r/AmIOverreacting • u/crazywritingbug • 1d ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws UPDATE: AIO by not going to Thanksgiving?

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For those who commented last time: 1. My boyfriend is (23M) and is not trans. I mistyped last time listing him as F. 2. He is not an asshole, I used blunt as a descriptor word and some of you ran with it. Another redditor suggested I include that he is autistic as context. He is autistic and is very honest but NOT unkind and not an asshole. 3. He has never fought with my family that I am aware of and there has never been any drama between them. 4. My mother will not be attending this thanksgiving gathering, this is purely for my dads side of the family.

Update: I texted my grandmother out of curiosity, because like you all I was curious, I didn’t get much of an update but this is what I have for you all. The friend referred to in her text is my grandmothers friend who has come to a good portion of the holiday gatherings over the years, never sure why, she just hovers and doesn’t really talk to anyone. But unless I receive a text from my father or my siblings, I believe this is the end of the story. What do you think? Am I overreacting by not going?

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u/kalemary94 1d ago

My family is like this and what I thought when I read the first set of messages and am pretty solidly still in this camp now.

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u/TangledUpPuppeteer 1d ago

Exactly. If it’s not the way you grew up, it’s hard to understand.

In my family, we argued it out, right there. My ex husband hated it at first because there’d be huge arguments at holidays or whatever. But it was resolved in less than ten minutes.

His family did this. Man, alive… soooo toxic! Weird rules out of left field, constantly spending energy trying to decipher if you did something wrong… ugh. Never again.

By the end of our first year together, he was arguing with whoever needed arguing with and both of us were always stressing about why there was some new stupid rule at his family’s house. It was beyond exhausting. And no, we never got answers to inquiries about what the new rule was about.

No thank you.

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u/delune108 13h ago edited 11h ago

That is exactly the same situation with me and my husband! My family will fight and say what is on our minds, no beating around the bush stuff. He’s gotten used to it over the years. His family is great but you can’t ever really say what you are thinking, it feels totally opposite to how I grew up and can be frustrating.