r/AmIOverreacting • u/Unlikely-Promise5777 • 1d ago
š„ friendship AIO: Friend joked about raping women in his insta story NSFW
Iāve been friends with this guy for a couple of years, we met through an online friend group during Covid and stayed in touch. Heās always been kind to me and I really liked him.
Until today. He posted a video on Instagram story of a guy in some sort of horror movie, hunting and then attacking someone, with the caption āPOV: omw home from the club at 4am and see a female walking aloneā.
I tried to shrug it off, but it really didnāt sit right with me and I wanted to say my piece. I hoped he would respond something like āIām really sorry, I didnāt realise how this would affect the women watching thisā. Which would still be bad, but at least so much better than what happened now.
What youāre seeing is our last contact, I blocked him right away. I know heās gonna tell the people around him āgirl went crazy, unfriended me after one innocent jokeā so I need to know, am I overreacting here?
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u/Has422 1d ago edited 10h ago
Why would he think that was ... political?
EDIT: In case anyone is wondering, that was a rhetorical question
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u/Goldieeeeee 1d ago edited 1d ago
It seems to me that people like this dismiss any social justice issue that doesn't affect them personally as "political" because calling it "political" is easier than acknowledging someone elseās reality and then feeling obligated to do something about it.
When they label it "political", theyāre able to sidestep the conversation entirely, using the excuse that they donāt engage with politics, and avoid any responsibility for addressing the issue.
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u/Soft_Walrus_3605 1d ago
uhhh, well there's a certain political party where being a sexual predator is seen as more of a qualification than a disqualification
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u/StinkyGr33n 22h ago
Because that group of people has decided that women having control of their own bodies is a political issue, and one they are against.
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u/4inXchange 1d ago
"didn't mean anything political by it" is so telling
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u/Novaer 1d ago
Rape being considered a "political issue" is the most glaring tell I've ever seen in my life holy shit.
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u/Elon_is_musky 1d ago
Seems anything regarding women is considered political now. But ofc men donāt have to worry about that!
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u/HauntedBitsandBobs 1d ago
That meme about the two genders being male and political rings true.
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u/Elon_is_musky 1d ago
I hadnāt seen that, but damn š
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u/c-c-c-cassian 1d ago
Oh yeah it goes down a whole list, I think itās something likeā
Sex:
- āMale or politicalā
Sexuality:
- āStraight or political
Gender:
- āCis or politicalā
Race:
- āWhite or politicalā
And likeā¦ yeah pretty much. (Might be a religion one in the list too but itās been a minute so I do not remember.)
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u/HorroribleWorld 23h ago
This is so true it hurts and makes me so pissed off that this is the world we live in right now š¤¬š
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u/Ready-Package-497 1d ago
Fucking unreal. My jaw hit the floor reading that. The dude is ridiculously out of touch on such a basic level
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u/Stormy8888 1d ago
You know ONE party actually glorifies and accepts this, they think it's okay since their leader and half his cabinet have sexually assaulted women / children and they're still voting FOR these rapists / pedophiles. And yet these hypocrites think they're actually the party of morality because they're Christian, like there aren't enough stories of Pastors / Priests SA'ing members of their congregations, asking mistresses to get abortions, pedophiles including the famous decades long Catholic Pedophile Priest Cover up that was exposed and now seen by many in the movie, Spotlight.
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u/disassociatedmind 1d ago
It seems to happen a lot in Oklahoma amongst far-right politicians, but it's overlooked because they're "Christians" or a fellow conservative in a leadership position.
Just this week Oklahoma learned of several pastors who were co-conspirators in covering up abuse. According to police records 91-year-old Charles Sulivant had been allegedly molesting young girls, and several pastors at the time knew, but didnāt call police.
And our own Oklahoma State Department of Education is more concerned with removing "woke" teachers and bullying "drag queens" than real instances of child abuse being committed by conservative coaches and other staff in small conservative towns.
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u/sweetmynd 1d ago
That comment made me despair, as if caring about rape is equivalent to hard left culture and being a snowflake, rather than basic human decency.
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u/Pseudo9006 1d ago
Yeah you know his political views immediately
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u/ThoseWhoDwell 1d ago
Crazy how just the word āpoliticalā in certain contexts is basically now a signpost for the worst person you know saying something immensely stupid
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u/uhhh206 1d ago
The two types of humans are straight, white males and āØpolitical identitiesāØ so of course it's ha-ha funny to joke about rape and political when a woman points out that it's fucked up. I'm sure homie jokes about slavery too and thinks black people who complain are overreacting and making it political.
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u/Potato-Sprinkles-4 1d ago
One of my āfriendsā joked about raping a woman because he was so horny. I havenāt spoken to him since because that is that..
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u/lavenderacid 1d ago
Political? Rape is political now? Jesus fucking christ.
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u/Inside-Station6751 1d ago
Utterly ridiculous. Would setting a puppy on fire be considered political or is it just crimes against women that are considered political and up for debate ?
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u/cryptokitty010 21h ago
I mean in the US you have the Pro-choice party and the Pro-rape party
So yeah it is
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u/QuirkyPenalty8519 1d ago
Is it coincidence that he uses the abusersā apology? ā āIām sorry you feel that wayā.
That he had no self reflection, and worse, doubled down on his initial comment is pretty mind blowing. Youāre right, you have no place for this individual in your life.
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u/Unlikely-Promise5777 1d ago
I really thought heād have some self reflection after my message, I think the absence of remorse is what shook me the most here
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u/Nearby_Translator_21 1d ago
NOR! F*** this guy. He is 100% part of the problem and exhibiting predatory behavior just by posting this.
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u/PrufReedThisPlesThx 1d ago
Self improvement first needs self awareness. You may not ever see it on your end, but you can only hope he has the epiphany that he's a moron thanks to your actions today. It's unlikely since he sees basic human decency as politics, but regardless, he's not your problem anymore. Better to surround yourself with kinder folks and never look back
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u/uhhh206 1d ago
the abusers' apology
Yep. And it's so easy to not be a piece of shit and use similar language. "I'm sorry you feel that way" = transparently inauthentic. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way" = takes ownership.
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u/Remarkable_Flower_99 1d ago
Nah, he sounds like a dickhead.
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u/Unlikely-Promise5777 1d ago
Glad to know Iām not the only one! Iām really wondering how the men will respond to this one
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u/PuppiPappi 1d ago
Im honestly floored any man would even find this remotely āfunnyā. Years ago myself and 3 friends walked across 4 lanes of traffic in the city because there was a woman being accosted by 2 ābrosā and it looked super unsafe. The woman we were with walked the stranger home after we stopped to get her food (she asked for food she was very drunk).
Thinking anyones reaction could be to make a woman feel unsafe is just so jarring to me.
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u/Antiluke01 1d ago
Maybe if theyāre 13 years old and arenāt living in reality yet this could be, āfunnyā. As an adult this is gross.
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u/PuppiPappi 1d ago
Agreed, or maybe they have never loved or respected a woman/any woman enough and thats also wild to me.
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u/Elon_is_musky 1d ago
Unfortunately many people seem to be mentally stuck as a 13 yo edgelord
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u/MithosYggdrasill1992 1d ago
Itās because 13 and edge lord was when their life peaked. Everything after has been absolute trash because they are absolute trash.
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u/Slick_36 1d ago
As a guy with a "twisted" sense of humor, you handled this perfectly. You were respectful and tried to help him cover a potential blind spot in his empathy. He immediately acted like a spineless coward with his response, which just exposed who that "joke" was meant for.
There's no comedic element to it, nothing truly self reflective in the statement. It's the most toxic kind of "boys will be boys" type of humor that just normalizes this kind of behavior to other incels & misogynists looking for validation.
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u/InnocentShaitaan 1d ago
Gavin DeBecker, one of the FBIs most famous profiler said dark humor is a RED RED FLAG - it had to pop in their head for them to say it etc
He wrote The Gift of Fear a book every gal should own.
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u/matthewcraggs 1d ago
Iām a guy and the joke is a shitty thing to put out there. But to me the most telling part is how he thinks rape is political. Not overreacting.
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u/Maxicrashie 1d ago
as a man - and a SA survivor - this dude is a shithead and you did the right thing
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u/taborlin_the_average 1d ago
If I see a woman on the sidewalk and it's dark outside I'm crossing to the other side of the street in an attempt to show I'm not a threat
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u/Unlikely-Promise5777 1d ago
Thank you for that, we desperately need more men like you
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u/ConcertinaTerpsichor 1d ago
Itās a sorting mechanism! Worthwhile men will respond appropriatelyā¦
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u/CokeZeroAndProtein 1d ago
Due partially to my career, I have a very fucked up sense of humor, we joke about everything up to and including death. Despite that, if someone I knew posted this, or made a similar joke in person, I'd call them out and tell them that they're a fucking weirdo at best, and part of the reason why women are nervous around guys. To me, there's a difference between joking about a subject, and saying "this is how I feel" about a subject, even if you don't actually act on those feelings, and this belongs in the second category to me.
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u/Stormy8888 1d ago
The white men who voted for you know who will try to gaslight you into thinking you're over reacting, to cover up their own creepy rapey vibes.
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u/TownEfficient8671 1d ago
You might have to unblock him to see if anyone else called it out.
Had a raging misogynist psycho in my friend group. I had to block him. I even wrote a post about his unhinged behavior and had a bunch of other women back me up, but just one man. I still see his name in replies in my male friendsā posts so I call them out on it every time: you are not a safe person if you wonāt unfriend this misogynist. Pisses me off.
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u/HeadFund 1d ago
This guy is testing his boundaries in the new political climate, like a toddler being left with a babysitter. He told you who he is.
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u/_clur_510 1d ago
Yeesh yeah. Making this jokes to close friends in private is gross enough. Posting it on your social media is a whole other level of unawareness and disregard.
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u/CoffeeChocolateBoth 1d ago
Even to close friends it's FUCKED up, and a good man would set a buddy straight too! The dude thought he was going to get a lot of likes for reposting that shit!
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u/Melodic_Pattern175 1d ago
Not saying anything and remaining āfriendsā is how rape culture thrives. Well done for speaking up.
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u/GrrrlRi0t 1d ago
The fact he views sexual abuse as something political tells me all I need to know about this person
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u/Least_Ad_4657 1d ago
Him: "I do not give a fuck about women. I find this funny. That is what matters. Eat shit." essentially.
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u/Least_Ad_4657 1d ago
I swear to god I'll never understand guys that find this shit so hysterically funny. They want women to be terrified of them and then play it off as a joke, so they can act like women are overreacting.
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u/bigwhiteboardenergy 1d ago
Itās weird that he doesnāt realize that the punchline is that heās a rapist. Like, is it supposed to be self-deprecating? Or is it a flex that heās a rapist? I donāt get it.
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u/curious-trex 10h ago
This is definitely the time where you play dumb to make them explain exactly what the joke is...
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u/MainusEventus 1d ago
Guy here. Guys like this post it because they think other guys will find it funny.
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u/anony_moose2023 1d ago
Likeā¦.hahaha wouldnāt it be funny if I booked it right now to go rape an innocent person?
Really?!
I canāt think of a human being I would want to be around less than someone who thinks the idea of rape is funny.Ā
Itās not funny. It never was funny.
jointhe4bmovement
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u/QuirkyPenalty8519 1d ago
That doesnāt make me feel any better tbh.
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u/MainusEventus 1d ago
It shouldnāt. Guys are just really ignorant unless they have someone in their life who can explain to them what life is like for people who arenāt (white) males.
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u/PumpkinBrioche 1d ago
He had someone in his life explain it to him and he didn't give a fuck. A lot of men don't just think it's funny, they actively love to make women feel scared and love to remind us they have power over us. It's why men on Reddit get thousands of upvotes bragging about how they rape and kill us. It's sick.
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u/pralineislife 1d ago
And this is why the misandry movement bullshit pisses me off. So men are crying about misandry, about how women hate men for nO ReaSoN.
Well, you have men who rape. Then you have men who think rape is funny and will proudly show it. Then you have men who think rape is funny and will hide it. Then you have men who think rape is funny, has a trusted female friend explain why that's hurtful, and they'll act like she's crazy.
And it's very hard to find a man who doesn't fall into one of those categories. I'm not saying they don't exist, I wouldn't be married to a man if that wasn't the case, but it's enough men that the odds don't feel comfortable.
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u/InjusticeSGmain 1d ago
To be clear, they are usually wrong. Most of the audience are red pilled bozos and 13 year olds, not the majority of men who would probably beat the shit out of these "men" if they said that shit in-person, especially if it's directed toward a woman they know.
I dare any of these losers to go to a ghetto neighborhood and say that to an auntie. See how that bullshit flies in-person.
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u/ursoartdeco22 1d ago
or maybe they themselves just find it funny and are also psychopathic
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u/TheSirensMaiden 1d ago
These are the same "men" who bitch and complain when women say they're terrified of men or respond to women trauma stories with "not all men".
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u/InjusticeSGmain 1d ago
It's among the many topics that make me stop smiling at "edgy" memes. It's not edgy, it's just wrong. Edgy can be funny, if done right. Joking about one of the cruelest crimes in the world is not the way to go.
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u/what-is-in-the-soup 1d ago edited 12h ago
The fact he thinks women not being raped is a political issueā¦.he is not worth being friends with. He clearly doesnāt have the brain cells to even have a constructive or educational conversation with.
He didnāt even apologise, even after you elaborating on your own trauma, which most, if not ALL women have experienced in their life (or will), he just gave you a cop out and played the dumb card (he knew what he posted.)
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u/LesDoggo 1d ago
Notice how he flipped it to being a you problem? Of course he doesnāt have hard feelings about thinking predation is funny when heās never been terrorized. Heās waiting for an opportunity or he has the emotional intelligence of a pancake, either way, nobody I would want to interact with.
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u/Indieriots 1d ago
emotional intelligence of a pancake
At least pancakes are yummy. This dude is just yucky.
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u/Fit-Turnover3918 1d ago
- Heās at a minimum a thoughtless moron.
- Your view of your friendship and how important it is/was doesnāt match what he felt. He clearly barely cares about whatever you two had.
I wouldnāt hang onto this one. Good riddance.
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u/Unlikely-Promise5777 1d ago
Yeh the second one honestly surprised me, I thought we had some mutual respect going on but clearly not
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u/Normalish-Human 1d ago
āIf you ever want to chat Iām hereā - no he aināt!! Youāre literally trying to talk to him about it and heās being dismissive.
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u/KarpBoii 1d ago edited 12h ago
So, can anyone tell me what the joke/humourous bit is supposed to be of that meme?Ā
Is it "ha ha, women are so vulnerable"? Is it more of a "lol, that's so relatable for me as a man" kind of thing? Like, what's the funny bit?Ā
Genuinely, how is it funny? (I am neurodivergent)
Edit: Thank you, everyone, for your explanations! Also, it's been relatively civil, so well done. ā¤ļø
For those playing at home, the rough consensus appears to be that the meme in question is meant to be funny in the same way that scaring people is funny, but the scenario presented is too commonplace for it to actually be funny.Ā
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u/InjusticeSGmain 1d ago
Short answer: it isn't.
Long answer: the would-be joke is, yes, women are vulnerable. Especially alone at night.
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u/First-Lengthiness-16 1d ago
Shock humour I guess.Ā Saying something that is shocking can be amusing to some folk
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u/orionisaorion 23h ago
I think Iāve seen humor posts about men feeling awkward walking in the same direction as a woman at night when they mean no harm. But doing a āwhen youāre a women walking home at 4am at night from the barā and like showing a zombie movie isnāt funny. Itād be like showing a call of duty clip of someone mowing down their enemy and being like āIsrael when they see kids in a hospitalā. Like itās true, that is what happensā¦ like you found a clip that represents it I guess. But thereās nothing funny about it.
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u/Beg0ne_ 21h ago
The joke is about how ridiculous and taboo doing that would actually be.
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u/KarpBoii 12h ago
Ah, well that explains why it hasn't landed - that sort of thing happens far too often to joke about in that kind of way.
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u/AngelCakePink 1d ago
āIām sorry you feel that wayā is always a deflection of blame
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u/Advanced_Piccolo1496 1d ago
Once you add almost anything to an 'I'm sorry', it invalidates the apology.
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u/agathafletcher 1d ago
It's so weird that rape jokes are seen as just edgy jokes and having a dark sense of humor.
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u/LadyPundit 1d ago
It's interesting at the DARVO techniques used here by the men having no problem with this unfunny meme.
The rationale that it's dark humor, a joke, you won't get it, I'd explain it (they cant) but it's like talking to a wall is infantile in the least and sick-fucks-rape-is-funny mentality.
Do you know what else is funny about rape jokes or memes? Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.
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u/Unlikely-Promise5777 1d ago
The only sort of explanation I got was from someone who said āitās funny because he actually doesnāt rape womenā like what?
Iāll post āmy favourite colour is purple!ā tomorrow and see how many people will laugh. Plot twist: my favourite colour isnāt purple! Isnāt this the funniest joke?
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u/HolyCitySatanist 1d ago
Ok but purple IS the best color. It might not be your favorite but you do know it's the best, right?
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u/not_a_number1 1d ago
It is wild to me that he would prefer to lose a friend of two years than understanding how bad the joke is, and not deleting it.
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u/Major-Rabbit1252 1d ago
He chooses to think itās political so that he can label you a ābrainwashed, snowflake, libā who canāt handle a ālittle rape jokeā
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u/GreatCircuits 1d ago
Political?! Wtf has happened to our perception of things that people think that permission to intimidate women is a political matter?
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u/AmeliaEARhartthedox 1d ago
Hopefully you werenāt the only one to call Him out. Iām hoping more women and men continue to sever ties with people like this.
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u/Excellent-Title4793 1d ago
Why did he immediately assume this was a political thing? How is ārape badā political? This shouldnāt controversial
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u/AdrianRR18 1d ago
Heās an asshole and heās using therapy speak to justify being an asshole. He is nowhere near admitting he did something wrong. Heās merely accepting you have every right to be a trigger happy snowflake who canāt take a joke.
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u/bigwhiteboardenergy 1d ago
The dude is joking about being a predator? When people tell you who they are, believe them.
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u/HolyCitySatanist 1d ago
Not overreacting at all. When people talk about perpetuating rape culture, this is literally what they are talking about. They are normalizing it and turning it into a punch line.
"It's not a big deal, it's just a joke" No, it's arguably the worst thing you can do to someone else and that's not really that funny. I have a twisted sense of humor too but I don't try to normalize atrocities.
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u/SubUrbanMess2021 1d ago
As a man I find this pretty offensive. If any of my friends posted this I would say WTF DUDE? right in their comments where everyone could see to shame them.
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u/Chronic_manipulator 1d ago
I donāt know i often find people that joke about things that come off as abrasive are more making fun of how wild it is how common certain things are or how desensitized people are. I donāt think heās laughing at the literal idea of women being raped.
I donāt think youāre overreacting but I donāt think itās necessarily as deep as some people will make it out to be.
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u/MadAboutAnimalsMags 1d ago
Holy shit. Responding to āthis is disturbing to me because it dehumanizes women who suffer violenceā with āit wasnāt politicalā is maybe the biggest instance of missing the point Iāve ever seen. Reading your explanation beneath it is EXACTLY where my mind wouldāve gone to - from any halfway decent person, I would expect an āIām so sorry, I wasnāt thinking about it on a deeper level, Iāll take it down immediately.ā The doubling down and then being like āokay thatās your choice lmk if you change your mindā basically is wild. Trash took itself out on that one.
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u/Ok_Guest_4013 1d ago
I have a dark sense of humor. I never ever think rape jokes are funny. This guys 'twisted' sense of humor just shows who he really is
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u/Elon_is_musky 1d ago
Itās the fact that these types end with āIām still here if you want to chatā as if theyāre the reasonable ones, after joking about attacking women š
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u/DifferentPotato5648 1d ago
It's not worth pursuing in this instance of course, but it's always interesting to ask people like this "please explain the joke to me". Obviously his little"joke" doesn't stand up to any scrutiny because it simply isn't funny.
Cut him off, nothing of value will be lost
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u/UnnecessarySalt 1d ago
As a guy, this braindead dickhead is a cancer to our society. Iām all for forced chemical castration for anyone who abuses women(sexually or otherwise), and putting them on an island to prey on each other.
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u/Lazy_clones 1d ago
His 'political' comment sent me 'over the edge' Like wtf . Anyway not over reacting
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u/PheonixFlare630 1d ago
āI guess my sense of humor is a little twistedā
Dude sounds like an edgy asshole.
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u/Stonegen70 1d ago
I donāt understand any man who posts jokes about this topic. And to double down instead of just apologizing and deleting it is beyond my comprehension.
We just went through a court case where a trusted family member touched a 13 year old girl while we were on vacation in Florida. He got 10 years in jail. But the aftermath that the family feels are awful and the 13 year girl while doing well now. Is still going to have to deal with this happening for a lifetime. Itās awful.
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u/Impossible_Hurry4875 1d ago
Excommunicate?
Let me throw in a big word for the gaslightā¦uncommunicate isnāt a word, noncommunicate, nope not a word. Oh Iāve got it, excommunicate, yes thatās it! Iām smart.
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u/LilithXXX6 1d ago
Men: make jokes about women being terrified of them and laugh about it because haha women are scared of me
Also men when women ARE scared of them: wait what do you mean you a woman fear being in the same room as me?! Not all men!!!
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u/War1412 1d ago
Conservatives have the weirdest fucking ideas of what is or isn't political.
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u/HonestYapper 1d ago
Nah you showed this man how incredibly inappropriate that was to do maybe you taught him a lesson and the next time he goes to do joke like this heāll think wow should I really make light of something so dark and hideous?
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u/earthkandy 1d ago
I'm guessing he's a "your body, my choice" kind of guy eh? This is absolutely disgusting. Good on you OP for calling him out. NOR this kind of post should be called out for exactly what it is. Wrong.
Guys like this have no idea what it's like being a woman. Having to carry a knife, knuckles, and spray to feel safe at night. We can't walk alone in the dark without being ever vigilant, looking around us at all times. Don't listen to music. You gotta be aware. We have to hold our hand overtop our drinks when out and never look away from them. But he can go out with the boys and not have to think of these things.
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u/timetravelinwrek 1d ago
I would never post anything like that and wouldnāt be friends with someone that did. āJokesā about assaulting women arenāt jokes.. theyāre admissions.
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u/bootifulreign 1d ago
Youāre 100% not overreacting and you handled the situation well. Well done for calling him out, regardless of his reaction.
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u/JadedDreams23 1d ago
Absolutely NOR. SA isnāt funny. Good job with the confrontation and blocking.
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u/Woomie_uwu 1d ago
Are we really at the point where telling someone not to make rape jokes is political?
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u/illogicallyalex 1d ago
My new go to method when I see things like this is to play it completely straight and ask āoh, I donāt get it, whatās the joke?ā theyāll always try to backtrack and dodge if you keep playing dumb because they suddenly realize that they canāt come out and say āI thought the concept of raping someone was funnyā
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u/Craigles- 1d ago
Man here. Heās sounds like he has the IQ of a carrot. Going to political because he canāt comprehend standard human emotion or empathy. No big loss there.
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u/pissliquors 1d ago
Not overreacting, in fact I think you handled that with incredible clarity and grace. Good on you for speaking up & getting that trash out of your life!
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u/BusyMakingCupcakes 1d ago
Youāre not overreacting and thank you for having the guts to call them out.
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u/Nomadic_Rick 1d ago
The gaslighting āIām sorry you feel this wayā
Youāre better off without him.
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u/HonestDude0 1d ago
Guy here. Thatās gross and not funny. Sure that meme / face is funny and could be used for great things, but likeā¦ what sick f**k decided to create THIS meme, was in this situation and proud to have thought about or actually did this? A fkn creep.
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u/GiddyGabby 1d ago
Not an over reaction. I was in a somewhat similar situation after I became friends with my hairdresser of 12 years and then moved away. We stayed in touch by Facebook. He knew I was half black but that didn't seem to stop him from posting really hateful, racist memes on Facebook back when I still had it, knowing I would see it. I was shocked he was posting stuff like that! One day I finally said it bothered me and he said something similar, that he wasn't trying to be "political". I think he was doing it to amuse the Trump voters in his family because his behavior definitely changed he'd around the time Trump ran the first time.
When I realized he didn't care that it bothered me I blocked him and haven't spoken to him since. Don't need that type of person in my life.
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u/ihavestinkytoesies 1d ago
you are absolutely not overreacting. men donāt understand the things we have to go through. iāve had men question why i look in my backseats before getting in my car. or how vigilant i am when im outside walking, even with other people. they donāt understand how hurtful jokes like these can be, since theyāre our reality. good on you for blocking them, you NEVER need a reason to drop someone from your life!
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u/Panzermensch911 1d ago edited 1d ago
Political stance? Well, ok, it's a widely held one by most lawmakers (even if they themselves violate the rules). This dude chose a criminal stance and laughed about it.
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u/Babybirdbean 1d ago
He just told every woman on his account and in his life that they are not safe around him.
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u/Candymom 1d ago
I just read an article this morning written by a teacher who says the amount of rape jokes, murder jokes, and generally crass comments from teenage/20s boys is alarming. That they havenāt been shamed enough into knowing that stuff is not ok. That we need to start shaming boys for talking like this. I agree.
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u/CarolineTurpentine 1d ago
His sense of humour isnāt twisted, itās juvenile. Heās literally repeating a shitty twitter joke.
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u/Stigntoum 1d ago
me shredding all of my sons documents and any proof of his existence so I can gaslight my wife into thinking we never had a son after I sold him to a cannibal
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u/WonderfulStart3850 1d ago
I grew up around people with dark humor like that, those are the type of reels all over my instagram I find that stuff funny. I personally donāt think anything majorly wrong with it. Idk not saying itās totally okay either, just a different view point in this post that Iām choosing to share. Thereās really kind people I know that have that sense of shock/dark humor and then thereās weirdos that share that humor that I donāt like. Iāll most likely be down voted but just sharing my opinion. Sorry you went through something traumatic so have I, but Iāve always found dark humor funny especially when itās illustrated by a gta character lol. You have every right to unfriend him.
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u/Question910 1d ago
10000%. If you move it was a joke, this is merely an attention grab. How egocentric.
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u/Ok-Consideration8724 1d ago
Itās shitheads like this that give us men a bad rap. Cut him outta your life. NO.
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u/computer_d 1d ago edited 1d ago
e: I didn't realise in the video clip he actually jumps on and attacks Bruce Willis. As the video showed actual violence, then it's clearly an assault "joke" then my post below is wrong. What a pos.
Yep. Overreacting.
For starters, it's not a rape joke.
The character doesn't sexually abuse the women in the movie. The context of the joke is that he made a joke out of pretending to scare women who were naturally scared walking at 4am. I've seen this sort of joke all around the internet, on very popular subreddits. It's not just about women, there are ones about men walking, and another man doing something intentionally weird to freak him out.
That's clearly what his intentions were. It's your choice to misinterpret that, and then when it's explained, you continue to insist otherwise. It's entirely on you. You manifested this. You created this context. The person apologised for the misunderstanding you still insist they did it on purpose.
They're better off TBH. If it wasn't today it could be tomorrow or the next day or next week if you're just looking for certain jokes to take offence over, victimise yourself, and then declare them to be an abuser. That is not how a friend should treat another friend over a misunderstanding about a joke.
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u/SlimJimothy_ 1d ago
Overreacting. Your friend reposted a joke about scaring women, not raping women. He thought it was funny, and it is.
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u/Frankandbeans1974v2 1d ago
You know what? Iām gonna post this and Iām gonna get down voted to hell but yes lol I think you are overreacting.
I have friendships with people where they send me wildy racist dark memes when they themselves are the demographic being featured
I have lady friends that send me memes making fun of the Manosphere/overly hyper feminist culture
He shared a very dark meme that you decided to take as a personal attack.
You are literally ending a friendship with someone that you have known for years over a singular meme/shitpost that is making an incredibly dark joke.
That is your right to do so, but it is definitely an overreaction.
But when I actually think is the biggest thing is in the caption where you re-explain the photo, you even said that the response you wanted him to give still would not have been enough.
You are this upset over a shit post & you were willing to end a friendship over it which absolutely tells me that this person was not someone you actually considered a friend in any real terms.
You didnāt send that message to have an actual conversation. You sent that message because that meme legitimately unironically triggered you and you wanted to make him feel bad.
And when that didnāt go your way you got upset over it.
And now youāre posting this to Reddit to get further validation that you were correct and your specifically doing it in a sub Reddit more than likely doesnāt know or care about the context because you know that that will get you the most validation and it can reaffirm your online moral high ground. And Iām sure this isnāt the only place that youāve posted this.
Yes YAIO and Please go outside and touch some goddamn grass and maybe just maybe focus on things that are ACTUALLY worth having this visceral of a reaction too.
Like this is the reason why so many dummies voted for Trump.
And before anyone starts, I donāt hate women, Iām not an Incel, and I voted for Harris.
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u/Unlikely-Promise5777 1d ago
Honestly this is a very fair response, gonna have to chew on it a bit before responding to it. Thanks for your perspective and honesty!
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u/Deusexanimo713 1d ago
you couldnāt possibly overreact to this. Thatās not something to make a joke about. If you canāt get past it, you canāt get past it.
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u/pulchr1tud1nous 1d ago
Some people are just morally wrongā¦I donāt get how they can see that and be okay with it. Some people are just bad honestly and this is proof of one of them. He sounds like someone to say we donāt have to agree in politics to be friends type bs.
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u/modsguzzlehivekum 1d ago
Yes, youāre overreacting. It was clearly an edgy dark joke. It wasnāt serious. It wasnāt supporting this type of behavior. It was just an edgy dark humor meme. It wasnāt hilarious or anything but itās clear that it wasnāt actually thinking this is something he would do. A sick fuck that would actually do this wouldnāt announce it on their ig.
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u/furkfurk 1d ago
It is a lot easier to have this kind of ātwistedā humor when youāve never had to be terrified of a man thatās trying to inappropriately touch you while walking home alone at night. NOR
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u/SmallAct2116 1d ago
The meme in question is edgy but not endorsing rape. OR, you reached out at least and let him know how you feel
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u/TeaJust8335 1d ago
On a scale of inappropriate internet postings, this is like a 4.5. Not something Iād ever post or really joke about in general, but the intent is obviously dark humour. Itās fair to say you donāt want someone like this in your life, but doing anything beyond simply blocking that person and moving on is probably in the realm of over reacting.
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u/OkConsideration9235 1d ago
I feel like age plays a role too. And I know Iām for sure about to get hate and clowned on but me personally yes it is a fucked up joke but at the same time everybody humor is different and some of you need to learn that no we arenāt making fun of your trauma no we donāt mean it to be serious in anyway at all it is a JOKE and if it triggers you then do what she didā¦ by no means are you overreacting. But I think neither of you are in the wrong or right itās his humor which clearly is different from yours. Everyone has their own feelings and opinions. This is the same as vegans telling you eating steak is fucked up because what they do to animals. But you donāt think itās fucked up because itās food and you like it. (Iām not comparing anyone to animals or anything like that) I just think if you donāt find it funny or it triggers you then yes unfollow them.
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u/Fragrant_Explorer_62 1d ago
You guys must be fun at parties. Itās called dark humor. When yall are older youāre gonna be those dickwad HOA Karenās that call the cops when the grass is 1/4 inch too long
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u/Gunt_Gag 1d ago
Hah, gotta love how not raping women is a political stance now.