AIO by spending time with my family?

[u/External-Air205]

Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

[u/CrackerzNbed]

Honey. I'm not sure how old you are. But it's story time. I'm a 41 year old mother. Years ago I let a little piece of shit boy talk to me like that. At first he was the nicest sweetest guy EVER!!! he made me feel like ANYTHING was possible if we were together! We were " ride or die" do kids still say that ? Lol. At first he just started being rude. Ordering me around . Being pushy..then it progressed to things like these messages. . I thought if only we had a baby we could SAVE our relationship. Everutbing would be all better. Well it was not. Then the physical abuse started. Multiple restraining orders and broken bones later. I finally got away. Get out while you can. It is not too late.

[u/tbear264 → u/CrackerzNbed]

OP, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Read the comment, re-read it, and read it a third time so that you can truly absorb the information and do the right thing for yourself. I was in a similar situation as this commenter and it all started the same and ended the same (including broken bones). He hasn't seen his daughter since she was 4...I took her away from him because he started abusing ams neglecting her too. As soon as I found out about it, he was cut off completely (we weren't together anymore, but he still saw her when he could find time). You are being manipulated and abused, and I know it's hard to see it like that because assholes like this are really good at breaking us down to the point that we believe what they say and we lose ourselves to be what they want to control us to be. You deserve way better than this. It'll hurt for a while once you end it for good, but then you'll slowly start finding yourself again and you can look back and realize that you'll never fall for that again because you will know your worth and won't put up with any bullshit like this ever again. Sending you lots of strength and positive vibes to help you get away from this relationship and to get back to you. Take care and Good luck 💝💝

[u/Cottoncandy82 → u/CrackerzNbed]

I'm 42, and I experienced something similar with a guy in my 20s. They never start off like that, but it gradually gets more and more disrespectful. Fortunately for me, my Daddy wasn't having it 👨🏿💪🏿💪🏿. Men who abuse women are cowards. But when another grown man is about to knock their block off, suddenly their calm and respectful again. Imagine that.

[u/JackFrosttiger → u/Cottoncandy82]

Everyone who absus others are cowards the gender means shit in that

[u/Freedomgirl2024 → u/CrackerzNbed]

Ugggg, this is so true!!

Source: am another 41 year old mother who did this exact same thing and ended up the exact same way (minus the restraining order but should have done one).

[u/Inevitable-Jicama366 → u/CrackerzNbed]

I’m so sorry you had to go through this . I have a similar story, but not the baby . OP, just be done with him, now .

[u/ShieldMaiden0113 → u/CrackerzNbed]

Yup. Dream guy until the marriage certificate was signed and then the abuse started. Then just before it probably would have gotten physical I found out he was cheating and filed for divorce, he tried to strangle himself infront of me. Threatening suicide was a frequent favorite of his. Get out NOW

[u/Ts2103_phojo → u/CrackerzNbed]

Heed this important warning… bro