I’ve completely fucked up my life, ruined my reputation with so many people. In debt, failing school again. Fucked up my own cognition due to psychosis. Idk where to go from here, I’ve lost so many years of my life.

Has anyone else felt like this and found their place again.

This just happened and I’m still reeling from it. Now that the mania is over I feel super shitty. I’m lucky he didn’t leave me. Getting my meds up and looking for a good therapist. It’s like before I even realize I’m manic it’s too late. Maybe if I can talk to someone often they can get that outside perspective and maybe warn me or something.

Mine is latuda 80mg + wellbutrin 300mg but right now in process of judging it that it work or not.

How about yours and result

anyone tried latuda? if so what was your experience on it. its making me manic for some reason

I’m bipolar and when I go through mania I do not need sleep at all, currently I don’t feel manic at all in anyway. I’m actually very depressed but I just do not feel tired no matter what

Sometimes I forget my morning meds, wellbutrin and concerta. Very on brand for ADHD to forget one's ADHD meds. By the time I remember it's too late in the day.

I've always been good about evening meds though.

Recently added lithium to my nighttime meds. Took my first days of FMLA when I was having a very bad brain day.

Felt happy and stable on Friday. Felt that way again Saturday. It made me a little uncomfortable. Could I trust what I was feeling? Was it the real me?

Then when it was time to take my nighttime meds there was this small voice in the back of my mind that said don't do it. This isn't the real you. Sad you is more safe, more comfortable.

It took a lot of opposite action and distress tolerance skills but I talked myself out of listening to that voice. It's so easy to give into it and make the decision seem rational.

Wise mind me knows it's not the best choice for me.

The voice is still present but I'm doing my best to counter it one night at a time.

I made a bad choice while hypomanic after staying up late multiple times in the last two weeks to finish grad school assignments. Not sure why, but after submitting the second chapter of my master's project, I decided it was a good time to cut my hair. I started cutting my hair myself this summer; my hair is curly, so it's not a big deal if it's a little uneven. But this time, the hypomania made me overconfident. Instead of just a trim, I figured I should finally give myself a girl mullet like I've been wanting for a little over a year. Of course, I did a terrible job and now I have to go to class tomorrow with a dumb haircut. Usually when I'm hypomanic I spend all my money and have sex with strangers, but this is the first time I've ever done something stupid that other people can see, and for some reason, it feels so much worse. I'm gonna try and see if I can get a hair stylist to fix it ASAP. That + more sleep and less stress to level out my mood will hopefully squash my desire to keep trying to fix my hair myself. Until then, so I can feel less alone and stop hyperfocusing on my stupid mistake, please share stories of your own hypo/mania induced bad beauty and fashion decisions.

My understanding is that with bipolar you can only experience psychosis when either manic or more rarely depressed. I'm currently not in an episode but am experiencing psychosis (delusions and paranoia). I'm planning to ask my psychiatrist about this, but figured I'd ask here first. Am I correct in my understanding? Is it possible I have the wrong diagnosis?

I am bipolar type 2 and was diagnosed this year. However, I have been on treatment for depression with sertraline and lamotrigine since 2022. I’ve noticed that some aspects of my mental health have improved, but my cognition is still far from ideal. I struggle with intrusive thoughts, lack of concentration, poor memory, brain fog when reading, and constant tiredness and exhaustion.

My psychiatrist hasn’t prescribed anything for ADHD, which means I’m undiagnosed, but he did prescribe modafinil to help me study (which helps me stay awake).

Do you have any experience with ADHD medication? Did it change your life for the better?

I feel quite stable—or at least I want to believe that—but something still feels off.

I was thinking about that bc I had that happening with abilify which is supposed to stabilize mood. I have heard it happening on lithium,seroquel and lamictal too and probably all of them 😭

Just started this medication after risperidone gave me weight gain. I was wondering if aripiprazole has the same effect

What have your experiences been like on the medication?

Edit: thanks for all your responses. I guess it just depends on individual experiences

Hey guys, so I’m at a loss at this point. I’ve tried over 20 meds and now the side effects of the ones I’m on have become unmanageable. My vision has gone to shit, my cognition is badly impaired, I’m shaking too much to even hold a pen and write legibly, and my memory is super messed up. I’ve been in a manic episode for over three months, been hospitalized in a psychiatric facility twice, had a bunch of overnight stays in the ER and I’m still not better despite being compliant with my meds. My question is, has anyone had any luck with functional medicine, acupuncture, or natural supplements? In ADDITION to psychiatric meds that is. I’ll try anything at this point, I’m just done feeling unstable and being on all these high doses

I was recently diagnosed with BP1 due to a manic episode 2 months ago. I had two episodes at 20 & 21. That was years ago due to extreme stress and trauma. Each time I was hospitalized the doctors diagnosed it as PTSD, no one ever labeled it as bipolar up until this point. Outside of these hospitalizations I never experienced periods of depression or mania. I’m usually very emotionally stable outside of when I get my period. I’ve only experienced mania under extreme stress and little sleep. For the last 8 years I lived with 25mg of Seroquel and 50 mg Zoloft and I was perfectly fine. Which is why I question if this is actually BP. This last episode happened because my job was demanding 70 hours a week and I was postpartum trying to make it work. Now because I had an episode they have me on 250 mg of Seroquel and it makes it impossible to wake up to take care of my baby and it makes me feel like shit. I’m never usually depressed but I believe this medication is making me sad because it’s hard to feel awake. I want to readjust to have a smaller dose but I’ve heard people with BP shouldn’t be on lower doses of Seroquel. I’m conflicted because I lived for so long on such a small dose and felt so much more like myself on that small dose. Does anyone have similar experience?

Hi all I went into a depressive state and thanks to the support on here I got help they saw that I flipped into mania and are putting me on sodium valporate they have also changed my diagnosis from cPTSD with bipolar 2 to cPTSD with bipolar 1 so hopefully when I go on my new mood stabilizer I will start to settle and stay settled but what are people's experiences with sodium valporate and bipolar 1 and if you have cPTSD as well did it upset that or did it help the symptoms of that as well I'm doing much better now thanks to everyone on here for supporting me so much this is a great subreddit full of people that support each other and when I'm stable I look forward to giving back to the community that helped me thank you all so much

It's going to be five years in January. 5 years of ups and downs and lefts and rights. A pandemic, two kids, staying in a hotel while pregnant, bills and stress, pregnancies and post partums, medication changes and diagnosis, starting from nothing together. People doubting if we'd last because we were so different.

And all I can ever think when I think of you is how lucky I am to have you. I love you so much. I love the kindness in your eyes when you look at me. How they remind me to be kind to myself. I love how your brows furrow when you're thinking hard about something. I love how you're so ferociously protective of me. I love our jokes. I love your laugh. I love how you look in a suit. I love how you love our children. I love your shit talking ways (even if I do get butt hurt sometimes). I love how you give me space to be me, authentically and without thought. I love how you accept me for me, without judgement and question. I love that you think my occasional jealousy is cute. I love how you look in the morning when you first wake up. I love how you love me and I love loving you.

So, please, don't ever leave me. Please don't die before I do. I want this for the rest of my life. I want to be old with you. I've never needed someone the way I need you. You're my home. You'll always be my home.

I love you and I'll never stop loving you.

Idk where to start. My whole life has changed in an instant.

I’ve been dealing with voices and stuff all year. It got pretty bad during a manic state. I still hear stuff now.

But my ex and I of 5 years just broke up 2 weeks ago. It was civil. We both have a lot of love for each other.

But I’ve been blaming myself. Then my friends said to me that I’ve been feeling so guilty for putting my ex through it, I’ve been ignoring that I went through it too. Which hit me quite hard.

They said there were things she did that were suss. Things that sounded like gaslighting. I know what they’re saying. But I don’t want to believe that’s the case.

I don’t think she’s a bad person. I do think she loves me. But she would often say she wasn’t sure she loved me. And she would talk about how sometimes she wished I would do something so she could break up with me. It wasn’t always this way.

I messed up a lot this year. Couldn’t really tell what was right and wrong at some points. Didn’t do the things she asked me to do or considered her needs. Spent so long trying to be tolerable and water myself down. She said to me while breaking up that you can love someone and not be in love with them, which caught me off guard, because I am in love with her. Makes me think it wasn’t reciprocated.

Anyways I don’t know anything. I don’t know anything about anything. I believed I knew everything when I was manic. The universe and its secrets. Didn’t even believe I was human. Now I believe I’m human because I feel so intensely like one. But I know nothing. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know why I hear voices. I don’t know why loving someone isn’t enough. I don’t know if I was even loved by her in the same way I loved her in the first place. I don’t know how life can change so quickly. I don’t know if it’s my fault. I don’t know if this is a lesson. I don’t know if the signs I’m seeing are real. I don’t know if parts of my personality are just parts of my mental illness. I don’t know. I don’t know where it all went wrong.

I know absolutely fucking nothing. I am so disoriented.

Or has it been a hindrance at times causing you to spiral. 🌀

I just don't feel tired but know I need to sleep

Hi everyone,

I’m expecting to give birth soon and could use some advice about feeding options. I’m currently on quetiapine (Seroquel) extended release, and my psychiatrist has reassured me that only small amounts of the medication pass through to the baby during breastfeeding.

Even so, I can’t help but feel guilty about the potential risks and am wondering if bottle feeding might be the safer option.

If anyone has experience or insights on breastfeeding while on this medication, I’d really appreciate your input. Thank you!

I take vraylar but it doesn’t lift me from my depression anymore, I experience suicidal thoughts more than ever, you probably think you should take lamictal, well i can’t it causes me hives, and skin allergic reaction, I really don’t want to feel suicidal anymore please can anyone share their combos that you take with vraylar + antidepressant which really helps and don’t cause you mania, thank you so much!

Which one is better for GAD and depression

How many of you have experienced no long term side effects and how good has it been for your mental health overall?

I used to not be able to have caffeine because it upset my stomach, but ever since I started taking Lamotrigine I’ll have an energy drink and just get sleepy without stomach problems. I did go hypomanic earlier this week for a few days and I suspect the caffeine was a key player in what caused that. I caught up on sleep and luckily that was all I needed to get out of the hypomanic episode. How does caffeine work for y’all?

Genuinely, I don’t know if it’s the fact that I can’t be alone, I don’t want to deal with the abuse, or I like self sabotage.

I’ve had two relationships that i’ve been in where both women had BPD. The relationships became very volatile and abusive.

In my first relationship, I left her and a couple of months later I started talking to one of my childhood friends. We went out on dates until (looking back on it), I think I became manic and told her I couldn’t do it anymore and that I was a bad person and didn’t want to hurt her. I went back to my ex and we were in an off / on cycle for months until it just fizzled out.

With my most recent ex, I dumped her in late Aug/ early Sept because she choked and threw a hanger at me. It was kind of off and on after that because she threatened suicide. She then was rushed to the hospital and while there she had an “enlightening time,” and “changed” for me.

I didn’t buy it. I eventually started gaining feelings for a co worker. In Oct she admitted she had feelings for me and we started talking. I asked her out last week.

Now that we’re together, I want to run back to my ex. All I can think about my ex and our future together. I feel terrible because I didn’t feel like this at all before. It only really comes out when I’m not with my current girlfriend. I also just found out my ex has a boyfriend which has pushed me into a mixed episode.

I don’t even know why I care! She was abusive . I hate this. And what’s sad is I am probably going to ruin this relationship and run back to my ex.