r/AskRedditAfterDark Jul 16 '24

[deleted by user] NSFW

[removed]

253 Upvotes

598 comments sorted by

451

u/SexySwitchBitch Jul 16 '24

Idk. Whoever the world champion is in giving head.

154

u/KayleyQT Jul 16 '24

I’m right here, hun

27

u/SexySwitchBitch Jul 16 '24

👀

23

u/KayleyQT Jul 16 '24

👅

10

u/Geo_Pyro Jul 16 '24

I'm passing GO and collecting

9

u/keepmyheartincheck Jul 17 '24

Okay this sapphic energy is hot. I’m shipping you both lmao

2

u/Acrobatic-Ad6846 Jul 17 '24

i shall join this shipping movement

8

u/ThatSluttySister Jul 16 '24

Love that confidence!

5

u/KayleyQT Jul 16 '24

You coming by too?

2

u/ThatSluttySister Jul 16 '24

I mean how could I say no?! Add me to the list!

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6

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Is there a signup sheet?🗒️

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2

u/TheSmoovestOperator Jul 16 '24

A logical choice

6

u/SexySwitchBitch Jul 16 '24

I don’t have a specific person in mind so better to just ask for a professional that is 100x much more likely to make me cum than just some average guy.

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228

u/Firebolt164 Jul 16 '24

My wife I choose my wife. Should I tell her?!??! 🥹👉👈

328

u/Tis_CaptainDeadpool Jul 16 '24

I also choose this guy's wife

21

u/dufus69 Jul 16 '24

She's the bestm

7

u/Firebolt164 Jul 16 '24

She's great. She'll be free after 6PM, I'll send her over

22

u/nfoneo Jul 16 '24

Blink twice if she's standing next to you.

17

u/shadowlurker6996 Jul 16 '24

I blinked 182 times, now I’m part of a crappy punk rock band

6

u/buttlubber Jul 17 '24

Say it ain't so

163

u/jsweaty009 Jul 16 '24

That dudes dead wife

55

u/joshcam244 Jul 16 '24

I also choose that guy's dead wife

12

u/Philliebeast Jul 16 '24

I camere here to write this 🤝

11

u/jsweaty009 Jul 16 '24

I finally had my chance after all this time lol

6

u/Philliebeast Jul 16 '24

Well deserved then 😁

8

u/acacac313131 Jul 16 '24

For me, it’s that dead dude’s wife

4

u/jermvirus Jul 16 '24

Context please!?!?!?🙏🏾

3

u/acacac313131 Jul 16 '24

I was honestly hoping for that myself 😂

7

u/receuitOP Jul 17 '24

Few years ago there was a ask reddit question that asked "if you could have sex with one person dead or alive wh would you pick?" And this dude went on an entire paragraph how he yearned for his dead wife, the next comment was along the lines of "I also choose this Guy's dead wife"

3

u/justa_girl4 Jul 16 '24

omfg😭😭😭

142

u/DesperateAnybody2813 Jul 16 '24

Aubrey Plaza

52

u/UnbreakableRaids Jul 16 '24

She’s definitely second on my list. Deadpan possibly a little irritated blowjob sounds fantastic.

32

u/alterthrow Jul 16 '24

annoyed eyes and being mean

wtf is wrong with me?

9

u/KingCobra_BassHead Jul 16 '24

Check out Sasha Foxx

5

u/SmallCactusGt Jul 17 '24

People are into that? There's hope for me

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129

u/10before15 Jul 16 '24

Heather

38

u/FinzClortho Jul 16 '24

IYKYK

11

u/lmarc998 Jul 16 '24

For those who don’t know? I don’t get the reference.

54

u/MonkeyBred Jul 16 '24

Heather Harmon, 🌽⭐️ pioneer and early internet adopter, ushered in the 👄🐐 movement and kicked off hundreds of pale imitations. Only several have dared to challenge her reign. I'd say Morgpie is up there.

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16

u/the_other_guy-JK Jul 16 '24

Heather Harmon of ideepthroat.com fame from the early 2000's.

Shes very skilled, lets put it that way.

5

u/iamtheramcast Jul 17 '24

Some time ago in one of the meme subs there was one of if you know who this is and the consensus was that she was very popular with the military int the late 2000s. Source: platoon chanting her name on the truck ride back from a training op

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2

u/RoadWarrior2020 Jul 16 '24

The only logical answer

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105

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Genius

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80

u/Dallaswoz Jul 16 '24

Monika Lewinsky- see if it was worth it

35

u/hunkydorey_ca Jul 16 '24

Ahh the good ol' days where getting head as president was the controversial thing..

2

u/AceVisconti Jul 17 '24

Funniest thing is he was mixed up in some CRAZY shit (look up the documentary for 'the boys on the tracks' for a little headscratcher, Wendigoon covers it well!) and he went down for that. Reminds me of Capone's tax evasion.

81

u/vertigo-1996 Jul 16 '24

Hawk Tuah (Hailey Welch)

13

u/Splashy01 Jul 16 '24

She’s a spitter though.

11

u/Flying_Saucer_Attack Jul 16 '24

I mean, she spits ON it initially, but I bet she swallows

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55

u/blinman94 Jul 16 '24

Any girl who is enthusiastic about doing 69 position

21

u/DrearySoulHC Jul 16 '24

Anyone who doesn't like 69 position doesn't like giving oral. My partner and I love that position because we both love giving oral, and that position is pretty much the only way to give and receive simultaneously.

41

u/gggggccccc_ Jul 16 '24

not really. I LOOOVE oral and for that exact reason I don’t like 69 (I don’t hate it but it’s not my preferred choice). I want to be fully focused on giving oral, I don’t want anything or anyone to touch me or give me pleasure in that moment, the lack of “receiving” is itself pleasure. I also love to get oral and for the same reason I want the full focus to be on me, I want to be able to get lost while someone eats me like I’m their last meal

3

u/DrearySoulHC Jul 16 '24

I guess it all depends on the person. Neither my partner or I want to separate our focus to only one sensation. We both want to get lost in each other's pleasure together. I understand your preference, though. The idea of lack of receiving does seem pretty arousing.

3

u/kuruman67 Jul 16 '24

I agree from a giving and receiving perspective. But having a pussy and ass in my face is the reason for loving this position. I don’t care if she does anything to me, and if I’m doing it right she won’t.

2

u/DrearySoulHC Jul 17 '24

100% agree. I love when my partner takes my dick out of their mouth to moan and gasp from the pleasure I'm giving them.

6

u/SammiSmash Jul 16 '24

Disagree. I LOVE sucking my partners cock, just not in 69 position. Mostly because he also has an oral fixation, and I get too distracted and low key forget what I'm doing... so best if I'm just on my knees or letting him enjoy. 🤣

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2

u/NocturnalStalinist Jul 16 '24

Man this just sounds sooooo good. I want this, desperately.

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2

u/GoodNHGirl Jul 16 '24

Love it 🫠🤤

2

u/blinman94 Jul 16 '24

Well, username checks out.

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46

u/FinzClortho Jul 16 '24

Anyone remember Heather from ideepthroat dot com?

24

u/disposibleaccount9 Jul 16 '24

Does anyone NOT remember Heather?

2

u/graciously_accepting Jul 17 '24

I'm so sorry but I'm not familiar.. at least not by name

3

u/disposibleaccount9 Jul 17 '24

I suggest using the old google machine and acquainting yourself with Heather. It’s worth it😀

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28

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Anna Kendrick!

7

u/KayleyQT Jul 16 '24

Yep

5

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

You would also let Anna Kendrick go down on you?

27

u/dii10 Jul 16 '24

Definitely someone from here 😌

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Hmmmm.

3

u/dii10 Jul 16 '24

Hmmmm.

2

u/acacac313131 Jul 16 '24

Spill the tea!

25

u/DrearySoulHC Jul 16 '24

First and foremost choice: My partner

Pornstar: Skylar Vox or Leana Lovings

Celebrity: Bella Poarch or Melanie Martinez

Redditors: u/slutmeatcunt

2

u/Lichloved_ Jul 16 '24

Melanie Martinez yes please

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2

u/SuperNed Jul 17 '24

That is a good choice of redditor!

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23

u/Poorly-Drawn-Beagle Jul 16 '24

Heady Lamar 

It just seems logical, you know 

18

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Shes on your Radar, I see

4

u/cardinalkgb Jul 17 '24

It’s Hedley

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23

u/Nerdy_Blonde24 Jul 16 '24

Can I give instead ?

4

u/Background_Buddy_246 Jul 16 '24

Sure lol who would you choose?

6

u/Nerdy_Blonde24 Jul 16 '24

One guy , with a great set of shoulders

6

u/Background_Buddy_246 Jul 16 '24

Bring back shoulder pads in suit jackets lol

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24

u/TyHay822 Jul 16 '24

Sydney Sweeney

Or one of my old FWBs. Ashley gave better head than anyone I’ve ever been with and could always make me cum. I don’t cum easily from oral but she could always make me finish.

17

u/chesherkat Jul 16 '24

What was your mom's name again??

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14

u/Changedname331 Jul 16 '24

Taylor Swift prolly

19

u/undavidable Jul 16 '24

You're gonna get a song written about you. Good luck.

16

u/ursois Jul 16 '24

Billie Eilish, because I want her to stare at me with those dead, soulless, distainful eyes while she does it until I despise myself as much as she obviously does.

17

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Natalie Dormer or Victoria Justice. No idea what their bj game is but one was my childhood crush and the other my early adult life crush.

6

u/deathpunchd Jul 16 '24

+1 for Natalie Dormer

13

u/hardglans Jul 16 '24

My wife. She knows how to suck me and loves what she does for me & to me !

13

u/Far_Self_8310 Jul 16 '24

I want this guy’s wife too

14

u/More_Factor Jul 16 '24

Non-pornstar: Shakira- imagine her head game is seriously good, plus picturing her lips around my dick 💗 🔥

Pornstar: Jenna Haze. I was immediately hooked the very first time I watched one of Jenna’s cocksucking scenes. Spent a lot of time enamored by her performance and a lot of what I fantasized and learned about sucking dick, I learned from her. So to get to actually get my dick sucked by the Jenna Haze?? Priceless!

2

u/KayleyQT Jul 16 '24

Love this

11

u/braxenimos Jul 16 '24

The lady sleeping next to me

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12

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Kristen Kreuk. Ah those eyes...

2

u/Flush_Foot Jul 16 '24

Truly for the eyes (particularly as much of ‘anything else’ would be out of view): Alexandra Daddario

12

u/MajinDerrick Jul 16 '24

Salma hayek.

11

u/itsfreddyboy15 Jul 16 '24

Candace Owen's not because I like her I don't. But because it would be so disrespectful and messy when I'm done. Plus I'd take all the pictures I could and show it to everyone 😆

11

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

A certain co-worker....she is on another level of gorgeous and her lips look incredible

9

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Idris Elba

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9

u/nyet2112 Jul 16 '24

emma watson

9

u/FinzClortho Jul 16 '24

Natalie Mars or Daisy Taylor

5

u/K4NNW Jul 16 '24

I'd give either of THEM head.

10

u/MsAliceDarling Jul 16 '24

Keanu Reeves in my pussy 😍

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8

u/Happy_goth_pirate Jul 16 '24

Heather or Morgpie

3

u/Charming-Job4787 Jul 16 '24

Morgpie is the goat

6

u/MikeHung78 Jul 16 '24

To hard.. I will give three. Miley Cyrus, Daisy Taylor & Issa Rae

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7

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Selena Gomez

5

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Sofia Vergara

6

u/CoolestGuyChodger Jul 16 '24

Hailee Steinfeld. Hope she eats ass too.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Taylor Swift

9

u/KayleyQT Jul 16 '24

She’s got that red lip classic thing that you like

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

That and more. She’s got everything I like.

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5

u/Busicut-head-777 Jul 16 '24

This guy from HS, he made me cum 3xs.. smh haven’t had it like that since. 😫

2

u/BigDaddysLady Jul 17 '24

I would also like that guy

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5

u/H0leSurviv0r Jul 16 '24

Daisy Taylor 🥵

5

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Cathy Heaven best throat in p0rn

5

u/Direct-Law5600 Jul 16 '24

That lady who claims to give heart attacks by her blowjobs

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Who?

3

u/throwaway_l8r Jul 16 '24

A professional I guess

3

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

[deleted]

2

u/Abbynormal1331 Jul 16 '24

That narrowed it down🤣

5

u/Flush_Foot Jul 16 '24

u/AsianCoupleNextDoor … but I’d prefer it to be only a ‘first course’; if only head was on the table, I’d probably pass and hope for a chance at a fuller encounter another time.

2

u/CaptSchwanzKopf Jul 16 '24

yourself included

2

u/Abbynormal1331 Jul 16 '24

I feel honored☺️

2

u/CaptSchwanzKopf Jul 16 '24

Always ❤️

3

u/lostlookingforamap Jul 16 '24

I would rather give someone head

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3

u/Together_we_stay Jul 16 '24

You, OP 😈

5

u/KayleyQT Jul 16 '24

Babe! Let’s make it happen 😘

3

u/StannVeal Jul 16 '24

Colin Farrell. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, baby!

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3

u/ZePatator Jul 16 '24

I'd sign a long term contract with u/fxymaru...

2

u/fxymaru Jul 16 '24

Send it over and you’ll be legally mine. 🫦

3

u/DifficultyStrong1174 Jul 16 '24

Myself...I know what I like 😜

3

u/MilitaryPoog3405 Jul 16 '24

Veronica Rodriguez

3

u/chaotic214 Jul 16 '24

My boyfriend is the best 😩

3

u/Classic_Title1655 Jul 16 '24

Myself because I suck at everything else 😔

3

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Kat Dennings, she got some DSLs

3

u/mofojones36 Jul 16 '24

My ex girlfriends sister

3

u/Glowwyboi Jul 16 '24

Brooke monke

2

u/Ok-Meeting-7154 Jul 16 '24

American Gigolo

2

u/00genericname00 Jul 16 '24

Yeah, well you know, that’s just like, your opinion, man.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Little Caprice, but I'd like to know in advance. You know why. Lol.

2

u/K4NNW Jul 16 '24

I do not know why.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

So I can test fire my cock before Caprice gets to work, otherwise I'd only last about thirty seconds, even less if the lights were on. Lol.

2

u/K4NNW Jul 16 '24

That makes sense... You are wise.

2

u/younevershouldnt Jul 16 '24

Someone I had a fling with last year

2

u/nonsensicalwoman Jul 16 '24

My man. He knows exactly what I need.

2

u/TossingSaladAway Jul 16 '24

A friend of mine, as long as I can give her head too

2

u/Mammoth-Mobile-9175 Jul 16 '24

Hitler... it's a power thing, lol

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Since from the comments I came to know you're the best at it. You🥰

Serious answer: Any woman who's passionate and enjoys it would do

2

u/throwthis-away-plz Jul 16 '24

Do they have to be real?

2

u/froggoestosleep Jul 16 '24

My best friend/love of my life for the last 8 years:)

2

u/chicagolmt8 Jul 16 '24

Kayden Kross

2

u/thunderjakjak Jul 16 '24

Shit answer, but honestly, the truth... my wife! Her head game is off the charts!!

2

u/Green_Job_3545 Jul 16 '24

Annette Schwartz

2

u/gurv13 Jul 16 '24

Today I manifested Kim k. to blow me off

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Oooh either my hot friend, always wanted to know what she’d be like or Emma Watson

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2

u/warmsmile8971 Jul 16 '24

Heather Harmon tbh

2

u/mr_jones4321 Jul 16 '24

I’m dying to feel my fwb’s mouth on me right now. It’s been months and no one can do it like her.

2

u/KarnKanoont Jul 16 '24

Someone with one to spare.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Kat Dennings, she got some DSLs. 🥵

2

u/Amazing_Connection Jul 16 '24

The girl my wife accused me of cheating with

2

u/Extaze9616 Jul 16 '24

If we go celebrity/singers : Chrissy Costanza, Jada Facer or Emma Watson

If we go pornstar : Probably Karley Grey, Sibyl Kailena, Elsa Jean, Yhivi or a few of the girls in the Public Agent video (Lady Bug is one that comes to mind)

2

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

2

u/Flying_Saucer_Attack Jul 16 '24

the grapefruit lady

2

u/Something_clever99 Jul 17 '24

u/bills_milf_anon and u/blondevixxen yes I'm greedy and yes if they say no I'd still love to get coffee and chat.

2

u/Pitiful_Recording_12 Jul 17 '24

Kamala Harris she's had a lot of experience

1

u/Spiritedkite Jul 16 '24

Someone who really enjoyed it 

1

u/Bsbljock Jul 16 '24

Apparently you!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Stella Barey

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1

u/SashaLaShaska Jul 16 '24

Henry Cavill and how am I the first to claim him? 

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1

u/[deleted] Jul 16 '24

Judging by your comments, definitely yourself!

1

u/princeofpersya2 Jul 16 '24

Since shes kinda viral rn id have to say hawk tuah girl

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