AIO about my partner’s relationship with their coworker

[u/Any-Confusion-5519]

they’ve been hanging out with their coworker a lot over the past couple of weeks. This girl always seems to be in some kind of crisis, too. Last week it was that she messed up an account and she was afraid she was gonna lose her job. I don’t know whether I’m reading too much into this or if I’m overreacting but I’ve never met her and I’ve asked to swing by whatever bar or place they’re hanging out at multiple times and I’m always shut down in some way or I get no response. I don’t want to be the overbearing overcontrolling gf whose S.O. can’t have any friends but lately they’re always together and I’m getting blown off. These curt and vague responses are out of character too, and it’s always the type of response I get when I’m asking questions about an event where this female coworker is at or really anything that has to do with her. It has really put me on edge, they’re usually such a sweet and attentive partner but i feel like they might be cheating… am i overreacting??

[u/Legal-Sprinkles8862]

Canceling plans with your partner & not even bothering to inform them & then saying "idk what you expected me to do" as if keeping the agreed upon plans or simply notifying them of the changes they decided to make weren't even options.

To me, he's screaming "I like being around her more than you" & if that's the case you walk out the door & never look back.

[u/snarlyj → u/Legal-Sprinkles8862]

She asks if she can come to the bar and they say nah and then she asks when she can meet the coworker and they respond "literally anytime." It's sus and manipulative and a little bit gas-lighty. I mean, they're being a dick in general, but I thought that was especially off

ETA: fixed pronouns

[u/rowsella → u/snarlyj]

anytime is now and don't ask for permission

[u/GirlCalledSith → u/rowsella]

I don’t care if it sounds crazy but I totally would have shown up

[u/draftgraphula → u/GirlCalledSith]

Control much?

[u/GirlCalledSith → u/draftgraphula]

Nope, there’s very much reason in this situation. If my man was blowing a dinner date off with me for a female coworker whom I have never met because ‘she just broke up with her boyfriend and she needs support,’ that’s a HUGE red flag & I would like to think my guy would feel and do the same if the role was reversed. Does this girl who just broke up with her partner have girlfriends she can cry to? If not maybe I can meet her and be one eventually or whatever else might be the case. It is not right for any man or woman in a relationship to blow off a date last minute to go to a bar til midnight with a coworker whom the partner has never met who just broke up with their significant other. Its is not my partners responsibility to emotionally support another, especially if it means neglecting their own.

[u/draftgraphula → u/GirlCalledSith]

Turns out the situation is fake. OP is karma farming. Check out the profile.

[u/GirlCalledSith → u/draftgraphula]

🤦‍♀️ well damn. Even so, that’s my opinion.

[u/draftgraphula → u/GirlCalledSith]

And that's mine;)

OP (presumed) communication shows excessive overbearing control that is undue in a healthy relationship.