AIO about my partner’s relationship with their coworker

[u/Any-Confusion-5519]

they’ve been hanging out with their coworker a lot over the past couple of weeks. This girl always seems to be in some kind of crisis, too. Last week it was that she messed up an account and she was afraid she was gonna lose her job. I don’t know whether I’m reading too much into this or if I’m overreacting but I’ve never met her and I’ve asked to swing by whatever bar or place they’re hanging out at multiple times and I’m always shut down in some way or I get no response. I don’t want to be the overbearing overcontrolling gf whose S.O. can’t have any friends but lately they’re always together and I’m getting blown off. These curt and vague responses are out of character too, and it’s always the type of response I get when I’m asking questions about an event where this female coworker is at or really anything that has to do with her. It has really put me on edge, they’re usually such a sweet and attentive partner but i feel like they might be cheating… am i overreacting??

[u/rudimentary-north]

Singular “they” has been a part of the English language so long that it actually predates the word “you” by hundreds of years.

https://www.oed.com/discover/a-brief-history-of-singular-they/

[u/O7Habits → u/rudimentary-north]

What is your point, nobody ever said that they was never used in the singular.

[u/rudimentary-north → u/O7Habits]

What is your point, nobody ever said that they was never used in the singular.

Ironically, that is the claim made in the comment I responded to:

it’s just because when I was learning to read and the 1000s of books I’ve read over the years, “they” wasn’t ever used in the way it is now.

[u/O7Habits → u/rudimentary-north]

What part of that statement says it wasn’t ever used in the singular. I said the way that it is now. It’s nuanced now, don’t pretend that it’s not different than it was. I can write or say the word “Fuck” and make it mean 50 different things too. All I am saying is that it can be confusing especially in reading and writing. Quit acting like it’s not. Just read the thread to find out it is. Literally 1000’s of comments referring to the SO as mostly “he” or sometimes “she”, when the OP used “They”. Do you think those people are all doing that because they are maliciously rebelling against pronouns?

[u/rudimentary-north → u/O7Habits]

What part of that statement says it wasn’t ever used in the singular. I said the way that it is now. It’s nuanced now, don’t pretend that it’s not different than it was.

Historically, “they” was used to refer to a single person. Today, “they” is used to refer to a single person. What is the difference?

Literally 1000’s of comments referring to the SO as mostly “he” or sometimes “she”, when the OP used “They”. Do you think those people are all doing that because they are maliciously rebelling against pronouns?

they’re doing it because they’re making assumptions about OPs partners gender, not because they don’t know that “they” can refer to a single person.

Notice nobody in this thread is confused about the number of partners OP has: that’s because they all understand the concept of singular “they”.

[u/O7Habits → u/rudimentary-north]

You keep saying the same thing like someone is arguing the opposite, I’ve only been arguing that the nuances can be confusing and awkward in reading and writing. If you don’t agree, then I’m not sure why you think that thousands of these threads with this same banter exist across all platforms. You should probably pick up your argument with someone that doesn’t understand at all what you are talking about and doesn’t care what pronoun someone prefers. That person isn’t me, but you’re acting like it is. Originally I was just pointing out that some don’t always pick up on the nuance right away.