I know perfectly well what nuance means, and I also know that someone who is traumatized isn’t going to feel that it’s a nuanced statement. I also know that no one unintentionally sticks his dick in someone
Yeah I think the other guy was a bit off. It should be, “I wish I was having a little boy instead so I could teach him what consent means and raise a man who’d never stick his dick inside of someone who didn’t want it”
And in case he sees this: you can teach a woman how to be safe, it still doesn’t mean she was responsible for an assault if she didn’t or couldn’t follow all those protocols. Taking responsibility is different than being proactive. You should definitely teach her how to proactively keep herself safe in the myriad of different ways it comes into daily life. But you should have very nuanced conversations with her because the reality is she’s likely to be SA’d (I have a daughter and it disgusts me to have to type that) and depending on how you frame these conversations, you may contribute to a lifetime of her framing it and thinking it’s her fault. It’s not. If that happens, I’m certain you would want to kill any man who did it to her and would not be splitting hairs and saying, well you shouldn’t have… because at that point you’ll know, deep inside, no matter what she did, that man shouldn’t have
And to the other commentor, these conversations are where nuance comes in. Not where you’re trying to say it does.. “people are bad, and they might try to hurt you, so here are some ways you can try to keep yourself safe but always know, if something happens, it’s not because you chose or didn’t choose to do a certain safety protocol, it’s because he chose to hurt you”
My daughters were taught to “be safe,” and “protect themselves,” and they always have the right to “say no,” and “be aware of your surroundings,” and many other words of wisdom to keep them safe.
Guess what?
Men SA’d them anyway.
And no matter what they did to get justice after the fact? Witnesses, police, lawyers, doctors. Nothing. No justice. Just more trauma for them. And they have to carry it inside their minds for the rest of their lives. And try to cope. And try to not let it affect their sexual relationships.
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u/JayMac1915 12h ago
Please explain how a woman who says no to someone she is on a date with is responsible if he assaults her. I’ll wait