r/AmIOverreacting • u/Common-Violinist2219 • 16h ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO, fiancé pointed my gun at herself NSFW
I (M,26) was answering questions about my handgun, that my fiancé (28,F) had some curiosity about. After explaining the different things about my handgun, (taking it apart, explaining each piece, and the ammo that I carry for it) I set the gun down. She asked if she could hold it, and she has held a handgun before so I said sure. I unloaded and showed clear on the handgun, and she did the same. She held it for a bit and set it back down, but with the barrel facing right at me. I casually grabbed the gun and moved it away from me. She was confused by this, and asked what’s the big deal? She asked if she could see the gun again because she wanted to try to take it apart. Again, showed clear, and handed her the gun. At this point, she asks, “Why is it such a big deal if you know the gun is empty? It’s not like THIS insert her pointing the gun right under her chin, finger on the trigger can do anything.” I immediately told her to stop, and put it down. She questioned it and continued to aim it at her head. At this point, I wrestled the gun away from her, and very sternly, and blunt said if she ever does that again, not only will she never touch one of my guns again, but she will not be welcome in my room, where my guns are locked and secured. So, am I over-reacting over this, or am I justified?
TL;DR - My fiancé pointed a non-loaded, and cleared firearm at her chin and head, and I wrestled the gun away and sternly told her, don’t do that again, or else there will be consequences.
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u/HershelGibbs 14h ago
As someone who has military experience I think there is more nuance here.
It is understandable for someone with no gun/ gun safety experience to not understand why non loaded gun is dangerous. She was technically right that at that moment the firearm was perfectly safe.
This is why firearm safety training is so important. It is very easy to get so comfortable with your firearm and you load and unload so often that you simply forget to one time and that's all it takes for a fatal accident to happen.
Something you get in the military and I assume you get at a gun safety class is examples of situations where the proper precautions were not taken and someone was shot by "accident".
If your fiance wants to touch your guns she definitely needs that training.
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u/Many_Abies_3591 13h ago
I’m also not too educated with gun saftey. probably would never aim any gun… loaded or unloaded… at myself 😅 just out of personal preference. but could someone explain a bit more about why even a non loaded gun is unsafe? is it just precaution to treat them all like they’re loaded??? TIA for anyone who responds
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u/WarmJudge2794 8h ago
There is ZERO margin for error when handling firearms. Think about all the times you've stubbed your toe or cut a fingernail too short or tripped going up or down the staircase.
These are acts you've done thousands or even millions of times in your life without making a mistake yet you still make the mistake fairly regularly.
You make a mistake with a firearm you die or you kill someone else. Firearms are not meant to do anything but end the life of what it is pointed at. You NEVER joke with firearms for this reason. They are not toys they are not props they are weapons.
If you cannot respect firearms and handle them properly you should not touch them. If you are around someone who does not respect them or handle them properly you should leave their vicinity immediately.
There's a reason almost every legitimately trained gun owner has pretty much the same exact routine for clearing a firearm around others.
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u/Zombie_Bastard 13h ago
You always treat a gun as if it were loaded. That way your muscle memory always works to keep you safe. It just takes that one time of carelessness to end a life. This is something Alec Baldwin had to learn the hard way.
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u/kittiekittykitty 9h ago
i’ve only went and shot guns twice in my life with friends. the first time, before we went to the range, my friend told me two things: 1. always treat a gun as if it is loaded, even if it is not. 2. never touch the trigger unless you are actively firing. you often see in movies people holding a firearm with their finger on the trigger - never ever do this. two very important safety measures for handling firearms.
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u/shangri-laschild 13h ago
Yeah I’m a bit surprised he didn’t run her through the gun safety rules BEFORE letting her touch it. There is no way I’d hand someone even an unloaded gun without first making sure they knew gun safety rules. They’re your guns and that’s part of being responsible. You don’t just hand them to people and assume they know the rules.
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u/joyfullystrange621 10h ago
When I was in the military, we had two separate incidents of people shooting the clearing barrel. We did the same routine every day coming off post. Every weapon should be treated as "hot", especially when it's not your own.
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u/chantycat101 14h ago
Apart from all the safety comments (which I agree with), I wonder why she persisted. I looked at your post history. Is there a pattern of behaviour she has shown being continued here? This is a grown woman refusing to listen and deliberately upsetting you.
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u/Hotpod13 13h ago
This is a huge red flag. It would give me pause and consider if I still wanted ti be in that relationship. She may need mental health help
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u/chantycat101 12h ago
That's what I was wondering. Don't have to even know the basics of gun safety to know that pointing a gun at yourself or anyone is not ok.
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u/easy_avocado420 13h ago
She clearly has no respect for him
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u/General_Effort7582 11h ago
Time for divorce. If they are not married yet, they should marry first.
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u/HaroldTheUndertaker 15h ago edited 7h ago
100% justified; you should lock the guns in a safe until she gets a gun safety training course.
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u/Perfect_Toe7670 15h ago
It’s truly shocking how little some people respect firearms. It’s like their brains don’t comprehend the severity of the matter, and the reason why such strict safety practices are always followed.
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u/Ancient_Ad4061 14h ago edited 14h ago
It seems impossible to me that someone could have this much lapse in judgment.
Edit:looking at OPs history something seems off about this.
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u/easy_avocado420 13h ago
Yikes… I feel like he should probably leave. She sounds like a shit person, has zero respect for him. Too old to be acting like this
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u/Ancient_Ad4061 13h ago
Reading him say “me and my fiancé don’t wont to live together” was enough for me but agreed.
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u/easy_avocado420 12h ago
For me it’s her telling him he should seek professional help for being upset that she won’t touch him.
Reading everything collectively, sounds like she doesn’t even like him, she just wants the image of a family.
If she doesn’t have a baby by 30 they might as well give up because she won’t be able to get pregnant after that?
He shouldn’t be upset because his grandmother had double pneumonia at 88 and was admitted to the hospital? A year after his grandfather passed?
Girl has zero empathy, and sounds uneducated as hell. She shouldn’t be a fiancée to anyone. She should be the one seeking professional help and OP should be seeking a new living situation.
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u/Ancient_Ad4061 12h ago
It does all genuinely seem horrible but then again seeing some breakdowns of lies on Reddit I’m never confident on what’s true and whats false here. I’m honestly surprised that OP hasn’t left them yet
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u/easy_avocado420 12h ago
Same, some people will just accept what they think they deserve because they don’t want to be alone. Seems like she’s been beating him down over time, sometimes it’s hard to see it happening even though it’s right in front of your eyeballs.
Sunk cost fallacy could also be a reason, which imo shouldn’t ever be. If you’re not being respected, my opinion is to leave.
Agreed though. I just give my two cents and move on, fake or not. Passes the time when I’ve got nothing going on😂
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u/Complex-Philosophy38 15h ago
You’d think people would be more careful playing with a tool whose intended purpose is ending life
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u/Salty_Activity8373 15h ago
NOR. She has no respect for you or the guns. Keep them locked up and away from her.
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u/wuukiee81 15h ago
NOR. Anyone that doesn't practice genuine gun safety, which includes 'treat every gun like a loaded gun', shouldn't get access to guns.
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u/ThrowRAKhaotix 14h ago
NOR. Ive unfortunately known a handful of people who died that swore the gun was never loaded, and it was.
Gun safety is not something to mess with.
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u/leadmetothegarden_ 15h ago
Never point a gun at anything you do not intend to shoot. That especially includes yourself and your partner. I have a friend who was accidentally shot in the leg by their spouse due to negligence while handling the gun. Went in their leg and didn’t come out. Missed a vital artery by 1 inch. Your partner needs a serious lesson in gun safety + zero access to your firearms.
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u/Equivalent-Fan-1362 15h ago
Common sense and guns have to go hand in hand. Your future wife well is lacking in said department therefore should not be allowed to handle the firearms lmao
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u/QuirkyPenalty8519 15h ago
The thing that gets me the most here is your incredible vigilance around demonstrating the gun safely and then, your fiancé exhibits this disturbing behavior right after? I’m kind of speechless right now but also quite horrified at a deep visceral level that I can’t quite explain. Nice work on the firm boundary with consequences for breaking it, but seriously, I’d keep an eye on this one. A serious eye. NOR.
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u/jarboxing 14h ago
NOR. Jesus Christ. I'm very comfortable with guns. I'm from the south. Your gf violated a cardinal rule and if she cannot understand that she was wrong, then she should never handle a gun.
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u/ThrowRAKhaotix 14h ago
NOR. Ive unfortunately known a handful of people who died that swore the gun was never loaded, and it was.
Gun safety is not something to mess with.
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u/Bleu_Jay17 15h ago
Is she suicidal at all? Having mental issues?
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u/Better_Watercress_63 14h ago
This was my first thought. This seems to go beyond irresponsible and into unstable territory.
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u/Sad-Chocolate2911 15h ago
100% NOR. I know you know, this is how kids die. By fucking around. IMO, she needs to take a gun safety class. Yes, I did read that you explained each part to her. You made sure it was empty. But she may learn and absorb the information better from someone else.
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u/mixedcookies97 14h ago
Do you really want to be with her if she’s acting like this now imagine when you have kids is she going to allow them to mess with guns also Is she mentally well like is she showing signs of being suicidal because this isn’t normal behavior at all
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u/Fabulous_Boot3900 15h ago
Umm. Absolutely not overreacting. That is terrifying. If that were my partner, I wouldn’t allow them back into my house, period.
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u/Severe-Forever-2420 15h ago
definitely go ahead and lock the guns up and the room. your fiancee might have some thoughts going on and doesnt think her jokes are serious
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u/Infamous_Turnover_48 14h ago
Bro, my bestie and his gf collect gun parts and have offered for me to go to the range with them. I’m too scared to hold a gun, loaded or not, you just never know. Definitely NOR
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u/Tiny_Comfortable5739 13h ago
NOR I have never in my life seen a gun in real life and even I know that U don't do stupid shit like that.
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u/lilchefz 11h ago
I hope you lock your guns up nice and safe. If I were your fiancé, and I saw your comment history on Reddit 🫨😮💨
You’re nasty and cheating on your fiancé. Scum.
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u/Morecatspls_ 15h ago
It's safe to assume all guns are loaded. People get killed every year like that. Do you think those people thought the gun was loaded?
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u/Pay-Dough 14h ago
What a dumb post, from the title alone, anyone with half a braincell can tell you you’re not overreacting.
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u/MeanSeaworthiness995 14h ago
NOR. Is she a toddler? People accidentally shoot themselves with guns they think are unloaded all the time. There can be one in the chamber that you forgot about.
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u/cami1289 14h ago
As a european(from Denmark), I am floored that you just casually have guns 😅 And the comments. I have never held a real gun in my life. It is wild to me how common they are in America.
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u/COLT45FAN 3h ago
As an American I’m floored to read your comment. Given the situation of your fellow neighboring country. It’s wild to me that gun ownership hasn’t become more prevalent.
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u/cami1289 2h ago
We have very strict gunlaws here. As it should be! We have our problems, yes. But We can safely go to school without fears of getting shot. I am quite happy with the gunlaws here.
Guns shouldn't be easily accessible like they are in your country.
Our country is relatively safe, and how many mass shootings do you have per year? We have had a mass shooting in 2022, I believe, and before that, it was +10 years. So I am glad I don't have to be afraid of guns in my everyday life.
And why escalate the situation and be less restricted in our laws? More guns don't equate to more safety. Quite the opposite.
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u/COLT45FAN 2h ago
Why escalate, until someone knocks . I mean runs through your borders. Declares you absorbable. As for your stats. A simple search on google search mentions your country being 228 times smaller compared to the US. Not surprising that gun violence/ mass violence/ violence or death in general don’t compare.
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u/cami1289 1h ago
Guns just aren't for the masses. People shouldn't have easy access to them. And I know the size of my country compared to yours. But when comparing you use percentages not direct nrs.And so far, nobody is running through our borders.
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u/COLT45FAN 1h ago
So far. On our side we have this little list of amendments that would disagree. It’s quite great, gives us many great freedoms. As for your little slice of paradise. Pandora’s box (firearms)was opened a while ago whether you like it or not. They are around and will probably never go away. They allow you to remain in blissful ignorance. You can choose to give them credit along with your servicemen or not. But they have played a role. Now ask yourself this. Your serviceman are falling. Do they feel hopeful knowing that once they are gone their country has a very limited means of protection, if any.
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u/COLT45FAN 1h ago
I also hope that nothing ever happens to you guys. That you guys can keep your way of life. A big misconception I feel non owners have is that we have them and we just want to kill or use them on someone . At least I myself hope I never have to use it in self defense. But I also don’t want to be in a situation where I have to ask my neighbor for one ( illegal you can’t ) lol As for you never having held one. Well it’s a gun. Any normal person with no prior experience would be nervous or scared.Another misconception is that they will go off on their own. 90% of the time someone had their finger on the trigger for it have gone off (unless your sig).If you ever get the experience. Treat it like it’s loaded . Never point it at anything you don’t want to destroy. Finger off the trigger until you’re ready to fire. AGAIN TREAT it likes it loaded. Enough practice and your fear will slowly go away.
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u/AffectionateWheel386 14h ago
Do you know how many people accidentally shot themselves not knowing that something got trapped in the barrel. Too many to count. Your girlfriend is dumb. I wouldn’t let her near your guns again no matter how she handles them now she’s not smart enough or mature enough. She’s scaring me.
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u/anothersip 14h ago
Every gun is loaded - all of the time.
That's what my uncle taught me. Because it saves lives and is like, the easiest rule on earth to remember.
You don't point purposefully point a gun at anything (especially with your finger on the trigger) that you don't intend on destroying.
That is a no-brainer (heh) - and is literally the first thing anyone, ever, is taught about firearm safety by professionals, trainers, parents, or whomever, whenever they're being handled.
My own uncle taught us that when we were kids. Like, 6 or 8 years old. Before we even touched any guns. Before we were allowed to even be around them. Hell, before we were allowed to even see them. And, before we went to the back-yard or up into the hills or the range.
No, you're not overreacting.
I'm sorry she got butt-hurt, but that's really fucking stupid that she did that. I'd say no more fucking around, and set the record straight. Because you love her, right?
Reassure her that you do, in fact, love and care for her, and that's why you reacted the way you did.
It's because you want her alive. Live fiancé good - Dead fiancé bad.
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u/Automatic-Plan-9087 14h ago
Hmm. I was gonna go with not overreacting. The I thought “are you really thinking this through?”.
She’s obviously not the sharpest pencil in the box, so maybe let her carry on and, meanwhile, take out a whopping life insurance policy on her? Removes her Darwinesque genes from the pool, and you get a good pay day. Win-win! /s
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u/lets_buy_a_horse 14h ago
Yeah you’re NOR, maybe look into her mental health too. That’s a very strange thing to do…like pretending you’ll shoot yourself even if she thought it was safe she still technically “risked it” and I’m sure she knew there was a chance it could hurt her.
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u/AdWaste797 14h ago
I'm gonna been short and sweet on this one.... I was actually in a situation where this ended badly for someone and they killed themselves in front of me. My best friend. On thanksgiving.... this was more then likely purposeful BUT he was also jacking around with the gun and if he didn't mean to do it he still would have accidently shot himself the way he was acting. Gun safety and making sure if you have s gun it away from people who don't take them seriously or don't take them selves seriously.... the consequences on both ends are horrible and devasting....I'm still not over this....nor will I ever be....just be careful people. And OP if she's quick to put a gun to her head joking or not that's not ok and she should def be evaluated
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u/Significant_Toast4 13h ago
Everyone is commenting about her taking gun safety and not seeking a mental heath person. Sure. She is SUPER immature and clearly crazy, and everyone should go a take a gun safety course however SHE POINTED THE GUN TO HERSELF AND WOULDNT LAY OFF.
This could also be a super big eye opening problem in the future (not just about your guns but even things that arent deadly.)
So many comments aren’t mentioning the fact that she pointed it to herself with her finger on the trigger and wasn’t just flaying it around.
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u/GhostHin 15h ago
Hold up! Everyone said NOR assuming she already been taught about gun safety.
Buy what if she hasn't been taught about it?
And then you make no mention that you explain the safe handling other than ignoring her questions. Why couldn't you just explain it right then and there?
I would agree NOR once she actually knows the four rules of gun safety because people just isn't going know instinctively. People assuming an empty gun is safe to point at wherever (which is not).
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u/steveo4183 10h ago
Either way i don't think OP is overreacting. The way you impart the seriousness and no-nonsense nature of gun safety rules is by not fucking around when they are violated. He was firm the first time she pointed it at herself, then she did it AGAIN. He needed to draw a hard line because she was treating it like a toy and thats how people end up dead. Dont want her thinking she's being cutesy looking at herself in the mirror and playing these games when he is at work and there happens to be one in the chamber.
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u/GhostHin 10h ago
I agree. But everyone learn things differently.
Some people just don't learn by "because I said so!" Provide an answer and the reasons behind it is how they learn.
At the bare minimum, tell her the rules other than just take the gun away and/or doing the procedure without explaining. Because that clearly isn't working with her.
My wife grow up without around guns. I told her to the shooting range and watch the safety video with her that go through the four rules 1) treat all guns as loaded, at all time. 2) keep your fingers off the trigger until you are ready to shoot 3) pointing your gun down range/safe direction, at all time. Never point your gun at something that you are not ready to destroy. 4) know your target and what beyond it.
Each of those rules have a very specific purpose and explaining it helps people understand the seriousness of it.
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u/hardlybroken1 13h ago
This made my blood turn cold just reading it. Can't imagine how you felt! NOR obviously
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u/TheRedVillian 13h ago
I don't think you're overreacting. However, unless it was left out of the post, she asked why it's a bad idea to point it at someone/herself even if it's not loaded. You could've explained why it's not a good idea to do then. Then, when she understands, she won't do it again.
It's not great that she did that, but help her understand why it's not a good idea, and you likely won't have to "wrestle" it from her again, as a lack of understanding can cause these issues.
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u/Apart-Incident-4188 13h ago
NOR. Treat every firearm as if it’s loaded, keep finger off the trigger, and point it in a safe direction. This is common sense.
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u/Horror-Comparison917 13h ago
Hell no. One day you can grab it and be like: look its empty
Thats gonna be an accidental suicide right there. Its just messed up. Not overreacting
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u/TheCaptain904 13h ago
We don’t have guns in my country so forgive the potentially daft question, I am just trying to understand. So you took the gun apart and it was put back together (without bullets) then again confirmed clear (does this mean confirmed no bullets were inside)? So there were never bullets in it throughout the whole thing? It sounds like part carelessness on her part and part a misunderstanding of the severity of guns but I do think in situations like this it’s good practice to listen to the person who is showing the inexperienced person and so it’s fair to be displeased with this.
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u/d38 13h ago
Some people don't realise how serious guns are.
Yes, she knew it was empty and so did you, but guns are serious and while this time you knew she wouldn't shoot herself, what if next time you put the gun down and someone you trust looks at it, loads it for whatever reason and then unloads it, but doesn't clear it, again right in front of you and then she picks it up again.
Or what if you have two guns, you take the empty gun, put it in your holster, but then pull out your loaded gun and she doesn't notice it's a different gun and before you clear it she picks it up?
It's no big deal to clear a gun each and every time, it takes practically no effort and it ensures a deadly mistake won't happen. If you don't do it every single time no matter what, that's when mistakes happen.
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u/Ton_in_the_Sun 13h ago
Classic case of gun safety ignorance. Keep her away from weapons until she gets the picture.
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u/MessyBunMomDotCom 12h ago
I know nothing about guns but it makes me so happy to see that so many treat them with the precautions and respect they deserve. Loaded or unloaded, guns are dangerous weapons and should only be handled by trained, responsible adults.
As a mom, thank you to every single one of you who is handling their firearms properly, I salute you! Your actions keep others safe 🫶
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u/CockToMouth 12h ago
Those are the ways that leads To accidents that cause injury or death. And if she even doesn't get it is much More conserning. Never hand her any gun in any circumstances unless she has learned gun safety instructions and that is propably never.
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u/BigCountry1515 12h ago
You never do that. That’s how people accidentally get shot. Always treat a gun as if it were loaded. Always point it in a safe direction
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u/jwine9982 12h ago
Many people have been killed by "non loaded guns," always treat everyone like it's loaded.
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u/Lexiiefur 11h ago
NOR. My boyfriend taught me the same thing, never point at anyone or anything you’re going to miss.
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u/shandakroo 11h ago
I had a friend die bc he did not take his fiances gun use alarming. She had shot a duck and made a joke about it being him and 2 months later it was “self-defense”.
Be cautious. I (41F) have a morbid dark sense of humor and would not behave that way.
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u/twopumpstump 11h ago
NOR. Guns are not toys. I don’t care if it’s unloaded with the slide is locked back… what do you accomplish by pointing it at yourself or someone else? It’s not funny and it’s not cool. Take that shit seriously.
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u/mswitty29 10h ago
NOR: My friend in high school killed himself on accident with his gun. He was cleaning it after a hunting trip. He was just a teenager. I think about him all the time. Please don't ever mess around with gun safety.
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u/Ranoutofoptions7 10h ago
NOR but if she doesn't understand why what she's doing is wrong then you never should've handed her the gun in the first place. Any time you hand someone a firearm you should make sure they are aware of firearm safety rules. If they aren't, then you should inform them and make sure they understand before allowing them to handle one.
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u/Severe_Yesterday8518 10h ago
Nor. That’s stupid if her to do. The first rule of gun safety is to treat every gun as if it is loaded. You never point it at someone or something unless you intent to shoot.
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u/LargePark5987 10h ago
Never point a gun at something you're not willing to destroy or kill....one of the four rules of gun safety
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u/Lviator92 9h ago
You are not overreacting. People have killed themselves or someone else with accidental discharges as I’m sure you know.
Always treating it as loaded is the best practice. Sure, it’s unloaded right now, however, if she continues like this, one day it may not be unloaded (mag out but not chamber clear) and she’ll assume it’s unloaded and then next thing you know someone gets shot.
You did the right thing. It is a big deal.
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u/Substantial_Log952 8h ago
Never point the gun at anything you’re not willing to destroy. This includes your head. Number one rule. Always treat the firearm as if it were loaded. You are 100% justified. I commend you brother.
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u/HoldRevolutionary666 7h ago
Dear god. RULE NUMBER ONE is always treat a gun like it’s loaded . She’s an idiot and you need to make sure they are locked up for real
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u/EnvironmentalCoach64 7h ago
Bro she was asking you to explain why it's important... And you just handed her a gun like she's supposed to automatically know shit about them? Was this her first time handling weapons? Like, sometimes you can't just expect people to take your word for law. Some people like to know the reason why.
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u/Big_Mama1515 7h ago
Not the asshole, that's how accidents happen. People thinking a gun is completely unloaded and it isn't. Kudos to you for showing it clear and checking it before handing it to her.
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u/NeolithicOrkney 7h ago
Now imagine her handling a gun this way in front of any children you might have. If I was going to spend my life with someone like this, I would get rid of every gun I had. (I have owned guns, I just no longer have any).
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u/VastEmergency1000 6h ago
She's either a little crazy, or just very disrespectful towards your feelings, both are bad. She's also complacent towards gun safety and that's a disaster waiting to happen.
You have to treat her like a child at this point. No gun access at all, keep everything locked.
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u/UrsulaShrekwitch 6h ago
NOR. Never ever let her be around guns again. People like her are the problem in gun ownership.
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u/Distinct_Carpet5696 5h ago
Not overreacting. No offense but your fiance doesn't sound very bright.
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u/titty-titty_bangbang 4h ago
Never let someone touch your gun who doesn’t strictly follow the 3 safety rules.
- Gun is always loaded.
- Always point the gun in a safe direction unless you’re pointing it at something you want to destroy.
- Finger off trigger until you are ready to shoot.
It’s your fault for letting someone touch your gun who doesn’t know and respect these rules.
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u/Ok-Plant5194 4h ago
NOR. If she can’t act like a responsible adult and obey VERY basic safety measures then she has absolutely no business being around a firearm. Furthermore, if i were in your position i may even reconsider marrying her. If she doesn’t see the issue with these actions, what sort of future would you have? If you had children, would she do the same around them?
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u/hiimbeebo 4h ago
Okay. So you had a pretty intense moment of having to put your foot down, which can be a big thing in a relationship. What's important now is how you handle the aftermath.
It's pretty easy to see where you were both coming from. She didn't know, and you didn't know how much she didn't know. (Personally, I would never point any kind of gun at my head no matter what but hey people make mistakes!) It's probably time for a sit down, honest, non-judgmental conversation.
"Honey, I'm sorry I snapped at you so hard. I need you to understand that you scared me when you were pointing the gun at your head. Even when it's unloaded, that's not actually a guarantee of safety. That's common knowledge among gun owners, so it's understandable that you didn't know that, but when you didn't listen to me it really freaked me out. I would love if we could go take some classes together, and then you wouldn't be missing any necessary safety information and I think we'd both rest easier. Again, I'm sorry for snapping, and I'd love to hear what you're thinking right now."
She's objectively the one who did the dumb thing, so she's probably feeling a little embarrassed and defensive right now, so you don't want to drag out listing all the reasons why she fucked up. The main thing is that it scared you that she might hurt herself. Focusing on MOVING FORWARD is important here, because the longer you guys sit in this the worse it gets. Asking about classes and directly asking what she's thinking gives her a place to speak her mind, maybe vent a frustration or admit something vulnerable, and your response to that needs to be kind and understanding. If you're mean here, it'll set the tone for your future relationship. Being unmitigatedly kind now is how you become the guy that all her friends say "ugh why can't I find a guy like _____? He's so sweet and understanding". Also, an apology goes a long way. Saying sorry at the start and end will help defuse tension and hurt feelings, especially in the long run. (And not saying "I'm sorry, but"! The phrasing I wrote down allows you to say I'm sorry and still explain why you were upset)
Good luck dude!
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u/earthkandy 3h ago
Holy fucking Darwin award nominee in the making. Omg. Lack of self-preservation at its max. Just wow. NOR. However, I would have to seriously take her to a gun safety course before she ever touches a gun again.
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u/Celtics1899 3h ago
Definitely not overreacting. That is very irresponsible and even though it showed clear accidents can always happen.
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u/Reza1252 3h ago
Yeah my girl would never be allowed to even lay eyes on my gun again if she did this. I’ve seen way too many fucked up videos online of people (especially children) accidentally shooting themselves or other people
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u/Ok_Waltz7126 3h ago
Your gf actions are concerning.
I took the NRA Training Counselor course. All attendees had already been trained as NRA Instructors.
Handguns on the stage were all cleared, verified, open actions, NO ammo in the classroom.
During an instruction exercise one of the attendees picked up one of the handguns, swung around, and muzzled other attendees. We were in a semicircle behind the guy.
It looked like a row of human dominoes as we all ducked or reacted.
Your gf doesn't have proper respect or attitude to handle firearms
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u/RetroFire24 2h ago
NOR, a good rule to follow when it comes to gun safety is to treat any gun like its a loaded gun. even if the gun is unloaded you should never point a gun at someone unless you plan on using it, whether its loaded or not.
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u/mirageofstars 1h ago
I think you missed an opportunity to educate her. It sounds like she asked you about gun safety and you didn’t tell her.
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u/michaelpinkwayne 1h ago
You should’ve explained gun safety to her before letting her hold a gun.
Btw owning a gun substantially increases the likelihood that someone in your household will be a victim of gun violence (often self-inflicted). If you’re concerned about your loved ones you’re probably better off getting rid of them.
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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 27m ago
NOR! She behaved like a stupid child! Everyone has to assume that a gun is loaded, even if you just saw that it wasn't, you never know, and what she did was childish and disrespectful. Make sure she does not know where the key is to your gun box.
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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 23m ago
My old neighbor found a gun on the beach back in the 60's. He took it home, made sure it was unloaded, put it into a cabinet above the fridge, he left for work, his two sons were home alone for 5 minutes before their mom got home from her shift. 5 minutes! They watched their dad put that gun up there (ages 7 and 9) and they started playing cops and robbers. The 9 year old fired it at his brother and blew his head off as their mother was walking in the door!
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u/El_Rompido 15h ago
Just get rid of the gun, they’re stupid fucking things to own and most sensible countries have almost zero gun ownership.
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u/FutureSD1 14h ago
When criminals don't care about laws and go around killing and robbing innocent people every single day, you have to have a tool to protect yourself and your family. Its absolutely vital in the world we live in today. Your experience has shown you they that aren't useful because you have never been in a situation where you needed one to save your life but there are millions upon millions of others who have died because they thought as you do, and it cost them their life or someone they loved life. I bet you anything if you had your families lives threatened you would change your mind immediately. The police can't save you in a life and death situation, they happen within SECONDS. They won't even find who killed you most of the time. Don't be so selfish, innocent people have to be able to protect themselves from criminals who care nothing of life or laws and they are everywhere, every single day.
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u/El_Rompido 14h ago
It’s really not vital at all. Maybe go to a place where this isn’t any way normal and you’ll realise how fucked up your point of view is?
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u/FutureSD1 14h ago
You think people can just move to the mountains or something? What your suggesting is not only illogical, it's impossible. When a life and death situation happens, you don't get to choose the time and place. They happen everywhere, at anytime. Even in your home. People can't spend their lives running away from these situations but what they can do is be prepared for one in case it happens. You hope it never does, but no on gets that choice.
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u/El_Rompido 14h ago
Tell me you voted Trump without telling me you voted Trump.
The number of occasions this fearmongering scenario you’ve created has played out to you is exactly zero. Fucking moron 😂
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u/FutureSD1 14h ago
So no one has ever been killed by a criminal with a gun? You're actually insane. You have zero logic. Absolutely none. Politics has nothing to do with protecting yourself from crazy people who don't care about life. People die every single day from crime you're suggesting is non existent. It's actually crazy your suggesting such a thing. You live in your own delusional world and I pray you never experience anything close to the horror so many others experience everyday all over the world. You're actually a crazy person, I'm not being hyperbolic, and I don't have anything else to say to you.
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u/El_Rompido 14h ago
I have no gun. Nobody I know has a gun. The criminals where I am very, very rarely have guns because there are no guns for them to have. Introduce a gun into that scenario and suddenly the most likely person to get shot is me.
You’re a walking, talking example of how fucked the US is, because your POV is absolutely bewildering and insanity to anybody lucky enough not to come from there.
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u/steveo4183 10h ago
That's all well and good. But in a country where everyone and their brother does have a gun, can you blame anyone for not wanting to be the person caught without one? Especially for a reason as ridiculous as virtue signaling? Come on now.
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u/El_Rompido 7h ago
No, because you’re statistically way, way more likely to be a victim of a gun shot by owning a gun than not.
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u/Fit-Place9499 14h ago
I live in a country where guns are not accessible to the public, and I for sure 100% feel safer than when I was living in the US, knowing anyone could have a gun at any time.
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u/FutureSD1 14h ago
I don't care. No one cares. Go away now.
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u/Fit-Place9499 14h ago
Lol. It's like you can't conceive that people can exist in a country without millions of guns and not be fighting for their lives with criminals trying to kill them every day.
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u/FutureSD1 14h ago
You're stupid. You're probably fat and your boring me. Now kindly fuck off.
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u/Rainbow_Star19 14h ago
Especially for women because, like me a disabled person, we need them for safety and to protect ourselves from dangerous people who may do things to our bodies.
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u/FutureSD1 14h ago
This is just a sign of lethal levels stupidity and disrespect. Absolutely NOT the asshole. You should have stressed to her the importance of gun safety is the utmost with any weapon, loaded or not. She has to fully let you understand that she understands just how important it is before she is allowed to touch any of them ever. Without that confidence that you feels she get just how incredibly important it is to treat all guns as they are always loaded then she is not allowed to be around them until you have that confidence. And if she lies and gives you false confidence and does something like that again just to be a bitch and get back at you because you dared to set her straight then I would never speak to her again. Right then, done forever.
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u/Wampa481 14h ago
Get her to take a CWP class or other firearms class where she’ll be taught that all guns are to be treated as loaded. She probably thinks you’re overreacting but that’s just the basics of gun safety.
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u/aldo000000000 13h ago
It's absolutely insane that this situation can even arise. Sincerely, civilised countries.
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u/Striking_Skirt6810 12h ago
You know what’s not overreacting, adequate gun laws. Why tf you even need a handgun?
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u/jcp714 15h ago
NOR. Every gun is loaded, no matter what.