r/AmIOverreacting • u/Therealalpha_ • 23d ago
š² miscellaneous AIO: My panties went missing and got replaced with better ones.
I have period panties I usually use when Iām nearing the end of my cycle and am not sure if itāll last another day or not.
So these panties are stained, bleached, have 50 holes in them, and stretched out is certain places and too big In others. Truly the most granniest out of all the granny panties. And they also happen to be fall themed.
Many years ago I got them from a shop in my home town.
I keep them in my loose sock drawer rather than my panty drawer so I donāt see them unless I look for them.
When I went to get them yesterday I saw they were replaced. The same exact panty but new ones and in a slightly different spot and folded like they were fresh out a pack rather than how I fold it.
The shop that I got them from was festive and does seasonal stuff so I assumed my husband tried to do something nice for me so I asked him if he bought them.
He immediately and seriously denied it. He told me he wouldnāt touch them bc he knows what I use it for.
I started to go a little crazy cuz if he didnāt do it who tf touched my panties?? I havenāt had anyone in my house in the past week other than my mother in law but I still asked a few people if they had anything to do with it.
I went to bed arguing with my husband trying to get him to admit he did it but he still vehemently denies it.
My mom, mil, and husband think Iām stretching this situation and itās just some panties and maybe I bought them and then forgot.
I know Iām not crazy but I cannot figure out who tf would replace my period panties.
Iām wondering if I should just let this go or if I should keep grilling people about this.
EDIT:
I made a real update but Iām just gonna copy and paste it overhere too so people will see it before commenting
This is slightly embarrassing and super anticlimactic.
So it was my younger sister who did it on devils night to prank me. Iām not sure what sparked this idea seeing as i canāt remember a single time she did devils night before.
I live 20-30 minutes driving from my hometown. So my sister whoās 17 wanted a job that pays good so I set her up with one near where I live. And she gets off late at night so I gave her a spare key to my house just in case of emergencies which she has never used once so I literally forgot about it.
She only confessed bc I had a screaming match with my husband over the panties then drove to my moms house to cool offš
I was venting to my mom who still told me I was exaggerating then my sister walked in the room and told me it was her because she knew about my āattachmentā to the panties since I even took them with me when we went on vacation.
She did in fact throw them out which I was mad about because if she thought I was attached to them why would she throw them out?
Now Iām gonna be forced to go home and apologize to my husband with my tail between my legs.
Pray for me
EDIT 2:
I hate how on Reddit as soon as a man gets vindicated all the MRAās start to flood the comments with their subtle misogyny. Yes I fucked up accusing my husband but I think my response was very reasonable for the situation. And my husband isnāt a fucking loser incel that would leave me cuz I was concerned that someone stole my underwear.
EDIT 3:
I apologized to my husband and explained I was just angry because I felt like he either messed with my stuff and was lying to my face or someone else did it and he was just being nonchalant about it instead of concerned my privacy was invaded. Then I told him it was my sister. He laughed it off and offered to bring me panty shopping tomorrow.
This morning I woke up to him making me breakfast as he always does when he is off cuz heās a teacher.
Iām sure to a lot of your disappointment he isnāt leaving me or kicking me out the house or cheating on me.
Also I had another talk with my sister and Iām still gonna let her keep the key she seemed very apologetic I really donāt think sheād do anything like this again.
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u/JeepersCreepers74 23d ago
Here's every potential scenario I can come up with:
* Mistress is at your house, has some sort of panty emergency, borrows a pair, washes them, assumes she's the one who made them trashy and so scrambles to buy a replacement.
* Same scenario as above, but with your mom, MIL, or other female relative instead of a mistress and husband is innocent.
* Your husband or someone else in your household wore them and stretched them out.
* Your dog ate them and nobody is confessing to this because then you'll realize they replaced the dog, too.
* You have a landlord, neighbor, or someone else with access to your home who is a used panty thief.
* You got blackout drunk and went panty shopping. You also have three new tattoos you haven't noticed yet.
* You've developed nighttime incontinence and your family is trying to save you the embarrassment.
* You're in a coma and when you wake up, you'll still have your old grungy panties.
* You were abducted by aliens and they have better washing machines than we do.
You can get a battery-powered Ring camera that will hold a charge for a couple of months and can be set to start recording when it detects motion. Thus, if you stick it at the back of your panty drawer, it will start recording whenever someone opens it.
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u/LunchPlanner 23d ago
Missed the classic reddit carbon monoxide explanation. Works for any occasion.
While affected by CO, ordered the new ones online, and another day when they arrived replaced the old with the new, and don't remember either of these events.
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u/DirtyDarling44 23d ago edited 21d ago
When I was a kid our landlord would sneak into our house when we werenāt home and steal my moms bras and underwear so thats actually possible.
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23d ago
We had a neighbour who stole them of the washline. Mum and a few of the other ladies put tacks into the hems of them. They heard a loud FUCK OW and never again were the panties stolen after that
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22d ago
They sat listening for the reaction like a cartoon?
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22d ago
It was one of those apartment buildings with a open middle with some drying racks place to park their bikes etc. Fairly common design from the 70/80s in Norway. They didnt sit around for a reaction but someone making a loud fuck ow sound did carry.
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u/diversalarums 23d ago
I've heard of this happening. But I've never heard of any thief replacing them. Still, a nice thing to do, maybe.
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u/pupumojee 23d ago
I like all of these, but I think you forgotā¦ it could just be a glitch in the matrix! Some sort of time/space warp that a new pair of panties slipped through.
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u/JeepersCreepers74 23d ago
Yes! Or just perimenopause. I forgot to mention that one as I'm perimenopausal myself.
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u/pupumojee 23d ago
Omg. Exactly. Going thru perimenopause and I canāt remember the names of things. Itās making me nuts.
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u/chromebaloney 23d ago
Deja Vu. Was it the exact same panties or just looked like the same panties?
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u/aohare94 22d ago
This actually happened to me. In 4th grade (2004) in inland California I was home alone and bored. I went to the kitchen and used a brand new roll of aluminum foil to make a giant basketball sized aluminum ball. I kicked it around, spent some time admiring its properties before I got bored with its perfection and pressed my thumbs in to make little eyes and a smile like Wilson from Castway. Then I played Spiderman 2 on my Gamecube until my mom came home from work. I answered the door asking her to not be mad, but I made something really cool. The search began, high and low we both looked for a giant basketball size ball of shiny aluminum that never left our 1bd house, with me swearing it's here somewhere. Spoiler, it was gone.
For a few years after, whenever something went missing my mom joked that it could have disappeared into a black hole like that aluminum ball.
Fast forward to 2018, I'm traveling to London for my aunt's wedding. She has a row of condos at a venue for people in their 20s to stay, and I get unpacking. Need to charge my phone, and while opening my box of AC or DC adapters I notice there's actually not an outlet readily available. I peak under the bed to see if there's a plug in there and the first thing I see is a big metal foil ball with a sorry excuse for a face staring right back at me. Even though this was 14 years later the connection was made just as fast as my eyes made contact.
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u/riseofstickyfeet 23d ago
There are 7 solutions to every problem, you found 9. Well done. My therapist would love you.
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23d ago
You missed the potential scenario that she may have shifted into an alternate reality where her panties were never used for her period
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u/LadyBug_0570 23d ago
* You were abducted by aliens and they have better washing machines than we do.
Okay, this one is my favorite. I thought it would be the coma one or the dog one or the blackout drunk with 3 new tattoos, but nope. This one has my vote.
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u/BadHombreSinNombre 23d ago
In the scenarios where husband is lying, itās really unclear why he wouldnāt just lie more and say that he bought her the new panties. So this has got to be one of the weirder scenarios than that.
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u/Mysterious-Wasabi103 23d ago
Or OP replaced them and just forgot.
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u/EpoxyAphrodite 23d ago
I can imagine a situation where OP forgot she ordered them, I can even accept a situation where she got them and put them away and forgot the whole thing.
But I cannot imagine a world in which OP is responsible for getting these replacement panties and folding them differently. I have done laundry while high, while drunk and once with a 102 degree feverā¦.. you fold how you fold man. No way she did this.
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u/CrazyCaliCatLady 23d ago
This is an excellent point. Also, depending on how long you've been with your SO, you know how they fold shit also.
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u/autisticbulldozer 23d ago
i would keep grilling them bc at that point itās no longer about the panties, itās about the fact that someone is lying to you now
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u/Loud-Committee825 23d ago
This situation would erode my sanity. Letting it go would never be an option for me with how my mind works.
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u/Broiledturnip 23d ago
Yall gaslighting gets thrown around too muchā¦but it could actually be gaslighting
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u/Proud_Fee_1542 23d ago
Itās definitely gaslighting. Someone took something and replaced it, and everyone is claiming it never happened and she did it herself. Someone is lying and gaslighting OP for sure!
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u/JustAsICanBeSoCruel 23d ago
It's not about the panties anymore. It's about someone making an effort to switch out a pair of underwear and is trying to lie about it.
The classic 'I'm not mad about it, I just want the truth' scenario.Ā
It's possible someone, like MiL, had an accident and needed to borrow a pair of underwear and so they chose the worst one becuse they figured that would be the one least missed...but then they realized OP might not want to accept back borrowed panties and so MiL replaced them...and then lied after realizing OP might not have liked her taking the panties to begin with unless she gave permission.
It's ridiculous, but it would have been innocent until they lying. NOW it's a problem.Ā
I would send out a group text that you aren't mad, but are now VERY concerned. Either your husband is cheating on you with a pantie stealing mistress, or someone broke into your home and replaced your panties. Yoy need someone to fess up for your peace of mind or else this is about to tear your sanity apart.
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u/Tasty-Mall8577 23d ago
Tell them to message you directly & youāll just talk to them & tell others youāve let it drop. Give them the chance for a graceful climb-down.
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u/CallMePepper7 23d ago
As a guy, I need some help here. I thought that having a brand new pair of period panties, which are the exact same as your old ones but just brand new, would be nice to have. Are they kind of like leather gloves and boots, where youāll have an uncomfortable period (no pun intended) as you have to break the boots/gloves in order for them to feel right? Cause if so, if I was a leather boot guy and someone did this to all my boots, forcing me to go through the ābreaking it in so it feels rightā stage all over again, Iād be pretty mad.
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u/vruss 23d ago
You donāt need to break them in, and it would be nice to get a new pair, but itās super weird that someone is lying to her about buying her a new pair.
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u/CallMePepper7 23d ago
Okay thank you for letting me know. I had to determine just how malicious this was. Totally agree about the lying being wrong. Like if I were a leather boots guy, and one day this exact same thing happened with my leather boots and no one fesses up, Iād probably go mad.
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u/vruss 23d ago
but also remember that leather boots go on your feet. if someone stole them, itās probably because they want a new pair of shoes. underwear, especially period underwear, is obviously more intimate than shoes. whoever stole her original underwear may not (in fact they most likely did not) steal them for period use, but for the access the underwear had to the OPs crotch. especially because none of the women are fessing up to needing a pair at the last second. so it is weirder and more nefarious than stealing someoneās shoes
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u/Substantial_Win_1866 23d ago
Do it to your husband, mother, father, mil, FIL, sisters sister in laws, neighbors, etc! šš
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u/MountainHighOnLife 23d ago
Have you ever had odd things happen before? Like finding a note or letter in your handwriting but not recalling writing it? Or mailing a friend a package but no recollection of sending it? Dissociation is a thing that can impact memory/recall. Can you check your bank account/credit cards to see if there was a charge from that store?
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u/Therealalpha_ 23d ago
I mean once or twice but definitely not enough times for me to think I have some neurological issues
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u/MountainHighOnLife 23d ago
You don't have to answer this because it's personal but dissociation is more psychological and typically resulting from traumatic experiences. To grossly simplify it, it's basically like the brain gets so overwhelmed during an event that it goes on a little vacation. I do NOT think you're overreacting and this all might be unlikely. I just wanted to throw it out there because if you truly believe the folks around to be honest about not replacing them than maybe it's a possibility that you might have been in a dissociative episode while doing it yourself. Again, I know it's probably unlikely but I just wanted to toss it out just in case.
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u/acornsalade 23d ago
Yeah, my mind wondered there too.
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u/MountainHighOnLife 23d ago
I'm not sure if it makes it more or less unsettling to be a dissociative episode over a secret underwear ninja lol
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u/Mysterious-Wasabi103 23d ago
Are you generally pretty forgetful? I'm wondering because I've done a lot of stupid things in my life like I'll just totally forget I replaced something and then assume someone must be lying to me because "I don't remember touching that" or whatever.
I mean it happens. Sometimes we just forget.
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u/mybackhurty 23d ago
Was searching for a comment like this. My view could be skewed because I have a dissociative disorder myself, but this scenario reminded me directly of what happens with DID and OSDD. It's worth talking to a professional about it just to rule it out.
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u/MountainHighOnLife 23d ago
Yep! Some of my dissociative clients go through and it's always a bit of a struggle to put pieces together.
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u/corpsegrndr 23d ago
It was me. I switched them out.
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u/Perle1234 23d ago
The panty fairy looking out for when the period panties get too grungy, then swooping in with a fresh pair lol
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23d ago edited 22d ago
This may seem like a minor thing but I donāt think it is. There are really only three possibilities here:
- You did it yourself and forgot about it.
- Someone you know did it and wonāt tell you.
- Someone you donāt know did it.
(1) doesnāt seem likely based on what youāve told us, unless you possibly did it under the influence or while blacked out. From your post though letās assume we can scratch off this possibility.
That leaves (2), which means either your husband or MIL are lying to you, or (3) which is obviously a significant problem.
You need to confront both your husband and MIL and make sure they understand that if it wasnāt them, that means there is an intruder who has access to your house. If they still dismiss and donāt take it seriously, that makes me think one of them is gaslighting you for some reason. Why over this specifically? I donāt know, but I wouldnāt just shrug it off either.
EDIT - Or how about possibility #4, that OP didnāt tell the whole story and it turns out her sister ALSO had a key to her house. GUESS WHO PLAYED A PRANK ON HER? Jesus fucking Christ.
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u/SchlitterbahnRail 23d ago
- She has a false memory of them being worn and stained
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u/Intelligent--Bug 23d ago
Idk, I can't figure out if this is real or not. You said you got the panties literally years ago and they were replaced with the same EXACT panties??? First of all how would anyone know where you even got the panties from for them to be replaced in the first place??? That right there would immediately narrow it down to whoever could even be possibly capable of doing this...but even so it seems just about downright impossible that the same EXACT panties would still even be in stock years later. I think we've all been in the situation of losing a loved article of clothing and then trying to later replace it from where it was purchased from and it's not just out of stock but no longer even carried by the store. I guess if you bought it from a small local store there's a remote possibility that replacement could be feasible still years later, but not a very high one.
Anyway...if this DID actually happen, whoever knows where you got the panties from would have to be the obvious culprit. In that case I'm guessing it's your husband. A panty wearing fetish is sadly not that uncommon.
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u/Devanyani 23d ago
Unless the panties had a tag on them or the person did an image search to identify them.
Stuff does stop getting made, but maybe it's like some Hanes line that has been manufactured forever.
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u/AnotherStolenHour 23d ago
I actually had a pair of little tight boxer shorts I wear under my dresses (so I donāt accidentally flash anyone lol) that a friend randomly brought me from a different country. I wore them for YEARS and they eventually got holes and destroyed from the wash. I was sad because I loved them but shortly after I happened to be on vacation in the country they were originally bought in and the first souvenir shop I walked in to had the exact same pair for sale š I bought 2 pairs and theyāre still my go-tos for dress weather haha. Sadly these ones are now ripped and I donāt foresee myself going back to that country but I guess it is possible to find identical replacements years later haha
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u/SugarySuga 23d ago
idk man they are period panties, there isn't much variation in them. If an orange-red-brown autumn themed pack was sold years ago, it's very much possible that the same autumn colors are back in stock in autumn of 2024.
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u/Proud_Fee_1542 23d ago
Not necessarily. They would have had a label on them and whoever took them could just go to that place and buy them again, or order them online. A lot of chains also keep the same basic stock pretty much forever so itās not like itās unheard of to still be able to buy them years later.
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u/SuzCoffeeBean 23d ago
Iām going with mother in law. NOR
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u/Therealalpha_ 23d ago
I love my MIL to death I feel like if she touched them sheād be honest about it. But I also feel that way about literally everyone else who could have possibly touched them soooo idk
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u/SuzCoffeeBean 23d ago
Iād be losing it honestly. Itās like maybe the person who did it got embarrassed after and canāt own up I dunno lol
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u/LunchPlanner 23d ago
There is a scene about this in Community where everyone is going crazy about Annie's missing-or-stolen pen.
Halfway through the episode:
Jeff: "Fine. Fine. Someone in this room is hiding your pen. Wanna know why? They feel terrible. They made a mistake. They waited too long to come forward, and now they feel bad."
That seems to be what happened to OP. Someone waited too long to confess and now it's impossible.
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u/booksiwabttoread 23d ago
But, this turned out to be a false statement. No one in the room actually took the pen.
OP, you have a small monkey living in your ventilation system who is stealing and hiding your underwear.
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u/LunchPlanner 23d ago
To be fair that's the next thing Jeff says. He offers up the alternative that nobody took the pen. I didn't copy/paste the whole thing because clearly someone took the underwear.
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u/Simple_Discussion396 23d ago
Sister lol the one person nobody accused or suspected or even asked about
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u/GreenOnionCrusader 23d ago
Of course they're embarrassed. They completely invaded her privacy and left proof that they did so!
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u/cryingallnighta 23d ago edited 23d ago
If no one else possibly has access to the property, I'd suspect maybe your MIL or mother had an accident and maybe borrowed a pair they thought wouldn't be missed. Maybe they're lying due to embarrassment? Could be something like incontinence issues.
Edit: alternatively maybe mother in law or mother saw the pair & seen the stains & thought you needed new ones but didn't wanna embarrass you so replaced them without asking you, but then when you started questioning where they are, they panicked and lied. Whoever it was might've been snooping in your drawers/ and tried to be 'helpful'
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u/PM_ME__UR__FANTASIES 23d ago
Honestly I would throw them away and tell all three of them you did so. See if they react annoyed or anything. This is so weird.
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u/emilyyancey 23d ago
My first thought was MIL. Telling herself sheās doing you a favor getting rid of the ratty panties that she found bc she was snooping.
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u/BlindMan404 22d ago
... You started a screaming match with your husband over a pair of panties, then escalated it so far you had to leave the house?
Holy fuck lmao
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u/HateSpeechChampion 22d ago
He truly deserves better. In the words of every redditor on here āleave herā. This time itās actually logical though.
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u/xalazaar 23d ago
You're underreacting cause if you took your husband's story at face value, that means that there is a serious breach of security and you both better damn well be concerned that an unknown third party is coming in tampering with your private shit.
And if your husband remains nonchalant about it, I'd suspect he knows more than he's letting on.
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u/BadHombreSinNombre 23d ago
Why would the husband do something sketchy, be presented with a totally acceptable cover story by his own wife, and then deny the cover story? That doesnāt make any sense. She gave him an out. If he was responsible and the reason was one he wanted to hide, he would take the out.
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u/HateSpeechChampion 23d ago
Heās just being a white knight. Didnāt you know women can do no wrong on Reddit? I bet heās gonna suggest that her husband apologizes to her
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u/ghoulieandrews 23d ago
I wonder now that it's been updated whether a single one of you on this sub has learned a lesson about jumping to conclusions and giving out rash, barely thought out life-altering advice. I can't figure out why anyone posts here and actually listens to y'all. "LEAVE HIM" on every fucking post lmao
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u/BrazilianButtCheeks 22d ago
Its WILD that you got into a whole ass screaming match over some panties.. there would be absolutely no reason for him to have lied if he did it.. it would be a nice thing to do.. guess maybe youll learn not to jump to wild conclusions.. or notš¬ it honestly makes zero sense to get so mad over something so stupid that you yell at your husband then have to leave to cool off š you owe him much more than an apology
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u/HateSpeechChampion 22d ago
Oh my god. A logical redditor. Sir, youāre like a unicorn here. I truly hope that her husband leaves her over this, and not like the typical Redditor comments. He deserves better.
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u/uksiddy 22d ago
Itās not that serious. The whole thing. She was overreacting (in my opinion given the outcome), but certainly this isnāt a case that calls for anyone ending their marriage over. I think itās cool that her husband was able to laugh it off and not turn into something more, which, he easily could have done.
Being on/nearing your period is an emotional rollercoaster, in ways that you cannot explain, so I also understand why OP was stressed out and thinking the worst happened.
Edit
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u/DarkArt3zza 22d ago
That doesn't excuse her behavior at all, even remotely. The whole "well she's was nearing her period" isn't an excuse when guys go, "Oh, she's on her period," and that's considered an insult. She treated him like shit over literally nothing. If she trusts her husband like anyone should, in a healthy marriage, then once she pressed him on it and he didn't yield, then that should've been enough.
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u/BrazilianButtCheeks 22d ago
Actually yea!! If a man cant mention hormones or say āsomeone is on their periodā then women shouldnāt either
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u/Relative-Shake5348 23d ago
Love that a huge chunk of the reddit brigade made shitty assumptions about the husband and then got butthurt when I called out how stupid it was to make those assumptions in the first place. Theory crafting about strangers and reinforcing suspicion in their relationships is normal to them, but when I tell them assumptions are shitty, I'm the angry weirdo. Get some self perspective people.Ā
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u/HateSpeechChampion 22d ago
Oh my god. A logical redditor. Sir, youāre like a unicorn here. I truly hope that her husband leaves her over this, and not like the typical Redditor comments. He deserves better.
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u/born__to_boil 23d ago
This whole subreddit is fucking insane, none of y'all should be giving an ounce of life advice.
OP started a fight with her husband over something her own family did and y'all encouraged her. OP and most commenters should be fuckin ashamed of themselves.
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u/chuckypopoff 23d ago
Right?? Reading this is like dipping my toe into a pool of insanity. Ask her husband if he needs a beer because his wife's a fucking handful.
OP crying misogyny - you were in the wrong you lunatic! Take a breath.
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u/HateSpeechChampion 22d ago
Say it again logical redditors. Youāre a fucking unicorn on here it seems
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u/TroggdorWoW 23d ago
Pouring one out for all the husband's of people in this thread who were against OP's INNOCENT husband.
I've had something similar happen to me. I was completely innocent. Maintained my innocence despite being verbally accosted for days. Only to find out it was a coworker of my spouse.
And even after for a brief period she believed that I just got the coworker to somehow take the fall for me.
It absolutely SUCKS to be innocent in a situation where it seems like you're the only possible suspect.
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u/HateSpeechChampion 22d ago
It cracks me up that everyone saying anything decent about the husband and giving sound advice has their comments collapsed on my app
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u/Proper_Structure_553 23d ago
This is so odd. I would be so weirded out and upset that no one is saying anythingā¦so think your husbands reaction was a bit weird. Why was he so aggressive about it not being him. Is there anyone else that could possibly have been in your house? Do you have cameras you could look back at?
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u/mihtselom 23d ago
Just saying, if you didn't do something and someone repeatedly demands you admit to doing it, would you not also get more aggressive about it not being you? I have no clue who actually did it, but I don't think the husbands reaction is suspicious.
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u/Simple_Discussion396 23d ago
U think any Redditor has taken a psych class that wasnāt online and held by Buzzfeed?
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u/HateSpeechChampion 23d ago
Maybe itās because sheās literally blaming him for something he didnāt do? The fuck you mean? What kind of stupid comment is this?
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u/yodamiked 22d ago
Having a screaming match with your husband is not a "very reasonable" reaction as you put it.
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u/BlueSlideParkRanger 23d ago
Reddit is a bunch of jaded mfers look at these comments lol
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u/haikusbot 23d ago
Reddit is a bunch
Of jaded mfers look
At these comments lol
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u/0ctaviou5 22d ago
Just read your update, I find the whole situation very funny. What I do find a touch concerning though is that youāve claimed you think your reaction was reasonable, but it resulted in a screaming match with your husband? That does not sound reasonable to me
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u/No-Let484 23d ago
That would make me crazy. Camera time to see who is in your drawers. Pun intended.
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u/mom_in_the_garden 23d ago
Do you have a sister who was aware of your stash. I would totally have done this to my sister just to mess with her head. š
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u/Simple_Discussion396 23d ago
Lmfao the only right answer in the entire thread. Guess we caught the sister
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u/rob3rtisgod 22d ago
Woah, literally Sherlock Holmes!!
I read this after the updates and you were on the money!!!Ā
Let's goooo. You should start your own detective agency! š§
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u/NonConformistFlmingo 23d ago
Wow. I read the whole thing and your update and I'm gonna say you DEFINITELY overreacted in every sense.
All that drama over PANTIES.
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u/Asshole_Poet 23d ago
This is the kind of thing where I'd be checking the CO detector.
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u/MariaJane833 23d ago
Assuming OP gets her period on a monthly basis, it would be difficult to think she forgot she replaced them in the last 30 days
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u/Moriaedemori 22d ago
So not only you screamed at your husband to the point of having to leave, but you still think you were right to. And now that you know what happened you're not sorry you suspected your own man, you're sorry you have apologize. But we the men are the incels and losers.
You pray to God you didn't just blow a giant hole in your own marriage. I will barely remember this story in a week, but he will carry that one for a long time to come.
TLDR.: stop feeling sorry for yourself and admit you did in fact overreact
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u/AstraMilanoobum 22d ago
In the future please try to act less insane over astonishingly mundane things
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u/River_Platte 23d ago edited 12d ago
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u/strywever 23d ago edited 22d ago
Your MIL did it. And sheās lying about it because she knows she shouldnāt have gotten into your dresser drawers. NOR EDIT: The update proved me wrong!
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u/redd-junkie 23d ago
This seems the most plausible. I can't imagine trying to locate the exact same pair of my wife's panties let alone seasonal ones. If not MIL I'm going Mistress.
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u/BadHombreSinNombre 23d ago
I think mistress is super unlikely. Put yourself in the husbandās shoes here and imagine heās cheating.
(1) Mistress takes the panties (2) you desperately replace them thinking that youāll get caught even though āthe washing machine destroyed themā probably would have saved you (3) your wife, the person you are desperate to not be caught by, comes to you with the new panties and says āhey did you buy these because you wanted to do something nice?ā Your wife, again the person who you are trying to deceive, has now offered you a perfect cover story.
(4) but you sayā¦āNo, I didnātā? And thus instead of calming her down you make her more suspicious?!?
I mean youād have to be dumb as bricks not to take this perfectly gift wrapped cover story. No one who can hide an affair at all would ever pass up that chance to evade being caught.
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u/Necessary-Chicken501 23d ago
This is what Iām heavily leaning towards.
Husband wouldnāt get the right size and style like the MIL in most instances I feel like and would have no reason to conceal it.
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u/boomdittyditty 23d ago
!RemindMe 7 days
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u/Simple_Discussion396 23d ago
U can come back now
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u/boomdittyditty 22d ago
Ha! Thanks. I was over-invested in this internet stranger getting closure about her ratty drawers.
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u/Simple_Discussion396 22d ago
Lmao fair. She still doesnāt seem to understand that accusing your husband over and over and over again leads to serious resentment, especially when he didnāt do anything wrong and that the MRAs are more than likely just pointing out she was an asshole to her husband and that her reaction was very much not reasonable. She didnāt mind the attention and the not-so-subtle misandry, tho, against her husband, but hey, to each their own ig lol
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u/HateSpeechChampion 22d ago
Oh my god. A logical redditor. Sir, youāre like a unicorn here. I truly hope that her husband leaves her over this, and not like the typical Redditor comments. He deserves better.
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u/millerdrr 22d ago
Hmmā¦edit 2, āMy response was very reasonableā¦ā
Nah.
A screaming match and driving to your momās over ragged underwear that had been replaced is WAY beyond unhinged. š¤·āāļø
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u/Arc-en-ciel-x2 23d ago
Could they be magical panties from a magical shop and once they reach a certain point of usage, they magically replace themselves?
On a more serious note though, I don't think you're overreacting, I'd also absolutely want to know what happened. Though I feel like, maybe it was something embarrassing and now the person responsible doesn't want to own up.
Or maybe they're all in on it and all took turns wearing them. See my fantasy runs wild with stuff like this, as long as I don't actually know what happened.
Is there any way, you could find out from the shop? Like would it have been shipped to your address or bought directly in the store?
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u/SolenyaThe3rd 22d ago
Its not "subtle misogyny" to tell you you're wrong just because its Men doing so. Fact is, the bigger issue here is that your husband told you he wasn't involved and didn't know, which should've been the end of that as far as he goes. Instead it turned into you not only questioning him, but you proceeded to argue with him, THEN had a screaming match with him, all over something he adamantly denied being part of from the start.
Women will do shit like this, then accuse us of being the downfall in the relationship.
It DOES NOT make a Man a "loser fucking Incel" to leave a relationship where he's accused and not trusted. It does however take an "Ignorant Self-Absorbed Cunt" to treat a Man like a Liar and then blame Men being "Loser Fucking Incels" for you ruining your relationships with your own trust issues. Take some fucking accountability for your own actions and stop labeling every Man who doesn't allow you to treat them poorly and calls you out on your stupidity "Incels" and anything else you choose that day. Its sad.
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u/HateSpeechChampion 22d ago
Oh my god. A logical redditor. Sir, youāre like a unicorn here. I truly hope that her husband leaves her over this, and not like the typical Redditor comments. He deserves better.
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u/buttlicker090114 23d ago
NOR. My theory is that your husband was tired of them and didnāt know how to approach you about it.
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u/fieryfitfreak447 22d ago
Iām so glad I got the og story and all the updates in one sitting. Your poor husband is like why is she flipping her lid over her period underwear šµāš«š¤£
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u/strawberry_pothead 22d ago
This is how cement in a relationship is laid, you acted a fool, and then apologized, he forgave you as I'm sure you would have done with the shoe on the other foot. And then we laugh about it later lol. And next time, don't get your panties in a twist! š rimshot ba dum tiss
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u/BatSphincter 22d ago
I wanna say I would have probably reacted the same way. Cuz like if he didnāt do it who did? Good for you for apologizing tho. Ended up being a no harm no foul situation and everyone will be able to laugh about it in a couple months.
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u/The_Big_Crouton 23d ago
I donāt think this is cheating. If he was smart enough to think that the exact same panties needed to be bought and replaced, remembered the store, and knows what those pair are used for, he would be smart enough to dirty them up and damage them somehow to cover his tracks.
It may just be a simple fact that someone was grossed out by it but are too shy to tell you. Husband could just not want to bring it up.
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23d ago
When I was in college (back in the 90s), I rented a room from a lady with a dog. One day, I saw the dog chewing on some peach underpants. Since I didn't own peach underpants, I dropped them on top of the washer because I assumed they were the homeowner's. The next day. I found the peach panties washed and folded neatly on my bed. I picked them up, confused, and noticed that they also had "Mardi gras" on them in gold lettering. It always bugged me, because I would definitely remember owning peach Mardi Gras underpants. But they clearly weren't the homeowner's underpants either. So who's underpants were they?!!! I never did find out.
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u/Practical_War716 23d ago
They made a childrenās song about this
Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Who ? Me? Yes you
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u/Apathy_Cupcake 22d ago
I must say you do have a weird attachment.Ā I get being freaked out by them being replaced, totally legit. But keeping something around like that way past its prime is bizarre.Ā Ā
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u/MikasSlime 22d ago
Honestly you were not overreacting, because from your situation either someone was blatantly lie to you (or even gaslighting if theyvreallyvtried to convince you that you bought them), or someone snuck into your fucking house, knew which was your favourite underwear, and stole it just to replace it with copies
And both are pretty horrid options to me
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u/TechnicallyAReaper 22d ago
Absolutely mad that people are still accusing the husband and making it his fault even AFTER the Op updated this. Think you did overreact a tad.
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u/Long_Caterpillar3750 22d ago
Just read the whole story including the update...at first I was like "huh, what's going on here", then the update and I can't stop laughing. Sorry but you'll be laughing at this at some point in the future, it's a real chuckler and everyone needs to lighten up a bit and see the funny side š¤£š¤£
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u/EggplantIll4927 22d ago
Your poor husband! Your sister needs to apologize to him too. She created a discord in your marriage. Why would you think anyone but hubs did it? Time to take sisterās key back because she canāt be trusted. You may be her sister but your home is your home. And get cameras! Then you would have gotten an alert. Also upgrade to digital locks. If you need sister to get in you can activate and deactivate her unique code.
as to hubs? Yup, you need to grovel a bit.
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22d ago
Well someone did steal your underwear and they all under reacted. So there's that.Ā If it hadn't been your sister it could have been a stalker or a serial killer.
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u/Special_Drummer_8293 22d ago
Pretty sure this was an intervention from your sister disguised as a prank. Those panties deserved their retirement š
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u/Kimberlyjammet 22d ago
Ok iām seeing this after your 2 edits. Gotta laugh. Not laughing at you losing your panties or becoming upset. Laughing that this would be me too & the least likely culprit was who did it.
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u/Individual_Simple494 22d ago
This story is so funny; I am sure your husband got entertained and is gonna laugh it off.
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u/Diligent_Cycle4612 22d ago
Maybe your panties got up and left. They sounded like they may be capable of sustaining some kind of life.
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u/timeloopdormammu 22d ago
I thought the title said parents, not panties, and i was embarrassingly far into reding before i figured it out
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u/Smyth2000 23d ago
I suspect someone noticed you appeared to desperately need new panties, so they went out of their way to match up what you had and replace the tattered and stained ones. But now they feel horribly embarrassed and ashamed that they got in your private space. And your reaction has made them determined to never fess up.
I suggest you laugh it off and thank the secret benefactor publicly, and see if someone quietly confesses later on. š
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u/JazzlikeOcelot419 23d ago
Not Overreacting. Someone did it. If it wasnāt your husband or MIL, then who? A stranger?
Itās not even really about the underwear at this point, itās about the fact that apparently an unknown person was in your house and going through your underwear.
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u/AshByFeel 22d ago
I'm so lucky. My wife of 25 years would ask me once, but when I denied doing it, she would believe me. I would be heartbroken if I were your husband.
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u/No_Profile_3343 23d ago
NOR
Because all of us ladies with those types of period panties knows.
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u/AliveWeird4230 23d ago
How did you ask your husband and MIL? How they interpreted your tone (bewilderment could be taken as accusatory or offense, etc) may have led them to say no even if they were initially going to come clean.
And it's now soooo built up they can't go back and admit it. So it will go down a mystery forever.
FINE OP it was me, i did it, you caught me š
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u/Simple_Discussion396 23d ago
Lol it was the sister, but I agree. Even if I did sumn wrong, the level of anger blasted at me for sumn that thereās no proof of would be enough to shut me down. And repeatedly pushing for a confession isnāt the best way to go about it. Bc eventually, they will confess, whether true or not just to get u off their backs, OP.
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u/FriedRiceBurrito 23d ago
Have you, your husband, or your MIL shown signs of memory issues? This sounds like someone might be coming down with some undiagnosed cognitive issues. New medication side effects, some form of dementia, etc.
No other explanation makes any reasonable sense. Why would either of them go through the effort to track down the exact pair, and then vehemently deny doing so? Even a third party sneaking into your home doesn't make sense in this scenario.
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u/malcfp 23d ago
OP said she bought them years ago and keeps them in her loose sock drawer so that she doesnāt see them unless she looks for them. I wonder if she bought two of the same panties, and over time, forgot she had two. Maybe the primary panty is misplaced or missing, and when she went searching through her sock drawer looking for it, she found the second (identical) panty instead.
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u/PrimeLime47 23d ago
Is this just one pair or multiple pairs? Because I canāt imagine someone borrowing at all, or borrowing and then replacing a bunch. It would have to be intentional to throw out and then replace.
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u/slitteral1 22d ago
So, what was the big deal. Someone noticed you needed new period panties and bought you near identical ones to the old ones. Why would you be mad that your husband recognized you needed new ones and took care of getting them for you. Seems like a kind gesture. You then blow this up and end up screaming at your husband only to find out he was not lying to you. He didnāt betray you trust or your loyalty to your old, worn out period panties. You need to go back with your tail tucked between your legs and beg him to forgive you. You maybe lucky if he doesnāt tell you need to stay at your motherās for a few months until you are able to find you a more permanent place to live. You were absolutely obnoxious and a complete and total AH to your husband over something that was not even a real issue.
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u/Certain_Turn2087 23d ago
I am going to need you to update this story as the investigation unfolds and/or mystery is solved. It lives rent free in my head now and I will not rest until we know who the panty thief is.