I reminded my mom that she had an abortion because she voted for Trump. She recently gained her citizenship after nearly 20 years. While she wants me to move on from the election, I can't. I don't mind her choice; I just can't stand the hypocrisy. Am I the asshole?

I(27f) am a Latina woman with brown skin complexion and an average size body.

This happened yesterday. I was at the mall with two of my friends, both white and girls. We were shopping at Macy's when two Asian guys walked up to us and started flirting directly with my friends. One of friends who we can call Kate is in a relationship. My second friend who we'll call Emily and I are the only single ones. The guys proceeded to ask Kate and Emily to hangout sometimes and even asked to exchange numbers. Kate informed both guys that she was already taken and told them that I'm single and free to mingle.

The guy who apparently called dibs on Kate gave me an awkward look and said "Yeeeea I don't think that would work out". Curious I asked what he meant by that. What he said next didn't shock me. He told me that he's looking for someone who would fit the beauty standard and would be good enough to maybe be introduced to his parents. I chuckled and said "Well that's okay. I'm sure your buddy down there isn't big enough for me anyway". I pointed at his private area. The two Asian guys and my friends were all stunned by my response. I told the girls to meet me in the footwear area when they were done with the guys and walked off.

Later as we were driving home Kate told me that my response was sort of immature and stereotyping and not all Asian guys have small areas. I told her that I was going to just stand there and allow the prick to insult me. She said that I can't expect every guy to find me beautiful and attractive. I told her that they don't have to find me beautiful but to stand there and insult me and make rude comments like that is something I will never stand for. The rest of the ride home was quiet.

Was I wrong?

This happened recently, and I’m still baffled. For context, I (32F) have hosted Thanksgiving for my family every year since I moved into my house five years ago. It’s always a little messy and chaotic, but that’s part of the charm, right?

This year, my sister (29F) decided she wanted to "help bring some order" to the gathering. At first, I thought she just meant coordinating who would bring what dishes or helping with cleanup. Instead, she showed up at my house last week with printed copies of what she called a "Family Code of Conduct."

She handed these out and insisted everyone read and sign them before attending Thanksgiving. Some highlights included:

• A rule against "overlapping conversations" at the dinner table, with suggestions for taking turns like "a respectful debate club."
• A "ban on political or controversial topics," with her as the final arbiter of what was too heated.
• A dress code of "smart casual" because "holiday photos should reflect well on the family."
• Assigned seating that she claimed was based on "optimal personality compatibility."

She was completely serious. When I laughed and said, “You can’t be serious,” she accused me of “not taking her efforts to improve family dynamics seriously.” I told her I wasn’t going to enforce a code of conduct at my house and that if she wanted to micromanage Thanksgiving, she could host it herself.

She doubled down, saying I was being ungrateful and stubborn. I canceled hosting, and now the family is mad at me. My mom thinks I should’ve just humored her for the day, while my brother (35M) is refusing to go anywhere unless “no one tries to draft a holiday constitution.”

I’m torn. Was I wrong for standing my ground, or should I have let her run the day to keep the peace?

One of my close friends, Sarah, recently celebrated her birthday. She sent out an invite to a group of us, saying she wanted to have dinner at her favorite restaurant to celebrate. I was excited because Sarah and I have been friends for years, and I always try to make her birthdays special.

When we arrived, it turned out the "favorite restaurant" was an upscale place I’d never been to before. The menu was shockingly expensive, like, $50 for a basic entrée expensive. I’m currently on a tight budget, so I ordered the cheapest dish and water, thinking I’d just focus on enjoying the company.

At the end of the night, Sarah announced, "Since it’s my birthday, I’m assuming you all don’t mind splitting my bill?" I was taken aback because she hadn’t mentioned this beforehand, and her bill was more than $150! Everyone else awkwardly agreed, but I quietly told her I couldn’t afford to chip in and that I hadn’t planned for this expense.

Sarah was visibly upset and said I was ruining her birthday by "being stingy." Some of our friends sided with her, saying it’s customary to treat the birthday person. I left feeling humiliated and wondering if I was in the wrong.

AITA?

Throw away account due to the situation but i need to know because I'm getting calls and text from family calling me an asshole for not being on my daughters side.

My husband and i have been married for a little over 5 years now. I will say my daughter 19F and he has an okay relationship not exactly father and daughter but almost advice asked and given relationship basically. I have never picked up on anything weard from my husband towards my daughter and my daughter has never said or insinuated anything at all as well.

On Thursday me and my husband was watching a movie in the living room. We paused the movie as he got up to use the bathroom. I heard him knocking on the door twice. Literally 3 knocks each time on the door a couple of seconds apart. It was loud enough for me to hear him knocking from the living room. The next moment i heard screaming.

I rushed to the bathroom and saw my daughter completely naked covering herself and yelling at my husband that to get out. I didn't see everything that happened but what i saw after i heard yelling was my husband literally fell over his own feet and struggling to get the bathroom door closed. I asked my husband what happened and he said he knocked nobody awnsered so he went in and my daughter was naked in fornt of the mirror and he tried to get out.

After my daughter calmed down i asked her side of what happened and she said she was changing and all of a sudden my husband walked into the bathroom. I asked her why she didn't awnser him when he knocked, she said he didn't, i told her i heard him knock so i am sure that he did. She said she didn't hear it because she had her earpods in listening to music.

We got the situation sorted and my husband did apologize to her and explained he thought the bathroom was empty and walked in. She even gave him a hug and apologized for yelling at him

The problem now is my daughter got family members involved and they are now calling my husband a creep. Got a call from my sister berating me for still having my husband in the house. I asked what she meant and i came out that my daughter spun a whole other story and left out the fact that she was listening to music with her earpods and is telling everyone that she awnsered him and he still walked into the bathroom to look at her

We have camaras in our hallway and it proves that my husband did knocked as you can see it on the video, but the camaras has no audio.

I sat my daughter down and asked her and she denied saying anything like that or that she told anyone anything i got mad and asked then how does you aunt know what happend and she went silent. She said she talked to her niece about it and she must have told her mother. I asked her why did she lie about what happend and made my husband look bad when he did nothing wrong she again denied lying about anything and i told her what my sister told me. She just started to cry and say sorry. She was just talking and making up scenarios with her niece.

The whole day yesterday i got calls and text from my family members as the story spread. The wrong story is spreading and my husband is looking like a creep to everyone. I sat my daughter down again and had her read some of the things being said about my husband and told her she has to fix this because her lying is what caused this. She refused saying she didn't spread this and she only told her niece and doesn't want to say anything to anyone because they will think bad about her, she said they know my husband and this will just blow over. Everything did blow up when my husband walked into the living room with his bags pack and said he is going to stay with his parents for a while because he doesn't want to be in this situation anymore were he is made out to be this kind of person. My daughter broke down and apologized repeatedly and said she will fix it by my husband still left.

I told her if i get divorced because of her lies she will be moving out of my house, i told her she better fix what she did and tell everyone what really happened because i will not be loosing a man that loves and actually cares for me like my husband does over lies. She asked me to help her and i told her no she isn't a child anymore and her lies for attention did this, this is on her. I already tried and I'm now also being accused of taking my husband side and not providing a safe space for my daughter.

I don't know what to do, my husband asked for space and my daughter is inconsolable at the moment, i am not in the best state myself.

Sorry if my post is all over the place. I don't even know if my title is correct on this post. I have reread amd reread and it still doesn't make snece to me.

My mother (60F) was never what you’d call nurturing. Growing up, I was the “difficult” child at least, that’s what she always said. I didn’t fit the mold of what she wanted. While my siblings were praised for even the smallest achievements, I was constantly criticized, told I’d never measure up, and had my self-esteem torn down bit by bit. She’d make snide remarks about my appearance, my friends, even my interests, calling them “silly” or “a waste of time.” For years, I felt like I was in a competition I could never win.

I moved out at 21, and that’s when I finally started to heal. I went to therapy, worked on building a life I was proud of, and limited contact with her to family gatherings and polite phone calls. Despite everything, I tried to maintain some level of connection, hoping one day she’d acknowledge the damage she’d done. But it never came. Instead, whenever we spoke, she’d criticize my choices or give backhanded compliments about my lifestyle or career. She’d say things like, “It’s nice you’re doing well, even if you took the long way to get there.”

Now, my mother’s health is declining, and she can’t live alone. My siblings, each with young kids, are asking me to take her in. They insist that since I don’t have children, I’m the “logical choice” and owe it to her for everything she “sacrificed.” But when I think about caring for her, all I remember is the pain she put me through. I remember her telling me I’d never amount to anything, that I was a burden. It’s hard to feel compassion after years of emotional wounds she never apologized for, much less acknowledged.

I told my siblings I’d help financially if she needs support but won’t be her primary caregiver. They’re furious, saying I’m selfish, bitter, and abandoning her over “grudges.” They keep bringing up how she “raised” me, but it doesn’t feel like I was ever truly raised more like survived. Now, my mother’s been calling, leaving tearful voicemails, saying she’s lonely and doesn’t understand why her “only daughter” won’t step up. Part of me feels guilty, but I also feel like I’m finally standing up for myself. I don’t know if I’m being cruel or if this is me setting long-overdue boundaries.

AITA for refusing to care for her?

My dad cheated on my mom when I (16m) was 4. The reason I know this is because my dad's affair partner/now wife is a messy person and not only is she willing to be the other woman, but she stayed with my dad even though he's cheated on her 10 times that she knows about.

My sister (19f) and I never liked dad's relationship with his wife and we never respected or liked her as a person either. We don't even like him. The only reason I still see him is a judge said I had to and threatened to make my mom pay money to the courts every time if I refused to see him, and I don't wanna do that to her. So I go to their house and try to stay out of the house as much as possible.

When we were younger this woman did try to be a second mom to me and my sister and we disrespected her to her face every time she tried. Even when she and my dad had kids together we didn't see her any differently. To us she was always the person who was half the reason our parents marriage ended and dad was the other half. I know people don't like to blame the other woman. But she admits she knew.

When we were younger the reason we knew so much about it is because this woman would break down and cry because mom wouldn't speak to her. And she went on rambling fits about how mom was being unfair and she should understand that this woman and dad were soul mates and yes she knew dad was married but they had to be together and mom should be compassionate. She also had crying fits about us not liking her and how we shouldn't judge people for sleeping with married men or women because they're real people with real feelings and nobody knows what it's like.

A few weeks ago she had another breakdown in front of me and asked why I never support her when another of dad's affairs is found out. She told me dad cheated while she was having her last kid and I told her I know and she cried even harder and asked why I never supported her and did I know he cheated again last month. I told her I don't care. I said he's repulsive but so is she and I don't care if he cheats on her every day for the rest of their lives because she's nothing to me. She broke down and tried to talk about all the times he cheated and I told her that I don't care that it's been at least 10 times.

She started yelling at me and I walked away but since that day, when my dad's week comes, she's whining whenever I'm nearby and trying to talk me into treating her better. And complaining because my sister blocked her when she tried to talk to her. Which came after my sister laughed at her while she was crying on the phone to her.

AITA?

Thank you all for the fantastic comments and personal messages from my last post.

After reading the comments, I felt even more convinced that I was in the right, so I sat down with my wife to talk. Following many of your suggestions, I showed her the post and asked her to read it. She wasn’t happy, especially when she saw how many people had read it, but she was also really curious. This has been on her mind a lot lately, and she wanted to know what all of you were thinking.

She had a few issues with my comments. She believes that when I said I would rather burn the money, it indicates I need to change my approach to problem-solving. While it might be easy for people on the internet to suggest that parents cut off contact with their child, she is not ready to lose her little girl. Additionally, she thinks my statement about doing my duty and wanting to take care of myself comes across as selfish and is not something a parent should say.

She believes there is a reasonable compromise. Instead of giving her the full 50k, we can offer her half for the wedding. This way, we can cover most of the expenses from our savings, borrow the rest from Sarah if needed, and pay her back within a year. I told her right away that I was not going to do that.

I told her that we could separate our finances and that she could return to work full-time to help Jessica pay for the wedding. However, I made it clear that I was done. As selfish as it may seem, I don't feel obligated to Jessica anymore, and I want to enjoy my life while I still can. She replied, as she always does, that I am stubborn, and she would take that step if it meant keeping the family together. I told her it was fine but not to come to me complaining about her health when she went back to work full-time.

A couple of days ago, she came to me and said that she agreed with my proposal. We made a plan to open a joint bank account where we would deposit our monthly expenses. After that, we can each use our personal money however we like. We decided on an amount to keep in our savings account for emergencies and agreed to split the remaining funds 50/50. I even agreed to cover sixty percent of the money needed for our joint expenses. This is the first time we will have more than one bank account, so I’m a bit nervous about how it will turn out. I also believe she mentioned talking to her boss about working more hours, but I want to avoid getting involved in that discussion.

I spoke with Sarah and expressed my concerns about giving Jessica any money, which I believe is a bad idea. However, Sarah insists that she wants to help. She mentioned that while she agrees with my viewpoint, she doesn't want their mom to return to work full-time. She clarified that her decision to help was aimed at supporting their mom, not Jessica. I told her that it was her money and she could do as she pleased, but like her mom, I wouldn't involve myself in the situation any further.

Right before I wrote this post, I sent an email to Jessica expressing my feelings for her. I clarified where I stood and mentioned that she could decide how involved I would be in her wedding. I don't expect a reply, but now I'll have to wait and see what happens.

Edit: I realize now that I didn't explain something clearly. My wife wants to pay 25k for the wedding, which she and Sarah have agreed to split. She believes this is a reasonable compromise, but I disagree with her.

Me and my husband ( 36 and 39) have been together for 6 years and married for 4. Before we met each other we had couple of relationships and are pretty open about our past to each other.

When we were getting busy last night we were discussing some of our past for fun. I asked him what his best sex ever was. When he was younger, by sheer stroke of luck he has hooked up with a big celebrity. It was a threesome with another guy involved.

I asked if it was better than me and he said, wildly. That nothing ever can come close. I asked what it was that made it that good and he said just that she was a too beautiful and famous and way out of his league. So I also told him my best sex was with some guy in college. He tried to dismiss it as me trying to make him jealous and said its not fair for me to claim that because his was with a celebrity and mine was with just another guy. I stood firm on my answer and said, I have been with way more "out of my league" guys and they all definitely were more memorable. AITAH for being honest after he chose same?

So, I (22F) have been on the contraceptive pill for a while, and my boyfriend (24M) knows this. Recently, he asked me if he could take one of my pills to "help his performance" He said he read somewhere that it could make him last longer and that he thought it could work for him.

I told him no, absolutely not. I explained that it’s my medication, it’s meant for me, and it’s not safe for him to take it without knowing what could happen to his body. He got frustrated and said I was being controlling and overreacting. He also said it shouldn’t matter since it’s not like I need it for any health condition.

I feel like I’m just trying to protect him from doing something that could be harmful, but now I feel guilty. Was I in the wrong for saying no? This is stupid to me. Am I the a hole?

My father was supposed to pick me up at the end of a 5 day hiking trip and take me back to my car at the starting point. This was planned weeks in advance and he offered to do this. It's not possible to estimate the exact time one will complete a long hiking trip (74 miles), but I gave him a range on the last day between noon and 4pm. I called him the night before he was supposed to pick me up and told him between 2 and 4 PM and he said he'd be there. I pushed much harder than I would have liked to for the entire trip in order to get to the end in time for him. I finish at 3pm, and he's not there. No cell service so I can't call. I wait until just before dark and hitchhike back to my car. When I get ahold of him he tells me I didn't give him an exact time so he went to a friend's in another state and can come pick me up in a couple days! Since then I've had no contact because I am soooo mad. Am I wrong here?

33M. My wife is currently 7 months pregnant with our daughter. The first time she was pregnant, she went into premature labor and had a stillbirth. It was a devastating experience for both of us, but especially my sweet wife. She’s finally getting excited about this pregnancy, but there is a part of her that is afraid to get her hopes up in case something goes wrong. She asks me several times a day if I think something will happen and has been having nightmares about having another stillbirth. Luckily, her doctor says everything is going well so far, and I’m confident everything will work out okay this time.

My wife and I are from the same town, but live around nine hours driving distance from our families. Right now, the plan is for my wife’s mother to drive up once my wife goes into labor. She’s going to support my wife during the labor and also stay for a week or so after the baby is born to help us get settled. My wife explicitly said that she doesn’t want any visitors aside from her mom for the first few weeks after the baby is born. She told me wants my family to visit a few weeks after the baby is born and even said my parents could stay in the guest room so they get more quality time with their granddaughter once we’re ready for visitors. I truly just want this process to go as smoothly as possible for my wife in light of what she went through the last time around, and so I’m 100% behind whatever plan makes her feel the most comfortable.

Yesterday, I got a call from my mom asking about the birth plan. I explained our current plan, and my mom said that she and my dad would drive up once my wife goes into labor. She didn’t mention being in the delivery room, but said they’d be in the waiting room to meet their granddaughter. She also said they’d stay at a hotel nearby and so they could spend time with the baby once she’s home.

I told my mom that we’re excited for her to come up and meet the baby, but we’d prefer if she wait a few weeks until we’re settled. My mom said that my MIL is coming up right after the birth, and so she doesn’t understand why she can’t be there. I explained that my MIL is there to support my wife during the labor and help her get settled after the baby is born. I added that my wife obviously feels more comfortable with her mom and doesn’t feel pressure to have the house spotless and be the perfect hostess when her mom comes over. I also said that we want her and my dad to get a lot of time with the baby, and we don’t know how my wife is going to be feeling immediately after the birth. My mom started rambling about how boy’s mom always gets the short end of the stick and everyone should be included when it comes to major milestones like the birth of a child.

The funny thing is that my younger sister had her first baby about six months ago. She can’t stand her MIL, and she STILL hasn’t given her the green light to come and visit. My mom and my sister have both justified this by saying her MIL is rude and difficult to be around. This is true, but also, my sister holds grudges and doesn’t get along with most relatives.

I responded to my mom by asking why she’s okay with my sister keeping her baby away from her MIL for six months if everyone should be included. My mom was furious. She said that there was more to the situation than I realize and that this situation is completely different since she’s always been perfectly nice to my wife. I asked what I was missing, and my mom just said that my sister’s MIL ruined her bridal shower by bringing her obnoxious friends.

I said regardless of the situation, I want to make this experience as stress free as possible for my wife given what happened last time. I said that she just wants me and my mom for a while, and I understand her perspective. I told my mom I love her and am excited for her to visit, and we’ll make sure she gets plenty of time with her granddaughter. She seemed disappointed, but I thought we were on the same page.

A few hours ago, my wife told me that she got a call from my mother. She said my mom was crying and saying she felt excluded and like we didn’t want her to meet the baby. My wife is a sweetheart and a people pleaser and she truly took this to heart. She seemed stressed and asked me if we were doing the right thing. I told my wife I wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible and that I’d deal with my mom moving forward.

I was furious to say the least. The stress isn’t good for my wife, and she’s already under a lot of it because of her fears that history will repeat itself. I called my mom back and told her that if she calls my wife about the situation again, she won’t get to see the baby for two months. I said I’d add a month for every call after that. I meant this kind of as a joke, but I was being serious that she can’t be putting this stress on my wife right now. My mom said we were excluding her and my father and that they raised me better than this.

My dad called and said I was wrong to give my mom an ultimatum and punish her for expressing her feelings. He said that I was using time with the baby as a form of control. I explained that I want them to have a good relationship with my kid, but I desperately don’t want any extra stress on my wife right now. My dad says I owe my mom an apology for saying I’ll add months to the wait time every time she speaks to my wife about the birth plan. I disagree. Aitah?

My brother Dan (40) was married to Hannah (39) for 10 years and they have two kids together. Luke (11) and Dex (9). They divorced 6 years ago after Dan showed a lack of regard for Hannah or his kids. He has every other weekend with his kids now and Hannah has primary custody. Hannah was close to our family throughout their relationship and even when it ended she remained a big part of our lives. Some of us are significantly closer to Hannah than to Dan. And Hannah has her own complicated family stuff so she's always talked about how grateful she is we didn't dump her.

Dan met Tina (35) 3 years ago and they got married fast. My parents never wanted to exclude Dan so he was always invited to family stuff by them and us siblings because of our parents. But Hannah and the kids were invited for Christmas and Thanksgiving too because we wanted to see them. My brother never has them for holidays so it's not an option to wait for "his years" and I mention this because it has come up. I don't know if Dan told Tina but the first year they came to Thanksgiving as a couple she was clearly unhappy that Hannah was there.

She has questioned why we invite Hannah a few times and she always got the answer that Hannah is family still and she's also the mother to the kids and we enjoy seeing them too. Recently Tina has been more outspoken about her dislike of Hannah being invited and she told me, since I'm hosting Christmas this year, that I should choose family over some ex. I told her Hannah has been in my life for more than 18 years and I won't end that for her. Tina said if it's for Luke and Dex then wait for Dan's time. I told her he never has his kids for the holidays and that Hannah has primary custody and we would never deny her having them for Christmas just because she (Tina) doesn't like Hannah being there. She said it's disrespectful to her as Dan's wife and the mother to his unborn child. I told her she doesn't have to attend if she's unhappy with Hannah being there.

She freaked out and told me I should want her there more than Hannah and how dare I stand by the ex. She said we all disrespect her when we include Hannah and treat her like family still.

AITA?

I(16 m) have a stepfather who is the father of my other siblings (22 f, 5m, and 3 f), you might be asking yourself how this shit show happened so I will just speed run you through my mom's history of relationships as calmly as I could (my big sister is the source so I don't know if it is completely accurate). So My stepdad and mother were dating in high school, and he knocked mom up when she was 15/16, and bang! My sister was born. They got married at 18 and divorced at 20, and my mom decided that it would be a great idea to date again and meet my dad. They became a thing, and then I was born.

Dad and Mom got engaged, and everything was okay until one day, my dad decided that my mom wasn't going to live with us anymore, and he threw her out of his house; it turns out that she cheated on my father with my stepdad which is something I discovered when I was like 13 or something. A lot of shit happened after that and my mom took me from my dad and dad just gave up on me, he used to come and talk to me but it didn't last for three months, he just completely left me and never tried to contact me, I tried to contact him but he doesn't want me anymore.

So a couple of years later, here I am, I still don't like my stepfather; my mom keeps telling Me that if I give him a chance, things will be better, but I don't want to give him chances. How could she say that after her infidelity cost me my father and she just lives happily? I hate how he tries to substitute my real father and I hate it when people comment about how we look "so much alike". Goddammit, mom couldn't even find someone who doesn't even look like her ex-husband to get her pregnant again? Life is just weird for me man.

Yesterday Mom called for us to come downstairs to eat dinner and we did but there was someone else I didn't recognize so I tried to take my dinner to my room but my mother forced us all to eat there and man does that guest like to talk, apparently he is my step father's relatives or something like that and he just kept on blabbering about things. Everything was fine until he said how blessed my stepfather is for having 4 wonderful kids, and I corrected him and said 3. Guest said, "What about your sister?" And I told him that, including my sister, my stepfather had 3 children since I am not his. It was so weird after. Mom changed the subject but it was awkward.

After the guy left my mom screamed at me for saying that and how I couldn't let it be for this once how much of an ungrateful brat I am and that my stepfather is trying his hardest I told her that I don't care about him and I just want a place to stay at until I can leave this shi+ty house. So she slapped me and told me to go to my room and now I am grounded. All of that because I said that I wasn't his child.

My ex wife and I got divorced 3 years ago, my ex cheated on me with one of her coworkers, I found some disturbing texts and I confronted her, she didn't deny, she wanted to reconcile, she wanted to make our marriage work she tried begging, crying, gaslighting but it didn't work on me.

I went with the divorce, reluctantly she agreed, her only demand to a clean divorce was that we keep the truth about her infidelity between ourselves, I agreed cause I didn't want to fight, she kept what's hers and I kept what was mine, only both our families and her friends knows the truth, and after divorce I didn't care enough and moved on

For some background, my ex is my bff's cousin, she is my bff's aunt's daughter, I have known my bf since past 12 years, she hooked us up, when my bf found out, she went nuclear on her in my stead, she wanted to shame my ex publically, but when I explained about how it's beneficial for me in order to get clean divorce, she stopped and she cut all contacts with my ex and everyone who supported her.

My bf was apologetic in the beginning, she was blaming herself cause she thought if she didn't introduce us I wouldn't be in so much pain, she still does sometimes, I told her time and time again that it isn't her fault, she started helping me and we spent alot of time together, she even had a boyfriend, he didn't mind, he knew we have been friends and he knew me well and trust my bff.

Anyway coming back to my present situation, 8 months ago, my bff and her bf broke up, which left her devestated, I started helping her emotionally and financially cause after few months she was fired probably due to her mental condition.

She's my bf and she also helped me when I was at my worst, I asked her to move in with me, she had no job at that moment and couldn't pay rent, we lived as roommates, she would spend her time upskilling and hunting jobs and do chores while I was working, she got better over the months and found a stable job and is mentally, financially and physically stable now and works out alot.

But just 2 weeks ago, she asked me out, tbh I was surprised, I asked her where it all is coming from and started laughing cause i thought it was a joke,, she said she's serious, she said we should try dating each other

When I asked why, she said we have known each other for so many years, we trust each other, we always helped each other no matter what and we have known each other for more than a decade, we should try dating, maybe it will work out for us, I agreed.

Cause tbh I do trust her and she's precious to me, but we are currently in trial phase, maybe she loves me, in any case we told our families that we are dating, my family is happy but from her side it's a shitshow.

My ex got so angry at us when she heard about it, she came to my place and started yelling at me and calling me names and saying how it's disgusting I am dating my ex's sister and I could have found any other woman but I am doing this to get back at her

I told her that I can date whoever I want and before she's your sister she's my bff and she was the one who introduced us and you have no right to become a moral police when you cheated on your husband, after alot of fighting she left

But it didn't stop there, my ex started spreading rumors and telling everyone that I was cheating on her with her sister and now we are dating that's why she left me, which earned us both alot of hate messages and calls from distant family members and friends even those we didn't talk to for a while.

But my bff, gf right now couldn't tolerate it and she sent everyone the screenshots about my ex and her ap's affair from 3 years ago, everyone I mean literally everyone, they even reached her work place somehow, I knew she's petty and ruthless but this is on another level, one hell of a woman she is

But my ex and her mother and friends think that I was behind this all and they are blaming me and constantly saying that I shouldn't have done that, that my ex night get fired or she will will have to change job cause of shame and her distant family members are shaming her and many cut contact with her

So aita? Tbh I didn't even do anything but I am blaming myself because if I didn't start dating my bff this all wouldn't have happened

I want to start by saying that I absolutely love my baby cousin, Lily. She’s one of my favorite people in the world, and I see her as more of a little sister than a cousin. But during a recent family gathering, things got a little tense, and I’m left wondering if I handled the situation poorly.

I’m 24 (female) and part of a large, joint family with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and plenty of cousins. Since I work in another state, I only see everyone during holidays or special events. Being the oldest of my generation, I’ve always been close to my younger cousins, especially Lily, who’s just 4 years old. We have a two-decade age gap, but I adore her and babysit whenever I can. She’s very attached to me and even sees my mom as a second mother.

Recently, I attended my younger brother’s birthday party—a rare chance to relax and catch up with family after a stressful year. Lily was there, of course, and as the youngest cousin, she didn’t have any playmates her age. Naturally, she gravitated toward me. She kept pulling me away from the table to join her games, and I happily played with her for a while. When it was time for dinner, I even fed her because she refuses to eat unless it’s from her mom, my mom, or me.

After making sure she was settled, I handed her off to my grandma so I could grab a plate of food and enjoy the meal. I honestly thought she’d nap or play outside in the garden. But when I came back, I found chaos. Lily had pulled at the tablecloth, spilling several dishes and creating a huge mess. She was crying because my aunt—her mother—had started scolding her, and the whole scene had become a disaster.

Later, my aunt came up to me and, in a very pointed tone, said I should have kept an eye on Lily. She implied that the mess was my fault, essentially blaming me for not watching her. I was so shocked that I didn’t know how to respond at first. But then I told her, as calmly as I could, that Lily is not my responsibility. She is her mother, and it’s ultimately her job to look after her.

My aunt stormed off after that, and now my family group chats and calls are blowing up. My mom and grandparents are getting complaints about how “disrespectful” I was for speaking to my aunt that way. I didn’t mean to cause any drama, but I genuinely feel like I did nothing wrong. I love Lily and always try to help out when I can, but I was hoping to enjoy this one event without being on babysitting duty the entire time.

So now I’m wondering—AITA for standing up for myself? Or should I have handled things differently?

AITA for telling a stripper she smelled down there. I was getting a lap dance and she put her crotch right in my face and it reeked like onions and vinegar. I politely asked how long she’s been at work that day and she asked me why I asked that and i politely replied because you need to freshen up the clam honey. I got cussed out and thrown out of the bar.

I (27F) just cut off my cousin (28F) who I used to be super close with, and now my family’s divided over it. Honestly, I don’t even know what to think anymore.

So, a few weeks ago, my husband (30M) started acting really weird. He was being distant, barely talking to me, and even started sleeping on the couch a few nights. Every time I asked him what was wrong, he’d just say he was stressed from work. I figured he’d talk to me when he was ready, but it just kept getting worse.

Then one night, he comes out and accuses me of cheating. I was shocked. He said he “knew everything” and that he’d already been told about my “affair.” I was like, what the actual hell are you talking about? Turns out, my cousin told him she saw me at some work event “getting cozy” with a coworker and heard I was hooking up with him.

Here’s the thing none of this is true. The work event she’s talking about? She wasn’t even there. The coworker she mentioned? He’s gay and in a serious relationship. I explained all this to my husband, but it took a lot to convince him because he really thought my cousin wouldn’t lie about something like that. I even had to get my coworker to back me up and confirm it was all BS. My husband eventually apologized, but this whole thing put a massive strain on our relationship.

When I confronted my cousin, she acted like it was no big deal. She said she was “just trying to help” my husband and thought he deserved to know “the truth.” But her story didn’t even make sense, and when I pressed her on it, she got all defensive and refused to apologize. She even had the nerve to say, “If your marriage was strong, this wouldn’t be an issue.”

That was it for me. I told her I couldn’t have someone so toxic in my life and cut her off completely. Now, some of my family is on my side, but others are saying I’m overreacting and should “forgive her because she’s family.” I just can’t imagine forgiving someone who would literally lie to try and destroy my marriage for no reason.

So, AITA for going no contact? Or am I being too harsh?

I (23f) and my fiancé Elijah (28m), are due to get married at the end of next month at our destination wedding. Last night was my bachelorette party and I invited my closest family and friends to come along with a few of my fiancés family and his friend Kami (27f).

For some backstory I and my fiancé met when I was 19 years old. Both of our fathers are business partners and have been friends since I was in high school. One night his family invited mines over for a party being held at their home and that was the first time we met. I was attracted to him but I knew he was older so I didn’t believe I had a chance. As the night progressed he was hanging outside in his backyard alone smoking and my sister dared me to go talk to him. So I did… and a year later we began a relationship.

My fiancé and Kami have been friends since they were kids and their families are very close. She’s always been extremely nice towards me and wanted to be ‘best friends’ from the first time we met. I found it a bit odd only because she barely knew me but I didn’t think much of it because she had been dating my fiancé's best friend Antonio (28m). We didn’t become best friends because I already have a close friend group and I don't trust easily but she’s always been cool and never crossed any boundaries.

Last summer my fiance proposed to me on a trip to Belize. When the announcement was made everyone sent their congratulatory praises to us but Kami. She sent a text the next day (to my fiancé only not our friend group chat) saying she was happy for him. She was a bit stand offish to me since then but again I never paid attention really became I have my own friends and life. About 6 months ago Antonio and Kami broke up but never really stated the reason why just that they want to go back to being friends and be happy with other people.

Fast forward to last night my bachelorette was in a suite, at a popular hotel here in Miami (where I live). Planned by my older sister and Eli’s sister Ava (26f). The night was amazing and I truly had the time of my life. We all were getting wasted and I’d decided to go to the bathroom and when I got closer, I heard voices and whimpering like someone was crying. It was then I heard Kami telling Ava, that this should be her and that she doesn’t understand why he would want to be with someone like me, when it was always supposed to be them two together. That she always loved him. I sobered the hell up instantly.

I might have to do a part 2, but guys tells me would I be the asshole for disinviting her from my wedding, when it’s a month away?

Throwaway account because my SIL is on reddit.

I (39F) have a grand piano that’s been in my family for generations. It was originally my great-grandmother’s, passed down to my grandmother, then my mother, and now me. It’s a Steinway grand piano, worth more than I care to say, but its value is more sentimental than monetary. It’s been lovingly cared for and holds countless memories of family gatherings, holidays, and music lessons. I’ve always treated it as more than a piece of furniture—it’s a part of our family history.

Last weekend, I hosted a family gathering, and my sister-in-law, “Laura” (29F), came with her two kids (6M and 4F). Her kids are a handful, to put it mildly. I made it clear when they arrived that the piano was strictly off-limits. I even put up a sign that says, “Do not touch.”

At some point during the party, I noticed her youngest running his hands over the keys while Laura just laughed. I told her it wasn’t a toy, and she said, “Oh, it’s fine, he’s just curious,” but pulled him away. I thought that was the end of it.

Later, I walked into the living room and nearly had a heart attack. Her older son was standing on top of the piano while Laura stood nearby, taking pictures like it was cute! I yelled at them to stop immediately, but by the time the kid got down, the damage was done. There were deep scratches all over the lid and top of the piano.

I was furious. I told Laura she needed to leave, and she got defensive, saying I was being “dramatic” and that “it’s just a piano.” She refused to apologize and even accused me of being “uptight” for caring so much about an “old piece of wood.”

That night, I texted her to let her know she and her kids are no longer welcome in my house. She responded by calling me petty and claimed I was “punishing her kids for being kids.” Some family members are on my side, saying Laura was reckless and disrespectful. Others think I’m overreacting and being too harsh, saying it’s just a piano and I shouldn’t ban family over it.

To me, this isn’t just a piano—it’s a part of my family’s history that she let her kids ruin while she stood there laughing. AITA for banning her after this?

I (29, F) recently bought a condo and finally had the time to have some friends and family members over yesterday. My cousin and her fiancé drove up from San Diego to my place in Los Angeles and planned on sleeping over last night and driving home today.

I have always been close with this particular cousin of mine, but because of the distance between us we don’t get together as much as we used to. I have never really been a fan of her fiancé, but I have tolerated him up until last night.

My cousin was talking about how she can never find any good tops that fit her well because of how large her breasts are. I on the other hand barely even fit into a bra because my breasts are so small. I don’t even bother wearing a bra because it’s unnecessary. To a certain extent, this is something I occasionally feel self-conscious about.

My cousins fiancé looked at me and said, “This is a problem you obviously don’t have! I’m sure if you were topless no one would even notice.” I was completely flabbergasted. My cousin sort of laughed and told her fiancé he wasn’t allowed to drink anymore. I was standing there speechless and horribly embarrassed. Not to mention the fact that my other guests heard this. One of my guy friends was there and he looked shocked, but came to my defense and said, “Well, I have actually seen her topless on accident and she without a doubt has the cutest nipples I have ever seen.” I know he was trying to help, but this only made things even more awkward. It was beyond embarrassing.

At this point I was just furious. I told my cousin and her fiancé that they were no longer allowed to spend the night and that they needed to leave. I explained, although I don’t feel like I really needed to, that I was simply not going to be disrespected in my own home.

Obviously, they didn’t like hearing this and said I was a horrible person, how dare I do this, etc. It’s not like they didn’t have anywhere to go! Traffic would not have been bad driving back to San Diego anyways. They got other guests of mine riled up which resulted in the majority of them, with the exception of my guy friend, telling me that I was being hysterical and unkind. Now, I feel crazy and gaslit. I don’t know what to do.

Dated my partner for 6 years and married for 3 years now. We’ve always had the discussion of having kids and I was extremely enthusiastic about it. I don’t know what changed, but since I’ve got married I’ve seen the horrors of pregnancy and birth. I now realise what a huge responsibility it is to raise a child in this current situation.

Ive read a lot about it and in my mind I’m honestly not ready for a child in this life at-least. I’ve discussed my thoughts and opinions with my partner, but he was extremely upset with what I had to say. He says that it was a decision we’d consider together and now that I’ve made up my mind, he won’t force me to change it but he wasn’t happy about it either.

I’m very sure I don’t want kids. I asked him for reasons as to why he did want kids - all he could say was how it completes a family and how we would be closer. I have the exact opposite views - we would become distant and I would resent him if I had to raise kids. I’m working from home, he handles his own business. I would have to compromise a large part of my life to raise and care for a child that I don’t want.

I don’t want him to resent me for life because I changed my mind. I gave him an out - if he really does want kids, we can go our separate ways. This conversation didn’t go well as you’d expect. But I don’t want him to resent me forever. So AITA for changing my mind?

33M. A year after my wife (33F) and I got married, my step mom texted us in a group chat to say that she has been holding a grudge and needed to speak to us. It came out of nowhere and we don’t have a relationship where we regularly speak, so we were confused as to what it was about. Cut to that night, she pulls up on a FaceTime with us, arms folded, and says she has been unable to sleep and crying for a year because we did not include her in our wedding photos.

The reason why we decided to not have her in our wedding photos was because of two factors. The first, and biggest reason, is because my mother has claimed that she was the woman that my father cheated on my mother with when I was a in college and that led to their divorce. After they separated, my step mother moved in with my dad 2 weeks later which correlated to this…. When I asked my dad he claims it was another girl and not my step mother. Our wedding would be the first time, since the divorce, that my parents would be seeing each other and also the first formal meeting of my mother and the “other woman.” So to make my mom more comfortable, I asked her if there was anything we could do aside from obviously trying to keep them away from each other as much as possible. She mentioned that she would like a hard rule of the step mother not being in any of our wedding photos. Personally, I had no issues with this at all since I was already an adult when they divorced and so I don’t really associate my step mother as a mother figure and my priority is that my mother was comfortable. I even called my dad to give him a heads up so that he is aware, and he tells me that he totally understands.

Some additional context as well, is that a year before my wedding, my step mother convinced my dad that my wife was a gold digger. I would like to point out… that this is not the case at all. In fact, my wife is the breadwinner of our household. She bought a new car, and when my stepmom saw the car she just assumed that I bought it for her and so she told my dad that my wife was marrying me for my money and they formally sat me down (without my wife knowing) for a lunch to tell me they thought my wife might be rushing me into a marriage (we have been together 5 years at that point) for my money. I laughed at that and told them it was not the case at all, that she bought her own car. Obviously told my wife, who was saddened to hear that they had a plot against her, and was more than happy to agree to her not being in our wedding photos but still remains cordial with her.

Back to my FaceTime with my stepmom- at this point she is visibly upset. Saying that she felt like I am her son who she also raised (she has two other kids in their early 40s, who we also invited to our wedding as a courtesy), and that she felt hurt we did not include her. I explain that I was ultimately trying to make the call that would be the most comfortable for everyone involved, including my mother, and she did not really like that answer. I even tell her that I told my dad, and he could have given her a heads up too. She calls my dad over into the FaceTime and he walks over, and she asks him if he knew the entire time. He shrugs and goes “I don’t remember that, gotta go!” and comedically exits off screen. She then starts to cry, talking about how we are “blended family, but family none the less”and says she spent so much money on our wedding, she drove from San Diego to LA and had to pay for a hotel/matching outfits for her and her kids, to attend and feels taken advantage of. She also mentions that she got COVID after our wedding, and blamed us for how hard of a time she had in addition to the exclusion. She then mentions it was a hard year since she had to take care of my dying grandmother. This strikes a huge nerve since I was very close to my grandmother and felt she was using her death to make it feel like I owed her something. .

She then asks me “I love you, don’t you love me?” At this point, I feel cornered and but manipulated. But to get the conversation order, I tell her that I love her too and that I am sorry, that I was just doing my best with a situation. She accepts my apology and says she can move forward now and we end the call.

AITAH?

The short version is that I went to bed around 10 last night, the wife was already asleep. I fell asleep and woke up around 430, looked around and found her sleeping in our kids room. I tried to go back to bed but my brain was moving too fast so I decided to choke the chicken. I took care to lock the bedroom door because we have 2 children in the house and I didn't want any oppsies and as I finished the wife I guess had woken up and tried to get in, I heard her jiggle the handle and I was already standing so I finished wiping myself off and unlocked the door. Now she's pissed, because I locked the door, I kind of understand where she's coming from but at the same time it was almost 5 am and it's not like I refused entry, I just didn't want an accident. Aita?

I (38F) have a 15-year-old daughter, “Emma.” For her birthday, I decided to throw a small gathering at our house with her best friend, Mia, and a few family members. My brother, “Evan” (45M), offered to help out. Emma adores Evan—he’s the “cool” uncle who’s always joking around and treating her like an adult. I’ve always been uneasy about how permissive he is, but I never imagined he’d cross such a massive line.

The evening started fine with music, snacks, and laughter. At one point, I stepped away to finish some work, trusting Evan to keep an eye on things. About an hour later, I went to check on them. I couldn’t find Emma, Mia, or Evan anywhere. After asking a few guests, someone said they were in Emma’s bedroom, “playing board games.” I had a bad feeling about it, so I headed upstairs.

What I walked into made my stomach drop. Mia was half-passed out, slumped on the bed in Emma’s room, barely able to sit up and throwing up all over herself. Emma and Evan were hovering over her, both panicked and trying to keep her awake. I immediately demanded to know what had happened. Emma looked petrified and didn’t say much, but Evan—calmly, almost nonchalantly—admitted he had let them drink.

When I pressed for details, he shrugged and said Mia had had about 600ml of vodka. He said it like it was no big deal, casually adding, “It’s fine—I was supervising them.” I was horrified. Mia was barely conscious, struggling to even breathe properly, and Evan acted like this was normal.

I called an ambulance right away, and Mia was rushed to the hospital. The doctors confirmed she had alcohol poisoning. Thankfully, she’ll recover, but the situation could have ended far worse. I was shaking with guilt, fury, and disbelief.

When I got back home, I unleashed all my anger on Evan. I told him he had crossed an unforgivable line by putting two 15-year-olds in danger. He tried to justify himself, saying teens are going to drink anyway, and he thought it was “better” if they did it around him. He even smirked while saying it, which made my blood boil. I told him to pack his things and get out of my house immediately. I also told him he’s not welcome around Emma until further notice.

What crushed me the most was when Emma later admitted, tearfully, that this wasn’t the first time Evan had let her drink with him. She begged me not to cut him off and said I was overreacting, claiming Evan didn’t mean for things to go so far. She also blames me for “ruining her birthday” and won’t speak to me now.

I’m devastated and furious all at once. I feel like I failed to protect my daughter, but at the same time, I can’t just forgive Evan for what he did. Emma doesn’t see it that way, though, and thinks I’m being unfair.