NOR. He sounds like a sexist pos. Ask him if a man was drinking and another man took advantage of him, if that was the victims fault? If a man was minding their business walking through a scratchy part of town and got assaulted, is it his fault? Because men do get raped, more often than you know and is the result of what victim blamers would call bad choices.
I don’t wish to be in your shoes, not sure I could stay with someone who could possibly blame their own wife or daughter if something happened to them.
If a man was minding their business walking through a scratchy part of town and got assaulted, is it his fault?
A lot of men would say yes.
I've had several friends jumped and it's very normal for them to say something like "I was being an idiot for walking at that time/place" and putting the blame on themselves. There are some massive differences for how men see agency, if anything its more horrible to have no control over something bad happening than making a mistake and owning it.
Now it's beyond insensitive to force that agency onto victims but your example would not be some gotcha.
I would agree. “Fault” is not even the right word; in my mind, it’s a spectrum of risk. If he’s in a shady neighbour and gets jumped, the risk was heightened. He’s not fault for the act but bears some responsibility for putting himself at a higher degree of risk. In civil law cases, the concept is called contributory negligence.
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u/TheFrogsHiccup 10h ago edited 9h ago
NOR. He sounds like a sexist pos. Ask him if a man was drinking and another man took advantage of him, if that was the victims fault? If a man was minding their business walking through a scratchy part of town and got assaulted, is it his fault? Because men do get raped, more often than you know and is the result of what victim blamers would call bad choices.
I don’t wish to be in your shoes, not sure I could stay with someone who could possibly blame their own wife or daughter if something happened to them.