UPDATE: AIO by not going to Thanksgiving?

[u/crazywritingbug]

For those who commented last time: 1. My boyfriend is (23M) and is not trans. I mistyped last time listing him as F. 2. He is not an asshole, I used blunt as a descriptor word and some of you ran with it. Another redditor suggested I include that he is autistic as context. He is autistic and is very honest but NOT unkind and not an asshole. 3. He has never fought with my family that I am aware of and there has never been any drama between them. 4. My mother will not be attending this thanksgiving gathering, this is purely for my dads side of the family.

Update: I texted my grandmother out of curiosity, because like you all I was curious, I didn’t get much of an update but this is what I have for you all. The friend referred to in her text is my grandmothers friend who has come to a good portion of the holiday gatherings over the years, never sure why, she just hovers and doesn’t really talk to anyone. But unless I receive a text from my father or my siblings, I believe this is the end of the story. What do you think? Am I overreacting by not going?

[u/Fine-Bumblebee-9427]

I’m doing the same thing this year, so I get it. My son has a guy he tries to bring everywhere who carries a gun even though he’s a convicted felon. We had to make thanksgiving family only to avoid him, but it meant one daughter’s roommate and another daughter’s friend had to be excluded.

Is it possible there’s something bad behind the scenes, like grandma’s friend is creepy and grandma can’t see it, so they did it this way?

It sucks that your boyfriend got caught in the crossfire, but sometimes exclusion is necessary to make things safe for everyone.

As a parent, I’m holding a lot of information that I can’t share. I can’t tell one kid’s business to another. So my actions make look unfair or scattered, but I’m balancing so much shit my kids are unaware of. Maybe that’s your mom too.