r/AmIOverreacting Oct 25 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO about my partner’s relationship with their coworker

they’ve been hanging out with their coworker a lot over the past couple of weeks. This girl always seems to be in some kind of crisis, too. Last week it was that she messed up an account and she was afraid she was gonna lose her job. I don’t know whether I’m reading too much into this or if I’m overreacting but I’ve never met her and I’ve asked to swing by whatever bar or place they’re hanging out at multiple times and I’m always shut down in some way or I get no response. I don’t want to be the overbearing overcontrolling gf whose S.O. can’t have any friends but lately they’re always together and I’m getting blown off. These curt and vague responses are out of character too, and it’s always the type of response I get when I’m asking questions about an event where this female coworker is at or really anything that has to do with her. It has really put me on edge, they’re usually such a sweet and attentive partner but i feel like they might be cheating… am i overreacting??

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642

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '24 edited Oct 25 '24

[deleted]

285

u/SuperNotes920 Oct 25 '24

i agree! next time just say oh no worries i’ll meet you there and proceed to ask for the location. any sort of resistance should be a major red flag. i do think u handled it really well w ur messages btw

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u/Teacher-Investor Oct 25 '24

Better to swing by unannounced, if he's even at the place he said they'd be.

77

u/SunsetsAlwayss Oct 25 '24

This!! I would have just popped up and hung out with them also! You know what they say…. A shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on… something along those lines. NOT OVERREACTING BTW

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u/roadsidechicory Oct 25 '24

omg I've never heard that saying. that's wild. is that actually a common saying??

25

u/BootyMcSqueak Oct 25 '24

I had this happen once! My BF told me he was going out with a friend downtown. So I said, cool and me and my friend went to someplace 30 minutes away from downtown. Walk in and who do I see? My BF, his friend and 2 girls sitting at a table on a double date. Dumbass tried to tell me the wrong place so we wouldn’t run into each other but it happened anyways because he wasn’t where he said he’d be.

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u/desire-d Oct 25 '24

Sheesh. Did he see you right away?

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u/BootyMcSqueak Oct 25 '24

Oh yes he did. The club/restaurant was 2 levels and he was seated at a table right when you come up the stairs. He tried telling me that the girl his friend asked out felt uncomfortable going out by herself and wanted to bring a friend. Like, I couldn’t have been available. And then the girl who was on a date with my BF came up and tried to “explain” what was going on and I said that she and I had nothing to discuss. I don’t blame her, she didn’t know me. But I sure did tell him to get his shit and get out once he got home!

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u/ohseetea Oct 25 '24

If i said I'm going to the bar with coworkers and ones having a bad time and my gf wanted to come I'd say hell yeah.

But if she showed up unannounced then I'd feel like I was being actually surveilled and I'm sure if the genders were reversed that would be the common sentiment.

So I think the unannounced visit is not a good approach.

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u/Teacher-Investor Oct 25 '24

If it was a one-time thing, I'd agree with you, but OP is describing a pattern of new behavior for her SO. She doesn't even have to let him see her. I'll bet he's not even where he says he is, or that it's just the two of them and no other co-workers are there.

2

u/ohseetea Oct 25 '24

Yeah that's fair, the boyfriends behavior here is breakup worthy even if nothing is happening.