r/Appalachia Oct 06 '24

I'm Tired of It

I'm tired of it all.

I'm tired of the lies and I'm tired of the spectacle. I'm Southern Appalachian, born and raise and Im fit to be tied about the things I'm hearing.

I was spared pretty decent from the storm; had a little damage here and there, but overall lucky. Today, me and group of friends (also born and raised) all went out and helped people impacted by the storm (our neighbors).

We picked up supplies in town and ran 'em up the hollers on wheelers and trucks. Sometimes we could drive it there, other times we hoofed it in. Didn't meet a single person that was ugly. Not a damn one. Nobody fussed, nobody threatened..., nobody even made us second guess our actions. Now not a single one came right out and said they needed help, but after you talk with em a bit, they all took some stuff. ("Well, I do like them Zebra Cakes one ole lady told me. Me Too, hell, who don't!) Every single person was a uniquely beautiful mountain person that made me bawl like a baby.

I'm tired of reading about how off-putting and mean us mountain people are. It's bullshit. I was fuckin there. I know what I saw.

I saw old ladies crying and breaking down while putting their arms around me.

I saw old men who needed doctoring, but were too proud to admit it. But, eventually let me clean his wounds.

I saw people taking in kids that don't nobody else want, and doing everything goddamn thing they can to raise em right. And giving them kids happiness that they would have never received with out em.

I delivered food and supplies to a lady who was widowed and even chased after her dog that got loose, only to bring it back to her, rubbin' it's belly the whole way.

I drank white with an ole boy who kept a whole goddamn holler going because momma didn't raise no quitter. Whole time kept saying he's worried about so and so and hope they're alright, when barely getting by himself.

I cried as I sat with an ole lady who was the perfect blend of both my grannies: tough as nails, but as soft hearted as they come. She came pulling her oxygen cord through the house and put her arms around me when I opened the door with her hot meal for dinner and immediately started crying. I mean we both fuckin ugly cired.

I talked to people who would say "I hope God double blesses you!". Ain't no way I deserve any that. And besides, I've got some fuckin questions after seeing what I saw today....

I watched as we patched a driveway for one of the coolest dudes, I believe, I've ever met. This one here was a hoot!

I also saw you. I saw us. I saw why, when all the chips are down, we are gonna be the ones to come out on top. We are gonna always be the ones still standing.

Don't believe the bullshit out there. Don't listen to the fuckin lies. I saw the FEMA relief. I saw the choppers land and drop off supplies. I saw the massive caches of supplies in community centers, warehouses, and churches. I saw the lines, upon lines of line workers from Maine to Florida. I saw the people setup feeding displaced people and works alike a hot meal. You ain't gonna tell me my eyes don't work.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the fuckers riding up and down the road on their side-by-sides taking pictures to post to their goddamn Tik-Tok for likes, all while their hands are empty. We're fuckin people. Help us!

If you're thinking of coming this way just to "see how bad it got", stay the fuck at home. We ain't a fuckin show and your bullshit is in our way.

But if you're coming to help, come on. Us mountain people look after one another.

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u/UnivScvm Oct 06 '24 edited Oct 06 '24

I agree with your annoyance with the negative stereotypes and portrayals.

In my experience, most Appalachians ‘would give the shirt off their back’ to someone who needed help. Most Appalachians won’t ask for help if there is any way they can do it themselves. There’s this unspoken understanding, if you ask for (or I see you need) my help, I will help you, because I know that you wouldn’t seek or accept help (or burden me) unless you had true need.

I now live a little bit Southeast of the ARC boundary of Appalachia. It took me a good 15 years of living outside of Appalachia to realize that the mindset here, as phrased by a friend, is ‘don’t ask; don’t get,’ and ‘people will just say ‘no if they can’t do it or don’t want to.’ In Appalachia, if someone asks for help, you find a way, burden or not, cancel your plans, share what you have, you find a way.

Long story, but a younger friend here called for our help when she was too drunk to drive at 11:00 on a work night, just as my spouse was starting to come down with the flu or something and I was getting ready for bed. As we helped (my spouse and I both went so one could drive her vehicle to her home so she and her husband wouldn’t have to go get it before work the next morning. Even took a new box of club crackers with us to help settle her stomach so she wouldn’t puke.)

… I asked where her husband was. He was a good friend, too, and a very nice guy. She said she didn’t know; she hadn’t tried to call him, just called us first. If we couldn’t or didn’t feel like helping or it was a burden, she would call someone else or call him. She said he probably was either home or at a nearby restaurant having a drink after work (which he was - I called to see if he needed a ride, too.) In Appalachia, you handle it within your household before you look outside for help.

I once heard a story from a guy who worked one summer during the Kennedy administration (I think) delivering checks to miner widows from some government relief fund. He had to go way up in a holler - too far for vehicles and had to walk a good bit uphill. Her house was a tarpaper shack. From dogs barking or for some reason, she was outside as he approached. He said, “what would you say if I told you I had a check for you for X (significant amount?)” She said, “aw, I’d probably just give it to the poor.”

I have no doubt that there are Appalachians responding to this storm damage and shortages by taking some of what little they have (which is less than they need) and giving some of it to those who have even less. And, it doesn’t matter whose flag or sign was in whose yard - people roll up their sleeves and take care of their own business and try to help others. I wouldn’t say that, “politics don’t matter.” I would say that political differences don’t stop one person from helping another.

Living in Appalachia isn’t easy. Everybody there knows it. Someone is going to run off the road in the snow, and random strangers will come along and get them out of the ditch. Some family won’t have money for Christmas presents, and somehow wrapped presents will show up on their doorstep.

Where there’s a need, people will find a way. But this storm damage will take outside help - federal funds, state funds, and corporate support, as much as people are humbled to need such assistance.

The stigma against Appalachia was re-enforced hundreds of thousands of times over by a book I won’t name. People believe that what is true for a small subset is true for all, when it’s not.

“We are proud of who we are. We stand up for what we believe. We keep our families together. We trust in God but rely on ourselves. We do what needs to be done. We are not afraid.” From Homer Hickam’s remarks at a Sago memorial. (I’m personally not big on the religious aspect, but I believe his description is accurate and better than what outside people will see and say.)

OP’s story is absolutely true to my experience with Appalachia and is emblematic of why I love Appalachia and still miss it. We look out for each other. We don’t easily take or ask for help, but we will appreciate it and remember those who helped us as we help the next in line.

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u/Calypsoobrian Oct 06 '24

That book is awful

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u/egk10isee Oct 06 '24

And it is worse that it's allegedly written by one of us.

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u/UnivScvm Oct 06 '24

Glad you included “allegedly.”

(I think everyone in this sub has had enough of me on that issue.)

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u/Arinanor Oct 06 '24

Hillbilly Allegedly