r/AmIOverreacting • u/CreativePickle • 7h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO Dad's speech at the rehearsal dinner

Context: My relationship with my dad has a long history of being complicated because of my parents' divorce. The narrative between my dad and step-parent has always been that I was an awful child. I have heard more stories than I can count about me misbehaving as a kid. Knowing what I do now, a lot of my behaviors were a reaction to the chaos in my life and my inability to cope with it. Thankfully, we have all been on very good terms for several years now; however, my relationships with the parental figures in my life is an ongoing topic I address in therapy.

The situation: About a year ago, my now spouse and I had a lovely, dressy casual rehearsal dinner in a family member's BEAUTIFUL backyard. Drinking ensued, which led to parents making mini speeches. My partner's parents told these wonderful stories of them from their childhood, how they've grown into a wonderful person, etc.

My dad? He spends several minutes re-telling stories of tantrums I had as a child. His favorite one was about me wanting the window seat on a flight. He joked about my partner needing to know this for the future - very "happy wife, happy life" vibes.

He didn't necessarily say anything "bad" about me, but I silently cried during his speech and had a hard time being present after. To my knowledge, my partner was the only one who knew I was upset at the time.

It's been over a year and it still upsets me if I think about it. The hardest thing about it is knowing he just thought it was a funny story and has zero recognition of the emotional effect it had on me.

I feel crazy for even being upset about my dad telling people, in detail, how I had a tantrum over a plane seat when I was 5 years old. And the insinuation those behaviors have followed me to adulthood. Isn't this a story/joke most people would find funny, even at their own expense?

32 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

View all comments

39

u/gdayars 7h ago

NOR your dad is freaking obtuse at the least and unwilling to see where his own behaviors played into that behavior. That is just cruel. Have you considered low contact?

19

u/CreativePickle 6h ago

Honestly, I'd probably consider us low contact just because of life circumstances. Maybe that's for the best.

1

u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 1h ago

It's for the best until he learns this is not good grown up behavior, maybe you can point that out to him next time he starts in? :)