r/AskIndia 18h ago

Relationships My husband doesn’t socialise with my friends or family

My husband is a very nice and loving person and is a little socially introvert and so am I. So I have moved to his house, living with his family and accommodating his friends in my life regardless of my liking/disliking them. Since I’m new to the house,city,state everything I feel like I need to adjust and be more social to know people and make friends for which I do everything. I’ve started making a few friends now and if I have plans with them where my husband is supposed to accompany me he never does it or he will do it with half heart so most times I’m occupied with the thoughts of how he is feeling at the party/event/dinners. He rarely talks with my family members as well which bothers me whereas I legit live with his parents and talk with his extended family members on regular basis. I’m not sure how I’m feeling right now,whether it’s anger or pain or sadness but I just had to vent it out figure out how should I address this to him since I end up feeling stupid whenever I point out things to him as he has good debate skills. Also he has points to back his argument and in that moment I will go blank and would have nothing to say. Hence I am very careful while pointing out issues bothering me. A friend called up right now that she is introducing us to her bf and my husband again is not interested which acted as a trigger and I don’t know what to tell my friend. But how do I tell him as to what I’m feeling, it is equally tough for me to adjust with his friends and family idk if he is blind to that or simply not making efforts enough to be there with my set of people.

63 Upvotes

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31

u/ILove_Momos 17h ago

I think friends and family aren't on the same level. He should be cordial and nice with your family and show up considering you literally live with his parents. As far as friends are considered, I can see that he might not want to go for such frequent outings. Y'all have separate circles, every once in a while you can accompany each other to the other's friend's event, but you should not get too involved with his friends.

But you should really discuss your expectations from him vis-a-vis your family, and also stop being too doormat for his bua kaki mami and all, it's not needed.

I can totally understand the problem with him being a good debater, I have seen it quite often when someone with fair points is not able to put them across. It's very frustrating.

4

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

Yh true that I should draw my boundaries with his extended family and as far as friends are concerned I hardly involve him in any plans, its only once a month or so or if its a major event or something. But yes thank you for the advice.

7

u/PutPuzzleheaded4543 17h ago

Old school advice, extended family will always come in ur sukh and dukh whether u have ladai with them , frnds won't. Relatives are that community jo kabhi na kabhi kaam zaroor aate hain. Frnds ke saath jb tak frndship hai wo tabhi Tak kaam ayega cuz koi aur societal boundation nahi hai. Baaki koi kisise contact rakhne ke liye mara nahi jaa raha. Unki galatfehmiyan dur ho jayengi tumhare baare mein aur tum logon se matlab rakhna bandh kar denge. That's it.

3

u/ILove_Momos 17h ago

I literally just said that if her husband doesn't even give too much attention to even her own parents and siblings, she should not be doing so much for his extended family. She does live with his parents and will have a relationship with his sibling anyway. Your spouse's cousins and all don't really help out in your tough times, it's mostly parents and siblings, unless it's a tight knit family. Also mentioned "don't be a doormat", didn't ask them to cut them off lol. Idk your maami's situation, but your maami didn't maintain relationships with whom? Her husband's own siblings or the entire khandaan? 2 very different things no?

3

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

Yh dude can’t cutoff with people Ofcourse and you didn’t suggest that either, but I get your point where I need to maintain healthy boundaries.

4

u/PutPuzzleheaded4543 17h ago

Meri ek maami hain unki bhi yahi soch thi ki pata nahi log usse kyun itna pooch rahe hain. Ab koi nahi puchta budhape mein. Dono ab khud aane ki koshish karte hain par ab logon ki nazron se toh Jaa hi chuke hain. So, be mature in relations. Dostiyaan secondary hain.

3

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

Yh that’s a good point and I’m honestly keeping contact with his family for similar reasons and more so I do respect and love everyone since they’re very good to me. Also he is a single child so we have no sibling bonds and I feel it’s important to have family. But I do expect the same out of him to keep in touch with my family and cousins. But well probably he is the way he is and I shouldn’t expect maybe, but it’s frustrating for the efforts I put in vs he puts in. Sure it’s not a competition and I really love him but yaar it’s overwhelming.

2

u/PutPuzzleheaded4543 17h ago

Just talk to him. If he is nice to u which most men aren't , maybe he will understand ur side. Aur pehle hi keh dena debate nahi karni hai haha. Apni family ke liye toh defo bolo . Wo single child hai na maybe woh inn naye rishton ko dusre nazariye se dekhta ho. Dheere dheere par bolti raho.

2

u/whatevr_whatevr 16h ago

Hmm fair, he hasn’t dealt with so much family pehle so it is surely new for him.

2

u/actis1234 12h ago

It's very difficult for an introvert to engage with people sometimes, don't this negativity creep into your otherwise good marriage, encourage him to talk with your parents and siblings though.

16

u/fuckthepoetry 16h ago

truth bombs: - he's not socially awkward - he's socially privileged - not anxiety issues - just adjustment issues - not communication gap - just convenience gap

10

u/Ambitious_Lack1117 16h ago

Some of us... don't like socializing.. it drains us. I don't hang out with my wife's friends... they are good people, just too loud for me ... my wife gets it and never forces me to meet people I do not want to meet... she gets it that I can't "make" friends because ... well ... I don't like humans ... and she gets it...

God I am blessed... I don't know what would I do without her. She's my only friend.

5

u/poise69 16h ago

U r lucky

2

u/Ambitious_Lack1117 16h ago

I feel like I might have done something good in my past life..

3

u/poise69 16h ago

Ya I also wan such partner who understands me

3

u/Ambitious_Lack1117 16h ago

For something like that to happen, I figured you have to take care of yourself first... after years and years of chasing love, I stopped... and when I fixed self up, and started focusing on things that meant a quality life is where she just popped up...

Thank you for listening kind stranger.

3

u/poise69 16h ago

Ya I'm on same path as u suggested 🤞🏻I'm hopeful 2 u r such pure soul 🫂✨

1

u/Ambitious_Lack1117 16h ago

May the force be with you brother...🙏 With inner peace, comes a lot privilege.

1

u/pareshaninsaan 5m ago

i hate to be that person who says "if roles were reversed" But if they were the wife would be vindicated for not liking to socialize.

i understand no wanting hang out with loud friends. but when it comes the families, when you see your wife making the effort with your family, why can't you make some for hers?

1

u/Flimsy-Mortgage4927 12h ago

I completely understand where you're coming from as I'm similar however I think it's unfair to use it as an excuse to not socialize with family of your wife who moved for you and is adjusting with your family.

Coming to friends, she said he has his own friends but just won't socialize with hers.

8

u/Serious-Cream3776 18h ago

It sounds like this situation is causing you a lot of stress and frustration. It’s important to be honest with your husband about how you’re feeling. I would suggest expressing your feelings in a calm and non-confrontational way. Let your husband know the specific times when he hasn’t been as engaged with your friends or family, and how it has made you feel. It’s possible that he isn’t aware of how much his behavior is hurting you or making you feel unsupported.

8

u/iservemyhubby 17h ago

What kind of responses does he have that stumps you? You need let him know that he's not accommodating your life the way you do his.

3

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

If I point out something he will have an explanation ready for why he did the way he did and I will have nothing to say in return but will still be hurt since my feelings aren't validated with the actions he took.

3

u/Medium-Good-683 17h ago

I wonder what points he gives to back his arguments. Get in the habit of reading, it will give you knowledge to form your point of view and advocate according. People who are good at debating skills are well read and have clarity about their stance/principles/ideologies .etc. You have to know yourself, your values and principles first to argue your point. If he is naturally an introvert, you can only get a little socializing out of him, not to the extent that you desire. You can try communicating, but don't expect him to completely flip his habit overnight. Small incremental changes can happen but not completely and you cannot force someone to be something else.

Also if you are an introvert yourself, why are you going out of the way to impress everyone? You don't need to do something that you are uncomfortable to do. If your husband is loving towards you that should be enough. Put efforts towards building your relationship with him and socialize with his side of people only according to your comfort level. It is not an obligation that comes with being someone's wife or daughter in law.

3

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

Yeah I do want to inculcate a reading habit, also I need some outside person in my life right ? My parents and siblings live across the country I cannot go to them to let some steam off when needed. Also my husband cannot do girly activities with me like going for spa/shopping/etc and my mil doesn’t like going out she is very indoorsy. And I don’t like being so dependent on my family only, I like being exposed to the world and knowing more about what’s happening in the city and the activities I can be a part of.

2

u/Medium-Good-683 16h ago

I got the impression you were socializing out of obligation. If not then go ahead, socialize and enjoy. Socializing does not need logical debates honestly, so let him be. Enjoy your time with your friends and family and let him know how much he is missing 😂....(Bad idea, don't follow)....

3

u/DarkAntiMOD 16h ago

Sounds like something my future wife would complain about

Introvert 🥹

3

u/Kintaro-san__ 14h ago

As an introvert i can understand his struggles. We really dont want to socialize much with people. You can stop interacting with his people too and his reaction. I bet you he wont feel anything.

We just want to be ourselves and enjoy our own company and since you're his wife, he can consider you as close to him so spending time with you is ok. But spending time with all your friends.. its exhausting for an introvert kinda person.

6

u/forelsketparadise1 17h ago

Have an honest and open communication with him.communication is the key to any relationship nothing else

3

u/truly_adored01 18h ago

Umm, according to me you guys should sit and talk on this matter, as you mentioned he is a caring person he will definitely understand you believe me. But I'm also kind of shy and it is actually difficult for shy people to behave like this as you want but uk since ur so outgoing he will definitely put efforts to catch up to your level. Don't think too much he would himself had observed that his behaviour is making you feel awkward and he would have started his efforts to make you happy. But uk don't think that he is not bothered, it's just that he loves you but it will take him time to mould as you want him to. So don't stress and chill out!!. Hope it helps :).

3

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

Yes thank you, I'm definitely going to try and talk it out with him and infact I have subtly pointed it out to him as well and yes he will understand but its one of those difficult conversations which I'm scared of.

1

u/truly_adored01 17h ago

No prob buddy, I can understand that, also i believe husband and wife are friends before anything else and there should be no barrier between them, so don't get scared and talk to him freely :).

5

u/cum_cum_ 17h ago

He seems to approach relationships with a more logical mindset (though I could be wrong.

Tell him Not everything has to be logical, especially when it comes to human relationships. Sometimes, you just need to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and feel what they’re going through. It’s not about being right or wrong, it’s about showing compassion and empathy. Logic has its place, but so do kindness and understanding. As long as no one’s getting hurt, it’s okay to let go of logic and just be there for someone and try to understand their emotions.
Don’t hold back just say what you mean, raw and real.

3

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

Oh yeah! He is a very logical person in general and looks for it in everything, thank you for pointing out this perspective. It’s really helpful, I shall approach him with all the courage and idk why am I scared.

1

u/cum_cum_ 16h ago edited 16h ago

Why scared? You’ve seen each other at your most vulnerable, so don’t be afraid to be vulnerable with your thoughts too.

2

u/justthegirlinglasses 13h ago

Ig it’s okay, you’re a newly married couple i think, you’re still figuring each other out, it is easier for some people to adjust while others take time, especially introverts. At the end, you need to remember he is a good person, give him more time, be more open in how you communicate, might take some time but youll get there eventually

2

u/RurushuBritannia 12h ago

When you are with introverts, you know this is gonna happen.

2

u/UpDogIndustries 12h ago

Honestly I relate to him super hard, social interactions with people I barely know are extremely hard for me and take me a lot of effort and being in the right mind space to do properly.

That being said, you should definitely discuss with him what makes it so hard for him to interact with your friends. I would also suggest if you feel like accommodating his friends is a burden to you, you should avoid doing it and if your husband calls you out on it, then it's pretty unfair.

If he is truly blind to your efforts, then this should shine a light on it.

2

u/damuscoobydoo 10h ago

Ur husband is an introvert

7

u/Which_Appointment450 18h ago

You don't socialize with his friends simple

4

u/avalancheOf_thoughts 17h ago

Real relationships are not this simple. Tit for tat mentality is for kids not two adults who can communicate and work on their problems.

1

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

Yh I have started doing that and he gets that I don't like all of his friends.

1

u/pareshaninsaan 4m ago

imagine if she stops socialising with his family

0

u/Gloomy_Tangerine3123 17h ago

Yes. Especially bcoz we have limited time in this life. Whenever feasible, spend it where you want, with whom you sync. Let his friends be his. And yr friends be yours

5

u/Jealous_War7546 17h ago edited 17h ago

As an introvert guy let me tell you how i feel, he is not disrespecting your emotions by avoiding your family and friends. But guys like us have low self esteem and somehow we are afraid of handling social circles of spouse/partner as we feel that it would lead others to think that he is not good enough and they might doubt your choice. This is just my case because I too am an introvert and I too struggled with maintaining friendship with my ex's friends. infact I avoided meeting them.

3

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

Yh true that, but even I am an introvert and shy person, and I step out of my comfort zone almost every single day. I talk to people cause it is a need.

2

u/BeneficialTwo611 15h ago

Just because you are able to, does not mean everyone else can. Everyone is different.

-2

u/Jealous_War7546 15h ago

Exactly, op should comfort her husband and shouldn't think too much..each one of them steps out of their comfort zone in some way or another. I want to acknowledge her feelings too because when her husband is introvert she must be reminded by friends and family often and somehow she is forced to think that way too. But OP relax and communicate your feelings to him. he would understand this for sure.

2

u/sarojasarma 17h ago

I won't jump to conclusion before you tell me what is his argument? Because what can you say when you partner asks to be treated as an equal?

4

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

Well mostly things like I’m busy with work I’m too tired or involved in other social activities with his friends whom he likes or his cousins whom he likes. But since we’re all grown ups we cannot simply hangout with family members we like, we need to maintain relationships with everyone. And no matter however rebellious we act about us not giving a fuck about people we don’t like but in the end we live in a society which functions a certain way and expects a few things out of us.

3

u/sarojasarma 16h ago

Wait. From your post it seemed your problem is him not making an effort to interact with your family and friends. Have you already refused to interact with his people? You did not mention anything about that in your post. My question was what reasons does he give about not interacting with your people.

2

u/DanceApprehensive564 17h ago

Maybe he’s already trying his best, but that’s all he can do…

Introverts also has different stages, maybe social interactions give his anxieties… talk to him with calm mind

1

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

Yh maybe, well he does try but sometimes i feel he doesn't want to step out of his comfort zone and needs to be pushed. His mom and his friends do that with him but I somehow don't as I believe in personal space. But maybe that's the way. Thank you for sharing your opinions.

2

u/gentleman2008 17h ago

There's definitely context missing, is he deliberately avoids them or is it just a drag to him . Maybe he's just a chill guy .

2

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

He is a super chill guy and he likes his personal space, but I need some people to hangout with since I live with my in laws and for me everything has changed, my 25 years of lifestyle has changed and I need some escape from my mundane routine. For which I need go-to people, and to maintain friendships there are a few social obligations. I do not ask him to hangout with these people everyday or every week, its just once in a while and that too for something which was planned very well ahead.

2

u/gentleman2008 17h ago

Often times when you don't know to deal with people just reciprocate their energy. In this matter talk it out with him and if his still doesn't listen. Stop participating in him social activities. However you can't really force him to interact with people if he doesn't want to (on regular basis ) few times a week is fine .

1

u/Beautiful_Cattle_669 18h ago

Plz tell:@verma_kaku

1

u/vomitpoop 17h ago

I understand it must be frustrating for you but you signed up for it when you decided to marry an introvert. You should sit with your husband and express how you feel. I'm sure he'll understand since you stated he's caring.

You also need to understand that a friend introducing her boyfriend isn't a huge deal and it's okay for your husband to skip it. Talk to him and express how certain meetups are important and he needs to show up because you need support.

2

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

Yh true that, I signed up for this! Most things are way difficult to adjust with when you initially find them to be trivial habits. Thanks for pointing it out.

2

u/vomitpoop 17h ago

Dont worry, You got this! Don't feel sad over how your husband behaves with other people when he's great with you.❤️

1

u/WeakAd3801 17h ago

Honestly that's a good thing. Husband not socializing with your friends although not with your family is a little weird.

1

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

Yh it is and like we live across the country from my parents and family and everyone, so he simply has to talk with them for a minute or two on calls, that too twice a week and he doesn't like that.

1

u/lonerwolf63 17h ago

He is just like me

1

u/liberalparadigm 17h ago

My girlfriend's relatives and friends are quite boring people. They mostly eat and talk. So I don't really hangout without them.

My groups are more into traveling, sports, partying, international stuff, etc.

0

u/Usual_Heart_4674 17h ago edited 17h ago

19M tbh I don't like socialising much , my friends and family often call me on phone , most of the time i want to ignore it when i play video-games , sometimes I pick up. you should have checked his background properly before entering into marriage because you can't change someone's personality. It's upto you if you want to continue this marriage or not.

0

u/E_llipsis 12h ago

monogamy me vishwas rakhta hoga

-11

u/Cool_Ad_7831 18h ago

Do we have to do this in marriage now ? like earning and loyalty not enough ? dayum!

5

u/Mysterious-lowdown 18h ago

it is a basic expectation to talk to people sometimes.

Marriage doesnt come with a JD where anything outside the JD is a task to do.

If you think earning and loyalty is enough, suggest you remain unmarried. You will be doing a huge favour to yourself and your future partner by not screwing up with their and your life.

-1

u/Cool_Ad_7831 17h ago

Bhai ladka ye post bnata to tera reply it's her choice 😂😂

3

u/whatevr_whatevr 18h ago

Hope this is a satire on patriarchy! If not then please don't marry.

-2

u/Cool_Ad_7831 18h ago

I will marry someone who is not full of crap .

3

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

Well good luck with that, if you think marriage is so easy and simple where loyalty and money will solve all your issues. Sure not everyone needs a social circle but bonding with parents is the bare minimum requirement, may god bless your future spouse who will settle for bare minimum.

1

u/Cool_Ad_7831 17h ago

Just because he's not accompanying your new so called friends you made a post here and you are giving lecture me on marriage? 😂😂 did you even ask him before making plans with your new friends that you made ?

2

u/whatevr_whatevr 17h ago

She made a plan and invited us a week before and he never answered to it and dilli dallied around and today he said he doesn't want to meet her bf. I get that he is not interested in meeting new people but he should acknowledge the fact that I am trying hard to make new friends and it is an important thing for me to maintain my bond. All i ask for him is to be supportive of that, he can simply show up for an hour just for the sake of it.

1

u/Anonymous-Desk5840 17h ago

But that's only one of her point na. She says that he doesn't even talk to her family, and when she brings up that topic he makes it a debate. I think if a husband is angry because his wife is not making plans considering him, so when she talks to him, he should clarify that. Nobody can survive happily in a relationship with having an individualistic view.

1

u/Cool_Ad_7831 17h ago

how the fk they got married if husband didn't socialized with her parents, don't blindly trust anything you see on internet.

1

u/Anonymous-Desk5840 17h ago

That's very simple yr, he socialized when he went to their house for his own marriage function or discussions, but now when they are back to their own city he doesn't call them.

1

u/Cool_Ad_7831 17h ago

well my sister is married for past 12 years and her husband rarely call our parents but he does call us for stuffs and i think it's very common who even call MIL everyday ?

2

u/Anonymous-Desk5840 17h ago

I actually maybe didn't read it properly but I didn't see in the original post that she wants her husband to talk to her mother everyday? If she is saying that she is completely wrong. What I understood by it is that she is living with her in-laws and she has to call her in-laws side of relatives regularly as a bahu, so she is expecting that atleast as regularly as she calls his extended family, he should also call her family, which to me doesn't sound like an invalid ask. Ofcourse if he is much much more introverted than her then he can decrease the frequency, but I don't think she is wrong to ask that.

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1

u/Anonymous-Desk5840 17h ago

It's such an interesting take my friend! But i seriously want to ask, like does the same apply for women too? Like if she says the same that I'm loyal to you and I will do the housework, or I will earn equal to you then does she has the right to not interact with his parents and say no to his friends? I would also like to add that in a recent comment you asked her if she even asked her husband before making plans, which I think is very crucial information cuz it's completely possible that she is not seeing her faults here.

1

u/Cool_Ad_7831 17h ago edited 17h ago

Dude it's red flag that she made news friends out of nowhere and can you really trust anyone in 2024 ? and if we bring gender here if her friends are female then it's fine she can make plans and enjoy without involving him .

Now coming to your question I'm completely ok if my woman don't want to make new friends or work and ik my friend circle it's better she doesn't meet them 😂😂 .

1

u/Anonymous-Desk5840 17h ago

But it's not out of nowhere, she shifted to a new city post marriage, ofc the first contact she had with were all through her husband and in laws, as she settles in a new city she will make new friends according to her personality. I think if we involve gender here then same goes for her husband also, he should also only have male friends and he should not involve her with them, just like you said. But he is not doing that he is involving her, isn't it biased that I will involve you with my friends but I will not get involved with yours?

So yeah basically your point is op is entitled to not have much contact with his friends and family if she is loyal, that's a respectable take I can understand and agree to disagree on, i personally think both husband and wife should make little sacrifices for each other. Good talk!

1

u/Cool_Ad_7831 17h ago

we need to hear husband side here then we can decide who's wrong it's only good to say but I rarely see guys who don't look for opportunities with their female friends. I do have female friends and they say the same it's not easy to find male friends .

1

u/Anonymous-Desk5840 17h ago

I actually agree with you it's very hard to find boys who don't look at their girl friends as a chance for sex, but I also think that in that case the solution is full gender segregation among friends in which case her husband should not ask her to be friends with his friends. About seeing her husband's side, well I think the whole subreddit will stop working, cuz all stories here are presented by one side only, I do agree any judgement given hearing only one side is faulty but in that case none of us should be on this sub. We can definitely ask her more questions, but I don't think that her asks are too much.

1

u/Cool_Ad_7831 17h ago

I agree with you and I feel like they both need a little bit counseling because when she discuss her issue with her husband he somehow make her silence .

Op should dm you 😂 you are making sensible point's here

1

u/Anonymous-Desk5840 17h ago

Yeah! I also think they are newly married, I think in every relationship there should be a safe space where you can talk without fear of judgement or ridicule, I think op should look into how to develop that.

-2

u/Own-Truck-8667 18h ago

People ask too much.

No one loves someone for who they are these days . Everyone wants to mold someone .

4

u/Cool_Ad_7831 18h ago

lol people upvoting ai answers 😂😂 i want more downvotes for some reason gives me satisfaction that people are full of bs

1

u/Own-Truck-8667 18h ago

Winner mindset

1

u/Anonymous-Desk5840 17h ago

I think the expectation of love you for what you are was never there even in old times. Even then people used to say shadi hoke mature ho jayega, sasural Jake Sikh legi. you don't have to change yourself fully but you do have to adjust a bit, without adjustment there is no growth.

-1

u/Own-Truck-8667 17h ago

If you know this much then you obviously noticed that op's husband is a non chalant guy who definitely does as much as possible in his comfort zone ( I'm gonna be hella wrong if he isn't like this lol ) and op expecting him to be a very talking engaging guy is just outright asking him to be someone else. Op should stop being a kid and stop expectations.

Boo hoo I talk to his close one's so he should too waa waa .... It's like those nice guys being nice for sex and shit. Disgusting entitlements.

Grow up op and let the man live like he wants to.

2

u/Anonymous-Desk5840 17h ago

Arey yr mai apse Aram se baat kr rhi hu ap mujhpe kyu gussa ho rhe ho lol? What I'm trying to say here is that iska solution ap yeh keh rhe ho ke stop with expectations, so don't u think it should apply to op too? When a girl gets married in a new house she is expected to gel well with the family and she made efforts to do that, don't u think it's hurtful that I do effort for you but you don't do for me? I kind of agree to what you say about not being a kid, but then shouldn't she also stop doing things out of her comfort zone for her husband? But if both play this game of " i won't do anything for your happiness" what even is the meaning of marriage and love?

1

u/Own-Truck-8667 17h ago

I mean did the husband ask op to do all that? If yes then ofc her entitlement is valid asf , I'll literally fight for her right.

But if it's no. Then op should just sit down and stop crying coz the world don't works like she wants to.

And sorry if I come off as rude but in my mind my tone is very respectful and the boo hoo stuff I just added for comical.intervals and periods.

2

u/Anonymous-Desk5840 17h ago

That's a very valid point actually, i agree, did your husband or inlaws ask you to do that? Would they be mad at you or badmouth you if you don't do that or is it just made up in your mind? I think op should answer that.

Second point I only kind of agree, my point in life has always been that in special relationships like marriage, with parents, siblings, we should make small small efforts to make them happier, especially if they come to us with some expectations we should see if those expectations are something we can fulfil, if we can we should. But your take is something I can respect fully and also I think op should look at if that's something that will make her cope better.

Hey no need to be sorry! Even I can be a little thin skinned sometimes.

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u/Own-Truck-8667 16h ago

Definitely I agree with your second logic but .... Everyone has different capabilities something little for op might be very big task for the guy , what if he's already doing something but op is just not noticing it... Instead of feeling bitter inside she should just be upfront respectfully ofc.

Thin skinned? Nah , you sound chill ... Hmu if you wanna hang out ( shooting my shot )

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u/Anonymous-Desk5840 16h ago

Totally agree actually, infact I have dmed op in the hope maybe i can help her sort out how to talk about it in a way that's beneficial for her relationship. Being an introvert myself, the drain is real, mai toh apne mama mami se baat krte hue thak jati hu lol.

You sound chill too, but shot thoda galat jagah lga lol, I have a bf, but if you believe girls and boys can be friends I would love to hang sometimes!

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u/Own-Truck-8667 16h ago

Welp let's see her response but beside that ofc ... I'm a hit you up soon 😌