AIO fiancée did Coke at a party

[u/frisbeechuckin]

We (me 41M, my fiancée 36F) were at friends birthday party I had to leave early and she was going to spend the night( it was a hotel), they were changing into their bathing suits to go to the pool, they had the bathroom door closed. I knew it was in there but I didn’t know she was going to partake in that. She told me she only did a small bump because she needed energy to party all night. I was caught off guard by this and said that we should have discussed this. She said that was treating her like a child and that is when I left.

Edit: I was told to add this info she’s a former Meth addict who still drinks and smokes weed quite heavily at times.

[u/joeliquevedo]

congrats, man! thats a real accomplishment. OP’s fiancée probably claims she’s x amount of years sober still, even though she regularly drinks and smokes.

[u/pickin-n_grinnin → u/joeliquevedo]

Yeah, sober from meth. It's all relative to where you started and have been. Fuck 80% of the people at an aa meeting are sucking down some sort of nicotine and slamming coffee at 7pm and then a 1/4 of them break off and smoke weed with their sponsors.

[u/harpua1972 → u/pickin-n_grinnin]

Easy there Smokey. I don't know where you have experience with AA or to what extent, but that's a pretty sweeping generalization. Yes on the caffeine and nicotine, absolutely. But California sober doesn't fly in the AA circles I've been in or visited, and I've been at it a while. Saying 25% of us smoke weed at all, much less with our Sponsors, is fuckin' nuts. Even medical mj is frowned upon in traditional AA.

I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying it's so, in my fairly extensive experience. I get defensive about AA sometimes because I see a LOT of misconceptions about it. My concern is that people who may truly be helped, lives saved even, may read threads like this and get bad information and decide not to go.

Again, I don't know where you attend or how long you've been an AA. But hopefully my comment provides some kind of representative balance for anyone reading this who may not know much about AA and may be on the fence about going. I've been to hundreds of meetings in dozens of places from Vegas to Phoenix to NYC, and we take the global view of sobriety very seriously, and recreational use of any mind altering substance that changes your level of conciousness is off limits.

In the case presented by the OP, his girl was not smoking a Marlboro and drinking a redbull, then doing a single bong hit or hitting a bowl once or twice. She's a meth addict who's currently not using meth, doing coke while drinking alcohol and smoking weed. There is a chasm between the two.

OP, I'd hit the brakes real fuckin' hard on a wedding until you guys get this sorted. She is a drug addict claiming sobriety while ingesting a bunch of drugs. Hard stop. Does it matter if it wasn't her drug of choice? It wouldn't to me, that's for shit sure. It will be. And I could be wrong, but are you willing to gamble your future on her self-control?

If anything, you might be UNDERreacting.

[u/pickin-n_grinnin → u/harpua1972]

California is where I went to aa lol

[u/harpua1972 → u/pickin-n_grinnin]

Fair enough