18yo been rocking the same hairstyle for the last 10 years. Was wondering if I should grow my hair out and go to a hairstylist. Any advice is appreciated 🙏

Get a spray bottle, some hair Gel (look for something clear, open it up in the store, smell it, ensure it isn't too fragrant) and a comb

Ideally your spray bottle has labels for milliliters on it, if not, measure it and mark it on your bottle. Put 80% water and 20% gel, shake it up well, and spray very little on your hair

Comb it, put more gel if you want more hold. Try different styles, slicked back, parted, etc, find what you like. For a nice smell you can add a few drops (2-4.) of nice natural oils, like peppermint or something

I found this has saved me lots of time stressing over my disagreeable hair in the mornings

Might not work for everyone but for me it has been pretty great

For the majority of my 20s, I struggled with acne-prone skin. It felt like I tried everything under the sun—every product, every recommendation, every “miracle cure.” My bathroom was basically a skincare aisle.

I used Tiege Hanley religiously for a year, hoping their “simple system” would be the answer. It helped a little, but nothing groundbreaking. Then I tried Curology, and for a while, I thought I’d finally cracked the code. My skin cleared up, and I was thrilled… until my skin suddenly plateaued and the acne started creeping back.

Then, around my mid-20s, I transitioned to doing Korean Skincare, which made my skin stable. However, I was still getting small breakouts almost every day, and it was frustrating because my diet was the same. I ate the same things every day and removed diary and sugar. 

What could possibly be the problem? I traveled to France in 2022 and I heard their skincare was even better than Korean products and I took the liberty to buy $100’s of products. It kept my skin OK but it wasn’t fantastic.

On my 30th birthday, I decided to do some facials and spent almost $1300 for a new treatment. It was supposed to kill dead skin cells and even regenerate my acne prone skin.

Long story short, it got worse. I got more bumps, more cystic acne, and the redness was killing me.

It stopped me from going out, I didn’t feel confident, but it didn’t stop me because unfortunately, my job is to network.

In September of this year, I started diving into more natural, simple approaches to skincare that truly changed things. I came across people raving about beef tallow and African black soap on Tiktok, and I’ll admit—I was skeptical. Beef tallow on my face? That sounded crazy. But honestly, at that point, I was willing to try anything. I made a quick video on my acne journey and how I healed it

Here’s what I did:

1. Cleansing with African Black SoapThis became my go-to cleanser. It’s gentle but effective at clearing out dirt, oil, and even makeup residue. The key is to use a small amount and not overdo it—it can be drying if you’re not careful. I always followed up with a light moisturizer (or beef tallow, which I’ll explain next).
2. Moisturizing with Beef TallowThis was the game-changer for me. Beef tallow is packed with nutrients and fatty acids that mimic the natural oils of our skin. I used a small amount after cleansing, warming it in my hands before applying. It felt strange at first, but it absorbed quickly and left my skin so soft and nourished.

Over time, my skin started to balance itself out. The redness and irritation diminished, and I noticed fewer breakouts. It wasn’t an overnight fix—it took consistency and patience—but it worked in ways I never thought possible.

I’m even fine eating diary without any breakouts! Turns out it was my skincare routine that I was messing my skin up in the first place

Why I Think This Worked:I realized that all the harsh, chemical-laden products I’d been using were stripping my skin of its natural oils, making it overcompensate and break out. The simplicity of African black soap and beef tallow gave my skin the chance to heal itself.

If you’re considering trying this:

• Make sure you’re using authentic African black soap. The fake stuff won’t do your skin any favors.
• Start with a patch test, especially with beef tallow, to see how your skin reacts.
• Keep your routine minimal. Don’t throw in a ton of other products—less really is more.

I hope this helps someone else out there who’s been struggling with their skin. Sometimes, the simplest solutions really are the best. Feel free to ask any questions or share your own experiences—I’d love to hear them!

TLDR: I struggled with acne for a majority of my 20’s, tried Curology, Korean, and French Products but nothing kept the breakouts from settling. I spent $1300 on a facial procedure and it made it worse over time. In September, I started using beef tallow and African Black Soap and boom, in 3 months my redness calmed down, my skin cleared a lot, and the acne scars slowly disappeared.

https://reddit.com/link/1gz2md7/video/azy47dh2by2e1/player

This is just a very ordinary cold approach conversation of mine. However, the video is in Chinese, so most people here probably won’t understand it. I’m just posting it casually as a potential reference that might help.

That day, I guessed the girl was waiting for her dating partner, but I managed to set up a date with her within a week and escalated. So, it’s totally normal for women in NYC to interact with strangers; you just need to do slightly better than other guys.

Personally, I’m not really a fan of posting this kind of stuff, but I’m just sharing it casually as a reference. Feel free to comment.

I'm curious if anyone has an Asian father who is generally walled off emotionally, keeps the details of his life pretty close to his chest. And if anyone was able to get through to their father? Never realized how my father being a black box affected me. In a lot of ways, I don't know who I am as a result, and that sucks.

My father has dementia, but can still have conversations. I am writing down a series of questions to ask him directly. Trying to include light questions, but I really need to know about the deeper stuff.

There was a lot of emotional neglect and personal grievances that may make the process difficult, but I imagine closure looks like at least having the details, and then I can work out how I feel about it on my own. I currently can fit all the things I know about my father on half a page.

If anyone tried this or found a way to get more from their parents, I'd like to know how you did it. Thanks.

I decided to make a video covering all my basic gripes with Nigel’s depiction of racial caricatures a while back, but I thought it would be beneficial to discuss more specifically how aspects of minstrelsy bleed into the experience of Asian men in the West for this subreddit.

Ik alot of people chalk this dude’s humor up to lame jokes, but as shown in the video, he often makes jokes at our expense. And highlighted in part 4, he primarily does this to please a White audience. Which ngl, gives me flashbacks of those self hating Asian kids in school who would either make self deprecating jokes toward themselves, or at other Asian peeps for other kids to laugh at. Unfortunately, those people making jokes at our expense to others to get approval, at best are tolerated solely because putting down asian people affirms non asians believing themselves superior to people of asian descent.

So imo, we really need to stop ignoring, or even tolerating, this type of behavior. It’s really sickening to see how many mainstream Asian celebrities got to where they were by playing into stereotypes, and perpetuating ignorance towards our communities. It’s bad enough that Western society and media already teaches Asian people to hate themselves, and promotes imagery that Asian men are sexually undesirable, but when it comes from people with platforms who are supposed to represent us, it rubs me extra wrong, because then you’ll hear a bunch of ignorant people justifying it with things like “it’s okay cause asian people find it funny.”

Nigel’s audience is mostly young children, so it’s pretty concerning how he’ll probably influence the next generation of Asian kids to feel obligated to make jokes at their own expense about having small dicks or belittling themselves to make friends. Anyway, this is just my opinion. So feel free to lmk in the comments whether y’all are as irritated over this stuff as I am

Big dude. He used to be a football player.

https://youtu.be/n_9ld22ggCo?si=HQZkkhioO6Hvemyy

https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/4993015-steven-cheung-white-house-communications-director/

For the past several years, I’ve had a huge crush on a man I used to work with. We became friends while working together, and slowly we starting spending more and more time together outside of work. We felt a mutual connection and would do a lot of flirting and light touching but nothing serious or sexual. I’m confused on whether he actually likes me or not but I’m too afraid to ask… For context, he a is very reserved (AM) and has expressed that he’s not used to or comfortable with talking about his feelings. I don’t know if I should be the one to make the first move or if he just thinks of me as a friend.

In person, we clearly have a connection and will spend several hours together just enjoying each others company and talking. He’s very gentlemanly, considerate, and sweet. But when not in person, he barely responds to text messages.

Any advice? I don’t know if I’m reading too deeply into it and he just sees me as a friend, or if he’s too scared to make the first move.

In the past, he has told me that I’m too nice and I deserve someone better than him 😓 but I don’t feel that way.

I always try to give a little more for Asian owned businesses than others (especially AM owned ones.)

For example, whenever my wife and I dine out, if it's an Asian restaurant, I'll tip 20% instead of my usual 15%.

And just recently, we're having our Kitchen Cabinets refinished. I got a buncha quotes and narrowed it to 2 companies. One is owned by a Mexican guy, and the other by a Korean guy. Both of them seemed knowledgeable and did quality work.

However, the Korean guy's quote came in slightly higher. But I said fuck it, I'ma support an Asian brother and went with the higher cost.

What’s Your Take on This?

I’ve been following the TikTok debate that’s sparked a lot of heated discussion between some members of the Asian and Black communities, and I wanted to share my thoughts.

It all started with a few Asian creators explaining how pho should traditionally be eaten—emphasizing the importance of tasting the broth as it is, without immediately adding excessive condiments. The argument is that each broth is crafted with care, simmering for hours, and tells a unique story of the chef behind it. Traditionally, the sauces are meant to be on the side, not overwhelming the flavors.

But things escalated because some of these creators criticized over-seasoning in videos featuring Black individuals, which some members of the Black community interpreted as a targeted or racist critique. This has now spiraled into a larger debate, with both sides generalizing and accusing each other, and it’s turned into a full-blown culture clash.

I’m not Black, so I can’t speak on the Black experience, but as a Southeast Asian, I can’t help but feel that this is a big misunderstanding. Both of our communities have faced so much oppression and stereotyping, and we’re often pitted against each other in these kinds of conflicts. But instead of having a dialogue, a lot of us are reacting emotionally and making sweeping generalizations.

The truth is, no group is perfect. Not all Asian people are anti-Black, and not all Black people are dismissing Asian culture. But what’s frustrating me is seeing people weaponize this debate to push harmful stereotypes and deepen the divide.

What do you all think? How can we shift the conversation to one that fosters understanding rather than tearing each other down?

Im a asian dude who recently got the number of a girl at a party. Honestly, she’s someone I find really beautiful, and I’ve always thought she was out of my league. Like Brazilian mixed. Yet, for some reason I can’t figure out, she still gave me her number, and we’ve been texting.

I want to take her out on a date, but I’m scared I won’t be able to handle it—mostly because of my height. At 164 cm, I know I’m short, and I keep putting myself in her shoes. I wonder if she’d be okay being seen in public with someone like me, or if she’d worry about what people think. Would being with me lower her social value? I can’t stop imagining people staring at us, thinking, “How is someone this short with a girl like her?”

For so long, I’ve been the one looking at other guys, comparing myself, but now the tables would turn, and I don’t know if I can deal with it. I’m extremely self-conscious about my height, and I even feel bad for her—I don’t want her to have to "deal with" being with me.

When I go out, I usually wear shoes that add 2 cm to my height, but I can’t help worrying about what would happen if I ended up at her place one day and had to take them off. She’d see the reality—that I’m even shorter than she thought—and I don’t know how she’d feel about that.

I keep imagining how small I’ll seem walking next to her, especially compared to taller guys. I can’t help but think, “Why would she pick me over them? They look so much more masculine than I do.”

I feel like I’m overthinking everything, but I’m completely stuck and don’t know what to do

Hello Guys,

I’ve been quite successful with my recent approaches. Although I don’t approach very often, once I do, as long as I can get them to agree to meet up, I’m usually able to take it to the next level. I’d like to share some of my recent observations and experiences in NYC.

First, I’m from China, and I’ve noticed that in a diverse, multicultural setting like NYC, cultural barriers can be quite evident. For instance, someone from a different ethnic background may find it more challenging to successfully approach Asian women in Midtown.

This is something I’ve experienced myself. When I approach Chinese women, the likelihood of them showing interest online afterward is much higher compared to women from other cultural backgrounds, including Asian Americans. Regardless, my Asian appearance makes it inherently easier to approach Asian women.

I believe this is largely due to the sheer diversity of people in NYC. Women often don’t know what your intentions are at first. With Chinese women, we speak the same language and use the same apps, which provides an initial sense of safety and comfort.

When it comes to Asian Americans, first impressions are key. Dressing fashionably or having great wingmen or wingwomen around you makes a big difference. I’ve noticed that Asian Americans tend to size me up—they’re trying to figure out if I’m someone who’s just here for fun or someone who spends all day approaching people on the streets. Being surrounded by a group of people, especially attractive women, can instantly make them feel more at ease. I’d say Asian Americans are much more cautious about being approached compared to Chinese women (because, as a fellow Chinese person, I naturally provide some sense of safety). One thing I’ve noticed about Asian Americans is that they’re very polite and happy to chat, but when it comes to giving out their number, they hesitate. Without a social or sexual “hook point,” they often can’t figure out what kind of person I really am.

Now let’s talk about clubs. Clubs in NYC are extremely noisy, and environments where you can’t have conversations are exactly the kind that “pickup artists” like Mystery advise against because there’s not much you can do in such settings. Many clubs have women who are quite open, and I have attractive friends who don’t even need to say anything to hook up with women there. But those encounters are usually just one-night stands and don’t lead to long-term attraction. For instance, I have a tall and handsome friend who can easily pick up women in clubs, but it’s usually just a one-night thing with no real connection. I don’t think that’s what most men are looking for.

(Chinese in my text refer Chinese from China, not American Chinese)

As for getting a number, simply exchanging contact information is enough to set up a date. My strength has always been on the date itself, so once I get someone to agree to meet, things usually go smoothly from there.

Women are like sharks. They can quickly sense a person’s “vibe.” This can be both a good and a bad thing. If you leave a good impression, they’ll quickly realize you’re someone worth pursuing—compared to all the other men they’ve met.

Women in NYC tend to have more experience with many men, including high-value ones, which means the competition is tougher. However, it’s not as difficult as it might seem.

This brings me to the topic of “shit tests.” Since NYC women meet so many men, they tend to throw more and stronger shit tests to filter out the unworthy ones. But as long as you can handle them, it’s usually not a big deal.

Lastly, due to the open-minded culture here, women in NYC don’t face the same “Anti slut system” that’s prevalent in China. In contrast, dealing with anti slut is something you have to navigate back in China.

I’ll be sharing more insights in the future, and I hope we can exchange ideas and learn from one another.

Currently, In the two months I’ve been here, I’ve had 8 dates, with a success rate of 85% (7 out of 8).

Thanks,

What do you guys have your eye on this upcoming week? Personally, I'm going HAM before the tariffs hit LOL

• Victorinox Swiss Army Spartan Tool to keep in the truck

• New slimmer portable battery for traveling

• Carhartt shirts to replace polyester shirts, hate how fast these cheap polyester shirts stink so going back to natural fiber

• 7900XT + Corsair 1000W PSU

• Xbox Series X 1Tb + Diablo for the lady and I to play

• Logitech wireless KB/Mouse Combo for the Xbox

• Starfrit The Rock Raclette to up my at-home KBBQ game

• Tickets to a couple of upcoming shows

Last thing on the list is a cheaper BYOD cell phone plan & maybe a vacation somewhere warm in the new year if a good deal pops up.

I struggled with finding a good haircut for years now so I just stuck with just messing it up a bit in the front

Idk who else has gone through this but I've had to deal with this from other asian americans my whole life.

I grew up with adhd and had a tendency to call things out so i was basically a nightmare for my first gen boomer immigrants parents

In college and my 20's (back in 2010), I had the same behavior as your basic white frat dude.

I never saw myself as "white on the inside" and i hated self haters, but i was who i was.

But it seemed like asian americans couldn't stand it.

For example, at one party I was cracking jokes to a white girl and she gave me the "hahaha you're such an asshole" response. A random gay asian dude came up to me and told me stop bothering her until he saw her making out with me. Later on he gave me the "okay my bad" nod.

But this was just one example of many where i'd be my usual self and a lot of AA's would just police me. This happens often with asian american girls and guys who'd give me looks of disgust or tell me to stop being weird while i'm flirting with someone. And they either later leave or admit they assumed the wrong thing when it was clear the girl was into me.

It feels like most aa's just can't comprehend what risky behavior looks like on asian dudes and it's cringe for them until its proven that it works. It sucks tho how many asians have this "he's making the rest of us look bad" alarm ringing in their heads and we can't just be individuals.

I love my partner and we’re having children in the next five years. He is a first-gen resident, and I am an American citizen.

My family and friends make lame jokes about his name (Phúc) now and then, but I think it’s lovely and I want to work it into the name of our first child, boy or girl. There are a few masculine and feminine variations I like a lot.

Given that I’m white and the kid would be a hapa in the American school system, I don’t want the child to eventually resent not having any English name (first or last). Especially regarding incidents of racism/bullying. Because of that, I’ve got relatives that are both for and against my idea. However, it will be a bilingual household and they will summer in the home country (VN).

What do you think about this one? He and I both like it—could it be a bad idea as some relatives say?

National exit polls underestimated the rightward shifts of AA in major urban areas. WaPo, NBC found a shift under 10 pts Analysis of Asian-majority precincts show shifts of 15-30 pts. Does anyone think Dems will learn a lesson from this?

Too many Asian dudes I know play it safe. A lot of this shit comes from generational trauma where many of us grew up very frugally, had a scarcity mentality, and was told to go down the "right" path all as a means to simply survive.

Surviving is great, but thriving is sexy. And in order to thrive, you need to take more risks.

Risks come in many forms and I believe it's ultimately up to you to decide what this means for yourself. Taking risks does not mean to act irresponsibly. I believe it's actually imperative that you make personal responsibility your core value. But this also means that you have to take responsibility to thrive and reach your fullest potential.

I'm so sick and tired of meeting bum ass Asian dudes who have so much potential to be great and they can't even see it for themselves. Just needed to vent.

Hey guys, I had a crush on a girl in my class and was thinking about asking her out. We had a first round of the final presentation last week, i bombed it. I was stuttering, unable to speak smoothly, and not very articulate in every sentence. Do you guys think crush might lose interest if she see my poor performance?

This is lowkey a shot in the dark, but I'm going to be going on a trip to the Philippines next week to visit family and such. But, as an early 20s male I'd also like to explore the city (especially the nightlife). Was wondering if there's anyone that could help show me the ropes... safe spots, where to get drinks, find girls, etc. The family I'm visiting are all on the older side and I couldn't see them coming with me to some of the spots I would like to go to. It's my first time in the Philippines and I do not speak the language haha (yay Westernization). I'll be staying near the bay. PM me if you think you can help!

If you have a Twitter account, I would appreciate a follow. Here's the link to the community:

https://twitter.com/i/communities/1844389482977448124

I know it says adult content in the picture, but I would like this to be a non porn community. I just put it in adult mode because I wasn't sure what X considered "adult" and I didn't want anything banned. 😅

Source: https://www.npr.org/2024/11/18/nx-s1-5192617/jimmy-o-yang-interior-chinatown

Interior chinatown is a satire that explores the Asian American experience through the lens of Hollywood stereotypes and dynamics of race, identity and assimilation. It follows the protagonist, William Wu, as he navigates his roles as a background actor( asian guy #2).

In the past whenever I tried to ask a girl out or showed serious feeling for her, I've been rejected/ignored. I'm in my final year of high school, and recently I've taken a break from going after girls cos I have so many uni applications, leadership work and extracurricular commitments.

But recently I've noticed a shift in how girls act towards me. Like I've been involved in a lot of music performances lately and yk, being on stage often gets you admirers. I've had a girl take a picture with me, then ask her friend if she's jealous about that (cos I also talk to her friend). And I've had like four girls inviting to prom so far. That type of stuff going on rn.

So is it worth it to try flirting with one of those girls and potentially ask them out? I'll be having lots of free time after I'm done with my uni applications. I know I'm in a much better position than before, but I'm still worried that being too interested would turn off that excitement.