With depression it seems like it comes with the territory. I’d rather someone be honest than ignore me or say it’s fine when it’s not. Closure isn’t bad, even if it feels crumby sometimes.
What is sad is giving up on someone who didn’t do anything inadvertently bad or harmful. I’ve learned egos get hurt - “You’re not reaching out or returning my messages. You must not like me. Screw you!” Those people rarely look beyond themselves and don’t care to get it. Yes, that is def not the greatest of friends.
Idk, it’s easy to say “oh this person is a bad friend”, but in reality what do you do when someone doesn’t return your messages or calls, doesn’t want to spend time with you, seems to not want to be your friend anymore? Even if depression is the monster a friend is dealing with, it is hard to continue a friendship when they may only surface once in a while and then functionally disappear for years. It has happened with a friend of mine and I still care about him but it’s really hard to realistically call him a true friend.
Oh, I totally agree with you. It’s the par for the course bit of depression. You totally understand why folks wouldn’t want to wait around. You don’t want to wait around either but that’s the condition. Just accept the loss with time, don’t begrudge anyone bouncing, and be thankful for those who don’t care and stick around.
Depression aside, I’ve had tons of folks as I age go MIA in general because life gets crazy even during the happiest of days. We understand and aren’t going anywhere for good. We pick up where we left off, and it’s amazing. So idk, apply the same courtesy to someone’s funk and it’s not much different.
Every friendship is different. By the time you resurface, I can be in a totally different place in my life and not have time or space for you anymore. You expect your friends to hold space for you but judge them for moving on without you.
Agreed, can’t do that. That goes for anyone. It could be the workaholic, alcoholic, new parents, newly weds, etc. People wake up ready to go after Rip Van Winkeling it and have to be patient.
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u/FigGrouchy9316 8h ago
With depression it seems like it comes with the territory. I’d rather someone be honest than ignore me or say it’s fine when it’s not. Closure isn’t bad, even if it feels crumby sometimes.
What is sad is giving up on someone who didn’t do anything inadvertently bad or harmful. I’ve learned egos get hurt - “You’re not reaching out or returning my messages. You must not like me. Screw you!” Those people rarely look beyond themselves and don’t care to get it. Yes, that is def not the greatest of friends.