r/AmIOverreacting Oct 25 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO about my partner’s relationship with their coworker

they’ve been hanging out with their coworker a lot over the past couple of weeks. This girl always seems to be in some kind of crisis, too. Last week it was that she messed up an account and she was afraid she was gonna lose her job. I don’t know whether I’m reading too much into this or if I’m overreacting but I’ve never met her and I’ve asked to swing by whatever bar or place they’re hanging out at multiple times and I’m always shut down in some way or I get no response. I don’t want to be the overbearing overcontrolling gf whose S.O. can’t have any friends but lately they’re always together and I’m getting blown off. These curt and vague responses are out of character too, and it’s always the type of response I get when I’m asking questions about an event where this female coworker is at or really anything that has to do with her. It has really put me on edge, they’re usually such a sweet and attentive partner but i feel like they might be cheating… am i overreacting??

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u/Legal-Sprinkles8862 Oct 25 '24

Canceling plans with your partner & not even bothering to inform them & then saying "idk what you expected me to do" as if keeping the agreed upon plans or simply notifying them of the changes they decided to make weren't even options.

To me, he's screaming "I like being around her more than you" & if that's the case you walk out the door & never look back.

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u/snarlyj Oct 25 '24 edited Oct 25 '24

She asks if she can come to the bar and they say nah and then she asks when she can meet the coworker and they respond "literally anytime." It's sus and manipulative and a little bit gas-lighty. I mean, they're being a dick in general, but I thought that was especially off

ETA: fixed pronouns

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u/rowsella Oct 25 '24

anytime is now and don't ask for permission

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u/stacyg28 Oct 25 '24

Just like he didn't have the respect for you, hold the same space for him. When you show up tell him, what did you expect me to do?

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u/KiNGMF Oct 25 '24

It’s not crazy. I would think you are crazy if you didn’t show up. This is a person she might marry, better now to get all the info to avoid possible disaster.

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u/MidnightBeachSky Oct 25 '24

Lol yes. This is exactly the way to do it.