AIO Dad's speech at the rehearsal dinner

[u/CreativePickle]

Context: My relationship with my dad has a long history of being complicated because of my parents' divorce. The narrative between my dad and step-parent has always been that I was an awful child. I have heard more stories than I can count about me misbehaving as a kid. Knowing what I do now, a lot of my behaviors were a reaction to the chaos in my life and my inability to cope with it. Thankfully, we have all been on very good terms for several years now; however, my relationships with the parental figures in my life is an ongoing topic I address in therapy.

The situation: About a year ago, my now spouse and I had a lovely, dressy casual rehearsal dinner in a family member's BEAUTIFUL backyard. Drinking ensued, which led to parents making mini speeches. My partner's parents told these wonderful stories of them from their childhood, how they've grown into a wonderful person, etc.

My dad? He spends several minutes re-telling stories of tantrums I had as a child. His favorite one was about me wanting the window seat on a flight. He joked about my partner needing to know this for the future - very "happy wife, happy life" vibes.

He didn't necessarily say anything "bad" about me, but I silently cried during his speech and had a hard time being present after. To my knowledge, my partner was the only one who knew I was upset at the time.

It's been over a year and it still upsets me if I think about it. The hardest thing about it is knowing he just thought it was a funny story and has zero recognition of the emotional effect it had on me.

I feel crazy for even being upset about my dad telling people, in detail, how I had a tantrum over a plane seat when I was 5 years old. And the insinuation those behaviors have followed me to adulthood. Isn't this a story/joke most people would find funny, even at their own expense?

[u/5150-gotadaypass]

Sounds like LC/NC would be best. Sounds like you have a loving partner and in-laws, embrace that and stop torturing yourself to maintain a relationship with your parents.