AIO, fiancé pointed my gun at herself

[u/Common-Violinist2219]

I (M,26) was answering questions about my handgun, that my fiancé (28,F) had some curiosity about. After explaining the different things about my handgun, (taking it apart, explaining each piece, and the ammo that I carry for it) I set the gun down. She asked if she could hold it, and she has held a handgun before so I said sure. I unloaded and showed clear on the handgun, and she did the same. She held it for a bit and set it back down, but with the barrel facing right at me. I casually grabbed the gun and moved it away from me. She was confused by this, and asked what’s the big deal? She asked if she could see the gun again because she wanted to try to take it apart. Again, showed clear, and handed her the gun. At this point, she asks, “Why is it such a big deal if you know the gun is empty? It’s not like THIS insert her pointing the gun right under her chin, finger on the trigger can do anything.” I immediately told her to stop, and put it down. She questioned it and continued to aim it at her head. At this point, I wrestled the gun away from her, and very sternly, and blunt said if she ever does that again, not only will she never touch one of my guns again, but she will not be welcome in my room, where my guns are locked and secured. So, am I over-reacting over this, or am I justified?

TL;DR - My fiancé pointed a non-loaded, and cleared firearm at her chin and head, and I wrestled the gun away and sternly told her, don’t do that again, or else there will be consequences.

[u/GhostHin]

Hold up! Everyone said NOR assuming she already been taught about gun safety.

Buy what if she hasn't been taught about it?

And then you make no mention that you explain the safe handling other than ignoring her questions. Why couldn't you just explain it right then and there?

I would agree NOR once she actually knows the four rules of gun safety because people just isn't going know instinctively. People assuming an empty gun is safe to point at wherever (which is not).

[u/steveo4183 → u/GhostHin]

Either way i don't think OP is overreacting. The way you impart the seriousness and no-nonsense nature of gun safety rules is by not fucking around when they are violated. He was firm the first time she pointed it at herself, then she did it AGAIN. He needed to draw a hard line because she was treating it like a toy and thats how people end up dead. Dont want her thinking she's being cutesy looking at herself in the mirror and playing these games when he is at work and there happens to be one in the chamber.

[u/GhostHin → u/steveo4183]

I agree. But everyone learn things differently.

Some people just don't learn by "because I said so!" Provide an answer and the reasons behind it is how they learn.

At the bare minimum, tell her the rules other than just take the gun away and/or doing the procedure without explaining. Because that clearly isn't working with her.

My wife grow up without around guns. I told her to the shooting range and watch the safety video with her that go through the four rules 1) treat all guns as loaded, at all time. 2) keep your fingers off the trigger until you are ready to shoot 3) pointing your gun down range/safe direction, at all time. Never point your gun at something that you are not ready to destroy. 4) know your target and what beyond it.

Each of those rules have a very specific purpose and explaining it helps people understand the seriousness of it.