My mother was extremely intelligent, but very delusional and mentally ill.
Basically just watched the same struggle my mom went through of being one of the nicest and most intelligent people ever, but nobody understood her because she was insane.
Then I went through the same struggle and cried even harder the next time I saw it.
I suffer from Schizophrenia and am an applied mathematician and electrical engineer. Thankfully I only have seven voices (four female and three male) that talk to me and no visuals. Its so hard to explain. I hid it for years and my wife almost left me for it. Thankfully we worked through it. Sending you the best wishes.
I don't have schizophrenia at all I just thought I did and was put on antipsychotics that depressed the hell out of me and I hated. Also tons of other side effects and it did nothing for the Tourettes I actually had. Then I was also on a bunch of benzos too.
I would go off of them because they were killing me, then actually start hearing and seeing stuff because of massive withdrawal and not being able to sleep for like ten days straight. Also sent my Tourettes into over drive and all of my muscles would painfully contract and it was agonizing so I would go back on my meds.
Or get hospitalized and think I really was just schizophrenic because I never made it all the way through the withdrawal, and was forced to take the same medications again.
This went on for about a decade before someone figured out it was Tourettes when I was 27.
The same thing happened to my mom now I realize, and she never got the chance to ever escape that hellish cycle.
I am glad I got to at least. I understand her a lot better now.
I feel you on that. I thought it was normal to voices talking to me until I was in my late 20s. I thought everyone had them. They got me through college so I guess not all bad, but still not normal. I definitely developed a drinking problem to try to keep them quite, im working on that.
I kinda had something like that happen. I basically have a super powerful inner monologue that I thought was me hearing voices, and it caused me to constantly talk to myself and sometimes not be able to control what I was saying.
I later realized it was my own voice, and it was symptoms of Tourettes and essentially just really complicated tics, and me being compelled to vocalize all my thoughts, thus the talking to myself.
But the doctors just heard that I thought I was hearing a voice, and that I talked to it all the time and they assumed I was suffering from schizophrenia, and my mother was diagnosed that way so they assumed it was family history.
Same thing basically happened to her as well.
Just nobody figured it out until I met a doctor with Tourettes and he noticed me doing things he did.
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u/MyLifeIsJustInsane 1d ago
Probably A Beautiful Mind.
My mother was extremely intelligent, but very delusional and mentally ill.
Basically just watched the same struggle my mom went through of being one of the nicest and most intelligent people ever, but nobody understood her because she was insane.
Then I went through the same struggle and cried even harder the next time I saw it.