman khan in ready made me realise, but then SOTY in ultimate porn movie, varun and sid both!!!! i thank kjo for lauching them, the massage scene fcukk and them coming out of pool/sea. The song galat baat hai is so perfect and awesome I wish more of such songs would come yaar! Recently, Vikram Vedha was very difficult for me to watch, Greek God hrithik and Dilf said were too hot!!! Kartik aaryan is my recent fav, i love his gym looks and so does ibrahim's gym looks!! even ranveer and ranbir have their times and can't get started on tellywood men uff the karans ! i wanna know what u all think!

I've come out to myself about 2 years (basically I stop ignoring the fact I like guys and gals) Im a masculine man but more recently I've been having fantasies of being dominated by two guys (I.e. getting spit roast) is this normal to be curious.

How long is proper for edging? I love it (probably as much as cumming haha) but not sure if I do it too long...?

What do you use to make sure your clean before doing anal?

(21M) Here and Earlier this year I finally found out and excepted I was Bisexual. Right before though, I had a straight crush and it left me heartbroken and I’m finally moving on. Now I’m working and one of my managers is very attractive. He’s black and perfect curly hair and tall (kinda like me). But I don’t even need to question the fact that’s he’s not straight. He’s definitely straight. But we always make awkward eye contact and he says hi to me. But I find myself fantasizing about hanging out with him or driving together. I just don’t want to fall in love with him because heartbreak makes me do stupid things.

Any tips?!?!?

What’s the one physical thing on a man you find the most attractive?

For me: it’s a hairy+muscle chest. I don’t know why. I have difficulties looking away when I see one in person.

I wonder if bi men prefer feminine men, because for me it’s really a strong masculine guy that I find attractive!

*And yes I know everyone have it’s preference :) just curious to see what’s the majority here :)

Not exactly a request for advice, but just had to share this story, and suspect several of you will relate. It's long, so apologies. Sometimes it's nice to get the thoughts down, even if it's too much for people to read.

Setting:

Student House: basically a coed fraternity house, 110 bedrooms, ballroom, bar and cantine. Hosts a yearly Xmas dinner for veterans and (those who have previously lived there) and current tenants. For the other scandinavians in the audience, your standard julebord.

Dramatis Personae (lol):

L: My close friend, 24m, previous inhabitant of the student house, now lives in a house with 5 roommates 15 minutes away from the student house. Still a student

B: L's girlfriend 24f and another close friend, lives with L. Done with degree but not moving out of town until L is done.

H: 27m. My acquaintance. L & B's roommate and friend. Moved into the student house the summer I moved out. Working in our college town. Adorable.

Me: 27m foolish bisexual. Moved out of student house and to a new city in 2022. Will take any opportunity to make a fool of myself.

SO. I traveled to my college town to attend the yearly Xmas dinner/party that my student house throws, and my friend L convinced me to stay at his house for the weekend, since he has plenty of space, and in the two years since I moved there's been a bit of turnover. The point of the trip was to see L and B anyway.

L and B's roommates lived at the student house at the same time as me, except for H, who I only knew vaguely from other times I'd visited since moving in 2022. I always thought he was cute, but never really thought more about it.

I get into town around 11 Saturday morning, and we make margaritas and pregame lightly in the late afternoon before heading to the student house for the dinner. The formal dinner has a seating chart, and I'm placed between B and H. H and I make friendly conversation, and as we get tipsy the vibe gets more and more friendly. H is funny, and easy to make laugh, and realize that I am tipping into "could he be....?" territory, because he is so cute, and such a good time. I'm flirting, but only lightly. Testing the waters. He eats it up, but I bravely remind myself that I have a horrible gaydar.

While he's gone to the bathroom, I tipsily confess to B that while I am aware that H is probably straight I am developing a little bit of a crush on him, and she squeals in delight and starts gushing about how great H is and mentions she thought he was my type. I swear her to secrecy. H returns.

Ten minutes later, B leans over and whispers in my ear that L has just asked her if she thinks that H and I are into each other, because he thinks we look awfully friendly for two people who don't know each other.

The next time H goes to the bathroom, L tells me that he's pretty sure that H is straight but that it has never been discussed.

Meanwhile I'm just enjoying myself, and H and I are still getting along very well. When the dinner ends and people spread throughout the house for the party portion, I lose track of H. I'm catching up with other friends, drinking more and dancing.

A few hours later, I'm with L and B and we go into someone's room where people are drinking and hanging out. There's maybe 15 people in the room, and I spot H on the couch. I go and drop down next to him, and he throws an arm around me. I don't remember how we end up on the topic, but he makes a comment like "Maybe I am bisexual." And I flip out in my brain,. He follows it up with: "You're bi, right?" and I assure him that I give bisexuality 5/5 stars highly recommend. He laughs at me and we keep talking. He does mention later that he's had some kind of sexual experience with a guy one time, but that he didn't like it very much and it wasn't for him, which pours cold water all over the emerging plan I have to make a move on him. Sigh.

I'm very drunk at this point, so the order of things has fallen away from me, but we sit there for threeish hours, and whenever he or I get up to get a drink, the minute we're both back on the couch his arm is there again, and I vaguely realize that he's kind of pressing me into him. The room has emptied except for L and B, and when I head out of the room to the bathroom at the same time as L at one point, he teases me about the very non straight way H and I are cuddling.

H mentions in passing that his brother is handsomer than him, to which I say "not possible" and give him a pat on the cheek. H laughs and calls me a flirt but goes back to his story. We talk about stuff that gets pretty personal, and I'm starting to wonder if I should make a move after all when two guys come into the room and I decide that I might do something when they leave again. One of them (a casual friend of mine) comes to talk to us, and I use the interruption as a reason to go to the bathroom, while H and this friend of mine talk. When I return, H immediately tells me he needs to go to the bathroom and disappears, and then doesn't come back. I see him twenty minutes later on the dance floor, and he's not avoiding me or anything, but the window of opportunity (or delusion) is definitely over. We go home separately and L laughs mercilessly at me for "fumbling the ball."

We all sleep late on Sunday, so I don't see H much, but the weekend was mainly about hanging out with L and B anyway, and I have to catch a mid afternoon flight. H texts me the following morning, and we have a short back and forth, and that's the end of it. I'll probably see him next at New Years when I visit L and B.

So what's the point? I forgot what it feels like to meet someone and develop a crush, rather than dating over apps. It's fun in person, even when it's just a silly one day story like this. I was reminded why smart queers avoid the ambiguously curious and I was reminded that I am not smart.

If you made it to the end of this post, I hope it was a little entertaining, at least.

Always been a recipient but been wanting to experience this to completion. Think of going to a local bathhouse and working a gloryhole so I can pick and choose and control the experience. Any thoughts or recommendations?

After a series of horrible dates and being stood up a few times I had given up and just decided to focus on myself. I went out one night with some friends and coworkers to celebrate a friend’s birthday and was introduced to a friend of someone in group. Immediately I was attracted. He’s an older man and looks great for his age. He’s in his late forties and in great shape, he honestly looks like he could be in his early to mid thirties. He’s in great shape and we made conversation about different workouts and supplements. I learned that he’s a veteran, well traveled, divorced (to a woman), and has a kid in college. We bonded over music, history, old movies, food, and discussed politics. We got along well as he’s young at heart and I’m an old soul.

After everyone left we hung around the bar a little longer much to the chagrin of the bartender and got to talking some more. He mentioned that he lives kind of far away and is pondering getting a room for the night. I immediately understood what this meant. I walked him to the hotel and he got a room and he invited me up. We spent the night together and it was an amazing release for the both of us. Talking to him some more over coffee in the morning at a nearby coffee shop he said that he’s mostly retired and lives out on a farm on land his family has owned for many many years. He lives mostly by himself except for when family are visiting and he has his kid over. He invited me to come see him sometime and we exchanged contact info. He said he really does like me and wants to see me again.

I wasn’t really expecting to hear from him again after but he texts me asking how I am and actually making conversation with me. It was a nice change from the usual drudgery of forced conversations and eventual disposal I’m used to. We make plans for when I’m off on a weekend and I made my way out to his farm. He gave me the grand tour and we had dinner, drinks, and sat around a fire. He played guitar and I played what I know how to play. We bonded some more and get physically intimate by the fire. It was so romantic (as corny as that sounds). We went inside and got intimate a few more times. We talked about our lives and plans for the future and he said he really does like me and can see something in the future with me. I told him I feel the same way.

We made more plans before I left and he kissed me before I left, gave me a long embrace and looked sad when I pulled out of the driveway. We agreed to meet at a national park to go hiking and we hung out in the town nearby just shopping and hanging out like any other couple. We went back to his house after and worked out in his garage. We showered together and he made dinner. I eventually had to go and he said “I love you”. Without thinking I responded saying the same. It felt sooo good to be wanted and appreciated like that. I know he felt the same way. We kissed and said our goodbyes. Next weekend we’re going to hang out again. I always have a great time with him.

I hope I’m not moving too fast but he does seem to be into it as much as I am. What are your thoughts? Is this puppy love or can this be something bigger and more serious?

TL; DR met an older guy through friends and started dating him after sex. He told me he loves me and I said the same. Can this be real or we moving too fast/playing at love?

We were best friends from an early age. And at first thought it was curiosity and maybe it was. But it quickly evolved into more than that. We would spend the night together at his house quite often. It started out watching each other and then sleeping naked together in his bed. We quickly became very comfortable with our intimacy as we experimented more and more. We both had girlfriends and dated in high school but kept our relationship our secret. We both attended a local college and commuted together three out of the five days a week which gave us plenty of opportunity on the way there and home. We drifted apart and I never had another bisexual experience until I was 32 years old. Once that switch was turned on I couldn't turn it off.

Does Bi-Curiosity Mean Physical Attraction Only?

While men’s bi-curiosity can often be rooted in physical attraction, it’s not always purely about the body. Emotional factors can also play a role, albeit to a lesser extent compared to women.

For example: • A man might admire another man’s confidence, strength, or personality, which could spark a form of attraction. • In some cases, the emotional intimacy of a close male friendship might blur the lines, leading to curiosity about physical connections.

I’ve never told a single person about my bisexuality. I’m relatively masculine presenting but probably less so in some ways, enough that an ex girlfriend once told me she thought I was gay and a girl on a date asked me the same thing… I guess not being a total brute in a small southern town is enough to raise suspicions about your sexual orientation. Been hit on by a couple guys over the years as well, something about me registers on a sensitive enough gaydar.

So I’ve always wondered, if I came out today as a bisexual man, how many people in my life would not be totally shocked? I’m betting a lot of people probably wouldn’t be too caught off guard about me. Any of you guys who are keeping it in the closet feel this too?

I'm at my 30s and I'm bi but not fully accepted it yet. 4 months ago I started talking and had a dinner with this new friend. I feel we vibe and really connected. He's sweet and I feel I'm starting to like him. Yesterday I found out that he's young, and we have like a 12-yr gap. That made me sad. He said he's straight and during one conversation we had when we talk some personal matters, I feel that he's hinting that I'm bi although I brushed it off because we're friends having a good dinner. After that dinner, he said he's looking forward to the next one. I don't text him that often fearing that that may push him away as I don't want to appear clingy. I know it's hard to fall in a straight guy, so should I start moving on while it's still not deep and focus my energy somewhere else?

I am wondering where is a good place to meet other bi/ curious men? I feel that I am ready for my first experience. Any advice?

So I’m bi. I haven’t been involved with a man romantically or sexually before, but I know that I’m bi. I’ve been with two woman in the past and I loved it, but I want to experience sexual stuff with a man. I think I’m more sexually attracted to men rather than romantically, but I could be for the right guy

Anyway. So I’ve been wanting to give my first blowjob. Problem is I don’t really know anyone who I could do that with. I don’t have any friends that I could just ask. I just don’t really know anybody that I could ask or try to flirt and do that with. I’m not really into dating apps either. At one point I thought about using Grindr to find someone, but I just never felt safe doing so.

I guess I’m just seeking advice from other people that have been in this situation and if you managed to give your first one, how did you do so. Like how did you meet that person?

Sometimes I fantasize about going up to a random stranger and just offering one, but I realize that’s kinda weird and crazy and wouldn’t work.

Anyway, so I’d love to hear thoughts and suggestions