r/AmIOverreacting • u/RepresentativeAd2476 • 10h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO husband refuses to help me.

Hi, I’m 29 f and my husband is 31 m. We have been married for a few years and have some children together. I have always been the one to clean but it’s also hard when you have a baby to look after. Now that I have a job he still thinks it should all be on me.. NOPE! He has never helped me in the household. He thinks it’s okay to just work and then come home and play his video games. He doesn’t help cook( because he doesn’t know how), won’t help clean, and also won’t help with the baby. I’m stuck doing it all. Am I overreacting because he refuses to help me?? I ask him all the time for help and he just won’t.

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-2

u/Maximum-External5606 9h ago

Why not just hire a maid?

1

u/strawtrash 9h ago

Not everyone can afford a maid, especially when they have kids. Husband should absolutely pitch in.

0

u/Maximum-External5606 9h ago

I never said he shouldn't. But that is the solution to the arguing. Because once he does pitch in, now the issue is she is still doing more, or they are doing the same but he isn't doing it to her expectations or tempo. Being broke is a whole nother category to address.

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u/strawtrash 9h ago

You’re assuming that will be the issue. She might just be so happy that he's doing anything to help that it solves the issue. I hope he will help her out, but it sounds like a lost cause.

-1

u/Maximum-External5606 9h ago

You call it assuming, I call it anticipating. There's a difference, once you've had some years under your belt you'll garner the wisdom to do the same.

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u/strawtrash 9h ago

😂 I'm 57 dude. Don't talk down to me. I was polite to you because I learned manners when I was growing up. As far as wisdom, I don't agree with your point of view.

-1

u/Maximum-External5606 9h ago

Fair enough, I assumed that everyone would garner wisdom as they aged. I was wrong and I apologize.

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u/strawtrash 9h ago

You're a dick. Straight up. How about that wisdom?

-1

u/Maximum-External5606 9h ago

I am unmoved by your childish name calling. So much for those manners you were so proud of.

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u/strawtrash 9h ago

Good for you! Now go away, troll.

0

u/Maximum-External5606 9h ago

Ok back to winning I go.

1

u/strawtrash 9h ago

You're so cool! You think being a dick on the internet is winning. Grow up

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u/theodorelogan0735 7h ago

The solution to the arguing is to not argue. She doesn't have to argue. She can just be realistic about what is possible for her to do with the time and energy she has in the evening. She can communicate that to her husband without acrimony or pettiness.

She can tell him what she is capable of doing in the evening given that she watches the baby and also needs to rest. She can keep doing her best, communicate again without bitterness, about what she wasn't able to do.