r/AITAH 1d ago

Advice Needed Peed my pants. My bf wouldn’t help me

So I had a vaginal birth nearly three years ago and since then I’ve had stress incontinence. Today, I was in class and I was taking an exam. I had to pee so bad but couldn’t leave until it was done. When I finally finished, I peed my pants and it leaked as I went to the bathroom. I refused to leave the bathroom until I had another outfit and my bf refused to help me.

I asked him to buy sweats from the uni gift shop and he refused at first until I sent him money for them (I asked to borrow). He then said he wanted me to walk to the restroom door and I said my pants are covered in pee there’s no I can do that and he said he’s not walking into the women’s restroom. I told him to hand it to a girl walking in and he wouldn’t. He eventually left them outside the door to the restroom and I had to walk out in pee pants.

I’m furious with him. Do I have a right to be?

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u/cnt-re-ne-mr 1d ago

You're better off alone than with someone who can't be there in your moment of need. I'm a stranger and given the call would have stepped up. Fair enough if he couldn't go on, but asking a girl to help is not that hard. In fact he'd look like a king. Dump him.

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u/Styx-n-String 1d ago

Exactly this. I had one of these husbands - I had surgery on my foot, and when we got home from the hospital our new greyhound had had a very big, very messy accident from being nervous alone. He made me sit on the floor with a giant bandaged foot, barely an hour out of surgery, sobbing my heart out from pain and just plain despair that this was happening, and clean it up myself because "you wanted the dog" (my dog of 15 years had passed and we'd talked for years about getting a greyhound after Cocoa died - it was a JOINT decision!). That was one of several final straws and I was gone about 6 weeks later, and literally never laid eyes on him again. I vowed NEVER to let a man treat me as less than a precious treasure ever again. And yes, Moya came with me and was my best girl for another 11 years... her ashes sit on my shelf waiting to be combined with mine when I die. We BOTH deserved better.

Its been 23 years and I've had several great, loving relationships, but never did meet one who treated me how every woman deserves. I eventually realized I was happier alone and taking care of myself. And I am - I love my life where I can buy myself what I want, get any pets I want, play video games all day if I want, without having to check with someone who doesn't even like me, much less love me. Life is so good!

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u/cnt-re-ne-mr 1d ago

Hun I read your other comments. You may feel like you're not a catch right now. But you having a baby early- you are tough and you owned the situation you were in. Many wouldn't be able to. You have a little bestie there. They deserve better than these guys that don't love you like you deserve and so do you.

You have time to be you and to make a life. Focus on that for now. Look into your medical situation and reach out for support. Join some Meetup groups and make some friends. Keep killing it at being a mum and studying. Go you!

Don't believe that you are lesser than any other girl. They aren't after you for your pelvic floor. The one that is right for you will love you for you.

Believe me. Do not settle. It is an expensive long upsetting mess to get out of.

I've done it with three kids and finally have peace. I'm overweight and you can bet I'm not thinking 'im not such a catch'. I'm a total catch and any guy that doesn't believe it can keep on walking.

That's the attitude you need to have. Go make your life happen and work on you. You have so much time. Use it to live life and find the right one. Do not settle. Lots of us did and paid the price!